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Commentary by Brent Kellogg

December 3, 2009

Nobody getting blown off today, but being blown away is on tap as the crazies in Genoa City harken back to the daze when major events often took place "in about an hour" as did Chance Chancellor's commendation ceremony. What, you didn't know that dumb-ass fools like Chance are given awards for their acts of stupidity? Surely you recall when the unarmed idiot approached a coffee shop bandit armed with a knife and got stabbed three times in the gut and lost his spleen. All that time at the God Have Mercy Medical Center must have paid off as the Police Department decided to make a big fuss over its rookie detective who spends more time off-duty than on.

How nice too that getting word at the very last moment that he'll be joining Kevin Fisher and Daniel Romalotti on the long list of town heroes, Chance scooted over to Useless Style Rag where his girlfriend works to ask if she might be able to get off work for the rest of the day so as to attend the ceremony with him. No problem for Chloe Mitchell Ashby Abbott, despite her former husband's rag being on "deadline", Chloe was given the rest of the day off as was the rag's entire "staff" such that it is and has worked so hard albeit only a "break" for the staff.

And wouldn't you know too that a funky awards presentation at the Mayor's Office, or the City Jail, or some such dingy line-up room would require that Chloe wear something other than one of the expensive rags hanging in her closet. No time to lose, Chance was way ahead of her having alerted Fenmore Little Shop Of Horrors owner Lauren Baldwin who had no problem sending a mobile dress shop straight to Chloe's door. And there, pawing over outfits the Queen of Sheba would be proud to wear, while the homeless of Genoa City still eat day-old rolls and wear potato sacks to keep warm, Chloe turned her nose up at some of the cheaper threads and god forbid she wear anything "off the rack".

Decked out in a shiny clean police uniform, Chance was proud to be standing there with his girl dressed to the nines even if she whined briefly about not being worthy. There would be too a photographer at the signing and if Lady Luck was being gracious a photo of the happy couple might grace the cover of Police Officer Quarterly copies of which GCPD cops who had waited to be promoted to detective long before Chance would draw Hitler moustaches and Devil horns.

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