The Genoa City News

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Scratching the Surface

Fashion/Style by Liza Van Horne
April 29 2008

Dear readers, remember a few months back when I was complaining loudly and often about how everyone was wearing black (black!) all the time? Well, I should have been careful what I wished for, as the saying goes, because the assembled guests for Reed's christening looked like they'd come straight from a bag of Skittles. First of all we had Nikki show up to bestow her dog-eared Bible upon her grandson in a watermelon-pink suit with a short jacket and wide black belt. They've got to stop with the boxy jackets and belts, for pete's sake - I can't think of anything less flattering for poor Nikki. It makes her look like a linebacker mated with Tipper Gore.

Continuing in the spirit of Carmen Miranda, Sabrina made a bold departure from her red and black Elvira wardrobe to debut a papaya-colored sleeveless dress with a full skirt and crossover ruching at the bodice. The style wasn't bad, but the color was exactly the opposite of what anyone would choose who was trying to remain subdued and unintrusive. Come to think of it, Victor probably picked it out for her, asshole that he is. "This is my damn house! And if I say I want you to look like a cantaloupe, then you'll look like a damn cantaloupe!"

Even Phyllis was in on the Rainbow Sherbet theme, having selected a horrible diaphanous sack of a blouse in a washed-out shade of peach, paired with an orange skirt. The Lady Lumberjack wore a lemon-yellow tie - and his wife, the doting mother, had on a sleeveless sheath in a shade of spring green somewhere between Kiwi and Who Stole My Highlighter Pen? I'm not kidding you - Victoria looked positively radioactive. However, I must note that she appears to have dyed her hair back to a chestnut brown and it did look as if she'd brushed it.

Ever the class act, Sharon opted out of the fruitiness and instead wore a beige V-necked sleeveless dress that at first appeared innocuous enough, until she turned around to revel that her dress was completely backless with what looked like a black bra showing. I guess that dress was All Business in front and All Party in back, much like the fabric equivalent of a mullet- which should not surprise us, given Sharon's hair. More

 
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