Please visit this merchant

Fashion/Style by Liza Van Horne
June 10, 2008

Dear readers, is Genoa City being taken over by Eurotrash vampires? I ask this because Sabrina, with her newly straightened hair, could not be looking more ghoulish if she tried. God DAMN, those sheets of straight black hair framing her face make her look like the undead, though I suppose it isn't so much a case of her actually changing her hairstyle as it is the fact that with his constant mauling of her hair, Victor has knocked the wave right out of it. I've never seen a person so obsessed with pawing his lover's head. I can't stand having my hair plastered against my face, so I'd slap the shit out of him if I were her.

Sabrina persists in wearing pants whose waistbands come up to her rib cage. Maybe vampires don't have bellybuttons and she's trying to hide that fact. Her thin, sheer white wraparound sweater with slightly belled sleeves was better than the diaphanous swirls of multicolored gauze she's usually drowning in, but that two inches of bare midriff between her high-waisted pants and cropped sweater looked stupid. Speaking of belled sleeves, Katherine looked great in a bright red jacket with wide rounded lapels and bracelet-length flared sleeves on Monday as she confronted "Bathrobe" Bardwell about his duplicity. I hate this storyline. Jill is smarter than to fall for a sleazy con artist like "Bathrobe". But how funny were Esther's over-the-shoulder charades?! I love it when Esther gets something fun to work with.

Nikki was looking very Large And In Charge in her bulky khaki jacket, belted at the waist with a wide black belt. Is it too much to ask that she be allowed to wear outfits that flatter her figure rather than make her look like a linebacker? Late last week she had on a perfectly cute little black dress with a scooped neck and short sleeves that made her look streamlined and curvy. And now we're back to the huge Talking Heads jackets with cinched-in waists. That's all wrong for her. If you're too young to know who the Talking Heads are, Google them. You'll thank me later. And what's with that one two-inch-wide light blonde streak in the front of Nikki's hair?! Jeebus, it looks like my old experiments with Sun-In, none of which ended well.

Sharon Christ saw her son off to SORAS-ing camp in a canary-yellow sleeveless top with a low, draped V-neckline and cropped bootcut white jeans. I don't know why this woman wears bright yellow so often--it's not an easy shade to wear, and does nothing for her. She looks like a giant daffodil. Her hair is back to being straight and flappy, and I hate her. What will it take for this silly broad to get a goddamned haircut?!

On Monday, Kay and Jill both demonstrated the Chain Gang principle by sporting necklaces that looked as if they must weigh upwards of twenty-five pounds. Katherine's was a single strand of thick gold chain that honestly could tow a pickup out of a swamp if need be, while Jill's necklace was about fifteen strands of assorted napkin rings, oversized paper clips, handcuffs and bike locks. My lands, I don't know how she manages to walk upright with all that heavy metal clanking against her cleavage!

Cheers? Jeers? Fashion archives? See below.

Please visit this merchant

Liza's coffee courtesy of
Speeder & Earls, Burlington, VT.

Corner Stores

 Limited Time Specials from DRUGSTORE.COM

Get free shipping with your $25
drugstore.com order.
Offer ends 06.24.2008.

 Spend $39 or more on Gillette
 & receive $10 off your order
at drugstore.com. While supplies last.

 Buy $40 of philosophy products
 and get a free
purity made simple facial cleanser
 ($20 value) at drugstore.com.
While supplies last.

Corner Stores