Fashion/Style
by
Liza Van Horne
At least Lauren made an effort on Wednesday when she
and Michael went for a rare evening out at Indigo. She arrived in a bustier
made of Mylar and had one bracelet wrapped around her upper arm, rather
randomly. But the hair, the hair! I am telling you, the entire back of her
head was completely matted. It looked as if she'd slept on that mess for a
week. I don't understand it. If I can see this shit on my TV, surely the
show's stylists should be seeing it in person and fixing it!
You all know I am, generally speaking, a huge fan of Jill, but what was that
tan gauzy peasant blouse she was wearing while consoling Cane on the loss of
"Minute Rice" Winters? It had folksy brown embroidery around the neck and
cuffs, and really didn't suit her at all. I could see Sharon wearing
something like that, but Jill should stick to what works for her - those
crossover V-necked blouses and those long flowing dusters of hers. And the
hardware necklaces!
Victoria continues to dress like a Vegas schoolmarm in her outfits that are
simultaneously garish and frumpy. Her dark violet dress at the meeting with
Victor and Adam had a narrow sequined round collar that was very distracting
and unappealing. Does this shitheel own a single tailored business suit? On
what planet are these things considered fashionable? At least her
half-brother knows how to dress for success.
I guess Gloria's Humble Pie makeover lasted all of fifteen minutes, because
that cherry-red patent leather jacket she had on the other day was about as
brazen as it gets. You could practically see your reflection in that thing.
An excellent choice for wanting to appear well-adjusted, nurturing and
maternal for your adoption lawyer! Why not pair it with a shirt that says
"ME ME ME" while you're at it? We all knew Gloria was going to promptly lose
interest in adopting. She has the attention span of a flea. Oh, Gloria, you
don't really want a child - you'd kill a freaking hamster in three days flat
after first giving it crippling psychological issues. Someone alert the
Genoa City animal shelters!
Editor's note: Liza is a struggling freelance writer
who gives her talent at no cost to the Genoa City
News. If you like her work and would like to
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