Over a serving of that same chopped salad, "with the
turkey, not the salami, please?" and a split of
champagne "champagne always makes the day go better,
don't you think?"
Sure, if your name is Alistair...
Cresswell holds forth as her exquisite blond
highlights catch the sun, creating a halo effect
against her flawless, tanned skin.
What the frack IS this, eighth grade creative
writing? Seriously. No wonder none of their articles
have bylines. I wouldn't want anyone to know if I
wrote ham-fisted, horrible prose like that either.
Finally, we have a piece of ass-kissing fluff about
Kathy Hilton.
If Kathy Hilton wasn't a society lion and mother to
Paris and Nicky, she says said she'd probably be an
actress. Her latest role is on the Young and the
Restless where she appears as herself,
...way to break the fourth wall there, dumbasses
... and saves the day for the overstressed staff of
Restless Style.
But before she went downstairs to do that, Mrs.
Hilton ("It's Kathy!" she insists) stopped by the RS
covershoot. Y&R viewers will find out why, later
this month.
Look, either maintain the illusion that Useless
Style is real, or don't. Switching back and forth
is lazy and unprofessional.
She made a very good impression on RS staffers, who,
given the general insanity of the Fashion,
Publishing and Society worlds, have seen the Good,
the Bad and plenty of Ugly, too...
Aaaaargh! Unnecessary and incorrect
capitalization only works when you're going for a
Humorous Effect. Otherwise, knock it off!
Kathy Hilton doesn't photograph well. Meaning that
as glamorous as she looks in pictures, in person,
she's much prettier. Warm, friendly and positively
chillaxed for a mother of four.
Chillaxed!
Chillaxed. Chillaxed?!
That's it. I'm done. If this insipid slop is what
they think makes an edgy, hip fashion magazine, all
I can say is thank God it really is just imaginary.
I mean, we've been cranking out this irreverent
mock-newspaper for decades and we don't even get
PAID, but we seem to have more professional pride in
our content than these CBS shitheads do in theirs.
It would be funny if it wasn't so sad. And the best
part? All these moronic, squealing fan comments
enthusing about how AWESUM and KEWL it is. RSM Roolz!
Eleven!
Editor's note: Liza is a struggling freelance writer
who gives her talent at no cost to the Genoa City
News. If you like her work and would like to
contribute to her cause, please send a donation
directly to Liza by clicking the PayPal button
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