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THE CREW: Sheryll Watt, Michele Stanabel, Nancy Owen, Jon Burrows and Heather McGuire. You can contact any one of the gang via Sheryll's link.
 

© 2008 THE GENOA CITY NEWS
An original literary work, Only in Genoa City is protected by U.S. Copyright law. It  may not legally be modified, copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way.

Monday

by Job Burrows

Only in Genoa City:

First, belated Happy Anniversary to the Little Woman. Thirty-nine years of wedded bliss, which is more wedded bliss than all of Genoa City put together.

Should the GCAC sell tickets for the brawls that regularly break out there. But where were the doormen, bartenders, etc. who are supposed to be working there to break things up? Where's Gina to kick all of their sorry butts out - forever? Guess she figures Victor would just buy the place.

Would Victor tell Adam, "You should be ashamed to be Newman." Not any more than we're ashamed to be watching this crap.

Can Victor beat up a blind guy. At least that's better than Nick could manage.

Is Adam lying on the floor obviously injured and nobody lifts a finger to help him. They're probably afraid Victor will kick them while they're bending over.

Does Dr. Pee's wedding dress need no alterations. And yet, when Patty is bound to kidnap and replace her, wanna bet she'll fit perfectly into the dress as well?

Are they putting out multiple copies of RSM for the folks at CL to read. How nice. Wonder if there are back issues available at local doctors' offices?

Would Lily think it's important enough to summon Neil from work and Devon from whatever he does just to listen to her ultrasound. Could it have waited until the end of the day?

Would evil genius Adam still be carrying around that swatch of cloth he claimed came from Sabrina's dress. Does he like the way it smells or something?

Would there be a shortage of photographers in town. How can that be? Everybody's home is crammed with pictures of the latest family groupings. Somebody's making them. Maybe Jack and Dr. Pee should just go down to Walmart and have one made there.

Can Adam get beat up by Victor and then go to his table with Sharon like nothing happened.

Would it have been great if when Adam was walking out of the GCAC Victor had jumped at him and yelled "Gotcha!" Why don't the writers ever think of fun things like that?

Has NuMalcolm been back in town for at least a month and he's never run into Phyllis. How can that be? The only places in town anybody ever goes are the GCAC and Crimson Lights.

Would Phyllis suggest she and NuMalcolm go someplace for coffee. Since they're already there, why not the GCAC? Is CL's that much better?

Are viewers in New Orleans probably pissed right now because they're showing the arrival the Saints in Miami instead of the show. But since it's just Lily praying, we're really not missing anything.

Are we wondering if Billy stopped long enough between the GCAC and meeting Chloe to get another edition of RSM out featuring page after page of pictures of Adam lying on the floor since there's nothing else to go in it.

Are we also wondering how Cane knew where Dr. Pee was. But since she wasn't at CL, the GCAC was a logical conclusion.

Are the kids at Walnut Grove really mean. They're always tormenting Noah because of the latest Newman family scandal and Daisy because she's poor. Now poor Abby can't show her face there either. Maybe they'll all just go off to Paris where the people just love Americans.

Did Victor actually bother to knock. But then again, then Ashley told him she had nothing to talk to him about, he came on in anyway.

Does Tucker sure run a lean shop. Nobody else seems to work for him. Maybe they're all back in New York. Or he just outsources everything. No wonder he's a billionaire.

Is Tucker suddenly concerned that Victor called Adam "a congenital liar." Maybe he should have checked Adam's references before hiring him.

Does Malcolm have plenty of time to shoot Jack and Dr. Pee's wedding photos. Why not? He's supposedly working for RSM but as far as we know hasn't had an assignment yet. Maybe Billy keeps beating him to the punch.

Would the taxpayers be happy to know that while she's supposedly working ADA Heather Stephens instead is up in her room texting random guys seeing if they wanted to make booty call.

Would Sharon take off telling Ashley she'll be back later. Where's she going? Doesn't she live there?

Would Adam thinking having a Harvard MBA and experience on Wall Street trumps going to GC Community College for about six weeks like Nick did or not even bothering to graduate from high school like Vikki. Hell, Abby's just 15 but she's in line to be made a vice-president any minute now.

Are Jack and Dr. Pee going to hell for making out in church.

Do both Nick and Tucker not realize that combining Jabot and Newman Cosmetics would turn two crappy companies into one gigantic crappy one.

Does Tucker consider Jabot "too small." We always thought it and Newman were the only two cosmetic companies in the world.

Would Sharon telling Phyllis to "back off bitch," ordinarily be the start of an arousing catfight. Guess TPTB figure the Victor-Adam dustup was enough excitement for one day.

Would Victor remind Adam that until further notice he's to continue hating his guts. That shouldn't be too hard.

Is the over/under on "sharp as they come" Tucker figuring out that Victor and Adam are in cahoots about five minutes.

Tuesday

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