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Tuesday

by Jon Burrows

Only in Genoa City:

Is the door to Jimmy's unlocked, but there are no customers. What else is new?

Does Mac act like Kelly from The Office running around the bar to hug Billy. Whatever happened to the Miss Prim 'N Proper?

Would Billy ask, "Why should I apologize?" We can think of about a million reasons.

Does Chance win the award for the worst arrest attempt ever. He didn't pull his gun or tell the robber to freeze. He just grabbed him by the shoulder and got stabbed for his troubles. Served him right.

Have no other cops shown up at the hospital to check on Chance. Maybe that proves our theory that after the sanctuary debacle he was kicked off the force and has just been pretending to be working ever since. Has anyone actually seen him make an arrest or solve a crime?

Did Chance fake sleeping as long as he could before finally acknowledging that Chloe was there.

Would Michael say he's forgotten what Eden looks like. We wish we could forget what she sounds like. Fingernails on a blackboard is more pleasant.

Do Noah and Eden have time for a leisurely breakfast at the GCAC and then more coffee at CL before school starts. Oh, we forgot. They go to Walnut Grove where attendance is optional.

Are we wondering how Abby is getting from the ranch to CL? Does she have a car? Did she call a cab? Maybe she just hitchhiked.

Does Ashley not seem too worried about Baby Faith's wellbeing. Has she forgotten about her already?

Is the Amber-Daniel wedding shaping up to be one to avoid at all costs.

Could someone please explain to us again who Ryder is and why we should give a damn.

Does Chance claim to have done three tours in Iraq. And he's supposed to be about 20? How old was he when he joined the Army? 14?

Would Abby's teacher be confused about Ashley's right name. But then keeping up with what to call the ex-Mrs. Victor Newman's has always been difficult.

Would Abby's teacher complain about her skipping class. We never thought that was supposed to be a problem at Walnut Grove. Remember when the Glow Worms came and went as they pleased?

Is Ashley in a real kill the messenger mood when it comes to Abby's teacher. What a bitch.

Was Eden all snarky with Abby and Daisy the last time we had the misfortune of seeing them and now they're studying together. Can't she make up her freaking mind?

Is Kyle Somebody the coolest guy at Walnut Grove. Boy, we can't wait to meet him.

Is Abby a little overdressed for school. And now she's trying to act like some like of femme fatale around Ryder. As Michael York said to Liza Minnelli in Cabaret, "You're about as fatale as a cream de menthe."

Does Mac keep talking about wanting to life to mean something. If so, why in the world is she with Billy?

Would Chance say he stabbed himself on purpose to avoid meeting with Phillip. We'd stab ourselves on purpose to avoid watching their scenes.

Would Billy say he can't stand to be in the same room with Cane. Guess what, pal? There are a lot of people who can say that about you.

Would Kevin talk about the bad things he's done with Lauren without mentioning the time he kidnapped her. Guess he forgot that one.

Would Chloe wave around her divorce papers like they're something special. Hell, everybody in town's got at least four or five sets.

Is Baby Delia certainly well-behaved. Chloe laid on her and she didn't make a sound. They must have that kid really doped up.

Would Michael claim he saw Eden once crack a smile. Very doubtful.

Is Lauren apparently going to hang out at CL all day. Why not? Nobody's buying anything at the boutique.

Did Abby get in the zinger of the day when she reminded Ashley that it was pretty hard talking to her when she all she was doing was locking herself in her room and crying.

Is Eden a pain in the ass in class. Why are we not surprised?

Is Michael using CL as his office now. Guess it saves on overhead.

Does Michael finally have a paying client. That's what happens when you expand our business outside of your family.

Wednesday

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