Genoa City News

Mr. John 'Yawn' Abbott
Jabot Cosmetics
Genoa City, WI.

Dear Yawn,

As a concerned Genoa City observer I've been thinking and, as you might imagine, not sleeping well. My coffee tastes funny and there's this luminous glow flickering like a bad light bulb. I haven't seen anything like it since Phillip Chancellor died.

Are you near death?

The reason I ask is because of all the talk. There you were this week getting all excited about going back to work and having chest pains. The angina was so bad you doubled over. If it hadn't been for that chair you would have fallen flat on your face. Not that you aren't used to it. You've had more than your share of heart attacks and strokes. But aren't you getting tired of going to the hospital? Don't you think you've worked long enough? What are you, 90? For sure, you're pushing 80 so why subject your final days on this earth to a folly?

Why not cash in your chips, take your new bride and head for the Bahamas? If the warm tropics don't suit you how about a cool mountain cabin? I hear Victor Newman can get you one in Montana. Pack up your troubles and leave Jabot. Leave Genoa City. Leave the silver spoon for those worthless kids to fight over. Enjoy those golden years.

Let's get to the point. All sources are telling me that you are more than a little outta control. Way out of line. Off-leash and lost and drunk on dreams of cosmetic supremacy. The various world deities are shooting me urgent e-mails left and right. We gotta talk, Yawn. Are you sitting down? Thinking cap on? Drooling cup nearby? Excellent.

If you go back to Jabot you might as well make the funeral arrangements now. Your heart isn't in it and can't take the stress. Your surrogate daughter says the years of watching a company you built with your own hands go down in flames is "breaking his heart". Your own son agrees. Says you can't handle the stress of waging war. Don't you know, Yawn? War is the last refuge of the small-minded and the lost. Are you lost? Are you ever going to learn that Ashley isn't your daughter? Isn't it sad that I had to be the one to tell you? That those kids living off your sweat go on letting you believe a lie?

When you gonna disown that baby killing sperm thieving bitch? Did you hear what she said Tuesday? Said that now you've dumped her as CEO she can go back to sniffing test tubes. Says "the lab needs me". Can you believe this, Yawn? Ashley trashes your company yet has the nerve to think she can just go back to the lab as if nothing has changed? As if new toxic chemicals will help you at this crucial point?

Didn't you hear Jack screaming this week? He doesn't want you going back to work. Says the war at Jabot is "ugly". Says you'd take too long getting up to speed. Does your wife tell you that too, Yawn? You ain't no spring chicken. You ain't no Sharon Newman who can learn the inner-workings of a major cosmetics company in two weeks.