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Remember When - 2001
Nick & Sharon Newman's Dead Baby - part 7
April 3, 2002
Newmans plan last supper
by Michael Kelly
Java Hut owners Nick and Sharon Newman were making plans on Wednesday to break bread
together in a perhaps foolhardy attempt to repair their meandering, miserable marriage.
While in a conference with his father Victor Newman, Nick told his daddy that the success
of the evening hinges on the unhinged Sharon being willing to apologize for saying that
her husband's responsible for the death of their unborn child, Baby Doe Newman.
Rich Boy thought it best if he and the Little Woman discuss a neutral topic like the
weather. Big Daddy Vic agreed with his insipid son. Are Mr. and Mrs. Coffee capable of
carrying on such a brain straining conversation? Can they even tell the difference between
day and night? Many in Genoa City doubt that these two have the sense to come in out of
the rain. Or even recognize that it is rain.
At the Java Hut, Sharon Newman was more distracted than usual. She bent the ear of waiter
turned Newman ranch manure slinger and horse whisperer Diego Guittierez. The ditz told him
all about the planned dinner. Diego suggested Newman prepare one of his mother's Cuban
recipes. Not a smart move. Simple Sharon needs to master the art of Kraft Dinner before
moving on to paella or empanadas. She's no Julia Child or Wolfgang Puck. For what it's
worth, Newman can whip up a mean batch of margaritas. If he were alive, Matt Clark could
vouch for that.
After Sharon realized that the Newman ranch might be an awkward place for din din, Diego
suggested that the Java Hut would be perfect. At that point, Newman's little mind back
flipped to the night her husband proposed there. Once out of her trance from the past,
Mrs. Newman thanked the servant for his nifty idea. To insure their privacy, Sharon's
decided she and Nick will dine in their Java Hut office. Diego offered to close the joint
for the night, but the Boss Lady said it's not necessary. The sounds of the cappuccino
machine slurping, jukebox blaring, and teens chattering will only add to the romantic
ambiance.
What will detract from that ambiance are the participants themselves. Nick shouldn't hold
his hand over his ass waiting for an apology from shrewish Sharon. How ironic that for the
first time in months, Mrs. Newman seems to be bubbling with enthusiasm at the thought of
seeing her husband. Too bad Mr. Newman seems cautious and apprehensive. Since these two
still have their wires crossed, an emotional meltdown seems inevitable. This dinner might
be the last supper for the Newman marriage.
Proving their love?
(Dateline) -- August 20, 2002
Adding
to the need to cleanse, purge and detox herself at least once each year, the dumbest woman
in Genoa City, Sharon Newman pressed for and received permission today from her equally
moronic husband to make another baby.
Nick Newman, eager to construct a miniature effigy of sticks and glue if it would make his
fragile wife feel better, put a frazzled expression on his big face and agreed that
another baby would "prove" that he and the box of rocks for a brain love each
other.
All self-inspired and sexuality-fueled, Sharon thought having another baby
would be the golden parachute needed to escape the reality she cheated
on Nick [with Diego Guittierez] and placed the family she now claims "mean everything thing to me" in
jeopardy.
Nick's head-in-the-sand
reaction was predictable. Having another child would be the joy in their otherwise
monotonous lives.
And what of the baby Sharon lost last year? Oh yeah, that. It was tragic but life
must go on.
Declaring Sharon the "perfect mother" Nick said he'd never forget
that Sharon will always love him.
(Dateline) September 19, 2002
Intelligence ignored
by Brent
Kellogg
You've
got to hand it to Nick Newman. In one brisk, neat and heated conversation with his lying,
cheating, adulterous wife he pulled the rug from right under Sharon Newman's feet.
There she was at the Newman ranch outhouse shaking her head madly and swearing
that all she's ever wanted was an honest relationship with the only husband and family
she's ever loved.
Playing the role of a multilateralist, and hoping to avoid the overdue and seemingly
inevitable meltdown of her shaky marriage, Sharon grasped in desperation for the
right words when asked to come clean and tell the truth about her affair with the stable
boy. She did everything she could to avoid a continuation of the war and Nick Newman did
everything he could to avoid peace.
Noting that she acted like a jealous schoolgirl the day she eyeballed Diego Guittierez
with her sister-in-law, Nick reminded his wife that she wanted to have sex with him
that day but couldn't stop thinking about the cow poke.
Fighting back another bawling fit, the guilt-ridden
Sharon rationalized,
"I felt guilty because I hadn’t been honest with you."
Backed into a corner, Nick was having none of the lies. He wanted to
twist the guilt dagger deeper into her back.
"I don't believe you," he exploded.
Unwilling to submit the case to further arbitration Nick told Sharon if she
wanted bronco Billy so bad she could have him.
That said, Nick virtually pulled the pin on one of Sharon's many crying grenades and
bolted.
Arriving at his office later Nick looked at a photograph of the box of rocks
triggering an onslaught of pictures in his head of his wife thinking about having sex with
another man.
Checking a telephone directory, Nick's eyes scanned for a blast from the past, found the
number and placed a long distance call to New York.
Hello? Is that you Grace Turner?
(Dateline) -- October 15, 2002
Mutant phlegm!
by Brent
Kellogg
The glitz! The
gallantry! The nerve!
Put 'em
all together and you've got Nick and Sharon Newman engaged in raunchy talk inside
their outhouse abode.
Dressed in a black negligee with white lace trim and rubbing chemically laden body lotion
on her scraggly body, the dumbest woman on earth badgered her husband about Disgrace
Turner. Had Nick summoned the horse face to town?
His moral compass still out of whack, Nick couldn't understand what difference it would
make. His wife had betrayed him so he could do whatever he damn well pleased.
Begging for forgiveness, Sharon spewed again that she made a mistake during a rash moment
when she slept with the stable boy and she'd never be able to forgive herself. But
thinking about Turner makes her blood run cold and she couldn't comprehend why Nick would
want to protect "that slut."
Beaten down and laden with guilt, the psychological torture intensified when Sharon
figured out that Nick had slept with the centaur. And from the
smirk on his face she knew she was right.
When she called him a "son of a bitch" Nick didn't defend his mother. His
sexuality burgeoning, Nick proudly confirmed that he had humped Turner not once - but
twice!
The adorably frumpy and scowling Sharon began to bawl and pounded on Nick's chest.
The rage turned Nick on. His love sausage growing, he threw Sharon down on the Serta
perfect sleeper [purchased so Nick could move back into the outhouse and
sleep in the living room] and began injecting spit into her mouth. After some weak objection, Sharon
gave in. Gyrating like lascivious ferrets on acid the two erupted in sexual bliss.
Mutant phlegm can only describe these two dolts who will now, predictably, resolve their
differences provided the sex was good enough to make Nick forget what Sharon did.
Likewise, Sharon was so desperate she'd take Nick back regardless of how many women he
screwed to get even.
The End, For Now
And so it wasn't to be until May 30, 2003, when it all came to an
end. Their dead baby long forgotten, and a fter undermining the human race blow by blow, chunk by chunk
with his self-righteous I'm a man so it's okay if I want to screw around with other women
but if my wife screws around with other men - especially my daddy - it's not
okay,
hate-filled snarling, Nick Newman realized for the first time he didn't
really know why his wife walked out on the family for an entire three months.
"Do you have any idea why I left?" a tearful Sharon Newman asked when Nick
attempted to tongue lash her again for being totally to blame for what had happened to
their miserable lives.
The only thing Nick could think of was the letter Sharon had written in which she
confessed having kissed the great Victor Newman. Damn but how Nick hates Sharon for that
and his father too. And for all the weeks of disowning daddy and vowing never to speak to
him again Nick was just beginning to think that maybe it was all a lie. Maybe he hadn't
seen his wife shoving her tongue down daddy's throat. Maybe it was an illusion.
"I left because of you," Sharon peeped.
"What does that mean?" Nick replied.
Why are these people talking in circles at this late stage in the game a prudent person
would have asked if it were not already known that goofy Nick was about to - as he always
does - capitulate. And just in case anyone was thinking all atrocities were on
Sharon's side, nope, nosirree, the Newman flying monkeys were still working hard to make
Nick the small-minded pro-death bible-thumper who loves God and guns but sometimes forgets
which is which.
"I am very proud to serve my family in this love-hate capacity," Nick did not
say, as Sharon explained she had been beaten down so far she was on the verge of a nervous
breakdown.
"I was physically and emotionally drained," Sharon sniveled and went on to say
for the umpteenth time she was a poor excuse for a woman and unworthy to be a Newman.
And since Nick had never been caught up in personal tragedy such as to require getting
away from civilization to sort things out, how could he possible know what it
was like
living with a dysfunctional family that treats its outcasts like some slimy hairy gunk dug
out of a bathtub drain?
"I didn't quit. You did," he spewed, as if all the insanity he'd dragged the
family through was some monopoly game where the person with the least amount of money
quits when all the hotels have been purchased.
But incredibly - and isn't everything these people do incredible - Nick said no when
Sharon said that getting married was their first mistake.
"You've been part of everything that’s been amazing in my life," Nick
stuttered, sending Sharon into total disbelief.
"I thought you hated me?" she asked.
"I may hate some of the things you've done but I don't hate you," Nick replied.
Then, in the blink of an eye it was over. Nick gave in. Sharon could move
back into the outhouse. The children would be happy. There would be
rejoicing in the streets! The bright shiny righteous angry god had
obliterated the angry sullen god.
"Are you serious?" Sharon wondered, and understanding Nick had made it so,
broke down into a bawling jag.
It was only a matter of time. It was, basically, a fierce and
bloody Newman marriage steamroller that hit a few unexpected speed bumps
along the way. Dead baby? What dead baby?
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