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Tumbling Tumbleweeds
July 31, 2006
by Brent Kellogg
When Victor
Newman recently dumped his old private jet on Neil Winters I couldn't help
but see in my mind's eye an aging Lear jet parked in a hanger at the Genoa
City Airport leaking oil and filled with hairline cracks on the fuselage.
The old jet has logged more than a few miles having once almost flown around
the world delivering Christmas presents to Victor's many world-leading
friends, impressing his newly found granddaughter on Halloween and the many,
many flights to Kansas.
Yes, Kansas.
Who doesn't remember that in 1993 Victor, like he did today, just up and
left Genoa City? Who recalls when he apparently stopped to pee on a deserted
road in Kansas and a man popped out of the tumbleweed, robbed him at
knifepoint and then drove off in his Rolls? The car was later found burned
to a crisp and all police found was Victor's ID bracelet and a piece of his
driver's license.
For the longest time Victor's family thought the great man was dead. But as
fate would have it Victor was seen later on foot approaching a farmhouse and
ever so coincidentally witnessed a man assaulting the farm's owner,
Hopeless Adams. After browbeating what turned out to be a disgruntled hired
hand, Victor agreed to stay with Hopeless until her nerves had settled and
helped around the farm slopping pigs and gathering eggs.
Slightly concerned that is family might be worried, Victor called his man
Friday and learned from Col. Douglas Austin that everyone was doing just
fine without him. His former wife, Nikki Newman had arranged to have Cole
Howard's book published and celebrated by getting it on with him although
she was pregnant at the time with Jack Abbott's baby. It didn't really
matter as Jack was about to dump Nikki because she had indicated a desire to
re-marry Victor. Still, Nikki was hot for Cole and competing with the young
stud with her own daughter, Victoria.
Knowing what a friggin' mess he'd left behind, Victor decided Kansas was the
place to start life anew. He had, after all, been faced with his own
mortality. Learning Hopeless had been blind since birth and that she had
grown up in an orphanage like he had was all it took for these two to stick
like clue. Besides being an orphan, Victor liked that Hopeless was so
spiritual. It did, said Victor, make her "unlike" any woman he'd ever known
before.
Smitten with Victor, Hopeless called off her engagement to longtime neighbor
and friend Cliff Wilson and their planned wedding too saying that Victor has
an effect on her "unlike" any man she'd ever known before.
Then one day Victor heard on the radio that Jack had taken over the Newman
Empire. Determined to get back what was his, Victor packed up Hopeless and
away they went to Genoa City leaving poor Cliff to gather the eggs and slop
the pigs. On the plane Hopeless repeatedly sputtered how she'd never flow
before and how it was like being in a different world.
On the ground, Victor sent out anonymous invitations to a "Gathering of
Great Importance" to be held at the ColonRoom's private dining room. When
the guests had assembled Victor popped out. There was much shock and awe
followed by Victor trying to get rid of Jack and Victor's former squeeze
Ashley Abbott bonding with Hopeless.
By the time 1994 rolled around Victoria and Cole were married. Returning
home from their honeymoon the happy couple were shocked to learn that,
according to Victor, they were brother and sister. The marriage was
annulled, Victoria patched things up with Nikki and Nikki gave up the idea
of making Cole her own. It was learned later that the two were not related
and so Cole and Victoria remarried. Still, because Victor hadn't told her
what he'd known all along about Cole, Victoria refused to invite Victor to
the wedding.
Victor went on to fall in love with Hopeless but she wasn't so sure he could
commit to a blind woman. When Victor proposed, Nikki swooped in to tell
Hopeless she would never be able to satisfy a man like Victor and later
crashed the wedding reception. Hopeless also found out that Victor didn't
take well to babies but that didn't stop her from getting pregnant. When
Victor found out his skin crawled. What if the baby came out blind?
As it so happened, Hope got into an accident on her way to have an abortion.
Unharmed, Hope thought it was a sign from God that she should have the baby
and so she did. And lo, but what Victor and Hopeless didn't start having
marital problems. They did, it was said over and over, come from two
different worlds. And in 1995 a healthy Victor Adam Newman Jr. was born.
Mom and Daddy Newman had opposing views as to how their son should be
raised. Barely out of the womb, the kid was also the target of hate balls
hurled at him by other Newman siblings who were pissed that their shares of
the Newman fortune had been reduced. Constantly unable to get along,
Hopeless packed up the kid, went back to the farm and to consider Cliff's
marriage proposal. Meanwhile, Victor wasted no time filing for divorce and
returning to Nikki for a shoulder to cry on.
In 1996 Victor was shot. Following his recovery Victor went to visit
Hopeless in Kansas primarily for the purpose of renewing himself
spiritually. He did not take along a change of clothing and after repairing
Hope's fence the black tank top he was wearing was soaked in sweat.
Regardless, Victor sat down at the dinner table without taking a shower to
eat some of Hope's famous pot pie.
The next morning Victor was wearing the same tank top and Hope, with her
heightened sense of smell, didn't get a whiff of his body odor. They were
telling each other again how they came from different worlds when Cliff.
Cliff was immediately upset to see Hope drooling all over Victor, but
couldn't do anything about it because in this relationship, it was Hope who
wore the pants.
Victor went back home to propose to Nikki because, apparently, Hopeless has
made him realize that his brush with death was a sign from God. Before
Victor could pop the question a call came in that Cliff had been hit by a
drunk driver and might die. That Victor rushed back to Kansas to be with
Hopeless so pissed Nikki off she married Dr. Josh Landers in Las Vegas.
The official archives don't cover how it came to be, but Cliff died and in
1997 Hopeless returned to Genoa City to fall for the mysterious Kurt Costner
who had saved Ashley's meaningless life after having been mugged again. This
set up a battle over Kurt between Hopeless and Ashley.
Somewhere in between Victor's oldest son, Nick, came home from a Swiss
boarding school which was so important Victor cut his honeymoon with
Hopeless short only to spend less than an hour with "my boy". By this time
too the GCN had dubbed "Plain Jane" because things had become so convoluted.
Petting Jane's head like some lost puppy he'd found, Victor asked Jane how
she'd liked the return trip.
"It was like being in another world," Jane actually said.
Surprised to learn of the marriage, Jack dropped by the Newman's 35th floor
apartment to find Jane bumping into the furniture despite the fact that
before bringing Jane home, Victor had put everything he could in Braille
including a Bible that almost never left Jane's side. Asked by Jack how she
enjoyed her honeymoon, Jane said, "It was a whole new experience and that
she was "the luckiest woman alive."
Then there was the first time Jane brewed coffee. Taking a sip, Victor
remarked how good it was and wondered how she had learned to make such great
tasting java.
"I remember my mother teaching me to make coffee when I was young," Jane
said as she again told Victor how "thrilling" life was with him in it.
"You're like a magnet for excitement. It clings to you and surrounds you
like an aura. I'm in awe of you most of the time," Jane blathered until she
noticed something was bothering her man.
"Tell me about your pain," Jane cooed.
Victor's pain had nothing to do with the questionable fact that while Jane
claimed to have been raised an orphan, she somehow had a mother who taught
her how to brew coffee.
See Also: Different Worlds
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