Based on a report originally published
February 18, 2004
by Brent Kellogg
Now that Ashley Carlton is
going out on dates with Tom Fisher when she knows what a "dangerous" man he
is, who hasn't noticed how similar this event is to what Lauren Fenmore did
almost 2 years ago?
We wrote then of putting our
hands together and offering thanks that we were not a crazed, unemployed
bookkeeper or the owner of a horror shop and living in Genoa City. The
gratitude was such a given we didn't need to hear why. We just said to
ourselves, oh my freaking God, I can only imagine.
As if being unemployed wasn't difficult enough. As if having a pack of angry
teenagers with pitchforks and many many people who wanted him dead just 'cuz
they thought he did something they didn't like, toss in an adulterous
private detective (who abandoned his son when the new baby smell wore off)
and this city's oldest living slut who hadn't seen her son for so long she'd
forgotten she had one.
Conversely, we noted how
Kevin Fisher had consensual sex with a minor of the opposite sex, locked
J.T. Hellstrom's creepy girlfriend in a restaurant freezer and set the place
on fire. The police were never able to prove it and the case was eventually
closed. But those hell-bent on fingering Kevin wouldn't let it go. They
treated Kevin like a case of the plague and caused him to lose his job.
Down on his luck, Kevin was strolling by the Little Shop of Horrors one day
when he noticed an aging, rabid woman having sex in the window. Thinking she
was an easy lay, Kevin later caught the woman alone and something about her
voice made him think of his mother. A neon sign flashing "Bate's Motel" in
his head, Kevin couldn't believe his good fortune when she agreed to go to
the Valentine's Day dance with him.
Kevin's dream of having sex with Lauren Fenmore came to a screeching halt
when he discovered she was part of a diabolical plot to make him to confess
to his crimes. Angry, he looked around the dance floor. Pitchfork-holding
teens who had come to watch him "go down" had either left or forgotten he
was even there.
With the coast clear Kevin took Lauren back to his apartment on the premise
he had a secret to tell her. And although she had been told a million times
what a "dangerous person" Kevin is, Lauren went along.
Maybe it was the knowledge
that PI Paul Williams would come to her rescue just in the nick of time that
made Lauren do something so stupid. Maybe that Paul knew she'd be at the
dance with a crazed man - but never bothered to show up to nab the bad guy -
had something to do with the fact that he had no evidence to prove Kevin did
anything.
And even when Paul found out that like a gazillion other people Kevin was
once an electricians' assistant, he didn't go to the dance or check to see
if maybe Lauren was making out with a dangerous man. Instead, Paul went to
the God Have Mercy Medical Center to tell one of the local strippers that
Kevin was the one who fried her that fateful night as she slid her skanky
ass up and down a metal pole.
The saga of Kevin Fisher could have ended with Paul coming to the rescue
before things got any more incredulous. But no, Lauren had to go and act
like some priest in drag. In her best mama loves little boys voice, Lauren
told Kevin not to be shy. She, Mother Lauren was there. Baby could tell mama
anything. Like, the "juicy" secret she had come so far to hear.
"C'mon Kevin, you can tell mama," Lauren did not actually say, but it was so
close to what she really said as to make a can of maggots squirm.
"Maybe you have a secret you'd like to confess to me," she actually said, as
if Kevin could not see that she was acknowledging again what a phenomenally,
unspeakably repressed and sad in about a thousand different ways whore.
The only good thing that could have come out of what turned into another
case Paul bumbled, would have been for Kevin to shoot Lauren dead. Alas, all
that came of it was more shrilling of how thankful everyone was that Paul
saved the city from another "dangerous" person when in fact, he did nothing
but make a fool of himself.
And so here we are two years later and nothing has changed except that
instead of porking Lauren, Paul is after Ashley. Instead of Lauren putting
herself at risk to take Kevin down, it's Ashley trying to single-handedly
take down Tom. Instead of pitchfork-wielding teens, we have Michael Baldwin
swearing he had no idea Tom could be capable of murder when it is Michael
who has threatened to kill Tom several times and sissy boy Scotty Grainger
warning that Tom better not mess with his mother or Tom will have to answer
to Scotty.
Instead of Paul throwing
fits and screaming what scum Michael is, Paul's working hand-in-hand with
Michael. Instead of being the city's most dangerous man, Kevin is now dearly
loved by his former enemies. It's Tom's turn to be most dangerous.
So that's why, if you find
yourself asking, "Haven't I seen this before?" the answer is yes. It's
essentially the same story. The characters are interchangeable. Been there,
done that.
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