Please visit this merchant

Shop these corner store merchants

More Merchants
Avon Store
Flower Shop
Magazine Rack
Personalization Shop
PetStore
PhotoShop
Video
Vitamin Shop

Remember When - 2004

Teen Throws Fit at Jitter Joint
March 8, 2004

There were no complaints to management of the Newman Jitter Joint on Monday when another of its childish patrons threw a major conniption fit. But there should have. Adults customers shelling out $4 a hit for a cup of acidic colored water shouldn't have to put up with the outbursts seen lately at this popular coffee shop. If the local college kids aren't threatening customers with physical harm the high school kids are making outbursts and inducing civil unrest.

The latest furor was started by a member of the hilariously ignorant pitchfork-wielding Walnut Grove Academy students. 15-year-old Lily Winters - who should have been praising the gods she doesn't have cervical cancer after contracting a sexually transmitted disease - was whining that she can't stop thinking about the man who gave her an STD.

"Every time I think about going out with another guy I think of Kevin and the disease he gave me," Winters wailed of the evil Kevin Fisher, as her the Oreo-eating pal, Sierra NoLastName pleaded for her to just stop it and did not ask, "What other guy are you thinking about since none has expressed any interest in you - or me for that matter?"

The real question should have been: how does it feel to have the sexual/spiritual IQ of a small cucumber, and what sort of sad and therapy-bound and miserable and sexually inept child are you right now raising such a ruckus, and why were your parents allowed to breed in the first place? Isn't Genoa City plagued with enough prissy sanctimonious sexless teens who wouldn't know a Hitachi Magic Wand from a hand blender?

"I feel dirty," Winters oozed, as she went on to bemoan how Fisher - the man she begged to snatch her virginity - ruined her meaningless life.

"I hate him," she squealed, blaming Fisher for everything but the world's oil shortage and on and on she went. Who knows how many other young girls Fisher has harmed? Besides her other dimwitted classmate, Colleen Carlton, why is it that not one of them has come forward? Too bad the evil Kevin didn't succeed in killing himself. That would have taught him.

Full of anger and hate Winters said Kevin scarred her for life. Indeed, if she ever meets another boy they won't be able to have sex because Fisher's ghost will be there in the bedroom, or on the sofa, or the back seat, watching. Despite her feel sorry for me fits only her creepy pals and parents have given a damn.

Prior to this latest rant it was repeatedly pointed out that Lily is a girl who begged for it. She got what she got because she wouldn't listen. How many times was she told that staying locked up in her room late at night chatting on the Internet with strangers was not smart? How many times was she told that going to Fisher's apartment was dangerous?

The hue and cry about the dangers of the Internet went out far and wide. Be very afraid of the awful Internet. Be one walking around all quivering and tremulous in a terrified city waiting to be crushed by some dark massive throbbing wall of evil at any moment. Run the public service announcements. Don't let your children become the next victims. Know what they're doing being closed doors with those computers. Write your Congress person. Say you support book burning and e-mail snooping.

People were told in no uncertain terms to feel much sadness for Lily even though she managed to put her woe on hold long enough to jet off to Japan, then to a Valentine's Day dance and later attended a Smokey Robinson concert. After all the fun Lily went back into full-fledged hatemonger mode. It was a terrible thing what that slimy Kevin did to her, but it was perfectly okay for her to reek with hate and go so far as to stalk Fisher. Given the chance Lily would have killed him.

It got so bad people began wondering whether there would be public service announcements trumpeting the righteousness of that action. The message seemed to be that if a person ruins his/her life it was okay to blame someone else and then get even with those blamed.

When Lily ran down Neil Winters she swore she'd learned her lesson then turned right around a few months later and went on the run with a fugitive from the law. When she's eventually captured who will she blame this time?

See also: Lily Winters 2004  Teens  Kevin Fisher

 
Please visit this merchant
 

Shop the GCN/Amazon Store