That there was never a reason for the doctor to perform a blood test is but a minor detail easily tossed aside and forgotten.

Factual matters notwithstanding, Baldwin asked Jenkins about her "cast" - which is really a leg brace - and was told, "My X-rays are horrific," which perhaps in her warped mind are, but in reality wouldn't have been. Other than causing Jenkins some mental anguish she was up and walking within hours no worse for wear after having a broken leg set.

And why Baldwin asked Jenkins anything will forever remain a mystery because, "It doesn't make any difference to me if you’re guilty or not," he concluded indicating his final decision to represent her would come later.

As it turned out, later was at the Genoa City Police Department where Baldwin asked detective Hank Weber what the evidence is against Jenkins. Citing strict department policy not to discuss cases with lawyers until their clients have been arrested, Weber refused to say and neither Baldwin nor Weber thought of the legal loophole which allows private detectives and lawyers to sit in on defendant interrogations in which they have a clear bias as in the recent Tricia Dennison case.

Citing an unwritten rule that lowly public servants are paid with taxpayer dollars and therefore Weber has an obligation to tell what he knows, Baldwin pressed for answers indicative of one anxious to take on a high profile case.

In a related development, former suspect Phyllis Abbott continued pushing the envelope Monday when she demanded Weber go after Jenkins and brazenly said she still fears the woman. Abbott did not mention that she continues to badger Jenkins or that Jenkins once had a restraining order against her.

Weber reiterated that the evidence against Jenkins is weak, but in good time the situation could change in which case Jenkins would be arrested. And just in case Weber needed one more tiny item to cram into his issue-saturated cerebellum, he might have wondered why Abbott is pressing the issue when anyone who just came within spitting distance of a life in prison would be off somewhere thanking their lucky stars and wanting to stay as far away as possible from anything resembling the law.

October 3, 2002

Bug opens nest to intruder
by Michael Kelly

September 16, 2002

Law office lay
by Michael Kelly

Hot on the heels of a heated confrontation with the ex-husband she's still hot for, sexually frustrated, and emotionally vulnerable legal eagle Christine "Bug" Blair deliriously decided Monday to christen the couch in her office by opening her legs for the law partner who tried to rape her almost a decade ago!

Earlier, the albino attorney and her inept investigator former husband Paul "Clueless" Williams wrestled with the wince worthy question "Where do we go from here?"

While Williams admitted he still had feelings for the alabaster insect, the emotions were like an itch he just couldn't scratch.

He has a wayward wife and a boy child to worry about. The three of them had formed a family he refused to fracture.

Undaunted, Blair regurgitated the former bordello babe's infamous misdeeds. Dizzy Izzy seduced Williams in his own home, became pregnant, and even fibbed for a time that Michael Baldwin was the big daddy.

The mentally deficient detective droned that he was aware of all that, but it doesn't mean a damn thing. He won't walk away from the sluttish spouse he half heartedly admitted he "cares for," and the child he thinks is his. Not for the Bug, not for anyone!

Like two punch drunk prize fighters, the two began arguing about which one of them had "given up" on their marriage first.

Blair believed Inspector Gadget would never have moved a client into their happy home and screwed her if he was committed to their union.

Meanwhile, Williams whined that he'd been abandoned for months and was as starved for sex and female companionship as emaciated Ethiopian children are for food.

Besides, didn't practical Paul forgive and forget Blair back in 1996 when she shagged her one hit wonder rocker ex-husband Danny Romalotti right before their wedding?

Reprimanding his former spouse for wanting what she can't have, and for treating him like dirt one moment, and mooning over him the next, the grumbling gumshoe finally had enough and left Blair's legal lair in a huff.

Little did the divorced duo know that across town, the current Mrs. Williams and co-conspirator Baldwin quarreled over the right way to keep the two apart.

Typical of her chewed up, brothel broad past, Dizzy Izzy indelicately demanded Mikey get the critter he craves in the sack post haste!

When Baldwin broached the sensible suggestion of slowly and steadily winning the romantic race with Bug, the impatient, unholy hussy harshly harped that if necessary, Mikey should use "force" to sexually conquer the crusader!

Ostentatiously and foolishly offended at the mere mention of attempting again what he thought nothing of savagely subjecting Blair to 10 years before, Baldwin blanched, and barked like a two faced Bible thumper, "You wash your mouth out with soap!"

Unrepentant roach that she is, Dizzy Izzy declared it's high time Mikey removed the high and mighty Ice Maiden from her pedestal.

But if Baldwin's not man enough for the erotic job, he should find someone who is! Anyone else. And fast!

Even if Bug had a one night stand with some slime covered slug off the street, it would be enough. Of course, Clueless would have to learn of his ex-wife's raunchy romp to be certain she had "moved on."

Out of left field, Mikey felt the need to remind Mrs. Williams not to flap her gums to the gumshoe about the fact that the barrister hired her to bust up Blair's marriage to the dolt-ish detective.

Incredibly, dumb as a doornail Dizzy Izzy had to be convinced yet again by Baldwin to keep her fat lip zipped!

Once Mikey had managed to muzzle Mrs. Williams' suddenly stupid, ill timed attack of integrity, he returned to the office.

All too aware she had just had a pow-wow with Paulie, Baldwin crept into the counselor critter's cocoon as carefully as an interloper ambling on hallowed ground.

Finding her staring out the window, Michael attempted to cease the atmosphere of eerie silence, but the Bug didn't want to gab about the investigator or anything else.

Respecting Her Majesty's privacy, Baldwin began to softly skulk away when Blair called out his name out of the blue.

Once he had obediently back-tracked like a good boy, Mikey was taken by euphoric surprise when the amorous insect sensually smacked her lips against his!

Their moronic mouths stuck together, the two trudged to the sofa with every intention of staining it with the proof of their perverse, perplexing, passion!

It's anyone's guess how secretarial slave Chantal Schnozz will react when she finds the sinful, so-called law partners she works for fornicating on the office furniture.

Will she be pissed off that her swinging employers didn't invite her in for a threesome? Or did the two twits intentionally leave the door unlocked so that Chantal could let herself in to nibble on Mikey's testicles?

Of course, it's highly unlikely that Baldwin wrapped his teeny-weeny bent penis in a reliable rubber, or that the longtime lovelorn Bug is on the birth control pill.

These filthy, fiendish fools probably won't even wash their profane paws after the one-time sexual harasser gives his former prey the old "in and out."

And pity the poor putz who must sit on the couch after the two lust crazed, copulatory creeps have sinfully soiled it.

But that's all right. All four freaks in this ridiculously rancid game of romantic roulette will eventually get what's coming to them.

The Williams marriage will meet a justifiably ferocious end when Clueless finally discovers that his wife teamed up with his worst enemy to end his previous marriage.

Making matters worse, the child for whom Mr. Williams made the ultimate sacrifice is likely not even his!

By the time the barrister's treachery comes to light, the bewildered, bedeviled Bug could find herself with his heretic bun her oven!

And by then, a thoroughly obsessed Baldwin will settle for nothing less than complete possession of her mind, body, and soul!

Perhaps then these slithering, scuzzy, irresponsibly smutty Genoa City snakes will put more thought into how, when, where, why, and with whom they share a love seat!

February 18, 2002
Can hot-shot lawyer win no-brainer case?
In his hay day Michael Baldwin was a brilliant attorney. There was even a time when Christine 'Bug' Romalotti so revered Baldwin she studied under him and went on to become one of Genoa City's most power hungry lawyers.

But something happened to Baldwin. His freaky sexual desires got in the way. Falling for the Bug, attempting to rape the critter landed his butt in prison and he hasn't been the same since. Today, Baldwin runs his own law firm, claims to have more clients that he can count but hasn't had a law case he's been able to sink his teeth into.

Unless a miracle happens Baldwin will soon have the golden opportunity to shine again when he represents the venerable Diane Jenkins.

Because Jabot Cosmetics CEO Jack Abbott has made it clear he wants full custody of Jenkins' baby, there doesn't appear to be any way out for Jenkins except go to court.

From the moment Baldwin takes the case there will be a mountain of damning evidence at his disposal. History will show that Abbott, along with his dastardly wife Phyllis, are unfit to be parents.

With some careful manipulation, Baldwin can show the court that Abbott's concern for Jenkins' child comes from Abbott's self-centered ness. Unable to produce a child with his infertile wife, Abbott only wants the Jenkins baby as a trophy.

Sired with Abbott sperm, Kyle Newman has bonded with his biological mother for over a year. To take the child away would be unconscionable. In addition, Abbott demonstrated a disregard for human life when he failed, but later had pangs of guilt, to seek help for Victor Newman when the business giant suffered a heart attack.

Abbott's wife has a record of evil doing going back as far as 1994 when she blamed the Bug for the breakup of her family. Phyllis Summers had tricked rock star Danny Romalotti into believing that her son was his and threatened to blackmail him even going so far as to ask detective Paul 'Clueless' Williams and the Bug to be her child's godparents.

Over time, Summers committed a battery of crimes including the attempted murder of the Bug and Clueless when she tried running them down with a rental car. Soon after, Sasha Green, a woman who knew all about Summers' evil doing and threatened to expose her, was found dead.

Perhaps the most compelling reason the Abbott's should not be given anything more than visitation rights is the fact they do not live in a home of their own. Abbott has always claimed the reason he's never left his father's nest is to keep an eye on his sister. But with Ashley Carlton living with her own family Abbott has no reason not to have purchased a home of his own.

The Abbott household is not conductive to the well-being of a young child. Besides the elderly John Abbott, who in his old age could easily burn the place down, a busy-body old maid resides in the home along with Abbott's teenage brother and known drug user Colleen Carlton.

The case is a no-brainer and one Baldwin should win hands down.

Brana tricked Baldwin into believing he was the father of her unborn baby and resorted to blackmail to get funds Brana said was necessary to support herself and the child.

Baldwin subsequently made payments but foolishly in cash. However, there is a written contract which should hold up in a court of law if Baldwin follows through with his threat.

February 5, 2002
He's no daddy!
An otherwise smart attorney, Michael Baldwin has sunk so low he's willing to jump into a ready-made family with a former brothel employee.

Dizzy Izzy Brana was supposed to be just a means to an end for Baldwin. He wanted to use the shady woman to help break up a marriage and that part of the plan went well. But somewhere along the way Baldwin found himself under Brana's sexual spell and had to have her - just once.

A few weeks later Baldwin discovered Brana was pregnant with what she claimed was his baby. Without question, Baldwin shelled out the big bucks when Brana blackmailed him and even went shopping with her to pick out baby toys.

The thought of having a baby of his own became so overwhelming Baldwin developed a willingness to marry the despicable woman and was in the process of telling Brana how happy it was to hear she'll be staying in Genoa City when the woman came clean. The baby isn't his!

January 8, 2002
Fearing the smearing
Local attorney Michael Baldwin says he doesn't have a choice. He's got to go along with dizzy Izzy Brana's blackmail because if that clueless detective finds out he manipulated the detective's divorce his career will be ruined.

Prior to Paul Williams' divorce the theory might have held water. Today it's a poor excuse to continue a relationship without purpose.

Any person subjected to blackmail doesn't purchase gifts for the baby of the blackmailer and that's exactly what Baldwin did Tuesday. To show her appreciation, Brana invited Baldwin to dinner. What man in his right mind would do such a thing? How can Baldwin stand to be in the same room with this despicable woman? For fear Brana's bed buddy will conduct a smear campaign against him?

Baldwin should cut off further funding of Brana's lifestyle, tell her and Williams to go for it and let the smear begin. The moment Brana's kid pops out demand a paternity test and go to the cops if she refuses.

Once the truth surfaces Baldwin can put these contemptible people behind him. To avoid future problems of the ugly kind Baldwin should take a pledge that as a single man there shall be no sex with women without a condom.