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Brittany Hodges

October 31, 2002

Shacking up in purgatory
by Brent Kellogg

Drunken driver and one time shoplifting fanatic Brittany Hodges was horrified to learn Thursday that in addition to her credit cards being cancelled, access to her parent's checking account had been blocked too. Convinced that her mother took the action out of some sick aversion to her dark skinned boyfriend, Hodges called Anita Hodges a "witch" and stormed off to huddle with Raul Guittierez.

After listening to Brittany place the blame and all but threaten to purchase a small semiautomatic weapon to teach those good for nothing parents a lesson, the diabetic boy groveled his support for the girl he loves more than the rubber sheet on his mattress.

Celebrating, they were, the death of one season and the birth of another. In all her misery, Brittany had snatched a newspaper and scoured through the want-ads. Of a the gin joints and flea-infested roach motels available for rent in Genoa City she had picked out the very roach crawling apartment once subleased by the evil Matt Clark and ex-con turned hero turned love slave, Larry Warton.

What were the odds that the barrier separating the two worlds between good and evil could be breached by a dejected rich girl on the skids? What if habitation in the landfill resurrected the ghost of the deceased evil-doer Clark and he came back from wandering in the woods to request Brittany's help in passing to the next life where Tricia Dennison's mind is thought to be? Satan's loved ones can't rot in those padded jail cells forever!

The concern of evil scowling spirits was one that Raul took to heart. No girl of his should live in Satan's den alone.

And thus a pact was made. The two struggling college students would move in together and share the expenses until school began maybe sometime in 2010. In the meantime they'd play house and have such fun. If Ryan McNeil and Victoria Newman could do it - they could too.

October 30, 2002

No suitable punishment for drunk driver
by Brent Kellogg

For grassroots social justice activists there was never any doubt about the guilt of spoiled brat Brittany Hodges. The eighteen going on 2-year-old foolishly drank and then drove resulting in a car crash which nearly crippled her boyfriend and passenger.

As her overweening parents frantically worked behind the scenes pulling strings to get the lightest sentence possible, Hodges voluntarily went to the Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle homeless shelter to donate her time. It was hoped, that by showing her concern for the underprivileged, the judge would go easy.

And apparently that's exactly what happened.

In fact, Hodges didn't have to appear before the judge. Like one of those after midnight behind closed doors backroom deals politicians make to impose higher taxes, the judge passed sentence which, other than the community service slap on the wrist, remains sealed. There was no mention of a suspended license either.

Yeah baby, community service will teach those drunks. And when they kill somebody only then will a real three year suspended sentence be imposed. And when they kill again, well hell, throw the book at 'em with one of those five year suspended sentences.

From the outset Hodges took the ruling as a joke. Caught at the shelter Wednesday swapping spit with her boyfriend, the manager was outraged. No fooling around! Working at the shelter is no joke! The manager was being "strict" in this special case because Ms. Hodges had a "serious" charge lodged against her. Mess up and the judge will hear about it.

And the judge won't be hearing about it through Hodges' probation officer but rather from the shelter manager himself because Hodges doesn't have a probation officer!

Outrage is not a strong enough word to describe this travesty of justice. As the quickly forgotten ENRON case proves the prominent are allowed to break the law without penalty.

In the Hodges case there was no begging for mercy. No plea of taking full responsibility for her deadly actions. No sob story of how her life had been devastating her at the time of the crime. No apologies. No going before the judge to say, "As you know my parents are leaders in the community and I just somehow want to get this behind me."

In a veiled attempt to show she's grown a backbone and needs to start acting like a parent, Anita Hodges lifted a finger to discipline her daughter where the judge didn't by cutting up her credit cards. That'll teach her. Can't be too hard on the girl. She might go on a shooting spree.

October 21, 2002

Above the law
by Lois Hill

Just when the image of drunken driver Brittany Hodges sitting in a cell in a orange jumpsuit was looking good it appears every trick in the book will be used to get her off the hook without so much as a slap on the wrist!

Hodges' rich parents, Thursten and Lovey, have been working feverishly on a plan to make their daughter look good in the eyes of the judge who was scheduled to hear the case this week. A form of bribery, the Hodges surmise that the judge will be impressed if it can be shown that their daughter is a pillar of the community. To that end they've arranged to have Ms. Hodges employed as a teller at the mid-town branch of Hodges Savings & Loan.

In their conniving minds, the Hodges equate working at a bank with community service. Displaying little tact, they blame their daughter's recent car wreck and subsequent DUI charge on the son of lowly migrant farm workers. Surely, when the judge hears what a giving angel their child is, charges against her will be dropped.

Sneaky, untrustworthy, greedy and corrupt the Hodges are typical of the affluent who consider themselves above the law. They assume correctly that the judges in Genoa City are so stupid not a single one will bother to look at the date Ms. Puberty became so involved with her community.

There's no reason the Hodges shouldn't expect preferential treatment since their daughter's license has yet to be suspended.

In the State of Wisconsin, persons arrested on DUI charges receive from the police a "Notice of Intent to Suspend," even if they submit, as Hodges did, to a police breath or blood test. If Hodges doesn't demand (she didn't) a hearing by filing the correct demand paper in the correct place and do it within ten days her license can be revoked even if she pleads not guilty in court.

That Ms. Puberty is still wheeling around town in a new car goes to show what a joke the law, and those who enforce it, is in this city.

Brittany Hodges will walk away from her run-in with the law because a first offense drunk driving case is classified as a "civil forfeiture." It is not a crime because it does not carry a possible jail sentence. Usually, second, third, and fourth offense violations are criminal misdemeanor offenses. Fifth offense violations are felonies.

So why Thursten and Lovey and their darling daughter are sweating the small stuff makes absolutely no sense. At most the fine can be no more than $650 and a suspended license for up to nine months. The Hodges hope that by impressing the judge all charges will be dropped. But unless the justice system in Genoa City is totally corrupt that can't happen.

Hodges' breathalyzer test was over the limit. She was driving drunk and caused physical injury to another. Hodges should take her lumps and move on.

But no!

Hodges announced Monday that she's volunteered to work at the local homeless shelter. Helping the destitute will go over big time with the judge.

Again, here are the spoiled well to do getting their hands dirty. Not because giving back to the community is the moral thing to do but because it will contribute to their own private enrichment.

October 16, 2002

Let us pray
by Brent Kellogg

Praying in time of tragedy. It's so noble, isn't it?

With all that's going wrong in Genoa City these days it's a miracle that the players haven't all spontaneously linked hands and recited "The Lord's Prayer."

Promiscuous drunken driver and shoplifter Brittany Hodges is the latest hypocrite to sight the power of prayer. She revealed this week that when it wasn't looking good for boyfriend and lover Raul Guittierez and that he might not survive the car crash she got him into, she turned to God.

Looking back on the uncertainty she asked Guittierez, "Do you believe in God?"

Guittierez was quick to say, "Yeah, sure I do."

Doesn't everyone?

Not in Genoa City.

People here turn to God only as a last resort. When money and power and influence doesn't get them what they want the people in turmoil pray. When their prayers are answered they almost always marvel at the result.

"I haven’t thought much about religion," Hodges confessed only moments after crowing how her parents insurance company declared her car a total loss and issued a check in such a staggering amount she'll be able to purchase a new one. Policy holders can do their own praying that rates won't go up due in part to Hodges' irresponsibility.

"I prayed so hard in the hospital chapel," Hodges added.

Those who got past the 7th grade will have already spotted the flaw in her thinking. With one prayer answered under her belt, Hodges will not pray again until the next catastrophe.

Frankly, faith has little to do with it. If the issue were only prayer, there could be no argument, because there's nothing anybody can do, no law any legislator can write, that can stop a person from praying.

Never mind that Christ himself said, "When you pray, go into your room, close the door."

The problem with obeying that injunction is that nobody gets to see how pious Hodges and those like her are.

More to the point, where's the grass-roots Christian campaign to open shelters for homeless families? Where are the righteous rich leading the crusade to take hot meals and happiness to people with AIDS? Where's the pugnacious attitude when it comes time to push people to volunteer in rest homes or clean up a back alley? Taking a few turkeys to the homeless shelter at Thanksgiving and Christmas and donating an alarm system to a shelter which leaves it's doors open doesn't cut it.

We're still waiting for a movement among the rich in Genoa City to do as Christ did ... set an example of sacrifice, selflessness, service.

Apparently, they have no time for stuff like that. Instead, they're content to hear "The Lord's Prayer" spoken through tinny speakers at some hospital chapel.

You think they'll ever realize how silly that is? We can only pray.

September 26, 2002

Brain dead judge oversees 3-ring circus!
by Molly Media

There is a bedrock principle in this country that people are governed by laws and a legal process. In Genoa City however, the rule of law is driven by the impulses of individuals in power.

Judge Brain Dead Brainard and the monkey representing the prosecutors office in this city were bouncing off the walls in the judges' chamber driving home that point Thursday.

While the judge and District Attorney Carol Chen groped themselves, Fred and Anita Hodges looked on as their attorney rambled on in an apparent state of perpetual annoyance. All of the participants in what would become the long, drawn out Brittany Hodges DUI hearing seemed oblivious that there was absolutely no reason for their having to meet with a judge.

Attorney Harlan Whitney sputtered that because his client would be going to college in another state the matter of her DUI case should be resolved. It was a true statement.

And it is also true that the DA and Whitney could have worked out a plea agreement amongst themselves and saved everyone a lot of time and hassle. Barring a deal, any problem with proceeding to court could have been resolved within the DA's office too.

Chen reported to the judge that the police officer who wrote the accident report is on a month long vacation and wouldn't be back on duty until late October. Incredibly, Judge Brain Dead didn't order the officer be summoned. Even more bizarre, it was stated that because Hodges' blood alcohol level was so high and because additional testimony was needed from undisclosed sources, the case could not go forward.

Having heard the shady details, the judge ruled that a hearing would be scheduled for October 21 and then, remarkably, told Mrs. Hodges she should be thankful her daughter is alive and that Brittany Hodges could be satisfied with starting college next semester.

Somewhat upset that things didn't go her way, Mrs. Hodges chanted that her drunken daughter had her seat belt on when she crashed her Japanese built sports car and that because Raul Guittierez didn't have a seat belt on that he, Guittierez, was somehow at fault.

A group of chimpanzees could have made much more sense out of the 3-ring-circus that passed for a justice system today in Genoa City.

September 20, 2002

Pity the powerless
by Lois Hill

The consistent worry exhibited by Fred and Anita Hodges over the legal obligations surrounding their daughter's recent car wreck in which a passenger sustained minor injuries is profoundly disturbing.

Their lives in suspended animation, the Hodges received the good news Friday that Raul Guittierez will not be paralyzed and for all intents and purposes they are off the legal hook. While Mrs. Hodges was confident that "we are going to get past this" Fred Hodges isn't convinced.

Brittany Hodges, the driver of the vehicle was charged on August 21 with DUI, booked and released on a $25,000 bond. Since that time there has been no arraignment, no court date set, nothing.

The parents have been wandering around Genoa City for nearly a month thinking about what message their daughter was trying to send them and questioning their life style. Are they bigots? Are they racists? Will the Guittierez family sue them?

The answer to the later question is; Let them try.

Because Raul Guittierez contributed to his own negligence when he voluntarily got into a vehicle being driven by a person he knew was bombed out of her mind on booze, it is unlikely a judge or jury would award the boy or his parents a dime. As for the medical bills, Hodges car insurance will pay including up to 30-thousand dollars in personal injury claims.

For the Hodges to sit around throwing a pity party for themselves is much do-do about nothing.

As for the bigotry - so what? This is America. The land of the free, home of the racists. Mrs. Hodges has the right idea. Get her daughter off to college and away from trailer park trash like Guittierez.

Mr. Hodges, however, appears to be in some fantasy land. "That tuition is an expensive way to go husband hunting," he quipped as if to say an 18-year-old girl entering her first year of college would, matter of factly, be thinking about getting married.

And what of the tuition? His daughter has refused to enter college so why pay the tuition? By the time the skank gets around to going to college there will be no available classes. Overcrowded colleges turned away students who applied at the last minute away in droves and those who failed to show up for their first week of classes were subjected to dismissal.

Grow a pair Mr. Hodges. If your daughter won't go to college let her rot. Cut her off. When she finally gets her head out of the sand and comes begging for money point her to the nearest McDonalds and tell her to get a job, save her money and pay her own tuition.

Yes, it's too much to expect from the rich, upper class types like the Hodges who see the poor as so much wasted raw material. But it might teach their kids some respect for power. Something Brittany Hodges seems intent on throwing away.

August 21, 2002

DUI charge meaningless for rich kid
by Brent Kellogg

During the great Chancellor mausoleum jewel heist when glowworm Billy Abbott was pondering going on the run there was a big to-do over what would happen if the public found out young Abbott may have been profiled on America's Most Wanted for boinking Ralph Hunnicutt over the head with a fire place poker.

Old man Yawn Abbott was in a tizzy. The bad PR could ruin Jabot Cosmetics. Heaven forbid his pure as Caesar's wife son was mixed up in some scandal.

So why didn't it matter when Brittany Hodges was arrested for drunk driving? That a Glowworm was arrested should have been a front-page scandal.

Where was the breaking news? Where was Leanna Love? The local TV stations break into programming at the drop of a hat to cover the local gossip so why wouldn't a drunken teen and victim clinging to life story not get coverage? If not TV then surely it should have been on all the radio stations.

Hodges' parents could have paid somebody off the squash the story but even Fred and Anita didn't know until their prissy daughter had spent the night in the gulag.

Is there a skull and crossbones cover-up going on? Has somebody's pathological zeal for secrecy been put in place? And when is Ms. Hodges arraignment? DUI charges are easy to fight and those with money can usually buy themselves out of a stiff fine and a couple of meaningless points on their drivers license.

Watch this one closely as the skank skates away unscathed.

August 19, 2002

Teen arrested for DUI
by Brent Kellogg

Genoa City Police were to be praised for the swift action the department took Monday putting Brittany Hodges in jail after the teenager was involved in a motor vehicle accident. That the officers allowed the drunken driver to leave the scene was but a small quibble.

The wreck left Hodges slightly shaken but her passenger, Raul Guittierez, was reported in critical condition at the Center 4 Disease, Genoa City's only trauma facility. Fortunately, Dr. Olivia Winters was not on duty thus increasing Guittierez's chance for survival.

Like most drunken drivers, Hodges went immediately into denial when police demanded she take a breathalyzer test.

"I only had a glass of wine," she complained without volunteering the glass was the size of Texas.

Summoned to be a witness to the aftermath of her dastardly deed, Hodges pleaded with college bound school pal Mackenzie Browning to "tell them [cops] I’m not drunk."

Hodges' demand fell on deaf ears and was laughable as it was imagined how such a conversation might have been.

"Officer, my name is Mac Browning. You may have heard of me? The runaway and granddaughter of the rich Katherine Sterling who owns half this hospital? This girl here is my friend and if I say she isn't drunk - she isn't drunk."

Officers determined Hodges' was drunk. "Your breathalyzer test was over the adult limit," one said causing some bystanders to wonder if there is child limit and since the police had looked at Hodges' drivers license would have known she turned 18 last year.

Beyond the nitpicking, the cops charged Hodges initially with drunken driving, placed her under arrest and hauled her to the city jail.

The arrest was admirable. But sadly Hodges will be free on bail before the ink dries on her mug shot. With rich parents she can fall back on she'll easily post bond. And unless the victim of her reckless act dies the worst Hodges is facing are a few points on her driving record and possibly a fine.

"She's just a young girl trying to get herself together, and this is just an unfortunate situation," her parents will say. "She's a good kid. She's really trying to find herself."

If Fred and Anita Hodges are up on the rules of the drunk driving game they'll immediately file suit against the Lodge Restaurant & Brothel for serving their daughter and allowing her to drive.

Severely injured, Guittierez can claim no memory of the accident nor of any event in the week before it, file suit against Hodges and walk away with as much as $300,000 in damages.

It's the American way. Blame someone else.

August 21, 2002

Car crash victim condition unchanged
Told there would be a progress report "in the morning" medical quacks at the Center 4 Disease had nothing to report Wednesday morning on the condition of car crash victim Raul Guittierez. In a related development, bail was posted for and drunken driver Brittany Hodges was released from jail.

Drunk driver bail set
Charged with driving under the influence Brittany Hodges bail was set at $25,000 Tuesday. Unable to post the minimum $2,500 Hodges will remain a guest at the local police cellblock. A passenger in the vehicle Hodges crashed, Raul Guittierez remains in critical condition at the Center 4 Disease. C4D quacks in charge of the case suspect the diabetic suffered "a compression fracture of his spine" but said they won't know for sure until Wednesday.

August 16, 2002

Drunk teens involved in car wreck!
by Lois Hill

Relishing in a room above the Lodge restaurant Friday, teenagers Raul Guittierez and Brittany Hodges poured alcohol down their throats and rehashed the aftermath of a meeting they had earlier with Anita and Fred Hodges.

Upset over the self-imposed implication that her parents are racist, Hodges pushed Guittierez away when he tried to get into her pants. The couple came to the conclusion that they come from two different worlds when Hodges lamented that her snobbish parents were obviously distressed that she had brought a guy "from Cuba" to dinner.

The naive Guittierez recalled that he should have known better than to have begun dating "a country club princess" but since they had already had sex in the very semen stained they were lounging in Hodges should just accept it.

Hodges snapped that nobody tells a princess what to do and launched into a trashing tirade directed toward her parents. Hearing Hodges call her mother a "bitch" and charging her father with loving his dog more than he did his daughter, was more than Guittierez could handle. Pleading with his girl to calm down he spilled wine on her dress in the process.

In a panic, Guittierez went off to get a wet rag. When he returned seconds later Hodges was gone.

Rushing into the parking lot Guittierez couldn't miss Hodges' red sports car with GLOW GR on the license plates. After some bickering the tipsy teens were together again in the front seat. Punching the gas pedal, the car flew off with Hodges behind the wheel only to crash seconds later.

The extent of injuries was not immediately known but it's a good bet somebody will be spending the next few days as a patient at the Center 4 Disease.

The death of Brittany Hodges would be the appropriate penalty for the irresponsible young woman's action. There is no excuse for getting behind the wheel under the influence.

Some hearts may go out to this impetuous teenager. You know, if you have teens yourself, how easily you could be them. That is, you know how much of your time is spent delivering admonitions to ears deafened by the siren call of urgency and the illusion of invincibility. You know all the sober discussions you have with them about places they shouldn't go and dangerous things they shouldn't try, about driving fast, using drugs, the consequences of sexual activity. And you hope they've heard you, but you're pretty sure they have not.

For not listening there is a price to be paid.

June 26, 2002

Teens partake in lake submarine races
Lake Genoa - According to the reports it was quite funny and sad at the same time when two Genoa City high school students were seen at Lake Genoa Wednesday trying to perform a sex act inside a sleeping bag.

The female, identified as Walnut Grove Academy student Brittany Hodges, seemed to panic when the male, diabetic Raul Guittierez, appeared to be taking what would be his first time in the sack with a girl very seriously.

Used to gang bang style sex, Hodges hoped that after a few humps Guittierez would be spent, she could carve another notch in her skank holster and be on her way. She didn't plan on having to play with little Raul to make it happen.

Unable to get the blood flowing, Guittierez remembered that before real men engage in sex they most always eat. A full stomach later, Guittierez and Hodges tried again. Without a single word about who, if anyone, would be responsible for birth control, Hodges was seen guiding Guittierez into her love nest.

May 23, 2002

Born again virgin
by Michael Kelly

Despite the fact that her sexually promiscuous reputation precedes her, Walnut Grove Academy student Brittany Hodges blew her top here on Thursday when she assumed her virgin boyfriend Raul Guittierez was only using her to try to get laid.

The fiery argument took place inside WGA, where the two were surrounded by empty study carrels and unused computers. Not surprisingly, not a single underachieving student within the educationally anemic institution walked in to use a computer or hit the books. None of its teachers entered to tell the two to shut their filthy yaps and get their lazy asses to class.

The night before, Hodges refused Raul's invitation to Tainted Town Lake because she thought he only wanted "S-E-X."

"Go ahead, Romeo. Tell me you weren't thinking of jumping my bones that night. I dare you," Hodges hissed.

Guittierez denied the charge and grabbed Britt by the arm when she tried to walk away. He wasn't going to let Hodges call him a horny pig and then walk away.

Raul admitted that he'd fantasized about humping the reformed teen mattress. After all, he's not her brother. Guittierez is a young Turk with red blood coursing through his veins. However, he was quite content to simply spend time with her.

At that point, the schizoid Hodges sulked because he didn't want to screw her brains out right away.

Insecure, Britt the twit sulked, "Is there something wrong with me? Don't I turn you on?"

Realizing that he can't win, Raul pointed out that she's the one with "hang-ups" about sex. Not him. As he walked away, Hodges' puny brain tried to make sense of what Guittierez said.

Talk about mixed messages! The former teen tart needs to make up her mind. Does she want the untested and untouched diabetic "in every way" or not?

How ironic that Britt used to "get it on" with a fleet of young studs who meant nothing to her, but now feels compelled to keep her legs glued shut now that she's found a guy she gives a hoot about. Fellow student and former bedmate J.T. Hellstrom has already mentioned this to her.

Could Hodges finally be ashamed of her slutty past? If so, it's about time. The reports of her sexual escapades have become the stuff of legend.

One particularly raunchy rumored encounter took place after WGA's men's football team won the state championship last year. Apparently, Britt wanted to throw a private pep rally for the guys in their locker room to celebrate the victory. Though the story may be hard for skeptics to swallow, the evening apparently ended with Hodges being rushed to the Center 4 Disease by ambulance to get her stomach pumped.

While it's admirable of her to want to turn over a new leaf, Brittany needs to realize that she can't turn back the clock. There's no such thing as a born again virgin. Her scandalous behavior and soiled reputation is a negative example for other young women to learn from.

Monday, 12.17.01
Dirty rotten thief
When Brittany Hodges was born an evil was born too. The evil methodically convinced Hodges over time that it was perfectly okay to become part of one the most selfish breeds known to man, the lowly, disgusting shoplifter!

Now a teenager, Hodges has the art of shoplifting down pat and is quite proud of her accomplishments. While on a shopping spree at the Genoa City mall Monday, Hodges purchased a boat load of goodies. She paid for most everything except a sweater she picked out for the mother of the boy she has on again off again sexual feelings for.

"I didn't see you pay for it," diabetic Raul Guittierez told Hodges when presented the sweater without stopping to think it was a wonder Hodges knew what size sweater to steal. "Well, I didn't. I do this all the time. Gives me a thrill," Hodges replied.

Yes, Hodges steals for the thrill of it. She thinks, that because she hasn't been caught, she can get away with it. It's her little way of acting out. She wants attention. Her young life is stressful. Due to problems at home, at school and with the few friends she has, Hodges steals as a cry for help, but nobody is listening because there is no excuse for being a dirty rotten thief.

What Hodges needs is a good spanking. Whomever whacks her sorry butt should tell her that shoplifting is a crime and that theft loss forces businesses to raise prices for other consumers.

Wednesday, 12.26.01
Message in the madness?
"It gives me a thrill," says local Genoa City skank Brittany Hodges of the revelation she's been a thief for most of her short life. Indeed, Hodges is a shoplifter and proud to be part of a group almost as deplorable as terrorists.

Many of these money-sucking thieves have been busy this holiday season. Security cameras at Fenmore's Department Stores show them stuffing video games under their shirts and underwear down their pants while others walk away from the fine jewelry counter without paying.

The five-fingered discount is always available at Fenmore's where roughly two kinds of shoplifting prevail throughout the year. Shoplifting by professional gangs represents a minority of offenders, but a disproportionate amount of financial damage. The more common type is the impulse shoplifter like Hodges. Motivated not by need but by anger.

Shoplifting is not about financial problems. It is about getting something for nothing. Many people do it as a substitute for loss: the loss of health, a loved one, a job, or a stock market loss. It is a kind of payback. Impulse shoplifting has been linked to such psychological factors as stress and depression.

But what loss has Hodges suffered? Other than having her sexual needs rejected recently by a couple of wet behind the ears teenaged wannabe studs, there is no apparent motive for Hodges' behavior.

As Hodges approaches her inevitable first time arrest, what will be the message for her madness? That a one-time conviction means nothing? A $25 fine, a slap on the wrist and then what? A second arrest resulting in community service time at a local homeless shelter after which Hodges learns the error of her ways?

If Hodges has been a thief longer than she's been a skank, a couple of arrests won't stop her. She'll need to do some hard time. But with an inept justice system in this city, no punishment is expected. Far more serious crime goes unpunished and much crime, like breaking into sperm labs, are never prosecuted.

 

   


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