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See also: Bug
Mary Williams
Paul Williams
Christine 'Bug' Blair
November 5, 2002
Fornicators remorse
by Brent
Kellogg
The urge, like
reaching for the barf-bags when something absolutely stupid and dumb and beyond belief is
said or done in Genoa City, is to ask if it can get much dumber. The answer is always yes
so the urge, like wanting to throw up or having a bowel movement, must be put off.
The greatest hype since who shot Victor Newman came and passed Tuesday into the anal of
history like a bad, bean scented fart. The only thing missing in what was supposed to be a
dramatic intrigue filled event was Barry Manilow singing "We Made it Through the
Rain."
As a storm raged outside the apartment of a vulnerable and confused Christine 'Bug' Blair
there was a knock at the door. With eyeball rolling back and forth over the peep hole the
critter focused on her impatient former husband demanding to be let in just to talk.
It had been only moments ago that detective Paul 'Williams' had broken out in a fit of
rage and attacked the Bug's betrothed at what was supposed to have been a holy day. And
knowing that Clueless wanted to continue trashing Michael Baldwin the Bug opened the door
after telling him to leave and Clueless said he wouldn't leave so the Bug let him in
anyway because calling security or the police would have been too logical and the divine
funky bliss that followed would never have happened.
For the umpteenth time Clueless needed to know how the Bug could be attracted to Baldwin
after the horrible things he had done and screwing another woman on the sofa of their
apartment while she watched didn't count.
And the Bug had the most carefully thought out reasoning for allowing a "scum"
to touch her.
"I believe in giving people another chance," the critter oozed and Adolf Hitler
rolled in his grave wishing if only the Bug had been President of the USA all his hopes
and dreams for world domination could have become reality and the Bug could have been his
dominatrix.
Baldwin worked hard to change and just because he almost raped the Bug and at least scared
the crap out of her and she had to be wired up and got that Romalotti rocker to help nail
the creep for sexual harassment and who knows what he really did to that Rebecca chick
Baldwin deserves a second chance.
"I love him for it," said the Bug totally confusing Clueless who still hadn't
figured out why she kissed him at the holy baptism reception unless it was secret code.
Was the Bug sending subliminal messages that deep down she wants a real man?
Holy flattery! That was it.
It was as though the Bug could have pushed right through Clueless. Just stick a finger
into that pale doughy sedulous flesh and feel nothing but dust and lint and maybe some
shards of broken glass, thus making the Bug wonder how dizzy Izzy managed to remain
animate and upright at all, and then, oh yes, that's right, devil dogs.
Clueless knew what the Bug wanted and forcefully planted his lips over hers and got the
expected this is wrong and we shouldn't do this because it's so ugly and my mind says no
but my vagina says yes and I'll kiss you too and oh, no, we can't because Christ wouldn't
approve and you better leave but I know you won't so I'll just wait here in the bedroom.
It had to be the erection. What else would have turned a sane man on after being told to
leave multiple times and generally rejected?
Bursting into the Bug's love nest where who's to say she hadn't had sex with Baldwin and
the stains are still on the sheets, Clueless ripped off his shirt. "This is what you
want," he said in some eluded logic that thick hair on the chest makes the man.
There was no cry of rape. No further outburst that what they were doing was wrong because
it felt so right until the moment it began feeling like melted peppermint patties.
There was the pitiful attempt to make what they did a case of fornicators remorse.
Looking like a wounded bird with a broken wing that will never fly again the Bug curled up
in the fetal position as Clueless pulled on his dress, said he was sorry for acting like
Mr. Sex Offender Pervert Guy and with a tear in his eye took off to maybe find a tasty
5-year-old to validate his toadyish creepy existence.
October
29, 2002
Bug agrees to marry muckraker
by Brent
Kellogg
The only thing
worse than living with the man who tried to rape you is agreeing to marry that man. The
dastardly deed ranks right up there with the live dissection of a pet guinea pig or the
mass genocide of little kittens.
Lawyer and noted detriment to all that is beautiful and good, Christine 'Bug' Blair gave
her positive answer to law firm partner Michael Baldwin Tuesday during a brief and
lackluster ceremony at the Newman family coffee house by day club for all ages by night as
her former husband sat mere inches away.
The spectacle, adorned by the swapping of spit between the soon to be newlyweds, induced a
rampant nausea and savage karmic pain in Paul 'Clueless' Williams who was apparently so
stunned by the bodily fluid exchange he was unable to hear the Bug say that she would
marry the man who at one time would have killed her - and is suspected of killing another
woman - if he hadn't been caught.
Whatever will that crazy Bug think of next, hmm? Her decision to marry Baldwin marks a
turning point in her personal journey. What is it that feeds and sustains the little
snail-like soul-sucking things that live in the Bug's brain and control her every move?
From Jabot model to Sears law school educated lawyer to crusader for the poor and
downtrodden to law partner with the town rapist. It's a career made in hell and one that
causes an overwhelming urge to run far, far away and go get completely drunk.
Horrifying the gods of love and decency no wedding date was set. Wedding goers will have
to wait to learn if free massive doses of Zoloft and Valium and amyl nitrate will be given
at the church door for unwitting audience members in an effort to prevent spontaneous
suicides and/or diarrhea.
October
15, 2002
Real and enduring threat!
by Lois
Hill
Oh puke!
What is wrong with that creepy, slimy Bug? She should be tossed into a slave-labor camp
for lugging around a photograph of herself with that clueless private eye. How many times
has the Bug said she's moved on? That she's putting the past behind her? That her former
husband should forget about her and concentrate on his new family?
Too many to be sure. But here the Bug was Tuesday gawking at a photo of her hunka hunka
burning love and thinking about the time she caught dizzy Izzy loving him tender on their
community property in their jointly owned condominium.
And what better way to forget about the past then move back to where it all began?
Accompanied by the man who terrorized her and who has presumed that he gets to move where
she moves, the Bug and Michael Baldwin were unpacking nick knacks and paddy whacks and
non-perishable food before the Bug was to leave on an extended business trip.
Promising to prepare crawfish upon the Bug's return, Baldwin slipped a diamond ring under
her nose and asked for her claw in marriage.
There was no immediate reply from the crusader and one can only hope that when one is
forthcoming it'll be an emphatic no. Not because the Bug hasn't known the "new"
Baldwin for more than a few days but because he's evil.
Baldwin would have sex with a dead body if he though he could get away with it.
The Bug needs to be wary that she is not just pursuing the latest fashion in monsters.
Every day she spends with Baldwin only makes her love for Nazi's more apparent. The Bug
should take a deep breath and come to her senses. Baldwin is a threat that is real and
enduring.
October
16, 2002
Bug postpones proposal
Rushed to catch a
flight out of town, Christine 'Bug' Blair has put off giving attorney Michael Baldwin an
answer to his marriage proposal promising a decision upon her return. The Bug's
decisiveness could be a blessing in disguise as a rash decision could result in the Bug
finding herself married to a killer.
In a related
development, Clueless detective & Alarm Company office manager Lynne 'Yes-Boss'
Bassett has hatched what appears to be a plan to rifle through Baldwin's office files. In
search of information about dizzy Izzy Williams' past, Bassett may inadvertently discover
that in 1993 Baldwin killed a woman known as Rebecca.
September 30,
2002
Bug pregnant with devil child?
by Michael
Kelly
When Y&R's
head hack John F. Smith announced that albino attorney Christine "Bug" Blair
would be given a "provocative" and "exciting" send-off the first week
of November that "would not be expected in a million years" to accommodate the
second maternity leave of actress Lauralee Bell, eyeballs here at GCN rolled out of sheer
annoyance.
After all, how often has Smith and his "play-wrong" peer Kay AllDone, graduates
of the P.T. Barnum School Of Overblown Hype, used words like "shocking" and
"explosive" to describe dismally bland and predictable future story lines?
But then this reporter and countless other Y&R observers shuddered in horror.
Could AllDone and Smith have hatched a preposterously perverse pregnancy plot for Bug as a
result of her lewd law office lay with partner and former prey Michael Baldwin?
Keep in mind, this is just a question. Or perhaps a hypothesis. It is not fact. Nothing
would make me happier than to be way off base about Blair having Baldwin's bun in her
oven.
But since their screw was astoundingly unsafe and pitifully unprotected, it's not at all
ludicrous to ponder the possibility of yet another unplanned pregnancy in Genoa City.
The idea of starchy, staunchly sanctimonious and self righteously smug Bug the slug
finding herself in such an indelicate condition as a result of sex with a man who once
sexually harassed and attempted to assault her is as repulsive as it is uncharacteristic.
Is this the same woman who, as a socially conscious, squeaky clean teen, spear-headed a
futile but impassioned campaign to eradicate teen pregnancy?
While there's nothing wrong with an economically self sufficient mature, unmarried woman
pulling a Murphy Brown, the same dame shouldn't lecture others about their moral
imperfections.
If the crusading critter were to find herself knocked up as a result of being sexually
sprayed by the demonic Baldwin's "special sauce", she'll label herself
irrevocably and eternally as a psychologically unstable Nazi lover, a moron, and worst of
all - a hypocrite.
No doubt Blair would be flown for the proverbial loop if she were to make such a
discovery.
She'll likely start bawling and babble, "How did this happen?" before taking off
for parts unknown.
It's highly unlikely the alabaster insect would wish to bare her bloated belly for the
cover of Vanity Fair under such insidiously sick circumstances.
No one will hear the conflicted critter proclaim, "My womb is a utopian paradise and
it feels glorious to be a woman contributing to the continuation of the human race!"
Of course, big daddy Baldwin will be tickled pink and immediately begin passing out
cigars.
Clueless Williams, the ex-husband Bug still itches for, would likely be revolted by such
an unblessed event. Any hope the legal eagle had regarding a reconciliation with the
incompetent investigator will go up in smoke.
But that's what happens when you take leave of your senses. Blair should keep in mind that
retarded women were once routinely sterilized to prevent pregnancy.
Perhaps the sexual harassment and near rape she accused Baldwin of perpetrating was
actually something of a twisted turn the warped winged one was then unable to acknowledge.
Perhaps this contemptible, two-faced creature will enjoy the massive bouts of morning
sickness, swollen feet, and varicose veins that would result if the pregnancy became a
reality.
Should the resulting child of shame have horns, levitate above his crib, and go by the
name Damien, it would be completely appropriate.
September
17, 2002
Banging the fornication drums
by Brent
Kellogg
Right on cue,
the law offices of Baldwin & Williams were awash in sexy music and clothing was
scattered about Monday as Michael Baldwin and Christine 'Bug' Blair banged the fornication
drums and then slipped into slumber land.
Awakening from the nightmare, the Bug developed a temporary case of shame as she surmised
the office secretary must still be out picking up office supplies from Office Depot.
Baldwin clarified the Bug's fear noting that a client could walk in at any moment and
catch them prancing around in sexual frenzy.
"They’ll realize lawyers are human. We’re only doing what everyone else
does," the slimy creature spewed waving off any humiliation their unsuspecting
clients might confront.
The Bug's presumption that everyone has sex at the office was nothing less than the
babbling of a soulfully inscrutable, verifiable ignorance junkie.
Her sex pot still dripping, the Bug needed to know what Baldwin thought of her sexual
prowess. All he could say was that it was "wonderful" but feeling the pressure,
added that it was "beautiful" and then not wanting to make the critter feel bad
for having screwed the man who once tried to rape her, tacked on the words "you're
beautiful."
Howling into a vacuum, the Bug made it clear that the unscrupulous act she had just
committed was, "As unexpected as seeing kangaroos on a country road in
Australia."
The metaphor was no less mindless as the second one the Bug uttered. "Or cockatoos
perched all over a tree."
Cockatoo droppings all over the Bug's face was more like it.
Her
secretary popped through the unlocked door, looked at the disgusting couple, dropped off a
file and quickly left suppressing an urge to shout begone thou vile reeking barghests,
back to the fiery depths of murky Hell from whence thou spawned.
Noting the embarrassment on his employee's face, Baldwin quipped, "Chantal won’t
ever be the same again."
The worst sort of collective cultural eczema was exacerbated when the Bug rationalized
their sex-drunk egomaniacal behavior. "We’re all adults here. She’ll get
over it."
With that bizarre mindset why did Baldwin and Blair bother putting their clothing back on?
If everyone is "adult" and everyone has sex at the office, why not work in the
nude? Why not slither out and show the secretary and any waiting clients their private
parts?
Those getting an eyeful might tolerate the outrage and gut-wrenching grief without going
nuts if only the Bug and Baldwin had bothered to take a shower. If he used a condom, did
Baldwin toss it into the trash can? If he didn't use one how could the Bug stand having
all that "stuff" ebbing and flowing inside the black box?
It's bad enough that the Bug sunk to Nazi-lover status when she screwed Baldwin. Had she
done it in the privacy of his or her home it might have been more palpable. But to flaunt
and applaud their ghastly act of sex was despicable.
September 16,
2002
Run by demons!
by Brent
Kellogg
GCNews readers know by now that Christine 'Bug' Blair and Michael Baldwin will have sex
this week in the office on a sofa their clients will unknowingly sit on afterwards. Or as
the spin misters call it, the Bug "sleeps" with the man who once sexually
harassed and assaulted her.
As Lauralee Bell (Bug) rationalizes this disgusting event, "She kisses him, and they
end up on the couch naked."
"I'm so fascinated that they came up with her [Bug] being the aggressor. It makes it
more palatable. This is the new Christine," says Christian LeBlanc (Baldwin).
It's the "new" Christine - same as the old Christine only lower in the garbage
pail.
Low self
esteemed women who have been victims of creeps like Baldwin are being told it's okay. Go
ahead and screw the man who scared the crap out of you, the man who violated you. But take
it up one level ladies - you be the aggressor! That'll give credibility to an otherwise
incredible action.
"Believability is not an issue on this one. She's [Bug] being run by this demon that
concerned Paul [Williams] and her marriage, and this baby he had ... her history made her
crazy. She's become a much more split person. She's going the other way ... it's
fascinating that her character suddenly starts coming to pieces about what's right and
what's wrong," says Bell.
That believability is not an issue is an understatement. Very little of what happens in
Genoa City has ever been believable and often riddled with reality flaws. But that's never
stopped this writing regime from trampling and distorting important social issues. Ashley
Carlton's cancer debacle is a prime example.
The Bug and Baldwin office lay is further adored and exploited by Bell.
"Who knows what she [Bug] went through the year she was gone? You do not go to a
faraway city and not have your life change dramatically. Maybe she's a little bit more
spontaneous, and that's OK. That's never been her life at all; she's very planned
out."
As anyone who has ever traveled knows, going to a faraway city surely changes life.
Democrats have been known to become republicans and vice-versa. Drug addicts have given up
their habits. If only the government knew that changing people is as simple as sending
them to, say, Iraq, think of all the money that could be saved fighting the win-less war
on drugs.
As for the Baldwins' past sexual harassment and assault, LeBlanc says that his violent
past with the Bug "bonds them in a powerful way."
Like so many of the dysfunctional elite in this city the Bug and Baldwin "have this
huge history with hard, tough things," says LeBlanc adding, "We don't all have
to be Sharon and Nick."
There is no doubt that Nick and Sharon Newman are two of the dumbest people in Genoa City.
But to their credit neither of them has slept with someone who stalked and violently tried
to rape them. Although Mrs. Newman would have done it with Matt Clark if Clark hadn't been
scared off that night when the two were alone together in a remote cabin.
So go ahead all you female victims of sexual harassment and rape. Put those terrible
nightmares out of your mind. Pick up the phone and call the creeps who violated you.
Invite them over for tea and a sleep over in your bed. You know you'll like it.
September 13,
2002
Screw the Bug!
by Lois
Hill
In
a revolting development here Friday, Christine 'The Bug' Blair confessed that after all
the cheating, the baby born to the woman who humped her husband in their own apartment who
shall be a constant reminder of the betrayal, she still has feelings for detective Paul
'Clueless' Williams.
"I’m confused about what’s happening," Williams told his former wife
when it became apparent that just the way she looks at him tells him it isn't over between
them.
As if transfixed in some horror that Clueless still thinks about her too, the Bug said
their marriage was over the day she watched as he had sex with dizzy Izzy Brana on the
family sofa. It was a repulsive sight, one that she'll never forget but maybe, if only she
knew why he had brought that woman into their home, it might make it easier for her to
understand why she can't get Clueless out of her mind.
"She was a client who needed protection," Clueless said in a cheap effort to
explain away his insipid decision to bring a total stranger into his wife's home when it
would have been easier to have stashed her in a hotel. With a cache of body guards and
personal goon squads, Clueless had no reason - other than the short one hanging between
his legs - to do what he did.
"It's obvious we still care about each other, the Bug spewed and shuddered, imagining
the nauseating sense of powerlessness, anger, and despair flooding the senses of the
hapless critter.
The question these two obsessed boobs have now is: what to do with their feelings.
As those who have lived in Genoa City for any length of time know, nothing is easy. The
arrogant, self-satisfied, greedy elite in this city must pay for their destructive
behavior.
And payback almost always comes in the form of a baby who will grow up to perpetuate the
mistakes of the parents.
Even as the Bug and Clueless spoke of their renewed feelings dizzy Izzy Williams was
banging the war drums. Alerted that the end of her marriage grows near, Mrs. Williams
ordered Michael Baldwin to screw the Bug while there is still time. - literally!
August 13, 2002
No way out but down
by Brent
Kellogg
Was there anyone who couldn't see it coming? First the long-awaited reunion of Victor and
Nikki Newman and now - insert fan fare - the reunification of detective Paul 'Clueless'
Williams and Christine 'Bug' Blair.
It won't happen overnight. There will be months of agony as the Bug wonders about what
might have been and Clueless coming to the conclusion that knocking up a client and having
a shotgun wedding was a bad move.
As the two wish they could turn back time there will be the recurrent theme of rhetoric.
The Bug will feel bad for leading Michael Baldwin on and somewhere along the line will
remember that she is a rape survivor now sucking up to her attacker.
Baldwin wanted the Bug when she worked for him in 1992. He promised the Bug that she would
climb the corporate ladder of success in record time if she was willing to sleep with him.
The Bug filed a sexual harassment suit and took the slime to court. Baldwin was found
guilty - by the state Supreme Court oddly - and was fired from his job.
Seeking revenge, Baldwin dug a hole through the wall in the apartment next to the Bug's,
crawled into the Bug nest and attacked her. Lucky for the Bug, Clueless had discovered
what Baldwin was up to and came to the rescue. Baldwin spent the next few years in prison.
The attempted rape by Baldwin was the Bug's second run-in with creeps who prey on women.
Derek Stuart raped her in 1989. They say time heals all wounds but for the Bug to even be
in the same room with Baldwin is ludicrous.
The other bizarre aspect of a Bug and Clueless reunion? How could any woman want a man who
screwed another woman right under her nose while they were married? It's the environment
of lax ethics they live in.
There is no doubt that Bug wants Clueless back. During a conversation Tuesday with her
former husband's puppy-dog office manager, the Bug told Lynne 'Yes-Boss' Bassett all about
going to dinner with the man who attacked her, how Baldwin purchased the cocktail dress
she wore and while she enjoyed being with the predator couldn't keep her eyes from roaming
around the room and seeing her ex with his new wife. Knowing that Clueless has a new baby
didn't help either.
Before coming right out and saying she longs for Williams the Bug caught herself.
"I'll get past this" she squeaked.
For his part, Williams too confessed Tuesday that he is "concerned" that the Bug
looked wistfully at him and seems sad.
Just when it seemed these people couldn't go any lower there appears to be no way out but
down.
July 23, 2002
Bug goes the extra mile
by Brent
Kellogg
Supporters and naysayers alike were in awe Tuesday when local lawyer Christine 'Bug' Blair
demonstrated she hasn't forgotten her roots and remains willing to go above and beyond the
call of duty. When it comes to looking out for the poor and downtrodden, Genoa City's top
crusader is virtually peerless.
With the taste of grilled salmon just moments away from her big lips, the Bug cut short a
relaxing night of whining and dining at the RoadKill Cafe when an emergency call came in
from a woman who had not so long ago told the creepy crawler to stay away from her family.
Proving she doesn't believe herself to be above it all, the Bug didn't bother to ask the
caller what was so important that it required her dinner be interrupted or what couldn't
be explained briefly on the telephone.
Ordering that her salmon be tossed into a buggy bag for consumption at some later date,
the Bug slithered away to answer the call of duty leaving her guest to drink the
pee-flavored Chianti by himself.
The thought of having to do her job at the office was just too much for the Bug to bear.
What would the client think? Time was precious and the Bug nest was closer.
Soon the door bell was ringing and in walked Sharon Newman. In the Bug's mind the
adulterous woman's presence could mean only one thing. Had her husband discovered that she
slept with the stable boy? The self-destructive Newman stood speechless for a few moments
trying to construct an answer.
"No, no. Not yet," was the best she could do.
Already agitated, the Bug pulled out pliers. "Talk to me!" she ordered and at
the same time guessed correctly that Newman's frantic state had something to do with Diego
Guittierez.
Newman rolled her head to one side. After the rocks had settled and she had regained her
balance, Newman sputtered, "If that guy [Guittierez] doesn’t leave town I
don’t know what will happen. I just don’t know!"
Looking on a person's outward circumstances and drawing negative conclusions is cases like
these isn't the Bug's style. If it were, the critter would have asked Newman:
"For this
you called me away from my dinner? What do you want from me? Order Guittierez to get out
of town? If you don't know what will happen if Guittierez doesn't leave town - I do! Your
ass will be grass and your husband will be the lawn mower. You better end this dangerous
game you're playing and tell the truth. You got yourself into this mess because you spread
your legs so you can get yourself out of it. Now get the hell out of here and don't ever
call me again unless it's important and never call me late at night!"
For good measure the Bug could have injected a Newmanism. "You got that?"
June 27, 2002
Can't help falling in love!
by Brent
Kellogg
Attorney,
and part-time crusader for the peasants, Christine 'Bug' Blair confessed Thursday she is
falling for the man who attacked her ten years ago.
In what had to be an act of madness Blair allowed her former assailant and
current law partner Michael Baldwin to spend the night at her apartment and took pride in
her action.
"[It] was like a house warming," Blair said of Baldwin's
presence adding that having the predator near her "made me feel content."
Detecting he had the Bug right where he wants her, Baldwin snatched the
opportunity to mollify the critter.
"I pretty much owe it all to you," Baldwin told Blair crediting
her with making him what he is today. Adding insult to injury, Baldwin made it clear that
his life took on new meaning when he fell into the Bug's good graces. "The life I
have I owe to you," he said before leaving the Bug alone to contemplate their social
interaction.
Baldwin's frosting on the cake followed moments later in the form of a
flower delivery and a card which read:
"I just wanted you to know how wonderful it was to wake up with you
this morning."
The Bug tried to wipe off the silly smirk on her face but couldn't hide
the fact she has forgiven, forgot what Baldwin did and is falling for him. This
outrageous, repulsive act of stupidity can only be equated with forgiving what the Nazi's
did to the Jews.
June 13,
2002
Bug; Forgive
Nazi war criminals!
Local
attorney Christine 'Bug' Blair got the middle finger of disapproval again Thursday when
the crusading critter had the audacity to tell the man who once attacked and scared the
living crap out of her, "it’s good to hear your voice too."
The incredible statement followed a brief telephone conversation during which the Bug's
law partner, Michael Baldwin, said he only called because he wanted to hear the Bug's
voice.
Since the Bug's return to Genoa City the tide has been churning up a sewage pit of love
nesting to pad a romantic interlude between victim and predator.
Humans are taught at an early age to turn the other cheek and that forgiveness is godly
but they soon learn that its a selective process. Evil is evil and shouldn't be rewarded.
Baldwin didn't deserve prison time for his dastardly deed and should have been given
another chance to prove he was only trying to squash a bug. However, for the victim to
forgive and forget what happened is an outrageous, repulsive act of stupidity.
Will those who were preyed upon by Enron forgive the government for not taking any action
against Enron or Ken Lay for what he did? Not likely. Likewise, the Bug should steer clear
of Mr. Baldwin.
But, if the Bug is hell bent of sleeping with the man who attacked her she might as well
declare that all the Nazi war criminals be forgiven for what they did too.
June 11, 2002
Carnal
Confession
by
Michael Kelly
Crusading critter Christine "Bug" Blair hit the roof here on
Tuesday after her law partner Michael Baldwin admitted that he had a brief sexual fling
months earlier with the same profanely poisonous spider woman that helped break up Bug's
marriage to Paul "Clueless" Williams.
While Baldwin and Blair were breakfasting at the RoadKill Cafe, the critter's crone of a
former mother-in-law Mary Williams, let the cat out of the bag. The Bible biddy scolded
Baldwin for not marrying Dizzy Izzy Brana when he had the chance. According to Mrs.
Williams, Baldwin and Brana "deserve each other."
Once the scowling zealot flew away on her broom, Bug demanded an immediate explanation.
After hedging a little, Baldwin belched out the truth. Yes, he had bedded Brana. He and
the devil's daughter dilly-dallied very briefly and the slut meant less than nothing to
him.
Bug really went ballistic when she discovered Dizzy deceived Mikey briefly into believing
he sired her then unborn demon spawn.
Baldwin tried to make light of the situation. Brana later admitted that Clueless fathered
little Ricky Ricardo and the two are now stuck in unholy matrimony. No harm done.
Predictably, the critter didn't brush the revelation aside. Why didn't Mikey tell her the
truth earlier when it would have "made a difference?"
The idea of him having "casual sex" with the same slut that destroyed her
marriage made the Bug's skin crawl. She'd never be able to get over the thought of them
screwing each other.
Being scolded by the woman he desires most turned Mikey into a whipped, whimpering pup
having his snout rubbed in his own feces.
Baldwin babbled that if Bug hadn't been Down Under at the time, he never would have
fornicated with Satan's sister. Big, bad Bug would have "stopped it." Either
Mikey would have been content basking in Bug's blessed presence or the crusading critter
would have glued Dizzy's legs together.
Determined to turn groveling into an Olympic sport, Baldwin begged Blair to let him make
it up to her. Unfortunately, Miss Priss told him to "forget it." Whatever he
does in his private life is his business. However, she let him know that, "I'm very
disappointed in you."
Pristine Christine Blair has long been known as a starchy, self-righteous, holier than
thou, preaching prig, but her latest sermon of a snit fit defies description. What the
hell business is it of hers that Mikey got laid? Heaven forbid the man didn't pine away
for her by braying at the moon while she was out of the country more than a year. This
woman's mammoth egocentricity is egregious in the extreme.
Yes, Baldwin was a dope for blowing Brana without a condom and falling for her claim that
he fathered her little beast. But that's his lesson to learn.
It's truly sickening to watch the most brilliant man in Genoa City humiliate himself for
the sake of someone who treats him like pond scum. To say nothing of the fact that he
taught this "invincible" legal insect everything she knows about the law. If
he's going to kiss this critter's behind and keep her on a pedestal, he'd might as well
tattoo the words Property Of Bug on his forehead. Or give her possession of his balls.
This wimp's emasculation is complete.
Bug's territorial attitude toward the man who sexually harassed and tried to rape her is
truly troubling. Does she have secret romantic yearnings for Baldwin or does she simply
want him under her thumb? Either way, this is one warped woman.
If she were as morally immaculate as she claims, Bug would run to Clueless and warn him
that Little Ricky might not be his baby. Since Paulie strolled into the RoadKill today and
greeted her with, "Hey, I thought you were leaving town", she has the chance to
make her return to Genoa City mean something.
June 4,
2002
Bug staying!
Crusader Christine Blair made it official Tuesday. She will be staying in Genoa City. As
part of her duties at the law firm of Baldwin & Williams, Blair will take on the next
case the firm is confronted with and wrap-up loose ends on pending cases.
The jubilation was drowned out when the Bug's former mother-in-law charged
into the office and accused Blair of ruining her relationship with her son. Blair made it
clear she and detective Paul Williams are history before ordering the old woman to hit the
road.
May 31,
2002
Never forget
by Brent
Kellogg
Local attorney and crusader for the impoverished, Christine 'Bug' Blair
has been sending messages to female rape victims since her return to the mini-megalopolis
that it's perfectly normal to forgive and forget the men who rape them.
The Bug was trying to further her law career in 1992 when she was given the opportunity of
a lifetime to work with legal shark Michael Baldwin. The Bug was told in no uncertain
terms that if she wanted to get ahead a certain amount of "cooperation" would be
expected in the form of a personal relationship with Baldwin.
The Bug sought sexual harassment charges when she figured out Baldwin was up to no good
and later discovered that Baldwin has a history of sexual abuse including his next door
neighbor.
As part of a plan to entrap Baldwin, the Bug and her husband staged a hokey public breakup
and sure enough, Baldwin soon invited the Bug to work with him on a big case. During a
subsequent trip to Los Angeles, Baldwin approached his victim unaware that it was all
being recorded on audio tape.
When rock star Danny Romalotti came to the Bug's rescue the critter thought she had
Baldwin right where she wanted him but sleaze that he is, Baldwin came out of the mess
smelling like a rose.
The Bug persisted with her case and in 1993 Baldwin made the mistake of tunneling through
a wall into the Bug's apartment where he attacked her. Had it not been for detective Paul
Williams' rescue effort there is no telling what might have happened to the Bug.
As soon as Baldwin began serving time for his crime in prison the Bug got it into her head
that he needed to be taught a lesson. She visited Baldwin in prison many times, accepted
his apology and eventually returned to work with him as a partner in the law firm Baldwin
& Williams.
Just short of a decade later, the Bug has been seen bouncing around town with Baldwin
having a grand old time and on Friday was seen sharing a kiss with the man who once would
have taken pleasure in raping her.
The message to women who have been victims of rape is loud and clear. Ladies, those men
really didn't mean to rape and torture you. They were mentally unbalanced at the time or
had bad lives as children.
Whatever the reason, rape victims shouldn't hold a grudge toward their attackers. When you
see these predators walking the street ladies, run right up to them and give them a big
kiss. You'll be a better person and the World will be a better place because you've shown
you can get over the trauma.
May 24,
2002
Bug takes
credit, says she alone made law firm 'World wide operation'
By Brent Kellogg
Not since crusader Christine 'Bug' Blair said that she is
"invincible" have words so covered with slime emerged from her lips. Until now.
After suffering a conniption fit Thursday the Bug reported the trouble she had breathing
was no big deal and that she would be returning to live with the kangaroos in Australia.
Her mission in Genoa City complete, the Bug informed law partner Michael Baldwin not to
meddle in her personal affairs and ordered airlines reservations.
Sensing the Bug's decision was based on feelings she has for a washed up clueless
detective, Baldwin pleaded with the creature to reconsider. With cases piling up and only
one active lawyer on staff who is too busy injecting himself into the affairs of the
lowest of low-life, Baldwin pointed out there are many cases for the Bug to sink her claws
into.
The mere mention of doing legal work made the Bug's skin crawl.
"I'm pulling my weight now. I've made us a world wide operation," the slimy
critter crowed only to have Baldwin accuse her of running away.
Desperately trying to shed a tear, the Bug denied running anywhere. Adding that her former
husband is now with the wicked Izzy Brana all is one with the world.
Almost delusional, the Bug's demeanor changed to that of a happy, carefree butterfly.
Noticing that the Bug had instantly put on a happy face, Baldwin asked, "Are you
hungry?"
A big grin spread across the Bug's ugly face. "I'm starving," she squealed.
Knowing the crusader's affliction for spicy food, Baldwin just so happened to be aware of
a new Thai restaurant down the street. No Saigon Shack, the restaurant has some of the
tastiest fried flies this side of Bangkok.
Her mouth watering, the smiling Bug grabbed her purse, allowed Baldwin to open the door
and off they went.
May 23,
2002
Bug suffers
major conniption fit!
Local attorney and crusader for the betterment of mankind Christine 'Bug' Blair suffered a
mysterious loss of breath here Thursday after a violent verbal confrontation with
department store magnate Lauren Fenmore.
Thought to be nothing more than a severe panic attack, Blair's hysterics
followed a meeting with Fenmore at the law offices of Baldwin & Williams during which
Blair repeatedly bashed Fenmore for poking around in her personal business.
Fenmore called the visit cordial and said if Blair had any intention of
hooking up again with her former husband "be sure it’s what you want for the
rest of your life." Fenmore added her only concern is that detective Paul Williams,
and oddly her former husband too, lives a happy and contented life.
Seething with hatred, Blair told Fenmore to leave and then flew into a
rage flinging office files into the air and a coffee cup at the door before gasping for
air.
May 23,
2002
A Bug's life
By Michael Kelly
Now that crusading attorney Christine "Bug" Blair has rebuffed the romantic
overtures of her ex-husband, bumbling private eye Paul "Clueless" Williams, many
in Genoa City are wondering why she habitually commits herself to men who betray her by
taking other women to bed, and supposedly siring illegitimate offspring.
The sick cycle began back in 1987, when the teenaged Bug fell in love with wealthy
alcoholic Phillip Chancellor III. After teen trollop and Blair's so-called friend Nina
Webster plied Chancellor with cheap hooch, she boinked him and got knocked up.
Playing the role of martyr to the hilt, Bug urged the fiancée she loved to commit himself
to Webster so that his son, Phillip IV could have a family unit. In fact, Blair even
helped to transform the Webster skank into a swan so that Chancellor could stomach the
idea of marrying her.
In 1993, the winged one's marriage to small time rock singer Danny Romalotti dissolved
after he sent her a "Dear Bug" letter from New York, where he was starring in a
musical. The note stated his desire to call it quits.
Following his return to Genoa City after their split, Romalotti fessed up. He admitted
that the reason he asked Blair for a divorce is that he'd gotten loaded one night while in
NYC, had sex with a stranger named Phyllis Summers, and impregnated her. It was the
biggest mistake of his life. He wanted the Bug back.
Once again however, she was unwilling to separate the straying tom cat she adored from his
child. It was later learned that the boy, Daniel, wasn't even Romalotti's.
Her marriage to Williams fell apart last year while Bug was out of the country on
business. Her lonely, vulnerable, and brain damaged hubby allowed a client of questionable
character named Dizzy Izzy Brana to live in their guest room. It wasn't long before
Clueless screwed the slut on their sofa to get some sexual healing. The Bug was lucky
enough to witness the sorry spectacle with her own eyes. Predictably, Williams' wee weenie
wasn't wrapped at the time, and Brana ended up with a bun her oven.
Now that Brana's given Williams a son, and his marriage to Bug is history, Clueless
implored his former wife to give their love another try.
When Blair turned him down for the sake of the child, Williams fragile male ego was
bruised. Clueless sulked, and attempted to wound her in return. He whined, "I really
feel sorry for you because one day you're going to wake up and realize the law book you're
sleeping with is a very cold bed partner."
His low blow had the desired result. The Bug burst into tears.
Whether she realizes it or not, Blair's far better off without this unctuous, aging,
hormonally dominated, mid-life crisis afflicted mama's boy. Clueless Williams is the kind
of wannabe alpha male that every woman should be wary of.
That doesn't mean that Bug is absolved of all responsibility where her disastrous
relationship record is concerned. She needs to ask herself how and why she continually
latches on to weak willed, commitment challenged men who are unable to keep their pants
zipped. To say nothing of the fact that these losers didn't even have the common sense to
wear a rubber before they cheated on her.
Is Christine Blair a woman of impossibly high moral standards who feels she deserves to be
disappointed by love? Perhaps she gets a masochistic kick out of being hurt by men she
knows are unworthy of her.
On the other hand, perfection in a woman can cause an insecure man to feel she's
untouchable. That's possibly what draws them into tawdry one-night stands with common
floozies.
Whether the fault lies with Bug or the men she's chosen is unknown. What is certain is
that this endlessly dysfunctional cycle has become trite, and needs to be broken.
May 20,
2002
Bug move in
okayed
So long
as the rent is paid they don't care who lives there. So say managers of the ritzy
apartment building where missing photographer Malcolm Winters last resided. Winter's
fiancée, Alex Perez took over the digs and before abruptly leaving town left the pad in
the care of crusader Christine 'Bug' Blair without bothering to check if Blair wanted to
be responsible for the full rent. Blair has indicated she will move in because Perez paid
one month rent in advance.
May 20, 2002
Bug making love
not war?
By Doris Hill
Genoa City is all abuzz about the return of and the apparent setting down of roots by
social crusader, Christine 'Bug' Blair.
Why, when the ink on her divorce papers is still wet, is the Bug showing interest in the
man she broke away from?
These are not two people who fell in love, got married, suddenly discovered they were
incompatible and parted company. If it were that simple the Bug's renewed interest in
detective Paul Williams might make sense. Their short time apart made them realize their
love is alive so let nature take its course.
It's not that simple.
From the outset the Bug was under extreme pressure to produce a baby during her short
marriage. Her mother-in-law didn't let a day go by without squawking how badly she wanted
a grandchild. When the Bug couldn't deliver the goods she became partners with and went to
work for the man who sexually abused her. With tensions in the marriage running high, the
Bug fled to Hong Kong on business and from that point it was all down hill. Due to poor
communication, she and Mr. Williams seemed destined to remain apart. Whenever one got on
the phone with the other it was always the same time of day and those made in Taiwan
phones had so much static.
Moving to Australia didn't help.
By the time the Bug returned to Genoa City for the funeral of Ryan McNeil most everyone
knew her former husband had socked it to dizzy Izzy Brana. Because people in Genoa City
have sex without birth control it was only a matter of time before the baby came. The Bug
did the smart thing. She returned to Australia.
It wasn't long before Mary Williams had changed her mind about Brana wanting the evil
woman out of her son's life. Flying to Australia, Mrs. Williams pleaded with the Bug to
come home. As usual, the Bug was rude and tossed Williams out on her ear. After some
thinking the Bug caught the next broom out of town.
In a flash the Bug was back in Genoa City. Everyone she bumped into it seemed begged her
to give Paul Williams another chance. Williams' himself wanted another chance. At first
the Bug said she wasn't interested. But after sharing a welcome home kiss with Mr.
Williams changed her mind.
Since then the Bug's mind has been changing by the hour. I want him, I want him not. The
midge might as well be picking pedals off a daisy.
Those cheering the Bug on are getting edgy. They fear her war on adultery will ultimately
be unsatisfying unless both Brana and Williams are made to pay. Brana especially deserves
to have her life made miserable. But the way the Bug's war is shaping up they both could
fall through the cracks as the Bug seems willing to forgive Williams and take him back to
the warmth of her cocoon.
Bug lovers should not put away their pom poms.
What better way to make Brana suffer than to make her think that the man
she so desperately needs to make her family complete wants his former wife back?
The Bug is spinning a web of deception in which to trap two of the biggest creeps known to
man. So long as she doesn't get caught in her own reticulation the outcome should be
thrilling.
May 17,
2002
Bug warning!
Attorney
Christine 'Bug' Blair received a verbal warning Friday that what she did to Mrs. Jack
Abbott should be cause for the Bug to be very afraid. Why Phyllis Abbott chose to blame
anyone for her recent courtroom antics could only be attributed to the recent blame game
outbreak. Abbott should have been pleased with how the 'Baby K' case concluded since she
won't be saddled with having to raise another woman's child. At any rate, Blair better
watch her step. Abbott tried to kill her in the past and can be a very deadly woman when
persons she doesn't like get in the way.
May 8, 2002
Bug's action
drains support
by Brent Kellogg
After what private detective Paul 'Clueless' Williams did to her there has
been a reservoir of empathy for local crusader Christine 'Bug' Blair and some concern for
her safety was expressed Wednesday when Williams heard something crawling around his
apartment and pointed a gun at it. But when everything was said and done it might have
been just as well had he shot first and asked questions later.
"Put that thing down," Blair ordered and like the sissy boy he is, Williams did
as he was told.
It was more than strange that Blair would return to the apartment, where the man she once
loved cheated on her with a woman he barely knew, to take a shower. Williams himself
thought it was weird. "What are you doing here?" were the first words out of his
mouth.
"I’m taking a shower. Do you mind?" the Bug snapped.
Again Williams went limp. "I’m sorry," is all he could say as the critter
slithered off to slip into a cocoon large enough to cover her expanding belly. As he
waited, Williams brewed tea.
Given a normal set of circumstances a real man might ask what in hell his former wife was
doing making herself at home. Their divorce was final and there were no words in the
degree giving her access to the apartment. Had she left something behind the appropriate
thing to do would have been to call and make arrangements. Barging in without notice with
a key she had not surrendered was not nice. Taking a shower was outrageous. What if
Williams had a blowup doll or pot plants in the shower? Could he trust a former bitch not
to squeal?
Instead of what might have been the logical confrontation, the Bug seemed overjoyed.
"It’s good to see you," she said.
Dumber than a summer day in August is long, Clueless didn't catch the sneer.
"It’s good to see you too," he replied before tossing out a standard Genoa
City cliché. "What are you doing in Genoa City?"
Remarkably, the Bug laid out her agenda complete with crusade details, how she has grown
tired of paying high hotel rates and has accepted an invitation to share an apartment with
a woman she doesn't know. And then she spewed the idiotic statement of the day.
"I didn’t expect to find you here."
Just who did the slimy slug expect to find? The creature had to have known that she of all
slime had no business there. For another kick in his empty head the Bug congratulated
Williams on his new baby.
There's something repulsive about a man who didn't lose his balls due to disease or
accident. Men like Williams should be made to squat when they pee because what Williams
did next proved he doesn't have a pair.
The little weasel began to whine that dizzy Izzy Brana, the woman he screwed with his
little gun in the apartment where he and the Bug were standing, had threatened him with
marriage or moving out of her apartment.
Williams is such a pro-effete pile of pus. In a city burdened with shameful literacy
rates, Williams should be the poster boy.
By the time his sob story was over the Bug should have been puking her guts out but she's
a sucker for self-improvers and autodidactics. Given the proper training Williams might be
salvageable. But recouping with the PI will drain the Bug's empathy reservoir. It's deep
but not bottomless.
May 6,
2002
Bug on the move
Attorney Christine 'Bug' Blair has confirmed she will move out of the expensive
Genoa City Hotel and into the apartment of an alleged dead man she will share with a woman
she doesn't know from Eve.
Blair's zeal must be based on her ability to sense she'd be able to
coexist with a total stranger. Normal people are not so quick to share body odors with
people they don't know.
Before becoming a roommate the prudent person takes the time to check out
who they are considering moving in with. It's not a decision one makes in about an hour.
Blair's decision was not deterred by the advanced warning attorney Alex
Perez provided that she, Perez, is carrying an enormous amount of emotional baggage. The
only logical conclusion for the Bug's decision was that she sensed Perez will be leaving
Genoa City soon. And that too dredges up the question: Since Blair has said she won't be
staying in Genoa City, what apartment owner would rent to her?
April 30, 2002
Crusader Bug
ponders move to dead man's pad!
The Genoa
City News has learned attorney Christine 'Bug' Blair will consider an invitation from
colleague Alex Perez to move into the apartment of allegedly deceased photographer Malcolm
Winters.
The move will rid Blair of those outrageous hotel rates and would be the
ideal place to sooth the feeling sorry for herself Perez while at the same time getting
into the middle of Perez's ongoing verbal battles with the dead man's brother.
April
24, 2002
Bug bridge building!
by Brent Kellogg
Eager to become a bridge to the 21 marriage century, Baldwin & Williams legal
crusader Christine 'Bug' Blair officially embarked Wednesday on what will undoubtedly turn
into a nightmare. The prospect of the Bug deflecting attention from the one opportunity
coffee shop moguls Nick and Sharon Newman have to end their dysfunctional marriage is
unnerving. Now the focus will shift to the rantings and ravings of this fanatical creepy
crawler out to save a marriage.
So far as anyone can tell Mrs. Newman has yet to plunk down a dime for the Bug's service.
Why should she? The many other instances when Newman has required an attorney she's been
able to obtain said services from Legal Aid for free. And this time it appears Newman will
not have to worry about visiting her "pro se" counsel at its law offices either.
Without checking to see if her client was at home, without calling ahead, the Bug made the
one-hour trek from Genoa City to the Newman ranch weighted down with gifts from Australia.
In addition to leaving kangaroo land in about an hour, the Bug had time to stop at the
various airport tourist traps to pick out gifts for those near and dear including the
woman who told her in so many words to go to hell the last time they had met.
Happiest of all to see the Bug was the former orphan kid, Cassie Newman, who made a
predicable plea for the Bug to save her precious family.
After a short conversation which could have easily been conducted by phone, the Bug
squeaked that she, the almighty Bug, would become the bridge that brings Nick and Sharon
Newman back together. That said, the Bug made the one-hour trip back to the city where she
slithered under Nick Newman's office door, flapped its wings and croaked that she had come
to save his marriage.
As disgusting as watching any bug crusade can be, this one may be beyond the Bug. There
are complicated issues the creature is not expected to master.
April
22, 2002
Decaying purposes
by Brent Kellogg
From the outset it was a bad omen. One moment attorney Christine 'Bug' Blair was
in her Australian office thinking about returning to Genoa City and within moments was
actually in the city! The Bug's sudden departure and arrival was so fast it could not be
determined - but must be assumed - that the airline she booked was the one and only We Fly
You Anywhere Air.
Capable of beaming people around the globe at a moments notice, WFYAA undoubtedly allowed
the Bug to make a reservation for a flight leaving "in about an hour", allowed
the passenger to avoid going through the ineffective security screens and was not at all
concerned whether or not the Bug might be carrying a box cutter for which to slit the
throat of any evil she might encounter.
The flight was so smooth the Bug reported the only thing she could think about was
salvaging the marriage of coffee shop czars Nick and Sharon Newman.
And thus, another Bug crusade was born.
Is it not enough that the Bug slithered into town hell-bent on dispossessing the Newmans
from their hatred, forcing them onto some reconciled reservation and relegating them to
lives of martial bliss. It is an undisputed fact there is no hope for the Newman marriage.
The two adults involved have grown apart and staying together will only prolong their
agony. But leave it to the Bug to erase months of terror with the mere wave of a wing.
For a brief time there was hope. The Bug would return to take out the evil woman who
tricked her husband into unzipping his pants and porking a woman he hardly knew. Such a
mission would have been - and still has the possibility - sweet revenge. But no, the Bug
had to take up a cause.
It's not only what Genoa City residents will see when the Bug crusade heats up, it's the
smell. The smell of decaying purposes.
April
16, 2002
Ungrateful
Newman's Dismiss Bug!
It
was in May of 2000. Attorney Christine 'the Bug' Williams was shocked when Sharon Newman dismissed her services as the family lawyer.
"I
don't understand it. Just because I've made a decision to work with Michael Baldwin all of
a sudden they don't want me around?" the Bug snarled.
After
all the free Legal Aid services the Bug had provided the Newmans to be
summarily dismissed
was a slap in the face.
As she
watched the Bug slither out of her coffee shop by day, club for all ages by night, Mrs. Newman gave the rocks in her head a good shaking.
"This
partnership with Michael Baldwin has changed the way I see her. I won't have Mr. Baldwin
anywhere near my daughter," Mrs. Newman said confirming her intention to have Genoa
City's all-purpose lawyer, John Silva, handle the adoption of Cassie 'the orphan kid'
Johnson.
In
a related development, Nick Newman burst unannounced into the law offices of Williams
& Baldwin that day and demanded Michael Baldwin have no contact
with Cassie Johnson's adoptive mother, Alice. After making an ass of himself, Newman
asked, "Have you got that?"
Later, Newman
returned to his coffee shop where he told his wife what a tough guy he is.
"I
kept my cool and didn't rip his [Baldwin] head off but I did make it clear he is not to
talk to Alice Johnson and that John Silva will handle the adoption case."
Nodding
her empty head in agreement, Mrs. Newman added she thought Michael Baldwin is, "A dangerous man."
April 16, 2002
They're free!
Officially divorced on 12.07.01, detective Paul 'Clueless' Williams and attorney Christine
'Bug' Williams were notified simultaneously by mail Tuesday that their divorce is final.
That the degree was certified in less than six months is not a record. Other divorces in
Genoa City have been finalized on demand within weeks.
The event signals a new era for the former crusaders who it is hoped will not launch nor
will they allow others to proclaim that they are a "free man" and "free
woman" respectively.
The degrees arriving in the mail on the same day was a milestone for the Postal Service
and declared an "omen" by former brothel employee dizzy Izzy Brana who hopes to
stick a ring through Mr. Williams' nose. However, Williams has stated that while he enjoys
playing house with Brana and cannot wait to be a daddy to her baby and wants to live as a
family he isn't ready for marriage.
Displaying more exuberance than her former husband, the Bug left no doubt she is excited
to be rid of the most clueless man in America. "My marriage is truly over," the
Bug said upon reading the notice.
In a related development, the Bug has refused to handle coffee shop mogul Sharon Newman's
divorce. Newman recently said she had spoken with family law attorney Sherman Tank about
her case but must have remembered Tank no longer practices law in Genoa City. Newman
subsequently urged attorney Michael Baldwin to enlist the aid of the Bug.
Unwilling to dabble in the lowly art of family law, the Bug turned thumbs down on the
case. However, sources in Australia say the Bug may be planning a flip-flop when it takes
a trip to the USA during a break between more important assignments.
April 9,
2002
Corporate lawyer sought for divorce case!
Although Mrs. Sharon Newman told Legal Aid lawyer Christine 'Bug' Blair years ago she
never wanted the Bug to represent her family again, GCN has learned the coffee shop mogul
has flip-flopped and will soon demand the Bug take her impending divorce case.
A
corporate lawyer operating in Australia, the Bug no longer handles domestic cases but is
expected to consider killing two birds with one stone by returning to Genoa City.
April 8, 2002
Operation 'Kick Ass' heats up!
by Brent
Kellogg
The unscrupulous, amoral and licentious Dizzy Izzy Brana better watch her mouth. Her
implication Monday, that anyone who tries to mess with her had better watch out, was a
clear threat directed toward one of Genoa City's finest crusaders.
Armed with the knowledge that Mrs. Mary Williams' trip to Australia for a high-level
meeting with the Bug ratcheted up operation 'Kick Ass', Brana's puzzled annoyance showed
there does exist a pathological hatred in her which she is prepared to unleash.
Tactically, Brana has been brilliant the way she seduced Genoa City's most clueless
private detective Paul Williams. Getting pregnant was awesome. No one in this city can
question Brana's capability or resolve. But Brana doesn't know the crusader Bug.
Strategically, Brana doesn't stand a chance.
Any force that dares to strike the Bug will receive punishing retaliation. That has been
established beyond doubt more than once. In 1994 the Bug carved her resolve in stone.
"I am the best. I am invincible."
Anyone who has ever tangled with the creepy critter knows this to be true.
The Bug's articulation of any battle it takes on can be sickening to watch but deadly for
the opponent. But winning battles does not guarantee victory in a larger war. For all her
victories, the Bug has lost the wars she's fought for men. Those men were no oil barrens
and not great losses. There was rock and roller Danny Romalotti who was easy tricked into
having sex with another woman and Paul Williams did the same thing.
What the Bug will gain by smashing terror cell Brana head against the wall a few times and
rubbing her nose in the putrid, disgusting afterbirth she represents is not clear. It is
hard to fathom that the Bug has not become so desperate for a man she's stooped to
reconsidering taking Williams back.
With Williams about to become a father to a child he doesn't know for a legal certainty is
his it doesn't seem logical that the Bug would want anything to do with such crud.
It would seem therefore, assuming she will wedge herself between Brana and Williams, that
the Bug has developed a taste for revenge. Egged on by Mary Williams, who has Brana pegged
for what she scourge on society she is down to the minutest detail, the Bug has a knack
for creating discomfort, if not outright instability, for those who have done her wrong.
What Brana is doing and the damage she has done deserves big time payback.
As ruthless and arrogant as the Bug can be watching her put 90 pounds of manure in a 1
pound bag is sure to be exciting.
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