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2002 News Archives - Jeffery Todd Hellstrom

See also: Colleen Carlton  Teens

December 3, 2002

Memo to CBS: End the kiddy porn!
Is it over? Can it be possible that the populous will no longer be tormented by a young girl's seduction of a man and that thankfully Colleen Carlton and J.T. Hellstrom won't be having really bad sex until the girl is of legal age?

Can it be that deep in their subconscious a tiny voice made a barely audible sighing sound, sadly acknowledging that bad porn shouldn't be seen on CBS Daytime and that the soon to be Zoloft-addicted Colleen will have to wait a few years until she becomes unhappily married to Hellstrom and the two share his future in middle management at a toner cartridge distributorship in suburban purgatory?

Now that Hellstrom has seen fit to save his sorry ass from living the life of a pedophile - by kicking Carlton's jail-baiting butt to the nearest Sears training bra department - we kneel before the gods asking that it be so.

November 22, 2002

No child left behind
by Brent Kellogg

Local lost in love with a minor J.T. Hellstrom is not the brightest bulb in the chandelier but that doesn't mean he should be treated like a terrorist.

Having been read his legal rights - including the right to remain silent and to have an attorney present during police questioning - Hellstrom eagerly flapped his gums Friday as two Genoa City police officers interrogated him about his relationship with runaway teen Colleen Carlton.

Officers Pendleton and Hunt would have made John Ashcroft proud with their Nazi-style tactics. The only thing missing were the whips and bright lights.

Without waiting to find out whether there is evidence to support Hellstrom's arrest the brown shirts ripped into the naive boy like hungry vultures. They weren't kidding about the felony charge and more importantly, those rich Abbott's weren't either. Is Hellstrom a total fool? Doesn't he know that when members of the Xanax-popping elite in this city lob mud at those they don't like it sticks?

Incredibly, the coppers expressed concern that Carlton might spend another night on the streets and unless Hellstrom spilled his guts officer Pendleton would "personally nail you to the wall."

And in the event Hellstrom couldn't understand German, Pendleton, clearly one of the most intellectually acrimonious and most desperately hawkish, violence-hungry, soulfully inscrutable cops ever seen in Genoa City, put on his best Victor Newman impression.

"You got that kid?"

Taking a break from interrogation duty, officers Hunt and Pendleton went into the slums to fetch Carlton and returned her to the Abbott home. Unless the teen agreed to stay with her family officer Hunt warned Carlton she would be taken into protective custody!

"I'll run away again and never come back," Carlton squealed and was immediately hauled to the police station to wait while the parents decide what to do.

If every kid who's ever run away was taken into protective custody there would be no one left to fill society. But alas, this is Genoa City.

And because somehow you still want to believe that this is a sweet, wonderful story of young love no matter how many cringing soul blows you endure from the degrading sludge-o-matic machine cranking out this crap, you wring your hands and hope that Colleen will break out and be taken seriously, reclaim her freedom and find true love. Don't you?

After all, no child should be left behind.

November 21, 2002

Local teen arrested!
As previously reported, local teen J.T. Hellstrom was arrested here Thursday without incident and charged with statutory rape and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

Police made the arrest when a girl answering Carlton's description was spotted at Union Street Park. A known hangout for runaways, 15-year-old Colleen Carlton was with Hellstrom at the time but fled the scene. One of two officers making the arrest gave foot pursuit. But due to a severe weight problem affecting many police officers or the vision of a bag of donuts, was unable to apprehend the girl.

Considered somewhat a monosyllabic wannabe frat boy - when he's learned to find Texas on a USA map and can pass the SAT - with an excessive fantasy life to counter his pudgy 17-second grunt-romps with completely unsatisfied nonorgasmic Madam Palm and her four sisters, Hellstrom is expected to be released from jail and all charges dropped.

Besides a lack of attorneys in this city at least one of the charges against Hellstrom may be bogus. There is no evidence that he has ever had sexual relations with Carlton and proving that he contributed to Carlton's delinquency may cost the City more to prove than it is worth. Fortunately for criminals in Genoa City the justice system is a failure as witnessed by the recent plea agreement given to drunk driver Brittany Hodges.

Ordered to perform community service at the Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle homeless shelter, Hodges has spent less than an hour at the shelter preferring instead to conspire to harbor teen runaways.

November 19, 2002

Local teen charged with rape!
The Genoa City News has learned that J.T. Hellstrom will be charged with statutory rape when the mother of the minor female he stashed away for safe keeping rides into town on her broom and cries rape. Traci Connelly should arrive in the city soon.

Generally, when someone of or over the age of consent has sex with someone below the age of consent, it is considered statutory rape even though the person below the age of consent willingly agreed.

   


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