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2002 News
Archives - Jeffery Todd Hellstrom
See
also: Colleen Carlton
Teens
December
3, 2002
Memo to CBS: End the
kiddy porn!
Is
it over? Can it be possible that the populous will no longer be tormented by a young
girl's seduction of a man and that thankfully Colleen Carlton and J.T. Hellstrom won't be
having really bad sex until the girl is of legal age?
Can it be that deep in their subconscious a tiny voice made a barely audible sighing
sound, sadly acknowledging that bad porn shouldn't be seen on CBS Daytime and that the
soon to be Zoloft-addicted Colleen will have to wait a few years until she becomes
unhappily married to Hellstrom and the two share his future in middle management at a
toner cartridge distributorship in suburban purgatory?
Now that Hellstrom has seen fit to save his sorry ass from living the life of a pedophile
- by kicking Carlton's jail-baiting butt to the nearest Sears training bra department - we
kneel before the gods asking that it be so.
November 22,
2002
No child left behind
by Brent
Kellogg
Local lost in
love with a minor J.T. Hellstrom is not the brightest bulb in the chandelier but that
doesn't mean he should be treated like a terrorist.
Having been read his legal rights - including the right to remain silent and to have an
attorney present during police questioning - Hellstrom eagerly flapped his gums Friday as
two Genoa City police officers interrogated him about his relationship with runaway teen
Colleen Carlton.
Officers Pendleton and Hunt would have made John Ashcroft proud with their Nazi-style
tactics. The only thing missing were the whips and bright lights.
Without waiting to find out whether there is evidence to support Hellstrom's arrest the
brown shirts ripped into the naive boy like hungry vultures. They weren't kidding about
the felony charge and more importantly, those rich Abbott's weren't either. Is Hellstrom a
total fool? Doesn't he know that when members of the Xanax-popping elite in this city lob
mud at those they don't like it sticks?
Incredibly, the coppers expressed concern that Carlton might spend another night on the
streets and unless Hellstrom spilled his guts officer Pendleton would "personally
nail you to the wall."
And in the event Hellstrom couldn't understand German, Pendleton, clearly one of the most
intellectually acrimonious and most desperately hawkish, violence-hungry, soulfully
inscrutable cops ever seen in Genoa City, put on his best Victor Newman impression.
"You got that kid?"
Taking a break from interrogation duty, officers Hunt and Pendleton went into the slums to
fetch Carlton and returned her to the Abbott home. Unless the teen agreed to stay with her
family officer Hunt warned Carlton she would be taken into protective custody!
"I'll run away again and never come back," Carlton squealed and was immediately
hauled to the police station to wait while the parents decide what to do.
If every kid who's ever run away was taken into protective custody there would be no one
left to fill society. But alas, this is Genoa City.
And
because somehow you still want to believe that this is a sweet, wonderful story of young
love no matter how many cringing soul blows you endure from the degrading sludge-o-matic
machine cranking out this crap, you wring your hands and hope that Colleen will break out
and be taken seriously, reclaim her freedom and find true love. Don't you?
After all, no
child should be left behind.
November
21, 2002
Local teen arrested!
As
previously reported, local teen J.T. Hellstrom was arrested here Thursday without incident
and charged with statutory rape and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
Police made the arrest when a girl answering Carlton's description was spotted at Union
Street Park. A known hangout for runaways, 15-year-old Colleen Carlton was with Hellstrom
at the time but fled the scene. One of two officers making the arrest gave foot pursuit.
But due to a severe weight problem affecting many police officers or the vision of a bag
of donuts, was unable to apprehend the girl.
Considered somewhat a monosyllabic wannabe frat boy - when he's learned to find Texas on a
USA map and can pass the SAT - with an excessive fantasy life to counter his pudgy
17-second grunt-romps with completely unsatisfied nonorgasmic Madam Palm and her four
sisters, Hellstrom is expected to be released from jail and all charges dropped.
Besides a lack of attorneys in this city at least one of the charges against Hellstrom may
be bogus. There is no evidence that he has ever had sexual relations with Carlton and
proving that he contributed to Carlton's delinquency may cost the City more to prove than
it is worth. Fortunately for criminals in Genoa City the justice system is a failure as
witnessed by the recent plea agreement given to drunk driver Brittany Hodges.
Ordered to perform community service at the Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle homeless
shelter, Hodges has spent less than an hour at the shelter preferring instead to conspire
to harbor teen runaways.
November 19,
2002
Local teen charged
with rape!
The
Genoa City News has learned that J.T. Hellstrom will be charged with statutory rape when
the mother of the minor female he stashed away for safe keeping rides into town on her
broom and cries rape. Traci Connelly should arrive in the city soon.
Generally, when
someone of or over the age of consent has sex with someone below the age of consent, it is
considered statutory rape even though the person below the age of consent willingly
agreed.
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