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News Archives 2002 - Phyllis Summers Abbott
Ref: Summers  Jack Abbott & Phyllis Summers  Baby K Case  Arson case  Diane Jenkins

August 9, 2002

Preposterous!
by Brent Kellogg

The private song and dance Phyllis Abbott put on for her spineless husband was almost believable when she first trotted it out. The evil mother of Jack Abbott's baby is a stinking, evil home squatter who is destroying their marriage and he better do something about it.

In each case the gutless hubby promises he'll handle it and then can't find the courage to kick Diane Jenkins' wicked ass out of his home. The do-nothingness sends Mrs. Abbott scurrying to cry on the shoulder of the attorney she smutted around with before her marriage and each time Michael Baldwin always tells her the same thing - be patient.

In each case Mrs. Abbott dumps a pile of humble gratitude on Baldwin's desk in the form of a thank you and a "I’m going to make it work. I have to."

Abbott's sense of poor class knowing what it's like living in a ditch but she'll somehow rise to superiority over the rich is getting out of hand. Though she was manifestly enamored of these fascinating particulars her mark of virtue was marred Friday.

Perplexingly, it was late at night at the Abbott home when the redhead pulled into the driveway. Apparently seeing a light on in the pool house or noticing former brothel employee Izzy Williams driving away, she slipped in just in time to catch the tail end of a phone conversation Jenkins was having.

Regardless of the late hour it is well known that businesses in Genoa City stay open around the clock. Even law offices are open at these bizarre times and Baldwin & Williams is no exception.

After requesting a lawyer turn over personal information on Mrs. Abbott's former husband and estranged child, Jenkins was stunned when she hung up and found Abbott behind her. As if it made a difference, she asked, "How long have you been there?"

As is so often the case in this city the question was answered with a question or a statement.

"You have no business asking about my child," Abbott hissed which only gave Jenkins a reason to launch a vicious personal attack.

"You had him [Danny Jr.] to catch a rock star [Danny Romalotti]," Jenkins spewed wondering in the same train of thought what kind of mother would do such a thing. Without waiting for an answer she also wanted to know - and it was a good question - when Abbott last spoke with the son she all but abandoned.

In one of the most preposterous statements she's ever made on the topic, Abbott told Jenkins, "Danny is giving my son a good life."

Besides the unprecedented statement it was a little late for Abbott to pretend she has any idea what her son may be experiencing as a result of growing up without any communication with his mother.

With little understanding of her moral culpability, Abbott continued her heinous behavior by trying to substitute the Jenkins baby for her own and inserting the allegation again that because she's a good stepmother her past faults should be overlooked.

Not a saint by any means, Jenkins had Abbott pegged this time. She has no intention of standing by and watching while Abbott - an unfit mother to boot - uses her son for fun and profit. And again, Jenkins hinted the time may be ripe for taking the case back to court. With Abbott's shady past and instability a restraining order could easily be obtained.

After hearing the overwhelming evidence against her Abbott demonstrated that she is a dangerous woman by hauling off and whacking Jenkins in the face.

It was not immediately determined whether Jenkins suffered any physical damage. But if she did the smartest thing she could do would be to grab a camera, call the police, document the attack and file a criminal complaint against the attacker. Maybe, faced with a criminal record, which would also be strong ammunition against her at an TRO hearing, Abbott will get it through her head that this silly game she's playing with Jenkins and her husband only serves as a cushion for the next attack which, knowing what she's capable of, could be deadly.

August 8, 2002

The end game
by Lois Hill

Like a broken record the Jenkins-Abbott arm-wrestling match broke out again Thursday with Diane Jenkins issuing a veiled threat of going back to court for a restraining order to keep the unstable Phyllis Abbott away from her son.

Having discovered the Abbott housekeeper can be depended on to catch her son whenever she had a need to toss the kid around like a hot potato, Jenkins and Abbott were fully engaged in finger-pointing when the boy's father busted up what could have turned into a bloody confrontation.

Sending Jenkins back to the pool house where she squats and plots, Jack Abbott told his wife for the umpteenth time that she cannot let the mother of his child get to her. If she can only remain patient Jenkins will one day go away leaving them in peace. But, like the war on terrorism, Abbott has no end game in place.

Prepared to go emotionally bankrupt if necessary, Mrs. Abbott just a few days ago was hot to take the battle with Jenkins to the bitter end. However, as soon as Jenkins slung some mud at her the hard-line hawkish woman once willing - and suspected of doing so at least once - to kill to get those in her way out of the way appears ready to go out like she came in; with no class.

To her credit Mrs. Abbott did tell her spineless husband again that Jenkins is using him and threatens to destroy their marriage.

When something goes wrong, Jack Abbott's instinct seems to be: Whose neck can he hang this around? He doesn't want to be saddled, fairly or unfairly, with the baggage he allowed to be drug into this marriage.

With his tail - and that's all he has between his legs now - Abbott crawled over to the pool house where he all but conceded defeat before Jenkins. Told that his wife should not be alone with his son because there is no telling when she'll explode like a bad car bomb, the only thing missing was the holding of his hands over his ears when Abbott said, "Stop! I don’t want to hear this about my wife."

He may not want to hear it but Abbott has got to stand up and be a man while there's still time. No wonder his own brother is such a confused sissy. Abbott is a poor, gutless role model. He knows this himself at some level, and is ashamed of it, which is why he takes the trouble to disguise this absurd situation as simply an argument between two women who need to learn how to get along.

The end game should be clear. Mrs. Abbott needs to pull her sappy husband aside and tell him to follow the bouncing ball. Stop the huffing and puffing and kissing the evildoer's butt. Recognize that he created what has become an out of control mess and that all his righteous indignation fixes nothing. Either he orders Jenkins off the Abbott property now - not next week or whenever things cool down - or she's chalking this farce of a marriage up to a lapse of her better judgment. July 26, 2002

What a concept!
by Brent Kellogg

Adding to the sense of disarray these dysfunctional people have been through, Abbott Hotel manager Jack Abbott announced Friday that regardless of what may happen next it really doesn't matter.

Abbott alluded to a night of fantastic fantasy-induced sex with his wife which, while better than the cat's meow, couldn't compare with the bonding that took place earlier.

Cautioning that Phyllis Abbott is adjusting to his son "in small bites", Mr. Abbott indicated that from here on out there shall be no retreat from the bold commitment he and his wife made last fall to secure their happiness.

Unable to see what the mother of his child is doing, Abbott is determined to overcome traditional resistance and prepared to move forward. To that end he seems satisfied that even if Diane Jenkins takes the boy and moves away it won't matter because his wife has bonded with his son "as a family."

Her shaken confidence rejuvenated, Phyllis Abbott now says she went about trying to get rid of Jenkins the wrong way. She had no idea that bonding with the woman's son would have such a positive impact. The experience was so rewarding Mrs. Abbott feels that after a few more bonding spells she'll be nominated step-mother of the year.

"Ever so slowly I’m going to pull the rug out on Diane Jenkins and my husband will be more in love with me than ever!" the exuberant Abbott said.

Socialites in Genoa City like to pretend, almost biblically, that there is nothing under the sun they can't handle. "I have Diane strung up like as side of bacon," says the confident Mrs. Abbott. But just when she thinks Jenkins is under her thumb the sperm thief will reinvent herself as a new and deadly species. The Abbott pool house squatter said this week that she should be living with Jack Abbott as a family and that she will not let Abbott's wife use her son.

The War of the Abbotts is a most tragic example of a pattern of unacceptable conduct which neither side can win. As their hatred rages one can only wonder why, after the fuss he's made, Jack Abbott would be willing to let the kid go. And under what circumstances would Jenkins be willing to go without the man she loves.

Could it be - just once - that these spiteful people will put their differences aside out of consideration for the boy? What a concept!

July 25, 2002

'Mom' fantasizes about sex with child!
by Brent Kellogg

Not since the incestuous affairs between members of the Winters clan has there ever been such a blatant demonstration of incest as was witnessed Thursday at the Abbott Hotel.

Having convinced herself that another woman's son has found a place in her heart, the baroness Phyllis Abbott assured her husband that her effort to bond with his son is serious. Confessing that she had doubts about her ability to be a good mother, Mrs. Abbott declared that after only one bonding session her motherly skills were returning. In fact, she was so certain she proclaimed the boy "is my son."

Wired to feel emotions more intensely and remember them more vividly, Mrs. Abbott must have believed for a moment that women are the superior sex and that the warm and fuzzy bonding session she had gone through qualified her as far superior to most when it comes to getting kinky.

Misogynists would have been hard pressed to use Abbott's subsequent sexual fury to support the old argument that women are too high-strung, thin-skinned and brooding to be trusted.

Alone with her husband, Abbott was decked out in a bra and not much else helping her man get his pants off when she began to fantasize that her "son" had aged to between ten and thirteen years and they were all living at the Abbott Hotel as one big happy family.

Pretending to be concerned that the boy was in his room just down the hall, Mrs. Abbott whispered that her sexual antics might be disturbing for a kid at a "difficult age" and worried that his not knowing about the birds and the bees might be confusing.

Joining in on the fantasy, Jack Abbott boasted that his son might be brighter than mommy dearest thinks and suddenly realized that his wife was serious about having sex while the boy listened from afar.

"You bet!" Mrs. Abbott confirmed as she took the fantasy to the next level by imagining that while fixing the kid's school lunch he called her "mom."

While there's is nothing wrong with sexual fantasies, inserting an underage member of the family into the fantasy is just plain repulsive. There can be no doubt - based on Mrs. Abbott's description - that knowing a young boy is listening to her have sex was an incredible turn on.

Such an event might be a turn on for a boy of that age provided the adults were unaware of his listening. But to suggest the opposite is nothing less than incest and Mr. Abbott should have been very concerned, However, Jack Abbott could only think how wonderful it was that his wife had seen the bonding session as "a new beginning for all of us" and when she said that the boy "is my son too", Abbott almost had another orgasm.

"He is one lucky kid," said Abbott adding that his wife is, "an amazing lady."

July 24, 2002

Deadbeat mom bonds with step-baby
by Michael Kelly

After self indulgently spewing self pity due to her unconscionable negligence as a mother, Phyllis Abbott decided the best way to atone for her past parenting sins would be to break bread with her husband Jack's recently discovered son.

Ridiculously disconcerted at the thought of sharing a meal with her gurgling stepson Baby K, Phyllis really became a basket case when she discovered a photo of Daniel, the son she abandoned years before.

The snapshot caused the redhead to remember Daniel's christening.

Following the flashback, Phyll began to mumble out loud about the bittersweet memory as former Abbott old maid and eternal squatter PainMe Johnson waddled into Mrs. Abbott's room.

Instead of questioning the woman's sanity, Johnson merely inquired if Abbott was all right.

Phyllis confided that she was due to dine with her baby freak hubby's son, and she's apprehensive about it.

PainMe muttered that the redhead was one hell of a sport to share a meal with the child of the dreaded Diane Jenkins.

Mrs. Abbott admitted that she abhors the hobbling houseguest from hell, but added, "Kyle is Jack's son, too. I think it's time I found a place for him in my heart."

Johnson sweetly smiled at her sugary statement, but Phyllis felt the need to whine about the agony of the son she chose to abandon several years ago when full custody of the boy was granted to her one hit wonder, rock n' rolling ex, Danny Romalotti.

The fat former domestic expressed the sympathy Abbott waited and longed to here, but the flawed mom moaned, "What's to apologize for? I don't have the greatest track record with kids!"

To pile more manufactured pathos onto their pow-wow, Phyllis handed her son's picture to PainMe, who proclaimed, "He's handsome. How old is he?"

Abbott answered that Daniel will be 9 in August, and went on to whine that when she received the snapshot, she "buried it" in her dresser drawer. Looking at the boy's picture was too damn painful.

Knowing Johnson would eventually utter something stupid to make her emotional bruises all better, Phyll fretted, "I've failed as a mother."

On the heels of her amazingly accurate self assessment, Abbott absurdly added, "He's got this whole life ahead of him, and I just can't be a part of it."

Right on cue, the corpulent old cow cooed that the more time Phyllis spends with Baby K, the easier it will be for her to "forget" the pain of the past. In fact, the sperm thief's son will soon feel like her very own offspring!

The peculiar pep talk complete, Mrs. Abbott strolled downstairs to take on sharing take-out food with the tyke.

As Jacko placed the brat in her arms, Phyllis looked like the kid was about to crap on her. Anxious to unload the brat, Phyll offered to fetch the food, but her hubby saw to that.

Once Baby K was settled into his high chair, daddy dearest tried to enrich the child's vocabulary by brainlessly babbling, "Can you say pasta?" and then "how about noodle?"

When Phyllis tried to tempt the tyke with a bite of the tantalizing tapeworm pasta, the child took one bite, but frowned at the second spoonful, and turned his head to the side.

A discouraged Mrs. Abbott dismally declared, "he doesn't like me."

In a foolish attempt to boost the barren woman's spirits, Jack sputtered, "He's a baby. He doesn't know what like is. The question is, do you like him?"

Before Phyll had to answer the loaded question, the baby freak got a business call and left the room.

In her hubby's absence, the redhead scooped up the sperm thief's son, and the two played let's stare at the ceiling.

When Jacko returned and saw the syrupy scene, he was pleased as punch as his spouse sputtered that Baby K likes her and she digs him!

As Phyllis kissed the chubby cherub's cheeks, Mr. Abbott embraced them both. Unbeknownst to the enthralled threesome, Diane the peg leg had hobbled to the doorway and scowled at the sugary sight of the touchy-feely group hug.

While it temporarily appears that Mrs. Abbott has successfully won over her slobbering stepson, only a heartless bitch would attempt to get over giving up her own son by cloyingly kissing up to someone else's.

And PainMe is a moron for wheezing warm fuzzies to Phyllis when what the wayward mother needed is an industrial strength smack upside the head.

Johnson is certainly an authority when it comes to emotionally adopting another woman's children as her own.

Thirty something years ago, she happily played the role of mother hen to the hilt after Dina Abbott abandoned her young-un. The fact that the old maid had designs on boss man Yawn's bones didn't hurt!

Since PainMe always despised Dina's desertion of the Abbott children, it made no sense for her to coddle Phyll for neglecting Daniel.

Johnson should have told the barren redhead point blank that instead of almost killing herself to pop out a brand spanking new spawn, or befriending the sperm thief's son, her time and energies would have been far better spent visiting her own.

Contrary to what Abbott says, she can be a part of her boy's life.

But she much prefers to pitifully play the victim while playing up to Peg Leg's kid to piss the woman off and placate her spouse. Diane Jenkins is a largely loathsome creature, but at least she's never been a deadbeat parent.

July 17, 2002

Abbott house rules
by Michael Kelly

Smug as can be after her 50 year old, baby freak husband Jack laid down the law to their hobbling house guest from hell, part-time webmaster and full-time doormat Phyllis Abbott gratefully played kissy-face with her spouse while ignoring the fact that it is her marriage that's in the doghouse.

Mrs. Abbott engaged the squatting scheming sperm thief Diane "Peg Leg" Jenkins in benign conversation, but left her with the subtle, but unmistakable impression that her attempted reconciliation with Jacko hadn't been successful due to all of the tension in the Abbott abode.

Pleasantly vowing to do all she could to make the warped living arrangement work, the idle architect was tickled when Phyll mentioned that changes were imminent. Peg Leg obviously believed the Abbott union was fractured beyond repair.

When Mr. Abbott entered the living room and sternly stated that he wanted to speak to the sperm thief "alone," Phyll meekly made her exit, while wily Jenkins must have wanted to do a cartwheel in anticipation of what she thought she'd hear.

Alas, Peg Leg's bubble was quickly burst when Abbott announced, "Starting today, you are not free to come here as you please."

Once Jenkins picked up her dropped jaw from the rug, the Jabot CEO continued explaining the new set of Abbott House Rules that were to be strictly enforced.

From now on, the sperm thief will enter the Abbott main house only occasionally to raid the fridge and pantry. Even then, she'll have to phone first to make an appointment.

Since the outhouse has its own potty and a small shower the size of a foot locker, Peg Leg will have no need to use the Abbott abode's facilities.

As for the adorable Baby K, he's predictably welcome anywhere on the premises at all times. He can even sit on his daddy's lap while Jacko takes a dump.

However, Abbott announced that Pain Me Johnson, the former old maid turned senior squatter, who gets the enviable task of hauling the brat from the outhouse to the main house.

No need for Diane to show her ugly face. Someone will be kind enough to call her before dropping by to pick up the darling diaper boy.

Warden Abbott stressed that Jenkins' privacy will be respected at all times. No one will stop by the pool shack unannounced to annoy her.

Despite the fact that she was just made to feel lower than a snake's belly, Peg Leg's only expressed concern was whether or not Mrs. Abbott would be a good girl.

Phyll eavesdropped from the dining room as her husband assured Diane that the absurd Abbott House Rules were his wife's inspired idea. Either everyone makes this awful arrangement work, or they all "go down in flames."

Pleased as punch, the redhead strolled in and asked if her hubby and the hobbling one were through chatting. If not, she'd gladly go shopping.

Jacko said there was no need to leave. Treating her like a rebellious teeny bopper, Mr. Abbott inquired if the idle architect had any questions or comments.

Since the pissed off, pouting woman had nothing to add, she staggered back to the outhouse like the unwelcome outcast
she is after insincerely wishing the Abbott asses a nice day.

Putting past domestic goddesses like Mrs. Cleaver to shame, Mrs. Abbott arrogantly described herself as a "saint" for sweetly swallowing all of the foul fecal matter her hubby and the Jenkins jerk shoved down her throat.

Longing to hear that the man she's catered to has been a selfish bastard, Phyll merely asked him to admit that he could have handled the unpleasantness with more finesse.

In response, Jack-ass reluctantly jabbered, "It's true. I could have handled this situation better. I've admitted that before."

Not quite satisfied, the little woman pressed her hubby into uttering the words, "All right. A lot better."

With that, and a sloppy smooch from her mouse of a mate, Mrs. Abbott felt like a triumphantly new woman.

Too bad Phyllis' victory is half-baked at best. What has this wigged-out wimp of a woman really won here?

Her husband's still a baby freak who cares next to nothing about his wife, and the pesky pariah Peg Leg is still only a stone's throw away.

Not to mention the fact that the step-son she despises or at least resents will be around even more now that her ridiculous rules have been put into effect.

Speaking of those asinine Abbott House Rules, what makes Phyllis think that devious Diane will abide by them. If she doesn't, it's hard to believe her husband will toss Jenkins and Baby K out on their keisters.

It's time for the misguided Mrs. Abbott to face the cold, hard facts. Until Peg Leg is dead, or at least out of Genoa City, her marriage is on its last legs.

July 15, 2002

Stop the insanity!
by Michael Kelly

While pacing alone in her Newman Enterprises office and pathologically plotting the grisly demise of the squatting sperm thief that has invaded her home and marriage, unhinged part-time webmaster Phyllis Abbott was eerily visited by an imaginary apparition that bore an uncanny resemblance to Abbott herself!

After pounding the keys of her computer in frustration, Abbott got up from her desk and welcomed Diane Jenkins, the woman who wasn't there.

Jenkins announced her intention to "make peace" with Phyllis because their mutual animosity was hurting Abbott's baby freak spouse Jack and the rest of his clan.

Being a "reasonable person," Mrs. Abbott graciously agreed and suggested that they toast their cease fire with a glass of juice.

Once the two women toasted to "better times," Jenkins asked what the refreshing concoction was.

Phyllis described it as a "new fruit combination loaded with vitamins" as Diane heartily chug-a-lugged the berry beverage.

All of a sudden, the idle architect gurgled, "Phyllis," and grabbed her throat as the crutches she'd been hobbling on fell to the floor right before Jenkins herself collapsed!

Alone again after emerging from her heinous hallucination, the wacky redhead rambled, "That's the only way I'll have any peace, Diane. With me alive and you six feet under!"

Abbott stomped around the room while frantically foaming at the mouth in a frenzied effort to formulate a fail-safe, homicidal solution to the squatting sperm thief situation.

The whacked-out web wiz considered "strangling the smug look off the bitch's face," burying the proverbial hatchet in her skull, and "hammering rusty nails into her eyes."

Out of the blue, Abbott was interrupted by a bogus broad in a black suit, sensible spectacles, and a business-like bun. Despite a disconcerting lack of sex appeal, the phantom woman was the spitting image of Phyllis!

Figment Phyll informed the real Phyllis that Jenkins intentionally allowed Abbott's car to crunch her leg, but the barren woman replied that she already knew that!

Wallowing in a defeatist's attitude, Phyllis insipidly asked the figment if she'll still be a "babe" many years from now when she finally gets over losing Jacko!

Fig didn't want Abbott to "roll over on her yellow belly" in the belief that her marriage is doomed.

The ingratiating ghost advised that if Mrs. Abbott can't beat the bitch, she should join her, adding, "Kyle is your stepson. It's about time you start using that."

At that point, Fig Phyll disappeared and a confused Phyllis fretted about her imaginary friend's whereabouts.

The Figment reappeared inside Abbott's computer, and then popped back into the office to explain her strategy.

Faux Phyll announced that the troubled woman needs to use "emotional judo" to abolish the idle architect. Emotional judo requires one to employ "elegant moves that use other people's method's to trip them up."

To clarify her pretentious prattling, Phantom Phyll spelled it out. Phyllis needs to spend lots of time with the Baby K brat, which will thrill her hubby and piss off Diane.

With that, the unreal nuisance vanished permanently, which caused Abbott to screech, "Hey! Come back!"

Back at the Abbott abode, Jacko jabbered to Jenkins that Phyllis had flown the coop, while Diane pretended to be sympathetic.

As soon as the male menopausal baby freak went up to bed to lick his wounds privately, prodigal Phyllis pranced back into the Abbott homestead, perkily greeted Jenkins, and announced that she's come home again!

If it's Phyllis Abbott's intention to follow in the teeth gnashing, shrieking, and delusional footsteps of such past local lunatics as Tricia Dennison, Gary Dawson, Mari-Jo Mason, and Leanna "Love" Randolph, she's well on her way to achieving her ambitious goal!

Since Dennison, Dawson, and Mason are currently wearing strait-jackets and taking up space in the Genoa City Rubber Room, Phyllis certainly wouldn't want for psychotic friends!

Some would say that Mrs. Abbott has been on the brink of a breakdown for some time.

This is a woman who has put a live octopus in a couple's bed, rigged two paternity tests, blackmailed her shrink, and possibly torched a hotel room, which resulted in a woman's death. And she even deliberately ran two people down with a car!

Perhaps the most alarming sign that Phyllis is drastically disturbed is the fact that she has chosen to stay married to a man who far prefers his recently discovered son to his own wife, and allows the child's malevolent mother to taint the sanctity of their home and marriage.

A sane, or at least secure woman would never allow such a thing. Furthermore, only an unabashedly unbalanced woman would heed the absurd advice of her own annoying apparition when her alter-ego is even more of a mental case than she is.

July 9, 2002

Get rid of the bitch!
by Brent Kellogg

Every scandal in Genoa City produces at least one classic and defining euphemism -- a judiciously chosen word or phrase diligently employed to sugarcoat the sour reality.

In the case of baby infatuated Jack Abbott the list of phrases seems to be endless.

"My wife’s not handling this very well. Are you sure this [shutting down the Glow Worms] is the right thing?" Abbott asked his father this week.

Abbott's statement is inoperative for two reasons:

A - It's not the Glow Worms his wife isn't taking well.
B - Abbott himself once said that shutting down the Worms was a good thing because the voyeurism in America was sick and getting out of hand.

Old man Yawn Abbott shutting down the greasy worms is the best decision the old fart has made since kicking his cradle-robbing wife to the curb. One year of the worms was repulsive. Two years was nauseating. Three years would be an act of terrorism.

Jack Abbott's ho-hum shrugging and acting as though he cannot understand why his wife is upset that he's allowing the mother of his baby to stay at their home is about as believable as George Bush vowing to make those corporate villains pay for the highway robbery inflicted on their investors.

"Do me a favor. You run the company. I’ll run my marriage," Abbott told his father in an utterly unconvincing attempt to show he has a handle on an out of control situation.

Asked by his son's wife to intervene and do something about that bitch squatting in the pool house, old man Abbott acted like a man who's been castrated. Who me? Get involved. Can't do it. Wouldn't be prudent.

Mrs. Abbott did the right thing by packing her bags and getting as far away from what is coming dangerously close to a sick incestuous situation. Given her manipulative ability, Diane Jenkins will be literally screwing Abbott and maybe even the old man will join in if left alone in the home without Mrs. Abbott as a chaperone.

And where are the other Abbott residents and why haven't they objected to what has to be an intolerable mess? Why hasn't live-in over stayed her VISA house guest PainMe Johnson stepped in? The former old maid could drive Jenkins out in a heart beat. How can Billy Abbott and Colleen Carlton stand the tension?

When one wants something done right the best policy is to do it one's self. That's why Mrs. Abbott will return. Unfortunately, the woman doesn't have a plan. Like a dog that knows it done wrong by peeing on the carpet, Mrs. Abbott will beg for her husband's forgiveness and offer up a weak compromise.

The deal: Jenkins is restricted to the pool house. No entering the main house.

Those rules should keep Jenkins in her place alright. No doubt who the tough cop on the beat is in the Abbott household.

Mrs. Abbott is fooling herself if she thinks her unassertive milksop husband will do anything to remedy an unlivable predicament. A woman capable of getting her hands on weapons of mass destruction, Mrs. Abbott should get her ass to the nearest car rental pronto and put an end to Jenkins.

With the incompetent law enforcement in this city her crime will go unsolved, the Jenkins baby will be awarded to the father and Mr. and Mrs. Jack Abbott will live happily ever after - or at least until the next crisis strikes.

July 9, 2002

Irate redhead leaves baby freak hubby
by Michael Kelly

Sick and tired of sharing the Abbott homestead with her husband Jack's infant son, the child's squatting, scheming mother, and a senile father-in-law, fed up Phyllis Abbott packed up and abandoned her selfish, baby freak spouse.

Before making her moving decision, Phyll flew off the handle at her enabling, milquetoast father-in-law, Jabot founder John "Yawn" Abbott, for allowing the Abbott abode to become a "Shelter For Wayward Bitches!"

When Yawn timidly and typically tried to shrug off the insane situation, the redhead ranted, "Why would you want to get in the middle of it? It's only your house!"

Since the old man could have gotten rid of Diane Jenkins months ago but didn't, paranoid Phyll assumed it was because Yawn preferred that his middle-aged son spend his life with the sperm thief!

Making an utter fool of herself, the part-time web master accused her father-in-law of thinking that Jenkins is a woman who met Yawn's high "Abbottonian standards" for his son's soul mate since she's "Miss Country Club, Miss Social Register, Miss La-Dee-Da!"

Delusional and desperate for the elder Abbott's approval, Phyll whined, "I never even had a chance, did I?"

Rather than suggest she seek a vacant rubber room, Yawn claimed he didn't want the wicked outhouse occupant there any more than she did.

Struggling to rationalize his pathetic passivity, Abbott groaned, "Of course I could pull rank, but my son would accuse me of not trusting him and he'd be right."

Yawn urged his ballistic daughter-in-law to trust her husband. He's sure Jacko will make the evil woman and her brat go away, but Phyll felt her spouse was bound to "cave."

Unfortunately, Mrs. Abbott knows her emasculated man all too well.

In the Abbott outhouse, Jenkins jabbered to Jacko that it would be an "answered prayer" if she and their son Baby K could stay until her injured leg healed.

Jack made the mistake of admitting to the sperm thief that the outhouse wouldn't be needed this summer because of the Glow Worm debacle's cancellation.

All Jenkins needed to do is promise to behave herself around crazy Phyllis and point out that the brat Jack was holding in his hot little hands should remain his "first priority."

When Jacko returned to the main house, he tried to assure his wife that he wants to get beyond their miserable marital woes, but Mrs. Abbott demanded that he "cut to the chase." Would the "viper" remain on the premises?

Once her stubborn spouse stated, "Diane is staying," Phyll stalked upstairs, packed a bag, and stridently strutted toward the front door.

No mental giant, Mr. Abbott had to inquire, "What are you doing?"

Not mincing words, Phyllis fumed, "What does it look like? You made your choice. Diane is staying, so I'm leaving!"

Perturbed at finally not being able to have his cake and eat it too, Abbott angrily slammed the door as his barren bride went bye-bye.

There's certainly no question that Phyllis did the right thing by walking out on her heel of a husband, but she's hardly the heroine she thinks she is.

The woman clearly needed a smack upside the head for irrationally ranting and raving at her feeble minded father-in-law.

Phyllis should remember that while Yawn is a fool to allow the sperm thief to use his property as a rent free flop house, Mrs. Abbott benefited from a similar arrangement when the old man let his middle-aged son shack up with Phyll under his own roof before the two were hitched.

Either the elder Abbott gets his wrinkled rocks off on such kinkyness going on around him, or he's too decrepit mentally and physically to put a stop to the shameful shenanigans.

July 5, 2002

It was an accident - really - it was!
"I ran over the bitch with my car. It broke her hoof, er, I mean leg," said the baroness Phyllis Abbott of sperm thief Diane Jenkins Friday as the unwanted guest returned to the Abbott Hotel with her leg in a cast.

"She’s playing it for the sympathy vote," said Abbott who backed over Jenkins earlier in the week.

Describing her action as a case of triumph of good over evil, Abbott maintained it really was an accident.

"You bet it was! If I’d planned it I would have mowed the cow down."

June 17, 2002

How to cook a goose!
by Brent Kellogg

May 31, 2002

Evil unleashed!
by Doris Hill

May 23, 2002

Abbott vows 'evil' woman will go down!
Reeling from the discovery that home wrecker and sperm thief Diane Jenkins knows she cannot have children, Mrs. Phyllis Abbott said Thursday she will "take that bitch down."

Abandoned by all but a few allies, Abbott informed attorney Michael Baldwin she has not been able to think of anything to prevent Jenkins from stealing her husband "short of strangling the bitch."

To accomplish her goal Abbott is expected to employ random acts of terror.

May 20, 2002

Conspiracy theory

By Michael Kelly

Still smarting after attorney Michael Baldwin "ripped her apart" in court during the 'Baby K' tug of love, Newman Enterprises' paranoid webmaster Phyllis Abbott accused Baldwin of being in cahoots with his law partner and her nemesis, Christine "Bug" Blair, to orchestrate Abbott's recent unraveling on the witness stand.

When Baldwin arrived in the woman's NE office, Phyllis wasted no time telling her former friend to get lost. The rude and hostile woman called Mikey "a breathing, living dummy." The kind made out of wood. A man who "speaks someone else's words, and thinks someone else's thoughts."

Obviously, Abbott was implying that Michael had been sitting in the blessed Bug's lap while her hand was up the man's back.

Ignoring Phyllis' brainless babbling, Baldwin warned her that Baby K's malevolent mother, Diane Jenkins wouldn't be returning to Milan with her bambino because she was out of a job. Furthermore, he did some checking. It turns out that the sperm thief lied to him about being ousted from her position. The wench must have a wicked agenda brewing concerning Abbott's husband Jack, who is Baby K's daddy.

Abbott wasn't worried. She knows her man. Jacko loves her and only her. Let the Jenkins bitch plot and scheme her little black heart out. It won't amount to squat.

Claiming she had work to do, Phyllis threw Mikey out of her office. Once she was alone, Abbott began to fuss and fret. What if Baldwin was right?

It appeared as though Mrs. Abbott would soon have her questions answered when Jacko himself dropped by. He wanted to discuss a proposition with his wife concerning Jenkins and his son. Perhaps Phyllis now has something real to fear and dread.

The problem with delusional, paranoia plagued conspiracy theorists like Phyllis Abbott is that they can't see the forest through the trees. Their mixed up minds are so full of catastrophes and persecution complexes of their own creation that they're unable to recognize terrorists who pose terrifyingly true threats to their well being.

Instead of putting the fear of God into the woman who could destroy her marriage, Abbott preferred to throw a snit fit at her only true friend, and hurl around ridiculous accusations.

If she were thinking rationally, Phyllis would have remembered that Michael Baldwin is no puppet. He's a puppet master who's always pulling the strings of others. Furthermore, the crusading critter he works with hasn't given Mrs. Abbott a sustained thought in years. For having believed otherwise, the raving redhead should get her Prozac prescription refilled.

May 13, 2002

Slap happy

by Michael Kelly

March 25
Hunt for killer will go on!
Mrs. Phyllis Abbott reaffirmed Monday that the mysterious circumstances surrounding the death of her one and only friend will go on.

March 22, 2002
Searching for the Holy Grail

by Brent Kellogg

Mrs. Phyllis Abbott broke down bawling Friday after learning that Malcolm Winters died recently while on a trip in Africa.

"My best friend can't be dead," Abbott lamented before blasting Winters' fiancée, Alex Perez, for not calling her.

"I would have come to help find my friend," Abbott howled.

How Winters became Abbott's "best friend" is sketchy. The couple had dinner together on a couple of occasions. If this made them best buds it doesn't say much for Abbott's ability to make friends and influence people.

Upon her return to Genoa City in July, 2000, it was clear Abbott's personality disorder had not diminished. Stuck in a stupid rut, the then Mrs. Summers paraded into Jack Abbott's and was surprised Mr. Abbott didn't seem to recognize her. "Do you remember me?" she asked.

How could Mr. Abbott have forgotten? Before leaving town Summers gave him some of the best sex he had ever had. Abbott shrugged his memory loss off on her maiden name. Her face was the same but the name Summers threw him for a loop. So he said.

Mrs. Abbott's offer to join the search team in Africa was another example of her neurosis. Imagining her out in the jungle wearing high-heels, breaking nails and stopping every five minutes to adjust her makeup is laughable.

To her credit, Mrs. Abbott has confirmed GCN suspicion that Winters death was no accident. She made it clear to Perez on Friday that something is amiss. "I know about you and Neil. I overheard that conversation you two had. Are you hiding something from me?" she badgered Perez.

As reported, it is unlikely Perez had anything to do with Winters death. On the other hand, that skunk Neil Winters knows more than he's telling.

Thursday, 02.21.02
Double-Cross!
The Genoa City News has learned the barren Mrs. Jack Abbott will come to the aid of sperm thief Diane Jenkins when Jenkins decides to flee Genoa City in violation of a court order!

Abbott's plan is thought to involve sneaking Jenkins out of the city after learning that Jenkins' baby, Kyle Newman, was spawned using her husband's sperm. Distraught that Jack Abbott plans to seek full custody of the child, Mrs. Abbott will appear before Jenkins as a freedom fighter seeking truth and justice.

Warned that leaving the city could make her situation dire, Jenkins will be blinded by what she perceives as a spark of sanity and a ray of hope for her son's future.

According to GCNews gossip expert Deep Throat, "Outside Michael Baldwin, Jenkins doesn't know who to trust. She's worried Abbott will do anything to get even with her including paying off a judge to get what he wants. At this frantic time in her life, Diane sees Phyllis as her only logical choice."

Because gossip has a way of creating false thoughts, Deep Throat cautions she only knows what she hears around the water cooler.

"None of this is carved in stone. Nobody gave me a script and said here's what's gonna happen. When people drink water they talk and I'm there to listen. It's perfectly logical. Phyllis could never live with Jack if he gets the kid. Each time she sees Kyle she'll think of Diane. Even if it means Jack can't have the one thing he wants most in this world, the one thing Phyllis wants is Jack. Keeping Kyle away from Jack would be her best bet unless, and this is hard to fathom, Phyllis has begun thinking about someone other than herself," says Throat.

But Mrs. Abbott could be up to her old tricks. If she isn't, what was she doing snooping around inside a doctor's office?

Friday, 02.15.02
Adoption? Not in Genoa City!
Being desperate to provide her new husband with the baby he's always wanted doesn't mean Phyllis Abbott will go to any lengths. She tried in vitro fertilization which didn't work the first time and was willing to take a stab at the process again even if it meant killing herself.

The need for a baby to make her life complete has caused Mrs. Abbott to become so distraught she's toying with the suggestion of a surrogate mother despite its many risks.

But mention the word adoption and Abbott's hair will stand on end. No way! Who in hell wants one of the millions of unwanted children in this country? Not the rich and powerful Abbotts who would much rather add to the population with a true red-blooded Abbott. No off the beaten path kids for them. Why, there's no telling where some of them have been.

Thursday, 01.31.02
A message from God?
It's always amazing how some people in Genoa City think they are better than others. For all her evil doing, Phyllis Abbott had the audacity to say Friday that Diane Jenkins "is a woman with no love in her life and she has this beautiful baby boy. We have oodles of love and no child."

If Abbott's whine was an attempt to muster sympathy for her barren belly it flopped big time.

Mrs. Abbott bemoans she wants a baby so desperately but has taken no action to communicate with the child she gave up without much of a fight years ago. In addition, Abbott is suspected of killing Sasha Green and attempted to murder or maim detective Paul 'Clueless' Williams and the Christine 'Bug" Romalotti.

Maybe God is sending Mrs. Abbott a message. What goes around, comes around.

Thursday, 01.31.02
Cat-fight erupts at law office
After so many outbursts by unstable adults creeping out in their offices why does the law firm of Baldwin & Williams continue allowing access to the trouble makers?

Medical experts are hoping they don't have a case of Deja Voodoo on their hands and that the new Mrs. Abbott can get past her dilemma and on with her life.

 
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