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See also: Neil Winters Dru Winters Lily Winters Olivia Winters Japan trip

Winters Family History

The greatest gift of all
December 30, 2003

Genoa City socialite Neil Winters stunned the real estate industry this week by announcing that in just the one week he was in Japan not only did he manage to remodel the wooden box he calls home but purchased the apartment next door, remodeled it, had the two merged into one and closed escrow in less than 30-days!

Winters did not provide details of the transaction which had home buyers who have been waiting weeks to close escrow scratching their heads.

"This is really on point," surprised recycled bride Dru Winters was heard to mutter. Although exactly how any apartment can be on point was not immediately clear Mrs Winters declared the apartment merger an "amazing gift" and the perfect place to start a new life which will be pretty much like the old life.

Also stunned was Winter's daughter, Lily who was so impressed with what a crew of carpenters were able to pull off in seven days she vowed to attend church on New Year's Day to thank the gods for giving her such a loving mother and father. The STD-carrying fifteen-year-old also promised that right after praying she'd get back to seeking revenge against the man she claims infected her.

To celebrate, the Winters ordered carbohydrate-saturated pizza with extra pepperoni.

Winters re-wed, say this time for keeps
December 23, 2003

JAPAN - Mr. and Mrs. Neil Winters were officially married again here Tuesday in a lavish ceremony beset by the usual craziness in keeping with Genoa City tradition.

Proclaiming themselves to be "a family again", giddy bride Dru Winters told the groom that it had finally dawned on her late in the game that something was missing from her cold heart and that something was Neil Winters whom she vowed never to take for granted again and hinted that should he demand it would be willing to learn that her place is in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant.

Noting that until his former wife had dumped the good life she was living in Paris and the man who gave up his medical practice to be at her beck and call, Mr. Winters said he had been nothing but a falling down drunk. Now, thanks to a miracle he has everything he had before and then some and promised, "this time it's for keeps."

The forced, somewhat devoid of emotional electricity event was marred by a fight over the bridal bouquet when guest Vanessa Lerner presumed to be entitled to it ordered escort Damon Porter to snatch it from the estranged wife of Mr. Winters' best man, Phyllis Abbott.

Saying she had caught it fair and square, Mrs. Abbott rejected Porters demand and subsequently had to prevent Jack Abbott from trying to get the bouquet away from her too.

Confusion over Winters wedding locale
by Vicki Johns
December 12, 2003

Lots has been said about the Ryukyu Islands (aka Ryuku Islands) lately. We've been led to believe it's kind of like a glamorous, mysterious kind of place, eh? Surely, it is a spot romantic and lush and full of rainforests and populated by unique animal, vegetable and mineral forms.

Stop right there!

Chances are great you've heard of the Ryukyu Islands. And they aren't some mystical, undiscovered utopia of peace, harmony and quiet. They've got quite a background, and unless you slept through history class or never watched the History Channel, you do know them. For some of the bloodiest battles of World War II were fought right in their midst. To this day, the United States military maintains a strong presence in the Ryukyu Islands.

So what individual islands actually comprise the Ryukyu chain? Amami Oshima, Iriomote-jima, Ishigaki-jima, Torishima, and oh, yes, one other, the largest and most populated of the Ryukyu Islands. OKINAWA. As in the BATTLE OF OKINAWA, the bloodiest battle of the Pacific War, where 12,000 Americans lost their lives and another 38,000 were wounded. So horrific was the cost of this battle that it was said to weigh heavily in the decision to use the atomic bomb against Japan just six weeks later.

Brings back fond memories, huh? Gosh, not so romantic a wedding venue now, is it? Unless you like getting married in grave yards. Yeah, and when's the last time you heard of someone going to Okinawa for a vacation, let alone a wedding?

But that was a long time ago, you may say. Look at Hawaii, it's a popular and gorgeous vacation destination place, and that's where WWII actually started. True, but then again we've always called Hawaii - Hawaii, now, haven't we? We didn't revert to calling them The Sandwich Islands in order to erase the unpleasant memory of young boys being blown to bits, did we?

Damn good thing Vanessa Lerner didn't find her miracle flower in Hanoi, huh? Can you hear Drucilla Winters trying to explain to Neil why she'd always dreamed of getting married in Vietnam? Ditto for Beirut, Tehran, Kabul or Baghdad.

But maybe the wedding isn't taking place on Okinawa, which will cause trouble for Wally, since it's the only island with a real airport. Maybe it's taking place on Amami Oshima or Ishigaki-jima, and the two hotels per island there really are totally booked; Torishima seems to actually have no hotels; and lastly, Iriomote-jima's first four-story hotel is still under construction. And if Okinawa's 10,000 plus hotel rooms really are booked, forcing Phyllis and Jack Abbott to share a hotel room, then obviously America has done a fabulous job of rebuilding THAT country . . .

Hopefully the wedding isn't taking place on Okinawa, but on one of the other islands and this is the scribe's way of skirting a memory still painful for many Americans. But wherever it is, it would be nice to know exactly which island it IS on. If only to hear Damon Porter pronounce it. Or try to.

Weird weddings
by Vicki Johns
December 10, 2003

Let's just get right to the point here. There's a long list of people who actually SHOULD be going to the Winters wedding, but not only are they not going, no explanation has been offered as to why they are NOT going. Who are these folks? That annoying little part of life called obnoxious and dysfunctional blood relatives.

Let's start with the parents. Parents of the bridal party are usually a must have at the wedding. Unless they are dead, incarcerated, or guilty of child molestation, they are there. Who knows why? Maybe parents have earned the sick pleasure of watching their own kids walk the same plank they were stupid enough to years before. But not once, in the Keystone Kops routine otherwise known as the Winters marriage preparations, have Lilly Belle and Walter Barber ever been mentioned.

And what about Neil's parents? No big surprise there. Neil and his brother Malcolm are either aliens or one of those weird amoeba things that self-forms in salt water, lands on a rock, wherefore the sun makes the cells divide and multiply until you have some icky kind of life form. Remember Malcolm's funeral? The parents weren't there. They weren't even mentioned, so no big deal, why should they come to Neil's wedding? If these people are dead, could we at least be told they are dead? Or insatiable drunkards? Or members of Al-Qaeda? Something?

Certainly times have changed – somewhere along the line it became chic for bridesmaids to wear black, for couples to pay outrageous sums to total strangers to stage their wedding so it ends up having the same amount of class as a high school musical, and maternity bridal dresses are old hat. But some things don't change and one of them includes having your parents at your wedding. And yeah, that applies to morality-warped Genoa City, too.

Then of course, there's little Nate Hastings. Nate hasn't been heard of since around the time the U.S. had a balanced budget. Nobody knows where he is, nobody asks about him, nobody seems to remember the kid even existed. Wherever he is, hopefully he's off with Malcolm fighting big game in the African bush. Malcolm, after all, was the only dude who actually gave a rat's ass about Nate. The fact that it's his only aunt's wedding, that it will nearly be Christmas – all irrelevant.

Now, of course, Olivia Winters is coming, as she damn well should be. Originally offering the excuse that her schedule was too full, she's now magically "cleared it." Translation: all the people she was scheduled to kill for that week were moved up, and their funerals are being planned as we speak. And what about Wesley Carter? Gee, not only is the baby-faced shrink going to marry Olivia, he is also supposedly a dear friend of both the bride and her daughter. Guess it's easy to lose a kid, there's those famous boarding schools in Switzerland. But how do you lose a grown, educated doctor your sister is engaged to? This guy is so insignificant he could commit murder and Det. Weber wouldn't give him a ticket for it.

And last, but not least, there's beloved Aunt Mamie Johnson. Where has she been lately? What? Gina Roma moves into the Abbott house and Mamie moves to the pool house? Someone ought to tell Mamie this is not 1780, her name is not Sally Hemmings, and to tell John Abbott to go screw himself if that's the case. Aunt Mamie has always been fully capable of being a Major Buttinski. There's no way in hell she'd willingly miss out on a wedding like this, and courtesy Jill Abbott, she's got the cash to go. It's not as if she doesn't know about the wedding, why her dear Jackie Boy Abbott is going, despite the fact that the company he's leading is teetering on the threshold of bankruptcy.

However, maybe the extended Winters family can see the photos that close and beloved friends like Damon Porter, Phyllis Abbott, and Vanessa Lehner will take . . . after all, what family member actually wants to personally witness one of their own in a virtual train wreck?

THE WINTERS CLAN SHAMEFUL LEGACY

March 11, 2003

When her advances on Nathan Hastings were rejected, uneducated illiterate Dru Winters gave up on her sister's husband, took a liking to Stanford educated Neil Winters and the two eventually married and had a child.

Upset that her husband had taken up with the HIV infected Keesha Monroe, Olivia Winters badgered Nathan so severely he took their son and ran off. Aware that he couldn't keep the boy supplied with ice cream sundaes and other sugar fixes, Nathan was on his way home with little Nate when he was hit by a slow-moving car and subsequently died.

So that she could die from AIDS in peace, Malcolm Winters married Keesha before developing a case of lust for his half-brother's wife but settled for Olivia and married her in part because Nate needed a role model and unaware that Olivia had always secretly lusted for Neil.

Unwilling to be chained to the kitchen with babies hanging off her arms, Dru divorced Neil and Olivia followed suit by dumping Malcolm.

Olivia turned her sights back on Neil while Malcolm drooled over Dru again. After a brief fling with Dru, Malcolm moved onto Alex Perez who soon became the target of a lustful Neil.

In Paris, Dru hooked up with a head shrink named Wes Carter.

On his way to becoming an alcoholic, Neil felt it was his obligation to take care of Victoria Newman "in every way" as a favor to his one and only but very dead friend and Victoria's former husband, Ryan McNeil. When Neil hit on Victoria in Africa he had hoped it would rekindle an earlier, but very brief, match up as a way to sooth the rejection Alex had slapped across his face.

Depressed by the dejection of so many women and the death of his brother, Neil became a full-fledged boozer, took up with Olive Pit bar babe Serena Slattern who helped get him clean but dumped her when he developed another craving for Dru.

Feeling sorry for Neil and buying into his desire to bond with their daughter he hadn't seen since the child was a baby, Dru returned from Paris, moved into her sister's 2-bedroom apartment with Lily Winters and was followed shortly thereafter by Wes.

Convincing Dru to move back under his roof for the sake of their daughter, Neil was bummed when he caught Wes and his woman just about to do the nasty on his sofa.

Because Dru hadn't accepted his marriage proposal, Wes began hanging around Olivia who had just finished seducing her best friend's husband, Brad Carlton, with Dru's blessing.

As a one-time innocent gift to the love gods, all the while rationalizing the event because Wes presumed Dru was banging Neil which turned out to be true, Wes did the horizontal hoochie with Olivia.

Finding Wes alone inside her cave on Tuesday, Olivia liked it when he began sipping spit with her again and liked it even more when Wes said he was a free man having broken it off with Dru.

This is the Winters legacy. Ever growing. Never ending.

MALICIOUS ACTS OF INDECENCY

March 7, 2003

This is not a war. The evil Winters sisters haggling over the same man will not be a war. Do we understand this? We do not seem to understand this. These are heavily sex-crazed women who could care less that the other is screwing the same man. Does it get any sicker?

Now let's say you sense this all to be true. Let's say you have a queasy feeling deep in your gut as you realize no one is talking about exactly why Dr. Olivia Winters and Dru Winters seem comfortable with sharing the same men. Why is it that Olivia would think that just because Dru is living with her former husband this means that all boy toys past and present are now available targets of lust?

"Did you ever consider that I have unfinished business with Wes before you two got close?" Dru gurgled, not at all surprised that her sister, only hours earlier, had sex with the man who had asked for her hand in marriage.

Is this not just the most adorable slap to your karmic consciousness you ever did hear? Do these women get off on these malicious acts of indecency? Do they go to their separate rooms at night and masturbate over this? Oh, oh, grunt, grunt, I had sex with my sister's boy toy/fiancée/husband/former husband, whee!

Because there's Olivia herself, stammering on Friday how it's so naughty and unfair Dru has two men in her life while she can't get one without wrecking marriages or humping her sister's or her best friend's man.

"It’s not fair to anyone!" Olivia said, stomping her little feet as Dru oinked she's been stringing Wes Carter along because she hasn't figured out how she really feels and just because Wes jumped into the sack with Olivia doesn't mean she wouldn't have sex again with him should she be so inclined.

"I hope you’re not too involved with my boyfriend because we both know where his heart is," Dru actually said pretty much summing up the situation as a great fuzzy warm glowing hunk of burning love, ad nauseam, and whoops, come to think of it, having sex is getting about as close as you can get but, ah what the hell, dear sister was simply on the rebound so it does not matter.

As usual, snickering and shaking their heads at the absurdity of it all, rubbing their hands together and conjuring more oozing sex demons from deep within their bowels, Wes appeared and again Dru did not think it just the least bit strange that he might be back looking for more sex or that no gnarled filthy hell-beasts reached with clawed fingers up from the ground and drug him under.

The Winters sisters espouse the perfect bad example for the rest of us sentient, sexually attuned self-defined beings. Imagine how plethoric and distressed the bewildered youth of America must be right about now, wide eyed and curious and more than a little baffled as to why on our very blameless God's grayish-green Earth we must witness these in-breeding whores exchanging men like Barbie dolls.

But it doesn't matter. Remember, they don't care what you think, so long as you don't think too much. Understand? Good. Now, off you go.

February 25, 2003

The incestuous whores strike again!

Snickering and shaking their heads at the absurdity of it all, Dr. Olivia Winters and shrunken head Wes Carter, rubbing their hands together and conjuring more oozing sex demons from deep within their bowels lay naked together in her flea infested bed Tuesday trying to make some sense out of the evil they had just committed.

Winters had just screwed her sister's male bitch and Carter, fully conscious that he had in effect cheated on the woman he had asked to join him in blissful marriage, agreed that what they had done was perhaps one of the most repulsive things two people could do.

Regardless, the two pigs said crying over spilled bodily fluids wouldn't change anything and that they pretty much should just sit back and enjoy the moment. Totally bleary eyed and happy and just slightly growing stupider by the hour each asked the other how the sex was.

"If I said the earth moved would that get it?" the ho asked as the male bitch responded it was very good for him too.

And if there's one word that really makes the heart sing and the karma smile and flowers bloom and children giggle, it's incest which was almost exactly what Winters had participated in again on this day.

But forget Dr. Winters. This bitch is used to sleeping with other family members. She's screwed her sister's former husband, the sister screwed her former husband and to this day nobody knows for sure who the father is of the product of the sister's screwing, Lily Winters. Dr. Winters also screwed her best friend's husband recently and it seems there isn't any man this slut won't screw.

But there's something about a man who would screw the sister of the woman he claims to love. Is there some thrill pigs like Carter get when they have sex with a woman who Satan only knows has had how many penis' shoved between her legs? Is it some sort of repressed homosexuality? Could Carter almost feel Brad Carlton's penis rubbing up against his? It's a revolting thought but one that cannot be overlooked when trying to understand why these freaks do what they do.

Proving yet again that they are essentially drab entirely unimaginative uncreative human smarm bordering on the inhuman, Dru Winters' similar performance with her former husband Neil was not much better than the horrifying act her sister and Carter had engaged in just three floors away.

Failing to wipe themselves off after a roll in the hay, Dru and Neil shunned the rack of lamb he had allegedly cooked because it had sat on the counter for more than three minutes and were about to go directly for dessert when the urge for more sex struck again. And back at they were humping like hyenas on crack and Neil pretending that at his age he was still studly enough to perform so soon.

Totally spent, Neil figured it was as good a time as any to broach the Wes Carter topic again. Had Neil's sexual prowess convinced Dru to dump the boy toy? When she refused to talk about it Neil pretty much gave in. If the woman playing house with him for the sake of their daughter wanted to screw other men, well shucks, he'd fully understand. And in case she hadn't got the message, Neil reminded Dru that whenever Wes wasn't available to poke her, he would be.

But hey, let's not be too, um, hard on Neil because it's so rare to find anything remotely good about people who have sex with women they know are being serviced by other men.

These are the high moral examples the Winters clan instill in their children who grow up to emulate the parents and the cycle regenerates all over again.

January 2, 2003

Clock ticking for evildoers

In you thought the events in Genoa City are moving at the speed of light and you can't keep up with everything that's been happening - they are! That is, if you're taking massive does of Valium!

For those not popping pills the reality is that nothing has happened in this city since December 27. A short week is no excuse other than to break out the voodoo dolls and if you can give Neil Winters a painful brain rash and cause the worms in his soul to stop oozing bile, terrific!

How many more times do we need to hear Neil say that he, his adoring, ain't she just the sweetest hunk of sugar you ever did see, former wife and gosh, I ignored and never bothered to call more than once during her formidable years when it mattered, daughter are going to be a family again?

Instead of telling everyone separately why didn't Neil just gather the nitwits together and say it once so they could look at each other and say oh, that's nice and when do you propose we all put our lives on hold so that you can reach your brain-rotted goal, Neil?

And wouldn't you think that the Winters clan would have spent Christmas together? Wasn't that the plan, the purpose of the holiday? To spend the day together? Just where were these people?

That evil bitch, Olivia Winters, was apparently so wrapped up in herself she didn't see Neil on Christmas and had to stop by his apartment on Thursday to see how the big day went for him. Neil said he struggled through the day without drinking thanks to some emotional support from his alcoholic sponsor and went to a few AA meetings. In between the sharing, Lily and Dru Winters came by for some Christmas cheer but, woe is he, sad sack Neil didn't get to see much of them in his tiny apartment because the shrinkster, Wes Carter, kept them too busy!

Well la de da.

Now, Neil wants the butchering bitch to get some free psycho-babble from Wes as a ruse to keeping him busy while giving Neil a chance to get Dru alone so that he can talk to her about taking their daughter on a brief skiing trip.

Is this not one of the dumbest things you ever did hear? What part of no doesn't Neil understand? He tried pulling this crap on Olivia before and it didn't work. What changed that would make him think she'd change her mind? Talk about your weasels. Is Neil such a girlie man he can't pull Dru aside and say, hey, I need to talk to you alone for a few minutes. Hell, they were alone just a few hours ago. Neil could have asked her then. What's with all the cloak and dagger stuff?

As for skiing, these boneheads have never skied in their entire miserable lives. If Neil can't spend Christmas without running to an AA meeting every five minutes how's he going to stay sober up on some snow-covered mountain?

And if this weren't sad enough, Olivia said she had no interest in helping Neil play his silly game because she's standing by waiting for the Carlton marriage to fail. Because the failure could happen at any moment, Olivia needs to have her shoulder at the ready for Brad Carlton to cry on and wink-wink snicker, maybe more.

"Why do you have to hold his hand 24/7?" Neil sobbed and didn't get that Olivia is hoping Brad will poke her in a fit of how could my wife do this to me betrayal when he finds out Victor Newman sired his wife's baby.

The sickness that eats away at these people was in a frenzy Thursday by the time Neil turned his attention to Lily. After just recently been forced to give up her friends in Paris, Neil had the audacity to tell Lily that she's staying in Genoa City and making new friends and, duh, why would she want to give all that up just to go back to Paris?

"You adults had better get whatever is bothering you straightened out," Lily snarled and Neil's rotting brain couldn't comprehend that he, in just a few weeks, has done more damage to his daughter than years in Paris could ever do.

Somewhere along the way back to the mini-commune she shares with her evil sister, Olivia changed her mind and made a call to the shrink but had to leave a message because Wes was apparently out of the hotel spending more of his unlimited source of income.

Hearing a voice, Dru asked Olivia who she had been speaking with and Olivia danced around the question by saying she had left a message for "someone", changed the subject to the upset Lily prompting Dru to say what a good man Wes is for doing her dirty work and Olivia responding, "He’s a handsome talented man," as if being handsome and talented has anything to do with the ability to lie.

As to Olivia's veiled question, when are you going to get out of my apartment, Dru responded that she hasn't made a decision to marry Wes and squinting her eyes Olivia replied this is as it should be because, "You have a long history with Neil and you share a daughter."

Wanting to forget that her history with Neil consists mostly of misery, Dru turned the focus back on Olivia and Brad Carlton.

"I know he cares about you and when he’s free," Dru started to say but before completing the sentence Olivia picked up on the word "free" and began twitching. "It may happen today," she drooled as Satan jabbed his fork in her ass. That's it my beauty. Keep thinking positive. Repeat after me. Broken marriages are good. Broken marriages are good.

Sensing just what a disgusting piece of filth she is, Olivia pushed the fork aside for a moment while she turned on one of her many other phony personas.

"I don't take any joy in it," she lied savoring for a moment how good taunting Brad's wife had been. To justify her despicable acts Olivia added how heart-breaking the breakup of the Carlton marriage will be because, as is usually the case, "A young innocent child will be hurt."

And again the sinister Dru reared up to say that Mrs. Carlton brought all this on herself by keeping a dirty secret and by god, it's up to the wicked Winters sisters to bring about justice.

There is a silver lining in all this evil, however. Ashley Carlton holds an ace up her sleeve named Victor Newman. The great man stands ready to do anything for her. And how joyous it will be watching Newman rip the Winters apart limb by limb.