Hank Weber - News Archives - 2004
See also: Kevin Fisher

The Dignity of Law

November 15, 2004
by Brent Kellogg

Is this why everything's so mangled? Is this why Genoa City residents are so divided?

In a frighteningly vicious tone police detective Hank 'KGB' Weber announced Monday that he has "credible sources" who will help him manufacture a legal case against Phyllis Summers and Damon Porter.

Weber's theory goes like this: Porter and Summers "hatched" a plan to kill parolee Dominic Hughes because Porter has hated Hughes for years. Furthermore, Porter waited for more than a year to pull off the crime and spent months walking over the furniture in his opium den waiting for the right woman to come along willing to conspire with him. For days Porter stared at a samurai sword while Summers arranged for Hughes' parole then tricked him into coming to Genoa City before the parole board even granted the parole.

"[Porter was] waiting for the day when he could exact revenge for his son's death," Weber oozed, adding that Porter was "almost certain" Hughes would be paroled.

Instead if going to Georgia to kill Hughes the two gangsters lured him to a cheap Genoa City motel room where the sounds of gunfire and sword slicing could be heard through the thin walls. Once Hughes was dead the two lovers planned to roll his body up into a carpet, wait until dark then transport it to the nearest manhole where Hughes' body would be dumped into the sewer system.

But something went wrong.

"People have been known to so crazy things in the name of love," Weber said, completely forgetting that it was Summers who called 911, Hughes isn't dead and Porter sustained life-threatening injuries during the scuffle.

While he has no evidence of a conspiracy other than hearsay that threats were made eight years ago when Hughes killed Porter's son, Weber eluded to having something like a nice December Surprise of suddenly finding a witness somewhere in a remote cave, as the news media receives an "anonymous" delivery of a videotape of Porter meeting clandestinely with Summers waving a samurai sword in one hand and the likeness of Hughes in the other.

To show that he just doesn't go around locking people up without reason Weber promised to be fair and balanced by checking out the other side of the story.

That they could go away to prison for something they didn't do left Summers shaking in her shoes.

"I know from experience. The truth doesn't always save you," she said, admitting that the whole thing is making her very scared.

Which is as it should be. Fear is the Genoa City credo. No concrete evidence? Not even the illusion that a crime has been committed? It does not matter.

When Weber gets it into his head to persecute someone he goes all out. Ask Kevin Fisher what that's all about. Fisher felt Weber's hot, predatory breath bearing down on his life and his laptop computer not so long ago when Weber's band of thugs - finding nothing to incriminate Fisher - wiped the hard drive clean and then smacked Fisher across the face with a copy of the Constitution before skipping off to the dungeon to feed the flying monkeys.

Because Weber loves nothing more than to gleefully decimate civil liberties he's back on the warpath, hell-bent on slashing and burning his way through the law like a priest through an all-male boarding school. Like Fred Hodges sets his sights on punishing the sex industry and eradicating porn and making the city safe for his uptight daughter once and for all.

This is the agenda. This is the renewed battle cry. Nothing and nobody is safe from prosecution. Hey, it's just like the Taliban, only with more references to Porter and Summers!

What, too extreme? Not by much. Weber is working day and night and spending thousands of tax dollars to re-categorize everything as potentially illegal, essentially labeling anything as categorically punishable, prosecutable and sinful. Weber has no case. He knows it, Porter knows it, Summers knows it. But since he's anointed himself protector of all things dry and crusty he must uphold the dignity of law.

Shameful, GCPD Becomes Nazi-like!
March 15, 2004

by Brent Kellogg

Following the electrocution of local stripper Brittany Hodges on January 23, Genoa City Police conducted an immediate and as through investigation as any police department worth its salt could be expected to do. Allegations were thrown around that mobsters who control the infamous Gentlemen's Club were responsible for the shocking criminal act, while others claimed the city's most hated man, Kevin Fisher, did it.

As the days passed the odds of finding whomever grilled Hodges were reduced. Weber wandered around aimlessly, stopping occasionally to ask pointless questions.

Had anyone noticed whether Fisher seemed upset on the day he was fired? Had anyone noticed what he was wearing that day?

Weber's probe reached a new low on Monday when he returned to the crime scene with an evidence team. Despite the fact that any new evidence found would be tainted, the team combed the club again and walked away with bags full of new evidence.

That police did not find said evidence the first time, allowed the scene to become corrupt only to return days later and miraculously find new evidence boggled the minds of legal experts who could only shudder and yawn.

Whatever police found was enough to convince a sleepy judge to authorize another warrant to search Fisher's apartment. The conversation Weber had with the judge can only be imagined.

"Detective Weber, you say you want me to sign a warrant based on tainted evidence? If he didn't before your first search, don't you think Fisher would have scrubbed his domicile clean by now? You didn't find anything then, what makes you think you'll find anything now? It's a rhetorical question. I'll sign your warrant. Go knock yourself out. God help you if I get kicked off the bench."

To say that the law in Genoa City is consistently mangled is an understatement. The GCPD, its officers, detectives and investigators are the most inept on the planet. They walk all over constitutional rights, the rights of the accused and think Miranda Rights is some town in eastern Texas. From all appearances the Gestapo is alive and well. Adolf Weber at your service.

For his overzealous efforts to pin a crime on Fisher, Weber hasn't had time to question other suspects and ignores crime taking place right under his nose.

This week, in plain view of Weber, strip club operator Bobby Marsino told his partner in no uncertain terms to stop purchasing bootleg liquor. Aware that Weber could bust the club, Marsino hacked that nothing illegal was going on and could prove it.

Without any concern for the law, Weber told Marsino not to sweat the small stuff. He's looking for bigger fish to fry. Kevin Fisher must be captured. Isn't that all that matters?

Monday was another proud moment in Genoa City history. Almost as proud as when Weber had a lead on Otis Elwood but did nothing except forever embarrass himself and the Department and anyone with any sense of decency and pride, which, come to think of it, are becoming fewer and fewer in this godforsaken town.

As if this changes a single thing. As if Fisher's capture will suddenly mean Weber is some sort of nimble or intelligent cop, and that the brutal ongoing gut-busting questioning of criminal suspects without a lawyer is all legal and that the so-called evidence won't be tossed out of court should it come to that. Those accused of crimes in Genoa City can feel safer. As if they are safer from Paul Williams and J.T. Hellstrom and Lily Winters, Genoa City can stand proud. Hank Weber is on the case.

See also: Victim joins the hunt