2005 News Archives
Christine 'Bug' Blair
See also: The Fugitive  Justice System  Daniel Romalotti

Representing Trolls Thankless Job, Bug Just Doing Hers

December 29, 2005
by Brent Kellogg

For anyone reading this may not know, I've been sicker than a dog with rabies for the past three days. Some 72-hour flu struck me late Monday night knocking me onto a death bed where I thought surely, if the fever, sweating, cold chills, hacking cough and pounding headache didn't go away, I'd die. Through it all I did manage to keep the GCN updated, however. Even as the words were floating across the monitor and the last thing on my mind was Genoa City, there was one thing that kept running around in my mind.

How did Christine 'Bug' Blair get Ashley Carlton out of jail on bail so late at night? Didn't the critter say it was too late to pull any strings? Didn't the Bug hint that Ashley must be treated just like everyone else arrested on suspicion of - say - what was that charge again? Assault with a deadly weapon? Was that it? Remember, I've been sick. I'm only guessing that a cop finding Ashley standing over Tom Fisher's body holding a gun would charge her with deadly assault based on the prima-facia evidence. I'm only guessing the cop had plastic gloves on when he took the gun out of Ashley's hand placing it in an evidence bag, but in my sickly daze it looked like bare hands to me which would have tainted this case from the outset not that blunders like this have ever mattered before.

I also wonder why so many in Genoa City charged with crimes make demands that their lawyers be summoned and when summoned lawyer arrives refuse to talk about what happened. Most people, sperm thieves and baby-killers notwithstanding, would want to tell their stories.

"Well, you see, when I got there Tom was laying on the ground with a gun near him that looked a lot like the one my daddy has been carrying around lately. Without thinking I picked it up and that's when the cops found me," Ashley might have told the Bug.

And that's presuming the Bug has ever had an interest in her client. The critter's legal representation of Daniel Romalotti a prime example of incompetence, she began by asking Ashley why Tom was even in Genoa City. Wasn't he a wanted man? Aren't most wanted men half-way to Brazil by now?

Ashley said she didn't know anything except that Tom had called his mother and Gloria Abbott called the police to report his location. She doesn't know why, Ashley said her reason for going to the location must have been caused by her inability to think clearly.

Before the idiotic line of questioning could continue a detective walked in to ask Ashley a few questions of his own. Unfortunately, the Bug had advised her client to keep quiet which was fine with the detective. A night in the pokey and Ashley would be singing like a bird. That's when Ashley's cell phone began chirping.

What the hell? Wasn't Ashley in police custody? Is it police policy to allow suspects to keep their phones with them at all times? In Genoa City, it must be. The detective even allowed Ashley to answer the ringing phone when she used the old "It might be my daughter" dodge.

Because it was supposedly late at night the first time the Bug said she didn't think she could find a judge to spring Ashley, it was also unlikely a seven-year-old girl would be calling at that hour too which is why Gloria was on the line informing Ashley that the old man, Yawn Abbott, had been in a car wreck, taken to the hospital and if possible Ashley should get over there post haste. And because for every action there has to be a reaction, the Bug perked up.

"I'm going to the judge right now. I'll get you out of here," she squawked as the kindly detective asked Ashley if there was anything he might get her? A lobster dinner? Wine? Name your poison. Ashley settled for water and in a freaking Genoa City flash the Bug returned with her release papers. The detective, who had earlier said a night in jail would do Ashley good, must have been dumbfounded. He must have said to himself what the hell is going on when the lead detective has no say in whether the suspect is bound over for routine court processing like most alleged criminals going through the justice system such that it is in this city.

Ashley was elated. Gosh! In and out of jail in less than an hour. "You're a good Bug. Thanks for getting me out of here," she might have said, only the Bug didn't want thanks.

"I'm just doing my job."

It must have been fate. It must have been a warp in the time continuum that not five minutes after Ashley had walked into the God Have Mercy Medical Center Tom Fisher went flat-line and before doctors had a chance to bring him around, Ashley was back in handcuffs and under arrest for murder. Not that anyone wanted Tom to be alive. He deserved to die long ago. The question seems to be: what took so long?

Back among the living it's pretty clear what we'll be dealing with here is more of the Bug's self-righteous, I know the law because I got my law degree from Sears and if you don't believe me ask Paul Williams and he'll tell you how great I am smugness. The Bug's legal antics on Wednesday couldn't hold a candle to her Thursday stunt when Ashley asked if her bail could really be revoked.

You know, sick as I am, as badly as I want to end this report and have it make some sort of point so that I can go back to bed, I can't help but wonder if influential freaks likes Ashley ever watch TV or read murder mysteries or are they just so caught in their make-believe worlds they've never once examined cases other members of their family, or friends for that matter, have been involved in. Had Ashley paid any attention at all during any one of her many courtroom scenes she wouldn't have to be asking dumb questions now.

"I'll have you out of here in a hour," the Bug snorted as if to tell the world, or at least the dozen or so who bother watching this Jack Smith crap when they could be sick in bed, "See? The law means nothing to me so kiss my ass!" Yes, they can deny bail but, "I'm going to make sure that doesn't happen," the Bug added, just as a sort of redeemer to the Bug's asinine statements, the detective said the Prosecutors Office had decided to make Ashley go through the bail hearing motions and recommend bail be denied.

And then, because every goddamn crime scene Smith has ever written has to be filled with bogus, what's the word I'm looking for, bull I'll be nice crap, Ashley had to whimper "what are my chances" right after the Bug had said, "I won't let that happen". Clean the stolen sperm out of your ears Ashley and you might, just might, be able to save your own skin for all the help a divorce attorney is doing you in a criminal case. And don't get me started on this just because the Bug worked for a day as an Assistant DA or Deputy Prosecutor or whatever the hell she pretended to be doesn't make her a criminal defense attorney. Hell, she barely qualifies for Legal Aid.

Oh, and let's not forget the Bug's response to Ashley's moronic question. Whether Ashley is let out on bail depends on "Whether or not the judge decides to make an example of you."

Oh, please. Jack Smith, Please, Jack. Watch an hour. Just a half hour of Court-TV. I beg you. Genoa City is strange, it is above the law, but I'm sure the judges don't base their decisions on bail like some 1st Grade school teacher doles out whippings on the open hand with a ruler which is what you deserve for writing this stink, Jack.

The clock is ticking, Jack. It's not too late to make a good crime story out of this mess. Oops... I spoke too soon. Ashley's bail has been posted at $1 Million. My, my, and without a bail hearing too.  Her brother, the broken and busted drove his company and the family into near bankruptcy just a year ago Jack Abbott says a million big ones won't be a problem. We'd be interested to see how Jack pulls this one off except we already know. The moment Victor Newman finds out his sweet Ashley is in legal trouble Mr. Money Bags will throw money at the situation just like he always does which will irk Jack which will irk Victor that Jack's irked and really, isn't it time for my next flu shot?

Bug Urged to Bring It On!

October 12, 2005
by Brent Kellogg

Oh yes! My heart skipped a beat. My anxiety level went up two full points when I heard Wednesday that attorney Christine 'Bug' Blair has not lost in interest in the Tom Fisher case. This is good. This can be righteous, overdue payback for Michael Baldwin. As much as I despise the Bug for her past incompetence and smugness, I want so very much to see her stick it to Baldwin and that little cockroach brother of his, Kevin Fisher.

I want to watch Kevin squirm when his step-father is released on bond. Sure, bail has been set at $500,000 because not only has Tom been charged with the manufacture and sale of Meth, but it's been learned that Tom has an outstanding warrant from years ago for having been caught smoking a joint in another state, probably Utah. But this doesn't mean Tom won't manage to come up with the 10% required to spring him.

I want to see Kevin eat crow for having the gall to say his father "deserves" to be locked up when, of all freaks, Kevin should know what it's like being locked up for a crime based on hearsay. Kevin needs a good swift kick in the ass and stop calling the kettle black. Another blanket party might snap him out of the fantasy he's living in wherein as the owner of a coffee shop his past crimes have all been forgiven.

And too I want to see Baldwin lose that damn law license he keeps harping about and for saying this week, "If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…" which is the same as saying that when told often enough, a lie becomes the truth. Oh how I'll get down on my knees and pray before the Bug if she catches on that her law partner is putting what little integrity she has left at stake. She already knows something is askew. She knows Ashley Carlton has been seeing Tom and, as the Bug said, "He doesn't seem like her type".

It's never been clear: what is Ashley's "type"? Men who shave the hair off their chests? Truckers who want to rape her? Muggers who steal her purse? Men who own homes with ghosts coming out of the walls? Doctors who would rather work on farms in Kansas with blind women? Powerful business men with secret desires of having sex with other men but the best they can do is Ashley?

How sweet it will be if these lawbreaking bitches pretending to be outstanding citizens, these bastards pretending to uphold the law, go down hard. How I will lay awake at night wishing with all my might that the Bug keeps poking around until she uncovers what Baldwin is doing. Well, maybe not the staying awake part. Still, for all the injustice we've seen in Genoa City, isn't it about time we got some real justice?

Who better than the Bug to bring it on?

Inept Lawyer Asked to

Defend Alleged Meth Dealer

October 11, 2005

You know there's a shortage of public defenders and lawyers in Genoa City when Christine 'Bug' Blair is asked by the Public Defenders Office to represent Tom Fisher. You know how silly this is given Blair is not a criminal defense attorney and is barely qualified to be a divorce lawyer in that she got a law degree from Sears. You do not need to be reminded that during the Bug's short stint as an Assistant Attorney General she fumbled the one case she'd been assigned and quit the Victor Newman case before its eventual conclusion.

You know too that the Bug just a few months ago was assigned by the court to take a pro bono case and that the odds of another coming around so soon are infinitesimal given that her partner, Michael Baldwin, hasn't appeared in court for almost as long as it's taken their associate, PI Paul Williams, to find his ass. Who hasn't forgotten that just a few months ago the Bug nearly got Daniel Romalotti sent to prison due to her ineptness?

That the Bug was asked to represent Tom [presumably at taxpayer expense] only serves to generate more sympathy for the suspected drug dealer. With the Bug as his mouthpiece Tom will be exposed to endless "I know the law" spewing and other legal mumbo jumbo.

When police detective Hank Weber finds out he'll probably be giddier than Dru Winters in a hat factory over it and police departments everywhere will be salivating at the prospect of it. The next big step toward Genoa City becoming an even more delightfully draconian wonderland is close at hand. With the Bug defending Tom, law and humanity will move closer to the point where those like Tom can forget getting a fair trial or competent representation. Like Izzy Williams and Tricia McNeil they will be tossed into a jail cell and forgotten.

It's only by some fluke Tom has a lawyer at all. A lawyer it should be pointed out again, who has a conflict of interest. As we've seen far too often, conflicts do not matter in Genoa City. As this report was being prepared Tom did not know of the Bug's connection to his step-son; he had no idea that by allowing the Bug to represent him he can kiss his ass good-bye.

What a shock is was when the Bug recused herself. She was the first to admit there's a conflict, said she wanted nothing to do with Tom, but then recanted by agreeing to represent him at a bail hearing, pointless as it was in that Tom has no ready cash.

The question remains, however. If the Public Defenders office is so understaffed it must call in the likes of the Bug, who will it find to replace her? What lawyer in this city has any respect for what's right and moral? Who among them will swear on a stack of Bibles they have Tom's best interests at heart and are genuinely trying to protect him from swarthy types who plant drugs as a means of retaliation?

Ah, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this is just rampant paranoia talking and it's just silly to think the Bug hasn't proven to be honest and reeking with integrity. Isn't Tom in good hands? Shouldn't he feel safe with the knowledge that the system is to be trusted and will look out for his best interest?

After all, why not trust the Bug on this? Why not waive the conflict and put some faith in the goodly cricket who looks out for the poor and the downtrodden so long as their names aren't Izzy? Why not show the Bug what slime is? That she's partnered with a bastard so crooked he'd break the law he swore to uphold? Not that Bug doesn't know this. Not after all Michael did to her.

The brass ring is swinging above the Bug's swollen head. Will she latch on? Will she show the world that honestly and integrity still mean something? Will she be Michael's undoing? Will she make up for her incompetence? Will she emerge again as the holy crusader Bug? Will she prove Daniel wasn't wrong when he hailed the Bug as one who gave him a new sense of freedom to move about the city with carefree flag-waving ease, safe in the knowledge that the Bug is watching over him like a protective mother bear, as opposed to, say, a female praying mantis, who screws her lover, and then eats him alive?

Wouldn't the city feel so much safer with this most creepy of the legal profession severing all ties with Michael and taking up Tom's defense?

The Fugitive (Justice is Served)
Law Bug's Career Sinks to New Low

July 15, 2005
by Brent Kellogg

Oh Lord, I am so freaking out. I am smashing my head with a brick. Lily Winters was released on her own recognizance? What Genoa City judge ordered that? None, actually. Some sleepy judge in Los Angeles did it apparently unaware that a warrant had been issued in Genoa City for the teenager's arrest. And so it came to pass that Lily was released into the custody of her father. As the GCN often says: so much for justice.

As for the boy Winters aided and abet, the teenager who jumped bail and had a warrant out for his arrest too, no information as to suspected killer Daniel Romalotti's whereabouts could be ascertained. It's assumed he's still being detained in California despite the fact that charges racked up in Los Angeles were dropped.

In a related development Paul 'Clueless' Williams reportedly went to the police station seeking permission to inspect the vehicle Daniel was allegedly operating on the night prior to Cassie Newman's death. Even though police detective Hank Weber said the car cannot be inspected by Clueless until Daniel is in GCPD custody, and while Clueless apparently got Weber to change his mind, Clueless said Friday, "There is still a lot of red tape to cut through."

Happy to hear there's a slim chance Clueless will find evidence overlooked by police experts defense lawyer Christine 'Bug' Blair nevertheless asked if a court order to examine the vehicle would be required. Clueless said he's not sure, but he doesn't think so now that Weber isn't "playing hard ball." According to Clueless, what concerns Weber now is that he's doing "favors" for a "bail jumper" and God knows the justice system can't tolerate that. Nor can there be any rules of discovery. So what if the law says the defense can examine the vehicle? In this city the motto has always been, at least since 911, screw the law. Screw the Constitution.

Concerning Clueless' impending inspection the Bug asked if he expects to find anything. "We're bound to find something," Clueless assured the critter right after he's said all along he doesn't expect to find anything to prove Daniel wasn't driving.

With regard to Daniel having jumped bail the Bug said damn straight. "[Daniel] won't be pulling that stunt again." And because he's such a dork Clueless replied, "He won't be getting bail this time."

Strange as this conversation was it only got worse when the Bug showed a wanton desire to appease the man who most wants to see her client locked up for all eternity. Gosh, what if they do find something that proves Daniel wasn't driving? How will that affect Nick Newman? Only one thing to do: inform Nick about the search so that "he'll be prepared."

Be prepared? What in hell is wrong with this creature? Why should the Bug give a rat's ass whether Nick is prepared or not? Is she setting the stage to have Daniel's conviction tossed out due to legal counsel's incompetence? Sure sounds that way. We've known for a long time that the Bug is incompetent, but this worry over how Daniel's most ardent detractors will respond to his innocence smacks of a new low in the Sears Law School-educated Bug's career.

End of an Era: A Bug's Life Diminished

March 8, 2005
by Michael Kelly

It's as though pigs are flying their own planes or Sharon Newman is walking and chewing gum simultaneously!

The news that Genoa City's preachiest, pale-faced, pristine princess Christine "Bug" Blair, following a much maligned two decade reign of moral as well as storyline supremacy, would now mingle among such plot line peasants as Detective Weber and slave Ether Valentine now that actress Lauralee Bell (Bug) is suddenly on recurring status is so beyond unfathomable it caused this reporter to race into the GCN newsroom in disbelief and ask his hard-working editor if Blair's humbling and out of the blue demotion were nothing but a figment of my imagination.

Nope. It was true. Mr. Kellogg informed yours truly that an unimpeachable member of the GCN staff had watched Y&R's end credits and discovered Ms. Bell's name no longer followed Ms. Bashioum's (Mac Browning) or preceded Mr. Bergman's (Jack Abbott) but instead accompanied the also-rans we rarely see.

Wow! How the mighty have fallen. Or maybe not. Considering Lauralee's daddy Bill created Y&R and is still credited as an executive producer years after relinquishing the head writing reigns, it's kind of unlikely his little girl would be treated so shabbily. No sir! Heads at CBS surely would roll.

In fact, until I hear otherwise, I'm going to assume the actress requested this dramatic change in status in order to devote more time to motherhood or perhaps her boutique On Beverly Boulevard. If that's the case, far be it from anyone on the GCN staff and its readers from wishing her anything but the best. Really!

At a time like this, with a dramatically disconcerting change in our often staid and predictable Genoa City reality having occurred which has thrown us all off-balance, it's only natural to look back at a simpler, more innocent time.

The year was 1983 when a perky little blonde named Cricket Blair (niece of Jabot Cosmetics' long forgotten photographer Joe Blair) with a meek squeak of a voice was hired to be the fresh face behind Jabot Cosmetics' new line concocted specifically for the Are You There God, It's Me Margaret demographic.

It goes without saying that the insect's modeling career took off like a rocket. Everything this girl has ever done short of her two failed marriages - to a cream puff, pin-up, lite rock n' roller and an incompetent boob of a detective respectively who failed to prove themselves worthy of Her Bug-ness - has been a resounding success.

Finding life as nothing but a pretty face adored by millions rather futile, Cricket decided to devote herself to a law career after being savagely date raped by clean cut creep Derek Stuart. Obviously Stuart, unlike Danny Romalotti, Chase Benson, Phillip Chancellor and even her future half-brother Dr. Scott Grainger, had been unwilling to wait his turn while competing for the fair maiden's attention as these other poor slobs did by showing up at the critter's bachlorette pad simultaneously to present her with a humble breakfast or a cheap trinket.

For years, Christine (she deemed the name Cricket too ingénue-ish for a crusader) labored for the betterment of countless underdogs as an often underpaid barrister at Legal Aid. Highlights of her years there include winning a settlement for an illiterate and discarded African American collegiate athlete named Clyde Robinson, protecting a bunch of lovable but impoverished senior citizens from homelessness by having their apartment building declared a historical landmark and making it possible for battered wife April Lynch to receive a community service slap on the wrist for murdering her husband.

Many of Blair's detractors bitched that she was too bland and virtuous to be true, but a closer look at her past reveals not only misdeeds but a thirst for power. The Bug not only slept with her ex-husband on the night before she was to remarry but later decided to abandon the economically in need of Legal Aid lowbrows in exchange for a high-powered, big money law partnership with her former attempted rapist (to whom she was briefly engaged!) Michael Baldwin.

From there, Blair needed to prove yet again she's more than sugar n' spice and indeed has brass genitalia by briefly becoming assistant D.A. and convincing the mighty Victor Newman to confess to commercial bribery before doing her damndest to nail the innocent (at least in terms of the crime he was actually charged with) Kevin Fisher for electrocuting stripper Brittany Hodges.

Let's not also forget the critter did everything in her power to not only end her ex-husband Paul Williams' marriage to Isabella Brana (which some might argue was tit for tat since Brana stuck her fangs into Williams while he was married to Blair) but also encouraged Paul to abandon the son he sired with Brana.

While it's fair to say your grandmother's favorite soap heroines of the 1950's and 60's never had moments of such questionable conduct, Blair is still very much a throwback to those goody-two-shoes of yesteryear.

She's been kidnapped, raped twice (once by her former husband to whom even after the heinous act she remained fixated on) sexually harassed, cheated on by both husbands, fell in love with her half-brother, lost her mother to AIDS, met her father for the first time as an adult before he disappeared into a puff of smoke, took a Just Say No To Sex stand to prevent teen pregnancy, helped a girl kick a crack addiction, befriended the street urchin who seduced and was impregnated by her former boyfriend, was a prime suspect in Isabella Brana's disappearance and treated the teenager whose existence once broke up her first marriage as her own child.

While some viewers have found it difficult to warm up to Blair while embracing her funkier, flawed, and supposedly more fun to watch foes like Phyllis Summers, the daytime press as well as Lauralee Bell's fellow actors haven't always had the kindest words for the woman behind the creepy crawler.

As far back as the late 1980's, a Blair backlash began with soap publications labeling the wholesome teen queen the Most Annoying Character and Most Overexposed Character. In fact, when Bell's former co-star Terry Lester (ex-Jack Abbott) gave a "fuming farewell" interview to a soap magazine in 1989, he complained that his decision to fly the Y&R coop was due in part to Bell getting a huge slice of the story line pie at his expense.

Many Y&R fans were indignant in 2001 when Bell was granted what was perhaps the longest maternity leave in daytime history. The actress only made a handful of appearances for over a year and a half when the usual maternity leave for soap actresses is 3 months or less.

At the risk of causing the eyes of numerous GCN readers to roll, I not only never minded Ms. Blair or her portrayer but I actually believe Bell gave performances worthy of considerable kudos during the demanding Derek Stuart date rape trauma and the sexual harassment story line.

While there's no certainty regarding the reason for Bell's unexpected recurring status as well as how often she'll appear on Y&R in the future, what is certain is that whether you loathed or appreciated her, few have ever been indifferent where Lauralee Bell is concerned.

It can also be noted that thanks in no small part to the dreaded N word (nepotism), Bell was certainly given the red carpet treatment by the scribes and had one helluva run. For Y&R, the viewers and perhaps for Lauralee Bell as well it's truly the end of an era.