News Archives - 2005 Cosmetics War
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The More Things Change
Brent's Daily Observation
September 13, 2005

Why is it that the story in Genoa City is always the same one? Why is it that people being blackmailed just can't come out and tell the truth when what they're being blackmailed over isn't worth the sweat off John Abbott's testicles?

Why is it that Jack Abbott was given this week the title of "Uncle" to Brittany Marsino's baby? What qualifies Jack in any way to be an Uncle to someone not remotely related to him? Is this an honorary thing? Does it make Brittany feel proud knowing her son will go through life seeing a man who hasn't seen his own son in years as a role model? And that's not counting Kyle Abbott who disappeared from the Genoa City canvass long ago with his mother, Diane Jenkins. Does Brittany get a rush hearing Jack ask Joshua if he's ready for his first business meeting? Does she really want her son growing up to be a warmonger like this bastard?

Why is it that Cosmetics War 2 took on a new stench this week? Why is Katherine Sterling suddenly so interested in what Newman Enterprises is selling or not selling? She didn't care during the last war. Yet there she was on Tuesday telling Jack she's heard the Seasons line will be in stores before Thanksgiving.

What she didn't know was that Seasons, unlike other toxic chemicals for human consumption, will include hair care products and that pretty boy Brad Carlton pretty much stole the idea from the company she owns, Jabot Cosmetics. Sterling wasn't so much concerned about the theft of a conception as she was that Carlton holds a "major" share on Jabot stock.

"That's a conflict of interest," Sterling yelped. But is it? Has dementia taken over the old woman's feeble mind too? When has the employment by Newman Enterprises of a former Jabot employee ever been a conflict? When has conflict of interest ever been a concern in this town, period? When did Sterling, who paid a woman to give away her baby, get so high and mighty? If Katherine is so concerned, why isn't she bitching that NE CEO Victoria Newman has stock in Jabot too? Why didn't she grumble when Sharon Newman was employed at Jabot about that conflict? And so what if there is a conflict? Is the old hag saying that employees of Ford can't own stock in General Motors? What in hell is wrong with this woman?

To wit: "You still haven't told me how you intend to neutralize Newman Enterprises," Sterling continued.

Neutralize? Jack? Why must Jack do Jabot's bidding? Doesn't it have a CEO? Shouldn't that CEO be reporting the company's progress during board meetings of which Sterling and Jack should be attending? What does it matter when Sterling herself says NE can out sell Jabot because, as she put it, the people at NE have "fire in their bellies?" Why hasn't Sterling asked what counter measures Jabot is taking? Does she know it has no products that can compete with Seasons and if it did couldn't possibly get them in stores by Christmas? Is that why she gave Jack until "next year" for Jabot to get its act together?

Jack all but confessed Jabot is a failure, until it dawned on him that if Chancellor Industries was to pump money into Jabot like a warmonger pumps taxpayer dollars into a failed war, there might be a chance to salvage it. Incredibly, Katherine did not ask Jack why he's only now suggesting this. She didn't have so much as a clue as to what Jack was talking about. "For what? How much?" she sputtered.

"For a competing line of cosmetics, you old bat! For whatever amount it takes to make Jabot #1 again," Jack did not say as that would have made too much sense. He did say it'll take big bucks to get Brad out of the picture, as if at this point there's still a chance in hell of making that happen.

Drifting in and out of reality Katherine suddenly realized she hasn't seen the books since Jack took CI over nearly a year ago and accepted Jack's offer for a sit down at the office to do just that. Not with an accountant or someone who might actually know the financial condition of her company, but with a spreadsheet of some sort Jack will undoubtedly cook up for her benefit so long as he gets Katherine's blessing to launch his private attack on Brad.

And so, as always, the question remains: why are the stories these people get themselves involved with always the same? True, a few of the players change, but the smell is the same.

Need more proof? Remember when Sharon Newman went to work at Jabot? Remember when Brad said she was the company's great white hope? That she would turn the cosmetics industry on its ear? Remember when she made an ass of herself during an interview with two business news journalists. Remember when she didn't notice there were no deductions being withheld from her paycheck because she was being paid under the table and later walked off the job?

Except for the name of the company the story is almost identical. Now Sharon is working for NE. On Tuesday she was saying how she's "raring to go" and ready to give "one hundred and ten percent" of her all and expected to be a spokesperson working, literally, under Brad, when she has no concept of what work is except for the under Brad part which to her isn't work, it's pleasure.

Sharon seemed truly disappointed when her sister-in-law said she'll be working for Cosmetics Division head Dru Winters. Not that Sharon won't like it. Giving sexual pleasures to a woman is something she can adjust to which is not to say Dru is a woman, but that's another story.

As for Sharon learning about the Seasons line so she might sound semi-coherent when she's hyping it to the public, Sharon said, "I know a lot about Seasons."

She does? When might Sharon have learned about something that just a few weeks ago was but a passing fancy in Dru's pea brain? When Brad told her about it "a long time ago"? When, exactly, did Brad learn about it? Just a few days ago when he put himself in charge of Dru's baby?

What about Dru? Has she forgotten the Seasons line is her idea? Why didn't she object when Brad announced he's got all the ducks in a row and even had sample of Winters (as in Seasons) for Sharon to sniff? Has Dru ever sniffed it, or has she been too busy sniffing someone's ass or coke up her nose? Just asking, because it seems the more things change the more they remain the same.

Ultimate Impulse Buying Seasons to be Sold in Auto, Pet Departments!
September 6, 2005
by Brent Kellogg

Watching the monkeys that pass for cosmetics company executives prepare for and wage their talcum power wars around Genoa City is always good for a few laughs. That the last war failed miserably, brought one company to its knees and saw the president of another plead guilty to a crime hasn't stopped warmongers like Brad Carlton. A former soldier for Jabot Cosmetics, Carlton was nevertheless hired by Newman Enterprises' cosmetics division with the full knowledge he had a mysterious "agenda". NE President Victor Newman said at the time hiring Carlton was a case of keeping his friends close and his enemies closer. From day one acting CEO Victoria Newman said she knew Carlton had something up his sleeve, but having no idea what it was decided to take a wait and see attitude. She later learned Carlton had stolen a marketing idea from Jabot, merged it into Division Head Dru Winter's new Seasons campaign, but didn't care so long as there were profits to be made.

This week Ms. Newman was overjoyed when Carlton presented his brilliant idea to what were described as "former Jabot clients" at a meeting held at a popular athletic club, bar & grill, gym and motel. As cosmetics go, Carlton told National Cosmetic Chain store representatives Leslie Stanton and Peter Hyler that the Seasons line will be like no other in that it contains toxic hair products. Stanton and Hyler were skeptical. Not only did they think Carlton couldn't pull off such a coup, but there was a matter of timing in that Christmas promotions are usually planned months in advance and not just pulled like rabbits from a hat.

Despite the reality, Carlton countered with his "have I ever failed" spin which went over like a lead balloon too as the reps said they've already assigned shelf space to stores in the habit of carrying toxic snake oils and the like. As the first cosmetics war taught everyone, what's most important to the almighty bottom line is to have products at eye-level on store shelves. Otherwise, sheep-like customers will overlook the often better and cheaper products if they have to reach up or bend down to get them. Besides, the reps pointed out again, it was too late to work Carlton's plan. That's when Brad pulled the ace out of his sleeve.

Unlike other cosmetics the Seasons line won't have to be sold in cosmetics departments. The line will be such a powerful one customers will snap its products up if they find them in the automotive or pet departments. Mix and match is the key. Toss a bottle of wart remover in with the celery and customers will go wild. Call it the ultimate in impulse buying.

As an added bonus Carlton offered the reps a bribe. If sales don't meet the goal Newman Enterprises will make up the difference in cash which was nearly identical to what Victor did that got him into such trouble with the law his own son stabbed him in the back. The reps went orgasmic. To hell with the late launch date, they were in hook, line and sinker telling Carlton to send the contracts over and they'd sign probably without having the lawyers look the papers over.

And so it came to pass that even before they have a product developed, even before they've run this idea past Mrs. Winters whose "baby" Seasons is supposed to be, Ms. Newman saw this deal as the greatest thing since sliced bread. Surely God have mercy she and Carlton make the best business partners on the planet which is, after all, the way it was meant to be.

In a related business development, the CEO of Jabot's parent company, Jack Abbott summoned his sister out of the dark and dank Jabot laboratory where Ashley Carlton was said to have been working even after she'd said in recent days she's cut time there in half, to tell of Carlton's meeting and that Ashley's husband - who Jack called her "ex" at a time when there's no legal divorce - is "stealing" Jabot's clients.

Ashley was not at all concerned. "Lots of companies have hair product lines" she noted, adding that if Jack is so concerned he should buy Brad out as if Brad would willingly sell what little control he has over Jabot.

Why Must It Always Be About War?

August 17, 2005

Newman Enterprises goon Brad Carlton is prepared to take action against Jabot Cosmetics and all options appear to be on the table whenever said table isn't being used to have sex on by office employees. The prelude to another cosmetics war is no secret nor is there a need for the element of surprise. Rumors of war have already spread to Jabot warriors including chief skunk oil sniffer Ashley Carlton. Those unaware of the history might think of the name Carlton as a conflict, but it's not. During the last war Mr. and Mrs. Victor Newman were on opposite sides and while they argued often about it the war went on without a hitch. That Ashley remains legally married to Brad does not mean they cannot participate in war because they have an agreement allowing both to do as they please including dating other men and women.

What perturbs Ashley most is that Brad was already employed at Newman when the pumping began and to compound matters is now taunting her with full custody of the child she bore with sperm stolen from Victor. As Ashley sees it there's a method to Brad's madness of using Abby Carlton as bait. In order to facilitate the custody Ashley would have to "slow" her research and development of new products that would compete with Newman's new 'Seasons' line. That Ashley couldn't come up with any ideas of her own for new products during the last war, was so desperate she had to go all the way to Paris to get some from the French, does not matter now.

Now, apparently, Ashley is reeking with new product idea to the point where Brad must use a five-year-old girl, rapidly aged to eight but still acting like three, as bait to get the jump on his war. Jack Abbott understands this. "I think it's clear as day. We're losing our competitive edge," he actually said. As CEO of Jabot's parent company Jack knows too that Brad has been pumping current Jabot CEO, his former stepmother and lover, Jill Abbott for information about Jabot's new line of hair products which will be, like last time, the spoils of this new war.

Crazy as all this fear mongering is among old friends and lovers and shouldn't we just keep our mouths shut about our battle plans around the enemy hasn't stopped Ashley from fraternizing with Brad. She gladly meets with him at public restaurants and sputters of having cut her hours at Jabot at a time when the company is losing its edge. In Ashley's pea brain it's okay no lab rat has been hired to fill the gap because she hasn't quit. Had she terminated Brad would somehow see this as neglecting Abby and this, as Ashley beamed, is what she's up to so it makes absolute sense for him to tell her what he's up to, too.

What Brad is trying to finagle isn't exactly clear except he wants to get 'Seasons' at eye-level on store shelves before Christmas. As noted previously, this includes new hair care products, a staple in any cosmetics war. Brad has even projected sales for the not yet to be produced (somewhere in Malaysia using child labor) products and may never be produced given Newman lackey Neil Winters has "real problems with Brad's strategy and accused him of concocting a proposed war "behind my back." That the war seems lost before it's waged was further evidenced by the fact Neil has said that if Brad goes to war "you won't win."

So why are there so many rumors of war going around? Why do the warmongers wait until the last minute to wage them without the proper armament? Why do they share battle plans, cavort with the enemy and whine about the damage done to the affected parties when the parties are all intertwined and supposedly the best of friends? If Brad wants to get even with Jack why doesn't he look into Jack's income taxes or what senator Jack is paying off? Why can't Brad come up with something creative? Why must it always be about war?

Stuck In One's Way

August 15, 2005

Fear of another cosmetics war ratcheted up here this week when members of the Newman family gathered together to say there is a real possibility of it happening. Whether the Safra product line of the Newman Enterprises Cosmetics Division will be the primary warring factor this time as it was last, or whether the Rash & Sassy line for teens will see action, Newman executive Brad Carlton confirmed the company's newest line 'Seasons' will be unveiled in time to play that role should war break out.

Like everything in Genoa City cosmetics wars are strange. In position to command the invasion pacifistic Newman CEO Victoria Newman said Monday she knows Carlton is anxious to talk to her about something, but didn't know what. Rather than asking him point blank, as she has everything else thus far since returning from Italy, Victoria ran to her father to ask if he might know what Brad wants to speak with her about.

The great Victor Newman, having approved for former competitor's employment, said it's most likely Brad only wants to use his company as a way to get even with former Jabot Cosmetics CEO, Jack Abbott.

Using the family business as a means of revenge worries Jabot employee Nikki Newman. "I can't get through another company war," she said, adding her hope that Victor doesn't egg Brad on.

Aware that her mother is so fragile she can't even attend Daniel Romalotti's trial, Victoria said today she and the warmongers will "keep that in mind" before engaging the enemy. Also sensitive to all the trauma his wife has been through in recent days Victor asked Nikki, "You're not very happy about this [potential war] are you?"

Rather than remind Victor of the trouble he got into during the last war, that like all blood-letting war never solves anything and after all was said and done Jabot still thrives, Nikki also said she doesn't want the feud between the Abbotts and the Newmans renewed as doing so would drag her daughter into the mess which was, supposedly, the reason Victoria left town last time. Incredibly, Victor asked, "Why would you think that?" Why would anyone think as CEO Victoria would not be leading the charge if war broke out? Would she merely sit back and let others do the dirty work? Wouldn't afterwards the Newmans and the Abbotts smoke the peace pipe, say what good friends they are and maybe have old man John Abbott knock Victor on his ass in his own house for good measure?

Like so many of her amazing conversations with Victor are, Nikki said Victoria is "anxious" to please daddy. If war is what daddy wants, war is what daddy will get with his darling daughter waving the flag. Victor did not say, "Funny you should say that given how Victoria swore up and down she'd never run the empire and wouldn't be right now had she not decided as a favor to her brother to do so in Cassie Newman's memory."

As further proof was needed that another cosmetics war will not be anymore successful than the first, Brad's mind-numbing plan is to get the 'Seasons' line to market in time for the 2005 Christmas season. This will include expanding hair products all of which no doubt have been concocted deep within the bowels of the Newman Empire in some never before seen laboratory by a lab rat looking suspiciously like Damon Porter.

Why Jabot needed someone to develop a "silver bullet" to save it and Newman Enterprises didn't was never fully understood nor does why NE is even in the business. What makes Carlton think another war will help him get even with Jack Abbott (for giving Jabot's CEO carrot to Jill Abbott) makes no sense for the reason stated above. To be clear: it's already been proven that poor toxic cosmetics sales cannot break Jabot.

That's inevitable for a war of choice, not necessity, that is conceived in hatred from the start. The Tuvia/Safra skirmish failed miserably with Victor ending up with egg on his face and a criminal record to boot. A year has passed since that horrible trauma and now Carlton is setting himself and the Newmans up to make asses of themselves, not because Jabot attacked them, but because it makes Jack a better target and nobody pushes a former hedge clipper/pool boy around without his quitting and seeking revenge by going to work for the competition.

Carlton's other theory is that launching another war will give Victoria the opportunity to prove she's the one who should be running NE on a permanent basis when Victoria had said all along she didn't want to be involved in the Newman mess for all the tearing apart of the family it does. But then this is Genoa City where people aren't happy unless they're engaged in some tragedy so that they might overcome, deliver high-fives, you can't keep a Newman down ravings all around, now please bring on the next crisis. They've been doing this for more than 30 years so there's something to be said about being stuck in one's ways.