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An Open Letter to Jill Abbott

The Make-Believe CEO

October 18, 2006
by Brent Kellogg

My Dearest Jill,

You know I have always been your biggest fan. I cheered when you became Genoa City's female version of Springfield's Alan Spaulding (Guiding Light) and felt the power you held over Jabot Cosmetics like an iron fist. By present day standards, you put to shame weasels like your former lover/step-son Jack Abbott, Victoria Carlton and Nick Newman, to name a few. I tried looking the other way when you slept with your husband's son and after making such a fuss over knowing who your biological father was, allowed Arthur Hendricks to leave the city without so much as a peep. To my knowledge, you've never asked about Art since. You've never called or written the old judge. No communication of any sort is the way Arthur said he wanted it, but good God woman, the man is your father. Wouldn't you at a least like to if he's still alive?

And what about Liz Foster? Do you ever contact her? Sure, it's a long-distance call to London, but you've got lots of money - don't you? I know it's not worth much, but you still own 20% of Jabot - don't you? As a significant shareholder, shouldn't you have been consulted with regard to Jabot's recent sale? How could you let your mother go around claiming to own 51% of Jabot, and those disgusting Abbott kids 49%? Did Mama Katherine Sterling buy you out while I was napping? What do you have to show for all the trouble you went through to get that twenty-percent?

You're the CEO of Jabot?

It's a nice title, Jill. But that's all it is. You have no power. You are a straw man. A suit. Jack has more power over Jabot than you do, and by court order, Jack's not supposed to have anything to do with Jabot. But he does. He's the real CEO. I know, you don't know. You never guessed he played any role in the sale of Jabot and can't see the "I'm the Boss" sign Jack practically wears on his back. Why is that, Jill? Are you too caught up with trying to get Will Bardwell in your bed? True, you haven't had sex with a man since Larry Warton, but c'mon. You can do better than Will. Look at the man. He's like death warmed over. He's a geezer. Leave Will to Mrs. Bug Eyes, or that back-stabbing, baby-killing, sperm-stealing bitch, Ashley Abbott. I'm sure there are plenty of young studs somewhere in Genoa City willing to service you. Sure, you'd have to pay them, but I bet they'd be more pleasurable than the Magic Hitachi. Hell, I'd service you myself only I'm married, and unlike the immoral majority, don't go around cheating on my wife with her sister.

Speaking of Ashley, when did you two become best buds? I recall when Ashley was putting more knives in your back than she was her own brother. The bitch was always bad-mouthing you to her faux father and anyone who would listen. She never trusted you, yet here you are paling around with her and she's defending you? If my back was as scarred as yours I'd be keeping a close eye on it, Jill. I cannot emphasize enough what a wicked witch Ashley is even though I did feel sorry for her when Dru and Olivia Winters were using her breast cancer to their advantage.

Don't tell me you're not Ashley's friend. I heard her pretending to feel sorry for you, and you, with those puppy-dog eyes, had to ask a stinking skunk oil sniffer how it was that Jack has so much pull with Jabot's new owner. You couldn't figure that out, Jill? You didn't see through Ashley's charade? When you turned down Jack's suggestion to expand Jabot's tie-in with NVP, and later got a call from Mr. Kim Chee overriding your decision, you didn't have any idea Ashley was involved? Damn, Jill. You and Paul 'Clueless' Williams should become a team.

While Ashley's been kissing your ass, she's been conspiring with Jack. When Ashley defended you this week during that meeting with Mr. Chee, during which Chee treated you like a child, behind that mask Ashley's foul mouth was dripping with venom. I know, the bitch later chewed Jack out for humiliating you, but it's part of the ruse. So long as Ashley stands to profit, she will walkover whomever gets in her way. Think about it, Jill. It's so similar to war. On the outside, warmongers cry about the death. On the inside, they laugh while they count profits.

All that truth aside, here's what's pissing me off about you Jill. You say you feel like an "outsider" looking in. You say this is how it's always been. So why are you surprised? Look through your DayTimer. See all those "not consulted" entries? We're talking major business decisions here. A real CEO, a 20% share holder, would have spoken up. So why haven't you? Why haven't you demanded a say in the day-to-day operations at Jabot? Please, don't start bawling especially in front of that bitch whom you should have kicked out of Jabot long ago.

Jill, I'm disappointed. You've let me down. You should be the most powerful woman in Genoa City. You were, but not anymore. Not when you whimper and whine to that woman, if Ashley's really a woman, who, with Jack, nearly destroyed Jabot. Not when you won't sit Mr. Chee down and show him the list of things Ashley and Jack have done to drive Jabot to bankruptcy and forced it to pay millions in interest fees for loans to keep the company afloat.

Please, Jill, get a grip. Ask yourself why Ashley showed up at that meeting with Mr. Chee. Ask how it is that Ashley is still President of Jabot and as such would appear to have more power than you, the make-believe CEO.

Will & Jill

June 27, 2006
by Brent Kellogg

So many things in Genoa City can happen in "about an hour" I'm not surprised Jill Abbott determined today that in the span of less than sixty minutes there is "chemistry" between herself and District Attorney Will Bardwell. It would have been more credible had Jill met Bardwell at least once while he was trying hard to put her former husband away for murdering Tom Fisher in cold blood. Had she done that, had Jill expressed more than a passing interest in the fact that John 'Yawn' Abbott was on his way to prison, she could have used her sexual prowess on Bardwell like she did on Keith Dennison when she literally screwed Dennison as part of a business deal. Within minutes of meeting Dennison for the first time, she whisked him away for some sex thereby convincing him to sell the company she needed.

Jill could have sucked around and cajoled Bardwell into dropping the charges against Yawn so that later, after connecting with Bardwell on the Internet and going on a blind date with him, she could have told her mother it wasn't like Bardwell was some sailor she picked up on Pier 39. Had the budding love affair been established long ago Jill wouldn't now be on the brink of having to compete with that bitch Ashley Abbott for Will's affection. Katherine Sterling wouldn't have had to tell Will she approves of Internet dating and so long as Will treats Jill nice, he has her blessing as if to say the pushing sixty-year-old Jill needs her parents approval before dating and must be home by ten.

I suppose too, Will wouldn't have had to say that he won't treat Jill any other way when less is known about his past then Brad Carlton's and most likely Will is another Dr. Tooth Decay who beats his women which would explain why a pushing seventy Will isn't married. Then again, from the looks of those sunken eyes and sagging skin, I'd say Will is alcoholic, has prostate cancer or both. If it's cancer, if it's so much as an enlarged prostate making Will look like death warmed over, he won't last one night in Jill's bed.

If Jill kicks him, Katherine might want to be there to pick up Will's pee bag as she and Will look like they'd make a fine couple. Of course, Katherine runs the risk that Will has a bastard son out there somewhere or that he's really Jill's father and what a fine mess that would be. Not that Jill would care, for all her determination to find out who her father was she hasn't lifted a finger to find out whatever happened to Arthur Hendricks since the Seattle judge blew the Chancellor Mausoleum pop stand nearly three years ago. Poor Jill, if she's not trying to steal Liz Foster's husband, if she not stealing Katherine's men, she's having to fight with Ashley over some old geezer.

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