Please visit this merchant

Ways you can support the GCN

Mother's From Hell Day

May 12, 2006
by Brent Kellogg

You don't need me telling you how creepy Mother's Day, or any day for that matter, in Genoa City can be. But I don't think there's ever been one quite as pathetic than this year's Mother's Day starting with the mother of mothers, Phyllis Summers.

Seeing herself as somewhat disenfranchised from Daniel Romalotti whom she sees just about every damn day, when Daniel and his new bride stopped by Phyllis' pod she acted as if it was the second coming of Christ. Assuming her son had come to give her a gift on this special day, Phyllis choked back the bile when she was handed a muffin.

A freaking muffin?

Sure enough. Down on their luck, struggling newly weds and all, muffins were the best gift these two kids could conjure up on short notice and even then the muffins appeared somewhat burnt.

"We're not very good in the kitchen," Lily croaked, and as Phyllis suggested Daniel have a bite he declined, noting that he and Lily had already had their fill, or swill as the case may be, in the car on the way over!

Never one afraid to say how she really feels, Phyllis said a card or a phone call would have been nice, but she'd settle for seeing Daniel and in case he'd forgotten, reminded him that she's still his mother and always will be his mother.

His skin crawling, because Phyllis slept with a married man, something he'd never do, Daniel wanted to bail and as he and Lily made a move for the door Phyllis said how "honored" she was that her son and "daughter" had remembered her on Mother's Day.

Daughter?

Lily couldn't believe her pointed ears.

Had she really wanted to make an impression, Lily could have taken a few lessons from Noah Newman but more on that in a moment.

At the wooden box where Lily recently lived with her parents, her foster son was engaged in some major sucking up to Lily's mother. Devon Hamilton laid a kiss on Dru Winters, wished her a happy Mother's Day and squeezing an "oh baby" out of the dog asked if there was anything, anything at all, her could do for Mrs. Win..., um, "No! Call me Mom" Dru insisted as Devon began kowtowing.

Terrible as things are within the clan right now, suck as they do on Mother's Day, Devon wanted Dru to know that things will turn around. He was willing to go so far as to serve Dru some chicken and waffles (no joke) when a snitty Neil slammed in. Immediately, Devon dropped to his knees. Could he make the day special for Neil too? Neil took a pass as Devon sputtered of having spoken on the phone with his real mother.

Cast out of Genoa City like a bad habit after trying to seduce Neil, Yolanda Hamilton reported from Seattle that she's still living with her sister and holding down what was described a "good" job. Not bad for a woman who kicked a $500 per day Meth habit. As for whether he told his mother of the problems within his dysfunctional family, Devon said no, it wouldn't be prudent.

"It's our family's business," Devon hacked, and as his nose went deeper into the ass of family values, told Neil and Dru that when he made the decision to be the little boy they never had, "I did the right thing."

Then, switching from passive to aggressive, Devon told the Winters again that they are his family - no matter what.

No matter that as Devon was so proud to be a part of such an all-American family, the little bitch, the apple fallen from Dru's tree, Lily arrived with her husband, more muffins and more we-are-so-poor BS dripping from their lips.

"What are you doing here?" Dru hacked.

"Jesus, bitch! Chill out!" Lily did not say, but you know should have given it was Mother's Day for Christ's sake.

When Neil saw who it was he did, of course, puke all over Lily who blew up when Dru's tone of voice wasn't to her liking as did Neil who stormed out again saying Dru is not the same Dru he thought he knew.

So, okay, you might be saying right about now, there must have been some real love somewhere on this day of days - wasn't there?

If there was it wasn't at the Chancellor Mausoleum where Katherine Sterling was looking at a booklet granddaughter Mac Browning had given her as a gift. A collage of forgotten photos Mac had found in the attic, Katherine especially liked the one of her son, Brock Reynolds, and her newly discovered daughter, Jill Abbott. Oh, the memories that must have been swirling in Katherine's head of Brock and Jill almost getting married.

"I'm going to treasure it," Katherine actually said, when what she should have said to Mac was, "What in hell is wrong with you giving me such frightful crap on Mother's Day?"

Still they both laughed it off as Mac belched that the trees have been whispering in her ear again and she must, she must, go to New Orleans to help her pa build homes for the victims of Katrina - or something. And Katherine, always the sap, recalled all the years she "lost" with Brock when, if she were a mind to, Katherine could get off her fat ass and go see Brock or vice-versa. Ah, but you know how it is. Louisiana is "so far away" Mac said without thinking the Indian reservation is even further, or Paris for that matter where Lauren Baldwin says she's going on a "buying trip" and will be sure to bring back a real special treat for her mother-in-law, Gloria Abbott as a sort of bonus Mother's Day gift.

Now the good part. The insane part. The part that makes you ask "Would they please let Cassie Newman rest in peace? Can't they see what makes Noah Newman gay?"

Out at the Newman Ponderosa, down at the Outhouse where she still lives with the man who cheated on her again and who keeps saying he's moving out but never does, Sharon Newman was fondling an old, handmade Mother's Day card her dead daughter had given her for a Mother's Day gone by when Cassie was six. As a point of fact, Sharon said she's saved every damn card Cassie ever gave her and is thinking about putting them in a book that she can have "forever" and better collect dust in the attic.

Nick Newman, bonehead that he is, thought it was a wonderful idea. Said too what a great "artist" Cassie was. Too bad she's dead. Alas, they still have Noah who sleepy-eyed, handed Sharon a freaking coupon book as her Mother's Day gift. No ordinary coupon book like those things people sell door to door for a $1 off at the carwash twenty miles away, Noah's book included a coupon for breakfast in bed!

Quite the little chef he, Noah also planned to cook his granny Nikki breakfast in bed too, but first Nick said they should do something special for Cassie as a reward for her having saved his mother's life. What might that something be that hasn't already been done and cannot compare with the shrine erected for Cassie at the Jitter Joint?

A benefit!

Sharon was elated at the thought of it all. Why, who knows? Maybe they could get Jerry Lewis to do a telethon. God knows, as Sharon said, more must be done to memorialize Cassie.

See also: Mother's Day 2004  Viewpoint Special