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See Also: Lauren Fenmore

Incredible Drama - Sheila is Alive!

December 22, 2006
by Brent Kellogg

The GCN reported recently that Sheila Carter is alive and expected to return to Genoa City. At the time details were sketchy. Not anymore.

Before reading on, if you need to be medicated when reading about the antics in this city, take your meds now and wait for the drug to kick in.

Ready?

As expected, Sheila wants to eat Lauren Baldwin's baby, Fen-Fen, which explains why Lauren acts as she does. While she hasn't said anything, deep down Lauren worries that Sheila, who she's been told is dead, will rise again to kidnap Fen like Sheila kidnapped Scottie Grainger.

Too busy defending Devon Hamilton, Lauren's hubby hasn't paid much attention to Lauren's demeanor. Sure, Lauren is acting weird, but when hasn't she been weird? Upset that the city's most clueless private detective withdrew from the Hamilton case without giving a credible reason, Michael Baldwin thinks Paul Williams is hiding something. Williams is, but it's not what Michael thinks.

To humor himself, Michael plans to tail Williams. He will follow behind in his car and Williams, as usual, won't have a clue. Quite by accident, Williams will shake the tail when Michael gets caught in traffic. Arriving at what has been described as "a very mysterious location" Williams will find himself in a room designed to look like a nursery. A human presence is felt and soon a woman with long hair will be standing with her back to the clueless one. Surprised, Williams turns around and comes eyeball to eyeball with -

Phyllis Newman!

As previously reported, Sheila had plastic surgery to make her look like Phyllis.

Those who know, say the nip/tuck was Sheila's way of not only coming back to Genoa City, but getting close to her enemies!

As Sheila did during her last visit, there will be much lurking. Sheila will avoid being seen at the same time where the real Phyllis is. The premise is that when people talk with Phyllis they won't be able to tell whether she's real or Memorex. Take for example Sheila's being invited into the Baldwin condom. Michael and Lauren won't have a clue that Phyllis is really Sheila. Get it?

So what does Sheila want?

What has she always wanted?

A baby!

Not just any baby either. Only Lauren's baby will do. That's what the nursery is for. Sheila was planning to snatch Fen-Fen. Not just any nursery either, Sheila's has bars on it.

Do you see the similarity? Think back. Think remote cabin in snow-capped Colorado. Think Lisa Mansfield. Do you see again how what goes around comes around?

Oh, but there's a twist. There is more to Williams' secret that he helped Brad Carlton kill two Nazis.

He's been holding Sheila captive since October!

The hell, you might say.

Seems Williams found out that Sheila had planned to kidnap Lauren along with Fen. Her plan went up in smoke when Williams snatched her. Those needing to know more will see flashbacks of Sheila going shopping as Phyllis. Williams happens to spot her and noticing there isn't something quite right about her, follows her to the mysterious location. Williams won't incarcerate Sheila that day, he'll go back a few days later and do it then.

You might think too, well, what's the problem if Sheila has been busted?

Silly goose, there's always got to be a complication. Sheila keeps getting away and Williams can't take the chance of turning her into the police.

Locked up like an animal, Sheila won't be pleased. For weeks she will think about escaping and have many conversations with her reflection in Time Magazine's Person of the Year issue - or something. Like Brad, Sheila will beg and plead with Williams. She'll ask him to tell someone what he's done so that in the event she dies at least one person will know what became of her.

A prudent person, Williams isn't. He's gone off the deep end and sees himself as Lauren's and Fen-Fen's protector. He will be willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for his friends, few and far between as they may be. Worse yet, this ruse could go on for freaking months as Williams does his best to live a lie.

For the naysayer, there is this word from those who bring us this crap. In the coming daze there will be "twists". There will be incredible drama. And really, isn't it always incredible?

In a Farmhouse Far Away

October 23, 2006
by Brent Kellogg

Is Phyllis Summers dead? Is that woman on the plane today with Nick Newman jetting to Wyoming, or wherever the hell Phyllis met Rocky the cowboy in a bar, really Sheila Carter? You asking me? You think I'd give away this explosive plot? Like you, the best I can do is report what I know and let you decide.

The thing I want to know is why Nick puts up with a woman who can't stop thinking about another man. I'm guessing Nick would get off watching Rocky put the pork to Phyllis so he can see how a real man does it. I figure since Nick put up with Sharon cheating on him so often he's used to his woman lusting after other men. Nick did, after all, fly Rocky into Genoa City to celebrate his birthday and engagement. So now here they are on a plane, going off to elope, and Phyllis is wanting to go back to the bar? Hey, Nick! It ain't the honky-tonk music Phyllis craves.

Besides Nick's idiotic remark that watching Phyllis drool over Rocky made him realize he wants to be with Phyllis forever and ever, what had me laughing was Phyllis saying she can't wait to hear her son's reaction to her elopement. Daniel Romalotti eloped too with that thing so he won't be able to say he's the only one to have done it or, as children of the corn so often do, scold mommy for running off with a man albeit it made of straw. Yes indeed, Daniel running off with the minor Lily Winters, their forging documents and general lying can be considered eloping too and aren't we so proud of the little buggers emulating Mommy and Daddy.

To help us figure out whether this is the real Phyllis, let's look at what we know so far and ask where exactly Paul 'Clueless' Williams is getting his information? Does he have operatives in Argentina? Without having to leave Genoa City, like he did a number of times while tracking down the Nazis, is someone in Argentina sending Clueless all this information? The photos of a dead Sheila with her appearance changed to resemble Phyllis? Who took the photos? How does Clueless know Sheila didn't take the pictures? Why did he say last week that Sheila is out there somewhere? How did he know Sheila killed the plastic surgeon? Did Argentine officials tell him? What gave officials there cause to run a DNA check?

Before getting to what Clueless told the very scared that Sheila will eat her baby Lauren Baldwin, let's examine Lauren's demand that no one be allowed to see "Fenmore". If, as Lauren worries, if as Lauren knows, Sheila is capable to escaping from a prison nut house and appearing to her on the roof of the condom where Lauren lives, shouldn't Lauren fear that any one of those nurses and doctors hovering over her baby at the God Have Mercy Medical Center ICU could be Sheila?

Why throw a fit when Gina Roma showed up for a look see at the baby? Sure, Gina looked like she was on a bender, she had wanted to give a freaking 2-day-old baby a teddy bear, but if Lauren had any concern it should have been what Gina was doing there at all. Who told her about the kid when so few people know? Are there standing orders at the nurse's station that Gina is to be informed of all births? Does Gina get first dibs on afterbirth? Does Gina mix it into the eyeball soup she serves at the Athletic Supporter Bar & Grill?

It was nice to see that the GHM has changed its policy on providing special security for babies at risk, however. With hospital costs rising, the GHM refused the Baldwin request that it place guards outside the ICU to protect the precious Fenmore, and refused to allow the Baldwin's to bring in private security. Lauren was outraged. Doesn't the hospital know who she is? Sorry, Lauren. You may be rich, but you haven't funded a wing at the GHM.

Okay, you've been waiting for the kicker; the kick to your collective intelligence. Clueless and Michael Baldwin told Lauren they didn't have time to tell the hospital security chief, who by the way it's a wonder isn't J.T. Hellstrom, about Sheila's past or that Sheila is dead!

What the hell?

How long could it have taken to say that Sheila is crazy and has wanted to kill Lauren for years and could the GHM make an exception? How long would it have taken for Clueless to say, oh, by the way, Sheila is dead so I don't know why we need security?

So what did Baldwin and Clueless do? They summoned J.T. Like the good lapdog he is, J.T. zipped up his pants and arriving at the GHM was addressed by Michael as Jeffery Todd apparently to make J.T. sound important. Asked if he's seen Fenmore, J.T. said he got a glimpse of the bundle of joy and thought Fenmore was so cute as Clueless took off leaving Michael to bring J.T. up to speed on Sheila.

Say what?

Isn't Clueless the private eye? Shouldn't Clueless, with all the information he's getting on Sheila, be the one to tell J.T.? Well, yes, presuming J.T. and Clueless are PIs, which they aren't. Not really.

It gets better. Like before, when they took the prison/nut house word for it that Sheila was under lock and key, and that her terrorizing days were over, the Baldwins didn't ask for proof! They took Clueless' word for it that Sheila is dead.

How many times do they need to get burned before they learn not to touch a hot stove? Christ, Fenmore's only 2-days old and he knows better. Yet these boobs, scared as they are, knowing that Clueless is responsible for letting Sheila get away the last time, take Clueless' word for anything? They feel safe and secure with a hunkmonkey on the case?

Why, if Sheila is dead, is there a case at all? Who or what is there for J.T. to investigate?

See? You want to feel some empathy for these freaks only they're so damn stupid you can only hope they die. You want Lauren put out of her misery because she, of all people, should know not to trust the clueless twins.

Is Phyllis dead too?

The answer would seem self-evident. Given that we know Clueless is clueless, given that Sheila isn't likely to let herself get hit by a car, Sheila must be alive and pretending to be Phyllis who, if she isn't dead, is being held captive in a farmhouse on the outskirts of Genoa City.

Living in Fear

October 20, 2006
by Brent Kellogg

As a rule the GCN wouldn't burst this bubble but it's so far-fetched and so close to happening that I, czar that I am, decided to break the news.

Besides being convoluted, some readers may find this confusing so please, pay attention. Follow the bouncing eye brows.

On Monday we will learn that Sheila Carter swiped Phyllis Summers' identity. When Sheila was last seen she was showing a plastic surgeon a photo which everyone presumed was Lauren Fenmore and told the surgeon to make her look like that woman.

Turns out the woman was Phyllis. Turns out too that Phyllis is dead.

How can this be when Phyllis is pregnant with Nick Newman's baby and the two are about to elope? Easy! Sheila apparently killed Phyllis during one of those trips Phyllis took out of town on business.

We'll see the dead body in a photo Paul 'Clueless' Williams presents to Lauren and Michael Baldwin proving to the Baldwin's that Sheila is dead and for Lauren to stop jumping at shadows. As we are all too aware, Lauren was deathly afraid that Sheila would come back and eat her baby. When she learns Sheila is dead, without of course asking how Clueless knows this for a fact, Lauren will let out a big fart. She will be so grateful and ain't it nice that she and her hubby can move on with their lives raising a baby boy named Fenmore.

And what a move trying to explain to a boy why his parents gave him a girlie name might be. What will the kids at school call Fenmore? Fen? Fenny? What a god awful name to give a boy and all because Michael didn't like the name Michael Baldwin Jr. for fear people would call the kid Mikey.

Memo to Fenmore:

The day you turn eighteen legally change your name! Try to undo the psychological damage. It'll probably be too late as you, like other rich and spoiled Genoa City kids, will have suffered a series of emotional breakdowns. It's likely you will have run away a number of times and been in trouble with the law and seen your parents divorce by then, but go for it. If you're prone to ingenuity you might find a judge before you're eighteen who will bend the law just for you.

As to why Sheila wanted to look like Phyllis, only Sheila seems to know. Sheila is, we've been told, a "phoenix". She rises from the ashes. She cannot die. She would have to be pregnant like Phyllis and since she didn't know Phyllis was pregnant - or ever knew Phyllis - before fleeing to Argentina how did she know Phyllis is pregnant? Did she make the switch before Nick and Phyllis had sex? Is that Nick's baby in her belly or Tom Fisher's? How would looking like Phyllis help Sheila get closer to Lauren? Because Phyllis has said she can't wait for Fen and her baby to become best buds?

What is it Sheila wants from Lauren? During her last visit to Genoa City, didn't Sheila say she wanted Scottie Grainger to be her son? Isn't Scottie still available to play that role? God knows, Lauren doesn't want Scottie. I'm not sure Lauren noticed that Scottie left town and was all but forgotten the day Lauren's sorry ass was rescued the last time from Sheila's grasp. I'm not sure Lauren or Baldwin has informed Scottie he's got a new half-brother. Wouldn't Scottie like to be informed of such an event insomuch as these people are supposed to be so family oriented?

Considering they were told the last time that Sheila was safely locked away and it turned out she wasn't, you think the Baldwin's will ask for a DNA check this time? You think they would believe anything Williams tells them given it's Williams' fault that Sheila is still alive? As co-founder of NVP, won't anyone notice that Phyllis suddenly knows little about NVP? Won't Daniel Romalotti be able to recognize his own mother? When Nick puts the pork to Phyllis he can't tell one vagina from the other? Has screwing Sharon Newman so much numbed Nick's nuts?

So many questions, so few answers except this one: These people can't get over themselves. They cannot be happy. They are destined to live their miserable lives in fear.

Just Say No to Psychos

October 10, 2006
by Michael Kelly

Despite the fact Sheila Carter's name has been mentioned several times onscreen in recent days, as of this writing I'm unaware of any plans to bring the stale psycho back to Genoa City. Needless to say, just hearing her name (or that of her none-too-creative alias Lauren Scott) is enough to make me yawn.

I sincerely hope this Sheila nonsense is merely Lynn Marie Latham's idea of a joke or one hell of a revolting red herring. Make no mistake. I don't care if Sheila has a surgically altered face or what name she calls herself. It also matters not if the role is played by its originator Kimberlin Brown, Meryl Streep or Lizzie Piss. I don't want to lay eyes on this cartoon villain ever again.

Let's face it. Like her despicable, male, too dumb to stay dead, daytime peers Stephano DiMera of Daze of our Lives and James Stenbeck on As The Stomach Turns, Sheila was played out long before the dawn of the new millennium. The only thing more resilient than these hoary cardboard cut-outs is the creative bankruptcy of the hacks responsible for resurrecting them umpteen times.

Enough is enough. I urge Latham or one of her minions to surf the Y&R message boards where it's abundantly clear the vast majority of fans would rather eat red ants than endure the likes of used up, pathetic Sheila again. Let Sheila tell that dullard Scotty Grainger he wants her. Let her find a man of her own and give birth to her own gnome. God knows if her hapless eternal victim Lauren Fenmore can still pop out a pygmy, the same is possible for the Carter hag.

Whatever hissing harridan Sheila does, it had better be far away from my TV. Despite being a Y&R purist for nearly 25 years who watches the show in real time due to its late afternoon timeslot, I'll channel surf through Sheila before I'll allow her to ever again stink up my screen.

Sheila Carter Has the Last Laugh

January 11, 2006
by Brent Kellogg

Are you confused? I'm confused. I don't understand how Scotty Grainger can have this long chat with the person he identified as his writing partner, tell the woman he knows who she really is, get stabbed a couple times by the woman when she freaks out like one of those scary things in Doom 3 and still not know the woman wasn't Sheila Carter.

It's amazing that the woman arrested that day at the Sugar Shack, the woman who knew so much detail about Scotty's life as a babe and how she wanted a child so much she was willing to pull a baby switch and tried repeatedly without success to kill Scotty's mother, could ramble on like she did and Scotty still not figure out the woman wasn't Sheila.

The woman, as it turns out, was "Sugar" the nut house warden who agreed to have plastic surgery so as to look like Sheila, was later busted and presumably in custody in California coping some plea that Sheila tricked her. It's amazing, that for all the authorities knew about "Sugar" steps were never taken to at least keep a close eye on the woman.

As to why she attacked Scotty, "Sugar" said Wednesday at the Genoa City cop house she had to attack Scotty because Sheila ruined her life and the only way to get even was to hurt Scotty. For all her rage Sugar couldn't pull it off. Her so-called assault with a deadly weapon amounted to little more than an old lady trying to hijack a plane with a pen knife.

So as it stands private detective Paul Williams was right when he said "nobody is safe" until Sheila is found. Shelia's still out there - somewhere - having the last laugh and while she should be getting credit for saving Lauren's miserable life, that credit was given to the dearly departed Tom Fisher who left Lauren and Sheila alone to die in a crumbling bomb shelter reeking of natural gas.

The gas is still leaking and it's still natural. Only this time the smell worse than rotting eggs is coming from the butts of Genoa City police detectives who, had Lauren and her husband not happened by the cop house for a look at Sheila with their own eyes, might very well be holding the wrong woman. Not that Sugar wasn't Scotty's attacker, but the cops didn't bother running her fingerprints until after Lauren said the woman in custody wasn't Sheila.

Is this any way to run a police department? And what's up in this godforsaken city with everyone having their cell phones turned off? Isn't this a time of crisis? Wasn't Lauren's funeral about to start and shouldn't have everyone who loved Lauren so much and wanted to say their final farewells had their phones on in the event of some last minute notice of cancellation or car breakdown or - gasp - news that Lauren wasn't dead?

Where was the news media? If Ashley Carlton's arrest for killing Fisher was in all the papers and on CNN shouldn't news of Lauren's return from the grave have been beamed far and wide? First Scotty couldn't be reached because his phone was turned off and then Kevin Fisher couldn't be reached with news that his brother's wife, the woman he was once in love with is alive, because his phone was off?

I suppose I shouldn't complain. I was grumbling just the other day that Sheila should have died in the farmhouse rubble so she could go down in a blaze of glory as having done at least one good thing in her life. That Sheila is alive, that she's right now having her face worked on so she might come back to haunt Lauren and Scotty because they so deserve being haunted, means she'll have to be satisfied having the last laugh.

The Dead Don't Die

January 10, 2006
by Brent Kellogg

Nobody knows exactly how many times Genoa City's most clueless private detective has bragged about what a great PI he is or how many times during the Sheila Carter/Tom Fisher fiasco he told those in danger not to worry because either he or the cops, most likely the cops, would catch the bad persons and make them "pay".

Nobody knows how many times Paul 'Clueless' Williams has said any of these things because it became obvious twenty years ago he can't punch his way out of a wet paper bag much less solve a case and during all those years has been credited with solving only half a case. With the atrocious record Williams has it's a wonder anyone hires him and that he's retained at all probably has something to do with the fact he works for free.

The first three times Clueless bungled the Carter/Fisher case notwithstanding, consider what should be the writing on the wall; the message that the time is long overdue for Clueless to find a new line of work.

Aware that Carter survived the farmhouse bomb shelter cave-in, aware that she was still on the loose and that at least one of her intended victims was still at risk, Clueless' first priority wasn't to call those in danger or the police to alert them as to where Carter might be found. Clueless couldn't do that because until he'd made his way all the way back to the city and found that Fenmore had gone to the Chapel of Love to be with her grieving husband, he had no idea where Carter might be. It was only after Lauren tipped Clueless as to where the evil one might be that Clueless got a clue and even then he was too late.

By the time police arrived at the downtown Sugar Shack where Fenmore's son had been found bleeding from at least one stab wound inflicted by Carter, it was too late. Scotty Grainger had his fateful encounter with the woman depraved enough to have wanted him for a son. It was only by a stroke of genius that as Carter opened the door to leave police were waiting outside to take her into custody.

Clueless' immortal words, "No one is safe until we find her" were eclipsed only by Grainger's hilarious refusal to accept medical treatment. Like Billy Abbott struck in the head with a fireplace poker at the hands of Ralph Hunnicutt only to refuse medical treatment, like Victoria Newman having been hit in the head with a candlestick holder only to refuse treatment, like Ryan McNeil hit in the head with a baseball bat only to refuse treatment and Victor Newman hit in the head with a beer bottle only to refuse treatment, Scotty refused treatment too.

If there are two good things to come out of what appears to be the absolute end of the Carter/Fisher debacle, it's that Fisher is dead and Carter is back behind bars. That Carter is returned to the nut house from which she was cracked by a warden named "Sugar" is the most probable explanation we'll ever get as to what became of Sheila Carter. Thanks to the bumbling fool Clueless is, thanks to the tainted crime scenes and general mess he created single-handedly, no other charges but escape could be brought against Carter and stick. And for that the taxpayers of Genoa City should be grateful. Clueless saved them thousands of dollars and countless hours trying to explain why evildoers he's sworn to apprehend always allude his capture and why the dead don't die.

Shelia Carter is Alive, Alive!

January 9, 2006
by Brent Kellogg

I'm upset again. Covering the people and events in Genoa City does that to me. Here they had a chance to redeem the insanity that the Tom Fisher/Sheila Carter debacle turned out to be and yet they blew it. That Sheila died in the bomb shelter cave-in while helping to save Lauren Fenmore would have been the perfect ending. It would have sent the message that for all the hate between Sheila and Lauren Fenmore, for all the fear and toxic necklaces, the attempts at suicide and dumb struck private detectives breaking the law, it is possible for people to change.

If the evil Kevin Fisher can change, if people now love Kevin like their own son and best friend, if the Newmans can forgive Daniel Romalotti and for all the back stabbing the Winters can still claim they are a tight-knit family, why couldn't Sheila have died so that now, when Lauren says Sheila saved her life, people can say, "She really wasn't that bad after all."

With a dead Sheila there would always be the possibility she'd come back to haunt Lauren, so maybe it's only fitting Sheila didn't die. With Sheila dead Lauren would have to keep having her grave exhumed just to be sure the bones are still there.

But how is it that Shelia's alive? Wasn't that clueless detective there at the hole in the farmhouse bomb shelter wall? Didn't, as Paul 'Clueless' Williams pulled Lauren out, he ask who was in the hole with her and Lauren said it was Sheila? Hadn't Clueless been looking for Sheila? Wasn't he hoping to draw her out and couldn't understand why she wasn't returning his calls? Wouldn't a real PI have said, "Hello, Sheila. Now I know why you're not returning my calls. Hang on and I'll get you outta there before the leaking natural gas kills us all."

And what of all those "people" Clueless said he had on the case? Doesn't the name Williams Investigations conjure up this network of Thomas Magnums? So why is Clueless still working out of a broom closet? After awhile, wouldn't word get out that Williams is not exactly Pinkerton? Where was Williams' sidekick during the time Clueless was having a brain fart that lights at night in an empty farmhouse might be where he'd find Lauren? Why was J.T. Hellstrom letting his meat loaf? Why was J.T. making plans to provide security at the Fenmore funeral? More importantly why would security at a funeral be needed at all given that the person J.T. was charged with protecting is dead?

But let's go back to the farmhouse. After the cave-in, with Lauren safe in his arms, wouldn't Clueless have looked into the hole just to be sure there was no sign of Sheila? Did he really sit around on his ass waiting for help to arrive without making any attempt to see if there was a way to save Sheila? Did he really allow Lauren to just take off before police could question her? Isn't the farmhouse a crime scene? If someone doesn't take away Clueless' PI license - and do it soon - won't someone die one of these days? Aren't police worried that crimes will never be solved so long as Clueless is out there contaminating crime scenes by his very presence?

Did Clueless not see Sheila walk away? Did he tell firemen at the scene that Sheila was buried among the rubble? Was it not obvious that the natural gas leak would have killed Sheila if the cave-in hadn't? Did Clueless really say, "Let's hope we're not too late" and then seemed surprised when firemen told him no body had been found?

Knowing the cops are probably after her - if for no other reason than she's an escapee from a California nut house - where did Sheila go? Straight to the Sugar Shack Lauren's son Scotty shares with three other overgrown Genoa City teens. It's truly amazing Sheila knew where to find Scotty given that while she was trapped J.T. had wanted Scotty and butt-buddy Kevin to move out.

Stuck in a shelter for days, seemingly doomed, with no way out, with no chance to pee, no call by nature to have a bowel movement, inhaling natural gas and rodent droppings, when she got the chance, Sheila, without being seen, without having someone say, "God, lady, you look terrible, can I give you a lift?", zoomed right back to the one place she should have avoided like the plague presumably so she can be caught and somebody gets to play the hero for having caught her.

The logical way for Sheila's reign of terror to have ended, the intelligent way to wipe out all the questions concerning how she survived being on the lam so long, would have been for Sheila to die. Why Clueless let her get away, why Sheila didn't get her ass to Brazil when she had the chance knowing she's bound to get caught makes no sense because Sheila must know that in Genoa City, unlike the rich and powerful, she'll never get a trial.

The Power of Redemption

January 6, 2006
by Vikki Johns

Ah, the power of redemption.  The power of understanding and forgiveness. The awesome life-altering power of taking two people, mortal enemies, one of whom has, at one point, stolen the other's husband and child, is guilty of fraud, attempted murder, committed murder, and is an escaped convict, yes, taking them cold and wet and hungry and one can only assume, filthy stinking dirty (where DO these two defecate?), and putting them in the same room. 

They come out best buds. 

Or so it would seem with Lauren Fenmore Baldwin and Sheila Carter. 

So now we have a new Jesus Christ, Yeshua, Messiah and Savior in Genoa City. Born not in a manger, but in some farmhouse basement, and her name is Lauren. Move over Christine Blair. 

One can almost hear strains of Michael Jackson's "Have You Seen My Childhood?" and the ghost of Freud in the background, as Lauren promises Sheila, that indeed, she does want to hear about her lonely and abused childhood.  For whatever it was - in fact, just being left behind when choosing sides for basketball - surely, it will justify all the horrific acts this psycho has perpetrated. 

Bull. 

Put any red-blooded American woman - let a lone a tough professional like Lauren is supposed to be (save those days when the corporate leader worked as a sales clerk at the "Boutique") - and put her in the same room with a tied-up, wounded Sheila Carter and a shovel and the farm would have a "Sold" sign pasted all over it.  Here's the perfect opportunity to revenge the sins of the past, and to do it without remorse or penalty.  This "take the high road" crap is just that.  And unbelievable crap, to boot. 

Maybe that's what we need for Victor Newman and Jack Abbott - a little time spent secluded in a life-jeopardizing situation and you know what?  We'd come out with "New Jab Enterprises" the next day.  Every time they met a new sales goal, they'd be patting each other's asses like NFL players. 

Or how about our world leaders?  Let's take George W. Bush and Osama bin-Laden and put them in the same basement together for a few weeks.  Can you hear it now?  George coming out saying, "Ah, shucks, Osi here had a heck of upbringin.'  Why, ya know, he had 52 brothers and sisters?  I mean, the poor fella hardly had a place at the dinner table.  No wonder he's all wounded and angry.  Let's all let that little thing up in New York, go, you know.  There weren't nothing but Jews killed up there anyways."  Then Osama would grin from ear to ear and place his head on Dubya's shoulder.  After George's impeachment, the two would open up a Tex-Arab restaurant somewhere in the ritzy River Oaks section of Houston. 

We would be asked to believe. 

So what?  Sheila was forced to eat all of her peas?  She had a mean mom?  Her dad put his hands where he wasn't supposed to?  Get over it.  Happens all the time.  But thankfully, the majority of us - and most of us have our share of wounds and hurts and heartaches - don't turn out to be psychopathic criminals/killers.  And if we do, we are usually so sick in the head that redemption means nothing to us.   

Sheila Carter was, at one point in time, a great villain.  Be nice to keep her that way.   Does anybody really care what happened in her childhood?  No, we just care that there's a balance of good and bad in the world.  Instead she will go the way of Michael Baldwin and Kevin Fisher.  Murderers and rapists and pedophiles, that deep down, are really just hurt wounded children who need another chance at life.  Makes you wanna go rob and bank and then tell the police officers that you did it because weren't allowed to watch "Dark Shadows." 

The problem is once we are asked to feel sympathy for Sheila - whether one feels it or not - her ranking as demonic is diminished.  Any explanation for her behavior humanizes her.  When, in truth, there is nothing human about her.   

Too bad Lauren couldn't grasp that.