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See Also: Lauren Baldwin  Gloria Bardwell  Kevin Fisher  Sheila Carter

Best Lawyer Money Can Buy

by Night Watchman
December 17, 2007

"Good morning, Baldwin and Blair, attorneys at law. How may I direct your call?"

"Michael Baldwin, please."
"I'm sorry sir,. Mr. Baldwin is out of the office."
"When do you expect him?"
"I don't, sir. He hasn't been here in months."
"Okay, connect me with Ms. Blair."
"I'm sorry, sir. Ms. Blair hasn't been here in years."
"Let me speak with your next best criminal lawyer then."
"Oh, I'm sorry. We don't handle criminal cases."
"But I saw on the TV..."
"Mr. Baldwin representing Senator Abbott?"
"Yeah! Wasn't that a criminal case?"
"No, sir. It was, well, I don't know what it was, but it wasn't criminal."
"Then, what type of law does your firm practice?"
"Sir, Mr. Baldwin doesn't, as you say, practice. He's a skilled lawyer."
"Next thing you'll be telling me he's the best in Genoa City."
"Isn't that why you called?"
"Lady, I'm kinda in a rush here. I'll talk to anyone."
"I'm sorry, could you hold the line please?"

<Insert seven minutes of the Muzak version of Forever>

"Thank you for holding. How may I direct your call?"
"Hey! You were going to connect me with a lawyer!"
"Sir, you said you'd talk with anyone. Talk to me, but make it fast."
"I need a lawyer!"
"Sir, there are no lawyers here."
"You mean they're all out?"
"I mean Mr. Baldwin and Ms. Blair are the only lawyers we have. That's why I answer the phone Baldwin & Blair."

"I thought you said Ms. Blair doesn't work there."
"No, sir. I said she hasn't been here in years."
"Could you recommend a good lawyer I can call."
"Sir, Mr. Baldwin is a good lawyer."
"But. You said he's not a criminal lawyer and he's not there!"
"Yes, that's right."
"I need a lawyer to represent me in a criminal case!"
"If I may be blunt, I'm afraid you are SOL. There are no criminal defense lawyers in Genoa City."

"But. But. What do people charged with crimes do?"
"They hire Mr. Baldwin."
"But. But."
"I assure you sir, he's as good as they say. I can read you the names of his most satisfied clients. Kevin Fisher, Phyllis Summers, Phyllis Abbott, Phyllis Newman..."

"Aren't those people related to him?"
"What difference does that make? Mr. Baldwin got them off. Amber Moore, and oh, I see he just took the Hawkes case."

"The crazy who tried to kill his brother?"
"Sir, everyone is entitled to the best defense money can buy."
"Jana Hawkes has money?"
"Daniel Romalotti. Jack... Sir? Hello? Hello?"

Michael Baldwin: Hero Of Justice!

September 26, 2007
by Judi Gamin

To say Michael Baldwin is not to be admired and commended for his elusiveness within the law is an understatement. Somehow, he has managed to not only remain and retain his advocacy of Defense for Genoa City, despite all the dastardly deeds he has committed in the past, but become the Hero of Justice to its citizens.

Like a slippery eel, he has slithered his way throughout the city and into and out of Sin City citizens lives', but in the process, left them speechless, and amazed with the strategy he employed, and the swiftness he solved cases.

I remember way back, when he was found guilty for the sexual harassment of Christine "Bug" Williams which got him a prison sentence and disbarred. But Michael being the tenacious, gregarious individual that he is soon wangled himself out of prison and into her life. First, as her lover, then as her fiancé while diligently manipulating her into restoring his license with the Bar Assn. Doesn't matter which event came first; the fact of the matter is, it happened.

And if that weren't enough, he managed to worm himself into being "Bug's" partner in law which soon became Michael Baldwin, Esq., Defense Attorney. Now it seems he is specializing in Criminal Law - all without an office to work from.. But while his underhanded shenanigans not only continue, but continue to escalate, he still manages to balance the scales between justice and criminality in his own life. He still maintains harmony and peace within his married life.

It has been a long slow steady trip for Michael since his "divorce" from the "Bug". Somewhere along the way, he has not only managed to branch out with his practice but become the savior to all men legally.

Somehow along the way, he managed to snag wealthy retail heiress, Lauren Fenmore to become his wife. And somehow he has managed to have a child with this woman despite his busy schedule of defending wayward Genoa City Citizens. But lest us not forget, that it was his affair with Phyllis that sizzled, then fizzled to become a lasting friendship who then introduced him to Lauren. And like Sharon Abbott, Phyllis Newman has also held open house between her legs.

No matter how serious or minuscule the crime, he takes the case and handles it to the best of his ability, not necessarily in the best interests of his client. But even so, no matter how honest or corrupt he is, he always, yes, always, manages to keep them out of jail - until Phyllis. Phyllis's case sticks in his throat like a craw. Perhaps because she was so very much involved with him and his family, he wasn't able to be objective enough to resolve this case in a manner to which Phyllis would serve only probation. But, with Michael, this case has challenged him to play his legal hand to the limit. And he will for sure. He will file his appeal, and he will get her out - hopefully before the "Beast " Newman gets Phyllis to rat on Jack, thereby turning the key to open the cell door.

Countless times has he not only been the sleuth for Victor Newman, but also his front man, and his defender. Shouldn't the "Beast" (not Nick's intervention) come to Michael's aid with no strings attached to open that door to freedom if he has the power? In fact, there isn't a citizen in Genoa City Michael has not either befriended or defended at one time or another.

Like fine wine, he has not only mellowed but aged well. Case in point, his latest case involving the Dorks of Doom.

How he managed to find time to spend on his strategy for defense, prepare his briefs, deal with his wacky screwball of a mother, and still manage to be an upstanding husband and father, not to mention Jana's problems, is beyond all of us at Genoa City. All without one single hint of burnout or a breakdown from stress. Truly, he has earned his title as Hero of Justice! Now all he needs is a red cape!

Tempting the Hand of Fate

February 6, 2007
by Brent Kellogg

Are you waiting for the cops to tell Nick Newman and Michael Baldwin that they, the cops, will handle the capture of Sheila Carter and for the boys to sit tight, as they, the professionals don't want ordinary citizens taking the law into their own hands?

Assuming that by now local law enforcement has turned a federal case that kidnapping is over to the FBI, or at least the Wisconsin Bureau of Investigation, would Baldwin and Newman not heed such instructions from the Feds if for no other reason than that each time they've taken things upon themselves they've made a mess more stinky than the ones babies Newman and Baldwin have made in their diapers?

You might think so were it not for the fact that Newman and Baldwin don't consider themselves ordinary. Newman gets this from his father, the great Victor Newman. Within minutes of the kidnapping, Victor was bitching; the search for Carter wasn't moving fast enough. On the phone barking inexplicable orders, it was theorized he might be ordering a fleet of Newman helicopters into the air as he'd done during the African search for Malfunction Winters years ago. As a favor to his daughter, money was no object. A small army searched high and low for Winters without success.

On November 29, 2004, Winters wandered into Genoa City under his own power to announce that for three years he'd been drifting around Africa, selling coconuts and bananas to the tourists, and thinking about opening his very own bandana head shop. Saving every dime for the return passage to America, Winters couldn't afford a long-distance phone call home. He knew nothing of New Age communication devices, or email, or letters, or how to write if he could have borrowed a pen and paper and a postage stamp. He had no apparent interest in informing his sick with worry family that he was still alive including a small kid named Nate who had held out hope that his "dad" was alive.

Even when Winters finally got around to remembering Nate Hastings and former wife Olivia, he didn't bother calling them in London where they'd moved since Olivia had given up on making a love connection and finding a role model for her son. Said to have been informed of Malfunction's miraculous return, Olivia couldn't have cared less. She, nor Nate, made any effort to come home.

It's important to recall the expense spent on finding Winters because once again the focus is on family. Without actually hearing them wail, we know Nick and Michael will fuss and sputter about the importance of saving their families. They will take it upon themselves to find their precious babies and Victor will hack that he'll do whatever it takes as he swears no expense will be spared. As they've always done, when the families have been reunited, they will pat themselves on the back and say how great they are and that they won't ever let anything like what has happened to them happen again.

Only it will, and they will, and we're already seeing it will because they never learn. Take what happened today.

Lauren Baldwin was bawling again about possibly losing her baby for good. Quite a different story now, isn't it? Seems like only yesterday Lauren was gloating; telling Sheila to go die. If Lauren had listened to the boobs - her husband and the clueless PI - Sheila wouldn't right now be holding her baby hostage.

Michael Baldwin was whimpering again too. If he'd called the cops in the first place Sheila wouldn't, well, you know. But don't worry. Michael is sure Fen-Fen will come back to them. God forbid that stupidity should come with a price and these nitwits should live out their remaining days without Fen-Fen as a constant reminder never to tempt the hand of fate.

For a more detailed report, hold your nose and go here as we dive into the swill.

Dirty Lawyer Worries About License

January 9, 2007
by Brent Kellogg

It would take the legs of a centipede on which to count all the times Michael Baldwin has said how worried he is that he might lose his license to practice law. And by his actions it's obvious Baldwin has yet to learn how the law works. Adding to the total, Baldwin told Paul 'Clueless' Williams this week that should word get out that he's participating in a kidnapping he could lose his license.

So why does Baldwin keep breaking the law if he's so concerned? You know why. He's got to protect his precious family or his sorry ass. Committing crimes is the only way he knows.

Not sure that seeing Sheila Carter in a cage as he did and having spoke with her, Baldwin said he returned to the abandoned mine shaft on Tuesday to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. Grumpy, Williams was there too and hearing Baldwin whine about his license, Williams said it's Baldwin's fault for having followed him and stumbling upon a woman being held against her will. Perhaps it was a reading of the tarot cards that made Baldwin say that if he could find the hideout, others could too, although the others probably won't have to bug Williams's ride or follow him from the Little Shop of Horrors to do so.

Baldwin's worry was short lived. Returning to town he dropped by the Jitter Joint where the real Phyllis Newman, not to be confused with her Sheila look-alike, just happened to be waiting. She told of having visited earlier with Baldwin's wife and having again cancelled a doctor's appointment as if it mattered as appointments in Genoa City aren't really necessary.

Concerned that his wife hasn't much interest in getting out of the condom they live in, Baldwin said it's because Lauren Baldwin is a new mother and as such dismissed Newman's prognosis that the little woman is suffering from postpartum depression. Still, he agreed Lauren needs help and thus returned to the condom to tell her of their intent to save her and that they had told her doctor. Propping Lauren up, the do-gooders moved her closer to the door when she began hyperventilating and broke down. Nevertheless, Lauren snapped out of it, was taken to see her doctor where she was told that she's having panic attacks and to take medication to correct the problem. Worried that her near lifeless baby will stop sucking her nipples as a result of the medication, and that there is nothing to fear but fear itself, Lauren thanked Phyllis for being there for her.

Meanwhile, back at the mine shaft, Williams was playing the happy to be of service landlord agreeing to obtain reading material for his victim and when She/Phyllis broke a lamp that came with her furnished cage, rushed out and got her a new one even though while he was cleaning up the mess she kicked him in the head.

Like it has been said many times, and as we've now seen, Williams could get kicked in the head over and over and he still wouldn't learn. Yet this is the bumbling fool the elite first turn to when they need someone investigated.

Justifiable Homicide

January 2, 2007
by Brent Kellogg

Just when you may have been thinking it's about time Michael Baldwin pulled his head out of his ass and got around to asking Will Bardwell why his client is under arrest for Carmen Mesta's murder when so many other suspects seem more likely to have killed her and yet they aren't under arrest, Baldwin asked just that question today.

And then he went and did something beyond credibility. Baldwin and his gangster-like brother, Kevin Fisher, bugged Paul William's pumpkin. I mean, his chariot or whatever it is Williams drives.

Good God!

It's one thing had Baldwin, a member of the Bar, had a sleazy friend he could pay to arrange that, but to ask his flunky brother to help commit what could be considered an invasion of privacy knowing Kevin's criminal past, is, for lack of a better word, insane.

It's almost as insane as Bardwell telling Jack Abbott today that while his DNA was found on Mesta's earring he doesn't intend to arrest Abbott and in fact thanked him for cooperating with the investigation!

All Abbott had to say was that he recalled Meata having worn the earrings, one found on her dead body, a lot and that he had no idea why his DNA was found on the one found weeks later in a parking garage. Abbott added that he had nothing to do with the murder and Bardwell thanked him for being so nice?

Didn't prime suspect Devon Hamilton have a similar excuse? Why is the black man arrested and the white man not? Could it be Bardwell is a racist? It's looking that way more each day especially since Bardwell reiterated that Hamilton remains his prime suspect.

And what was Abbott's lame statement, that Mesta's reputation has been tarnished since her death, have to do with anything? If it has, why should Mesta care? She's dead!

While Baldwin done good by pointing out the obvious flaw in this case, he remains a mere ambulance chaser in that he put his own interests first when he should have long ago gone straight to a judge to demand changed against his client be dismissed. Adding insult to injury, and if the Winters family had a brain between them they'd drop Baldwin like a bad habit, Baldwin told Bardwell that when it comes out that Hamilton didn't kill Mesta, he, Bardwell, will feel bad.

Here's a newsflash and another example of why Baldwin should never been given a license to practice law. District attorneys, or whatever the hell Bardwell claims to be, don't give a crap. It's no sweat off Bardwell's ass if Hamilton and his family have been agonizing and spending money to defend themselves for something they didn't do.

Consequently, Baldwin's intentions, that he's trying to nail Williams, are good, but shouldn't that be left up to the cops? Why is it in this city that everyone but the police are the ones actually working to solve crimes?

To that end, crazy Lauren Baldwin, her baby bawling it's head off and she with it, has taken it upon herself to pump Williams for information pertaining to what he knows - about something. She and hubby aren't sure, just that they thought it strange that Williams would take himself off the Hamilton investigation. Did it ever occur to the Baldwin's that maybe Williams has a conflict of interest and said as much when he removed himself?

And again, if Baldwin has suspicions, it's not his job, or his brother's, to spy on Williams. What happened to all that worry Baldwin had about losing his license for unethical behavior? Why not hire a real PI to get the goods on Williams? Oh, that's right. There are only two PIs in Genoa City.

In all my frustration, I must have missed the point of not only Fisher bugging Williams vehicle, but Baldwin having to put a bug on Paul's ride too. Wasn't one enough? Is this bugging supposed to impress people like something from an episode of the A-Team?

But getting back to the bawling Lauren. Her ability to bounce in and out of depression makes you almost want to see Sheila Carter kill the bitch. Lauren's history - of porking Williams and Brad Carlton when she was married to, and estranged from, and couldn't make up her mind as to which man she wanted - alone is enough to justify her death.

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