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2007
News Archives - Neil Winters
See also: Lily
Winters Dru Winters
Olivia Winters Karen
Taylor
My
Favorite Things
by Brent Kellogg
November 12, 2007
A Midterms Winters Dream
October
9,
2007
by Brent Kellogg
At most
college universities, mid-term exams don't start until the first
week of November. But for students in Genoa City attending GCU,
mid-terms start in early October and already Genoa City University
sophomore Lily Winters has taken her mid-term and it was reported
today scored a 98!
For a student who didn't spend more than a day in class when she was
a freshman, for Ms. Winters to have scored so high is quite an
accomplishment considering she didn't study for her mid-term. Days
prior to whenever the test was given, Winters whiled away the hours
planning a divorce party to celebrate the dissolvement of her
marriage to classmate Daniel Romalotti, who by the way has yet to
mention his test scores, nor likewise has Lily's best and only
friend, Colleen Carlton. In addition to the party, Lily spent her
days pumping iron at the local exclusive gym and making goo-goo eyes
at dream boat Cane Ashby, a man much older than she.
While the news that mid-terms have already been held at GCU is
noteworthy, the really big story is that it has always been a
"family tradition" at the Winters home that whenever the children
get good reports cards "Ice Cream Night" is held to commemorate the
event. Tradition has it too that during these nights together, only
family members are allowed to partake and this year the Winters
children, Devon Hamilton included, were shocked to learn that their
father had invited a special guest.
That an outsider would watch them make fools of themselves wasn't
quite so much a problem for Devon, however, although he was upset
that whoever the mystery guest was this night would preclude him
from taking off his shoes and socks and stinking up the place. It
was only when Lily saw who the guest was that she and Lily turned
their noses up.
Walking through the door of their wooden box was daddy's lady
friend, Karen Taylor!
Making the situation worse, Karen was wearing their dead mommy's
hat, and acting like the two-year olds they are, Lily and Devon put
on an air of arrogance. Unsure as to why she was getting the cold
shoulder, Karen turned to Neil who explained that his dead wife, Dru
Winters had once been a hat collector and that the hat Karen was
wearing bore a disenchanting resemblance to one of his wife's many
hats that he had recently donated to a thrift store.
More a coincidence than anything, Karen said she'd recently
purchased the hat from the very same thrift shop, and had she known
it was Dru's would never have worn it inside the dead woman's home
given the bad vibes cast forth from the demons. Assuring Karen that
Dru wouldn't mind, and was probably at that moment "up there
laughing her head off", Neil nevertheless had to convince Karen to
stay for the party.
Gathering his children's together for a game of Old Maid, when Karen
spilled some ice cream the party was clearly ruined. With the demon
seeds continuing to hurl silent hate balls, Karen's hugging Neil
before leaving, and giving the hat to Lily along with an apology,
only fanned the flames of hate.
His lady
gone, and no chance in hell he'd break a long streak of sexless
nights, Neil scolded the kids. He accused them of acting like "six
year olds", said they were rude, and more importantly had
embarrassed him to the point where he said that if the situation
ever repeated itself, if he was at their home and they'd done that,
he'd walked out and never come back.
Not that Lily and Devon will ever own their own homes, Neil's
tantrum and subsequent telling them to "hit the street" as he threw
them out, was disingenuous. If he hadn't lied about the "family
tradition", if he hadn't invited a stranger to participate in what
the kids expected was a family only treat, the little demons might
not have had a reason to wield their pitchforks. Besides that,
Neil's a flake; he always comes back for more.
New Rules at Devil's Workshop
October
4,
2007
by Brent Kellogg
It's
like some sort of drug, something warm and fuzzy they inject into
the water or lather like butter all over the raw oysters because, oh
my sweet Lord there's nothing like a weekly family gathering at Neil
Winters' wooden box. Like me, you may have missed the last three
such gatherings because since the death of Neil's wife, there hasn't
been any. Daughter Lily Winters and been too busy kicking her porn
addicted husband out of her life and the freebie college crash pad
she shares with foster brother Devon Hamilton.
Likewise, Devon has been too busy climbing the social ladder,
impressing Brazilians with his ability to solve corporate business
problems and attending his faux sister's divorce party which could
have counted as a family gathering, but we doubt that it did because
there was no honoring of the Lord the night Lily acted like a pagan
with her getting three sheets to the wind on a sip of cranberry
juice spiked with the Devil's brew.
It can't be known for sure, but God couldn't possibly approve of
Lily's sucking around an older man and her obvious willingness to
bend over and let Cane Ashby have his way with her. He would be
offended by Lily's persistent calling one and only friend Colleen
Carlton every five minutes seeking tips on how to seduce a man
already admired by other pagan harlots easily impressed by Cane's
bulging biceps and unpatriotic characterization of Americans as
people who "live to work" compared to Aussie's like himself who
"work to live."
It's unlikely too that God would have approved of Neil inviting Cane
to join the family at one of these gatherings when Neil knows of
Lily's propensity for having sex with older men and catching STDs
from sexual predators. Nevertheless, with Neil dragging his new
woman by the hair to share in the festivity at the home where the
memory of his dead wife practically drips from the ceiling, what was
God to do? Tell Cane not to slay Able? Have Cane break it gently to
Lily that he might be sexually interested in her if only he was
younger? Have Karen Taylor say she likes seeing the Mr. Mom side of
Neil; a side she's never seen before, and that it's wonderful to
know Neil is more "human" than gorilla?
As if to prove how immature she is, and that she was correct on
Wednesday to say she's a dumb ass, when asked to lead the group by
saying grace Lily let loose with a blasphemous version of, "Good
food, good meat, thank God let's eat," that made even Neil ashamed.
But hypocritical Godmonger that he is, Neil's request that they
"pray for those no longer with us" went over like a lead balloon.
Pray
tell, what good would praying for the dead do? Bring Dru Winters
back from the grave? Bring Nate Hastings into the family long enough
to ask why cousin Lily never thinks of him, or why Neil hasn't asked
about Nate since Aunt Olivia took the boy away from Genoa City years
ago? Was Neil speaking of his own parents who could be dead for all
anyone knows? God knows Lily has never wondered why she doesn't have
grandparents from either side of the family like most kids. Was Neil
praying his half-wit brother might come home to rein in his daughter
who Lily really is and smack her a few times for already having a
divorce to her credit at the tender age of 19?
How nice too was it for godless Neil to instill in his godless
children a "new rule" when Devon's phone rang? No phones at the
dinner table, kids!
"But daddy, what if God calls with a message from mommy Dru?" you
might have halfway expected Devon and Lily to say given the
misinterpreted Biblical dogma Neil was shoveling down their throats
without mentioning the insidious laws his state senator could very
well have been having the governor sign limiting behaviors and
restricting independent thought and repressing sexuality if only
Jack Abbott hadn't been having sex with the town whore at the time.
But then again, the cheerful upside is hard to resist. Neil makes
the Devil himself smile every time he opens his mouth. From his
alcohol-damaged liver to his truly spectacular list of scandals and
moral collapses and "family values", Neil's hand-holding, seal of
God on it, dinner partay today was nothing short of sacrilegious.
Morals
God Shows Sinners the Way
July 17,
2007
by Brent Kellogg
As much
as Daniel Romalotti is a criminal, a porn addict, a liar and a
girlie boy, you couldn't help but feel sorry for him today when his
low-down in the gutter, alcoholic father-in-law said that if he
comes clean, he'll be granted forgiveness.
Who died and made Neil Winters the morals god?
What nerve of this ass to tell his daughter she should consider
divorcing Daniel? What message does it send? Do as I say, not as I
do? It would behoove Neil to look into his own past before offering
marital advice to anyone. Sure, Daniel is queer in more ways than
one, he married a seventeen year old girl after going on two runs
from the law with her even though he knew she'd put out for is
so-called best friend, but God almighty, someone who slutted around
with Carmen Mesta right after Dru Winters had taken his sorry ass
back shouldn't be encouraging anyone to give up on their marriage.
Given what a simple-minded twit Lily Winters Romalotti is, she's
lucky to have Daniel. She knows what a slug he is, kicked him out of
the house and there she was a few days ago taking him back only to
have doubts about him again not because he hasn't changed, but
because her foster brother found out before she did that Daniel got
arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover cop inside a strip
club.
Speaking of Devon Hamilton, this tree fruit needs his ass kicked for
threatening to tell Lily about Daniel's lies if Daniel didn't. Devon
is no choir boy. He's got a rap sheet longer than Lily and Daniel
put together. If it hadn't been for Daniel's friendship Devon might
be the one married to Lily since he once admitted to having the hots
for her; a disgusting fantasy Neil condoned. For Devon to lecture
Daniel today on morals was deserving of a good kick in the ass.
Unfortunately Daniel didn't have the balls to do it and was himself
pushed around like a sissy, then punched in the gut as Devon said he
should have whipped him long ago. Sadly, Daniel appeared to enjoy it
as if reminded of something he'd seen at an online porn site.
And who
is Neil to tell Nick Newman he's a married man and thus should stay
away from his former wife? Where was Neil when Nick started cheating
on his wife? Why didn't Neil give Nick the lecture then? Not that it
would have done any good, with apologies to real dogs everywhere,
Nick's a dog and always will be as evidenced today when he obtained
Jack Abbott's work schedule and planned
another benefit in memory of his dead adopted daughter on the
days when Jack will be out of town so that Sharon Abbott will be at
the event alone. Not that Jack could give a rat's ass when "Cassie's
Challenge" takes place, his former wife said today that Jack would
love to be involved though Phyllis Newman did not ask Nick to change
his plans when he told her the dates selected were the only ones
available. Like it matters when Cassie's Challenge takes place? It
couldn't be held on Halloween, or Cassie's favorite time of the
year? What's the friggin' rush?
The State
of Denial
April 25, 2007
by Brent Kellogg
Oh my freaking
God, Neil Winters' return to the bottle was "temporary." He got a little
stressed out, had a few drinks, and as an always recovering alcoholic it's
no big deal. Like any addict in denial, he can stop when he wants. When
things get better, and he's put out of his mind that his wife is dead,
Winters will find another woman and life will go on like it always does.
He may skip the part where men like Wilma Bardwell and Arthur Hendricks,
out of respect for their dearly departed, say they haven't been near a
woman in years and how utterly heartbreaking it was to find that once
they'd found that special gal she was caught getting hot and heavy with
another man.
The social message to other alcoholics is that if Winters can stop and
start drinking, they can too. Death got you down? Have a few drinks! Spent
thousands on rehab did you? Told by medical experts that alcohol is one of
the most addictive drugs known to man and that boozehounds like yourself
cannot so much as take a sip of booze once you've stopped because your
liver and kidneys cannot tolerate the stuff and your sorry ass will end up
back in rehab if you don't die first?
Screw that! You can handle a few drinks. The bottle is your friend. Take
it to parties; take it to the jazz club you own where booze is sold and
where you rub elbows with other boozers. Love the gorgeous ritual of the
thing, the oral fixation and the rush it gives when mixed with coffee.
Take up smoking while you're at it. Nothing goes together like cigs n'
coffee.
Savor the tightness of your chest and shortness of breath and the
wheezing, the bitter aftertaste and the phlegm and the constant cravings
and the expense and the whole poison-for-the-flesh thing. Do not fear a
return of the DTs when you've put aside your "temporary" habit of getting
drunk as a skunk. Winters can do it, you can too. Should you have
children, they'll draw "comic books" of you as the avenging superhero
kicking serious addictive ass.
How quickly Winters forgets. How easy it is to overlook that for millions
of others, booze is still a plague. It's raging and cancerous and
unstoppable. It makes billions for the evil distillers, but Winters can
turn it on and off at will without actually having to truly understand or
change a thing about his meaningless life. Isn't that just the cutest
thing ever?
And look, there's the wallowing in self-pity Winters confronting his
son-in-law's addiction to porn. Daniel Romalotti is a naughty boy for
looking at porn and running up the MasterCard when he should be thanking
God to have a Winters for a wife. Bitchy and demanding, and cracking the
whip everywhere but in the bedroom, Lily Winters Romalotti is to sex as
blowup doll is to J.T. Hellstrom. What's wrong with you, boy? Why haven't
you knocked my daughter up yet? Something about her face? Put a friggin'
bag over it! Don't go girlie on me. Do your manly duty and make me some
grandkids. Why should Noah Newman be the only one getting into fights at
school over something the bullies are saying about his mother; that bitch
Sharon Newman, who killed your mother-in-law? Don't you want to be like
me? If you've got to be addicted to something, take up swill. Crawl into
the bottle when life does you wrong. See? I'm in the bottle, I'm out. Lily
is bawling her beady black eyes out that she's going to lose me and maybe
you too. Don't you want to go through that mess every month like Lily goes
through periods?
But hell, who cares? Why examine causes? Why pretend to care about social
issues when we personify all that is bad about them? Why waste time
spewing how evil drinking is when we turn right around and say it's okay
for recovering drunks to drink so long as it's temporary? Why try to
figure out the reasons behind our toxic tendencies and our weird
obsessions with things we know are killing us? Ain't that what Genoa City
is all about? Isn't it in a constant state of denial?
Driving Us to Drink
April 9,
2007
by Brent Kellogg
Oh
please, not another shrine. Isn't the one for Cassie Newman at the
Jitter Joint enough? Moreover, what is the point of placing flowers
and teddy bears and assorted crap at the scene where three woman
went off a cliff, two of them surviving? How long until the flowers
die and become so much unwanted trash? How long before gawkers steal
the teddy bears? Will Neil Winters have a plaque engraved and placed
there? Will it read 'In memory of my loving wife who died so that
others may live."? Will the Mayor of Genoa City proclaim April 4 as
Dru Winters Day? Will she be deemed a "hero"?
How nice it must be having money to burn on expensive flowers? How
sweet of Neil to place a pocketful of posies at the scene despite
his knowing for sure Dru is dead. How ghoulish of him to think back
to when he fell in love with her conveniently forgetting how she
walked out on him with the baby sired by his half-wit brother?
Where exactly did Dru's little girl, son-in-law and adopted son come
up with the money to purchase flowers too? Aren't Lily and Daniel
Romalotti always whining about being broke? Aren't they so strapped
that Devon Hamilton must live with them and share the rent? If Devon
had saved the money he chipped in for flowers, wouldn't he have
enough to one day pay for a place of his own?
And if Neil is hoping against hope that Dru is alive, if he's
telling the little children to keep the faith, why not find out for
sure so they can avoid the agony? Why can't he hire Psychotic Sylvia
like Katherine Sterling did? Why isn't Katherine offering Sylvia's
services for free? You see? That's the problem of bringing in a
psychotic for one situation, but not another. That's the
inconsistently we keep harping on, of John 'Yawn' Abbott's ability
to return from the grave to advise his son; of Cassie's decent from
Heaven to chat with Nick Newman; of the constant assurance that
Cassie is overhead, flying the friendly skies protecting the Newmans
below. And yet when these dead people are needed most, they're never
around.
Will the notification that Dru is officially dead drag on until May?
Was Lily's calling Olivia Winters an indication that the evil sister
will need a couple of weeks to squint and bawl her eyes out and have
flashbacks of happier times, blocking out those in which sister Dru
tried to steal her man? Maybe not. We hear the memorial service will
be held on Friday! We don't hear that Lily will call any other
family member as bitched about in previous GCN articles. For as sad
as death is, the freakish residents of Genoa City always manage to
make a joke out of it.
Wouldn't you have loved a peek at Lily's address book? Imagine her
crooked finger running down the list. PainMe Johnson, no.
Malfunction Winters, no. Grandparents Lillie Belle and Walter
Barber, no. Olivia Winters, yes!
Let us wait then for Olivia to explain why Nate Hastings, how old
must he be now, eight? couldn't come to his Auntie Dru's funeral.
Too busy driving ocean liners? Tug boats? That was always Nate's
aspiration; to be the captain of a ship. Let us wait too to see if
Brad Carlton appears at the funeral. Told by his wife that it wasn't
his place to go the scene of Dru's "accident", who wants to bet Brad
will be there along with Victoria Carlton? What are the odds Brad
will forget that day he crawled in bed with Olivia while he was
still married to Ashley Abbott?
And what about Ashley? She and Olivia are sorority sisters. She
forgave Olivia for sleeping with Brad. Wouldn't "being there" for
Olivia be most appropriate during this somber time? In the event
Ashley does make an appearance, can Abby Carlton be far behind? Or
will Abby need to be protected from the truth? Will exposing Abby to
another tragedy be cause for the child to require "professional
help"?
Meanwhile, Daniel wants to send email to those in need of knowing of
the crisis. Imagine that message? You are cordially invited to
attend the death of my wife's Aunt, Dru. Lily was too distraught to
write so I took it upon myself since you all have email addresses
and I've never sent anything electronically to you before, or even
met you for that matter. Please RSVP.
Without getting into why Brad told Phyllis Newman today that she
should be charged with murder in the event Dru dies when Brad has
killed at least three people lately, and it's always a hoot hearing
criminals whine about breaking the law when they wrote the book on
crime breaking, how outrageous was it for Phyllis to visit her
victim today at the God Have Mercy Medical Center? How pathetic was
it listening to Sharon thank Phyllis for trying to save her life,
and for Phyllis to say she's going to forget about the blackmail?
"Here, Sweetie, smell the flowers I stole from the room next door.
Can we be friends? Can you forget that I blackmailed you, made your
life miserable and you almost fell to your death?" Phyllis said in
so many words.
And how about pathetic Neil going to the hospital too to tell Sharon
not to blame herself for what happened to Dru? Is this an automatic
assumption? Is it well known that anyone even remotely connected
with the victim will blame themselves as just about everyone who
knew Dru has done so far? What in God's name was Sharon thinking
when she told Neil he had a "right" to know of her affair? Why does
Neil need to know this? How does it impact him? Why can't he wait
for the information to come out at the trial like everyone else?
Because there won't be a trial? Because D.A. Wilma Bardwell can read
tea leaves and knows beforehand what juries think?
Or was this the catalyst for Neil's return to the bottle?
What? You haven't heard? Yup, alcoholic Neil will start drinking
again. He's been told by Sharon of the affair she had with Brad, how
Phyllis was blackmailing them, how Dru was trying to protect Sharon
and this is cause for Neil to crawl into a bottle? Who will save him
this time? Will he go back to the Olive Pit bar? Does bar babe
Serena Slattern still work there? Will he have sex with Olivia?
Hasn't Olivia always wanted him? Will his college student children
take another semester off to help him and later say they got all
A's? What will it take to change Neil's mind that Phyllis "is dead"
to him now? When after a few weeks she baby-sits his children?
Forget about Neil, aren't these unbelievable circumstances enough to
drive you to drink?
Empty
Suit to Sit in Empty Seat
March 22, 2007
by Brent Kellogg
As I began
writing this report it hadn't happened, but it was going to because the who's gonna be sitting on
the Newman Enterprises Board of Directors question, when such boards in most
companies are supposed to be like congressional oversight committees - in
that the fox is not supposed to guard the henhouse - needed to be
answered so that executives there can get on with their illusion that NE is a real
company. Thus it was projected that the winner between smackdown
contenders Neil Winters and Nikki Newman would be Winters.
As Mr. Gumby gets what he wants, as he didn't have to lift a finger or
waste a moment of precious time posting Vote-4-Me flyers at the local Jitter
Jitter, or his own jazz club at which he's rarely seen, old cow Nikki gets
another scolding from her husband.
Victor Newman warned her; he told Moo Moo not to mess with his plan to
take Jack Abbott down even though Nikki thought she was a viable part of
that plan, and together they drooled that Abbott's downfall couldn't come
soon enough. There were those few weeks when Victor was dealing with
epilepsy and thought to be losing his mind, that Nikki stood by him. She
stood like a heifer in heat as the bull put it to her selling the company
she created and which, in about a year, became a world-wide success.
Then Nikki got it into her head that she should sit on the NE board. She
had no experience or expertise needed to sit on the board of a corporate
giant such that NE is said to be, but that didn't matter. In Genoa City
business anyone can compete for a board seat. In some cases they don't
have to compete at all; they can be appointed by other board members most
of whom are interrelated.
Jabot
Cosmetics is that way too. It was August 2001 when Jabot board member
Ashley Abbott voted to retain Brad Carlton as an executive with the firm
following Carlton and Mrs. Newman having put up $35 million each to save
Jabot. In exchange, both Newman and Carlton were given jobs and seats on
the board.
But Victor wanted Brad out. He claimed the former pool boy/hedge clipper
had violated terms of a non-compete clause in that Brad had previously
worked for NE. Corporate lawyer Michael Baldwin advised the board that it
should not worry as Brad had never been in direct competition with NE
since moving back to Jabot.
Jabot COO Jack Abbott saw it differently. "A case can be made because
Carlton is in close contact with Jabot board members. Since the members
knew about the non-compete clause before Carlton invested money in the
company a judge might rule that Jabot was negligent," Abbott said.
As the decision came down, Jack and Jill Abbott voted to give Carlton the
boot. Nikki Newman and Ashley wanted to keep him. The vote was tied until
Jabot founder John 'Yawn' Abbott voted in Brad's favor. By September the
lawsuit was a moot point when Victor dropped it as a favor to Ashley who
had agreed to marry Brad because she was carrying a baby thought to be
Brad's.
It's always been difficult to tell who sits on which board because, like
who they are married to at any given point in history, the same people
jump back and forth from Jabot to Newman and vice-versa like fleas on cat.
The point, if one can be made, is that half these so-called business
executives have no business being on their respective board of directors
at all.
For a few laughs, look at this item from 2000.
To keep their agreement with new employee Brad Carlton, Jabot Cosmetics
executives Ashley and John Abbott have agreed to add yet another seat to
the growing Jabot board of directors. The seat was deemed necessary to
assure the balance of Jabot power remains in control of the Abbott family
and will go to teenager, Billy Abbott.
"I'm just a kid! What do I know about business," young Abbott exclaimed
when the idea was presented to him, but quickly accepted the board seat to
appease his father and sister.
"There is no law in Wisconsin preventing a minor from holding a corporate
board seat," Ashley Abbott stated and immediately announced the position
will be illusionary as young Abbott signed over his proxy to John Abbott.
As for the Newman board, who can forget when in 1999 Nick Newman was
worried that his daddy was going to kick him off the board? Another
nepotistic appointee, a seat on the board had been bestowed on Nick
without a vote by other members at all.
Pacing the floor of his recently purchased coffee shop, Nick shook his
head and scratched his chin as he thought aloud about the ultimatum his
father had given him: Sell the joint, or he would.
"My dad has ordered me to sell this place! How can I do that? This little
coffee shop has great meaning to my wife and I. We were engaged here! Now
my dad expects us to give it up just like that? He has no idea how much
work Sharon put into this project. Single handedly she's turned the place
into a coffee shop by day, club for all ages by night. The place is
turning a profit! All the college kids and business executives come here
for their expensive lattes. I tell you, if it's not one thing it's
another. Daddy's going to kick me off the Newman Enterprises board of
directors too," a frustrated Nick said in so many words.
It wasn't until June, 2000, that Nick finally quit working for his daddy
and the Jitter Joint never closed. The business was needed to sustain a
struggling Nick and Sharon while Nick fought with the justice system until
in May, 2001, he was found innocent of manslaughter in the deaths of Matt
Clark and Jordan Senters. Nick eventually went back to working for daddy
and so did Sharon before she quit to work at Jabot, then it was back to
NE, and from there to NVP and to this day it's not known for sure where
she works.
So, that Neil Winters is the newest board member is not news. Given the
history, it won't last long and again the question must be asked why there
had to be a vote at all since Victor could have simply appointed him. |
|
