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2007
News Archives - Sheila Carter
See Also: Michael
Baldwin Paul Williams
An Open
Letter to God
by
Judi Gamin
December 5, 2007
All's
Well That Ends Well
February 9, 2007
by Brent Kellogg
How does that
limerick go? Enee Meanee Minee Mo, catch a kidnapper by the toe? How about
"Shoot first, ask questions later?"
That's what Lauren Baldwin did today as her husband and a clueless PI
listened in on a RadioShack walkie-talkie. Unable to discern which of two
woman looking like Phyllis Newman was the real Phyllis Newman, Lauren
rolled the dice and pulled the trigger on the gun for which she had no
license. With the smell of gunpowder still in the air, Lauren was
confused. Did she kill the real Phyllis, or the fake Phyllis?
As luck would have it, and ain't this criminal bitch so lucky to hold the
title of being the one woman in Genoa City to have survived so many
kidnappings, Lauren did in fact kill Sheila Carter.
Rushing to the scene once they'd been told where to go, Michael Baldwin
hugged his loved ones while Paul 'Clueless' Williams checked to be sure
Carter was dead. The Baldwin's, so freaked for so long, so aware that
Williams allowed Carter to escape during their last run-in with her, so
aware that he didn't call the cops when he first latched onto Carter and
if he had the nightmare wouldn't have repeated itself, did not think to
double-check. Lauren, dumber than the dirt in Sharon Newman's head, did in
fact thank Williams for all he had done. What on earth would they have
done without him. How could Lauren have been deemed a "hero" if Williams
hadn't given her the weapon with which to kill Carter?
Always arriving after the fact, the police and the District Attorney
appeared. Subsequent to a review of the scene, Will Bardwell proclaimed
there will be no charges filed against Lauren. There was no question at
all as to where the gun she used came from. Run along now, my beauties.
You done good. You broke a million laws along the way, but we'll forget
all about that.
Run along Clueless. Do not go to jail for your crimes. Do not so much
explain to Bardwell or the cops how it came to be that Carter was loose.
They were not interested; they did not ask. Pass Go, collect your fee, oh
clueless one. Go directly to the God Have Mercy Medical Center where
Maggie Sullivan continues recovering from her bullet wound, while you
Clueless, so thick headed, required little treatment after being whacked
in the head with a blunt object. You go, Clueless. Tell Sullivan that
Carter is dead. Ask her to cover for your sorry ass by lying about what
happened. You know she will. You know all it takes is for you to say the
Baldwin's have suffered enough, and thus their crimes should be forgiven.
And my but what good news travels fast. At the Jitter Joint, her car in
disrepair again, the plague of forgetfulness eating away at her like toxic
Oreos stuck in a colon such that she had left a scarf at the Indigo jazz
club and could the bartender there please deliver it to her, Amber Moore
heard two patrons talking about Sheila Carter. The Sheila Carter? The one
in the news? That Sheila? Gosh, Amber
didn't know that Sheila had kidnapped two babies and a lady. She did know
that five years ago a Sheila Carter kidnapped her. Was it the same Sheila?
Must be. Only one thing to do then; send Phyllis Newman's son a text
message on his phone! Don't leave voicemail. It's free. Cingular, now
AT&T, doesn't charge extra for voice mail. It does charge $.25 per text
message so please, always send by text. Besides, it has a much more
personal touch.
Meanwhile, back at the Shady Pines retirement home, the scene of the
crime, Nick and Victor Newman have arrived. All hail the great man for
whom, if it hadn't been for his ability to recognize the home from a
photograph Sheila had been so kind as to send him, the victims might be
dead and not Sheila. Better check though. With Sheila one never knows for
sure and God knows the Baldwin's didn't. And so it came to pass that
another check showed indeed Sheila is dead, but alas, no medical examiner
was available to make it official.
So often with these farcical adventures there's always a side note to make
the casual observer cringe and skin crawl. Taking time out from their own
crisis, Brad and Victoria Carlton arrived to say how sorry they were for
not coming sooner as if their presence there was needed or would have made
the slightest difference. But here's the kicker.
Noah Newman, so hysterical he required a Valium drip injected directly
into his eye balls, said it was okay that the Carlton's has missed the
action because - wait for it - he missed most of the action too!
Now, if only we could say the same thing we might too be able to say,
all's well that ends well.
Wrong
Place, Wrong Time
February 8, 2007
by Brent Kellogg
Do we
understand this? Is it something mind numbing only Sharon Newman could
say?
After informing Jack Abbott that she'd researched Sheila Carter's past,
that she's been listening to the latest news, the bitch in a pinch said
today she can't imagine why Sheila would want to kidnap Phyllis and Summer
Newman too! Can Sharon not read? Can she not comprehend the meaning of
Sheila's disguise? What is wrong with this, un, woman; this thing?
And Abbott's response? They, Phyllis and Summer, "were in the wrong place
at the wrong time".
If that wasn't enough to gag a maggot, that Sharon fully expected that her
son wouldn't immediately hop on the Internet and learn of the kidnapping,
was. But even if it wasn't, that Noah Newman would say that he wanted Jack
to help build his model airplane was too stupid even for an overprotected
boy like Noah is. Most kids Noah's age don't want an adult tinkering with
their toys. Unfortunately for Noah, Sharon, who had no qualms about
pulling him out of school, and how could Noah possibly know what the
homework assignment was, wanted him to do his homework and not watch TV or
go on the Internet.
So what's an anal woman like Sharon to do? She sent Noah off alone to his
room where he immediately jumped on the Internet and lo, Noah went
straight to the New York Times and read the news, oh boy, about the
kidnapping.
The news was shocking. Noah went into hysterics. He had to be calmed down
by an equally freaked out Sharon who knew something like that was going to
happen. The good thing though, if there's anything good about any of this
idiocy, is that Noah didn't hear the news from strangers. Had he, Sharon
and Nick Newman wouldn't have been there for him.
Not that Nick was. Despite Noah hyperventilating right there on the Newman
Ponderosa, Nick took off to help with the search for Carter who was at the
moment emailing a photo of Phyllis and Summer to the Ponderosa. With
Daniel Romalotti's photographic blowup skills, it was the great Victor
Newman who first recognized from the photo's background where Carter was!
Additionally, thanks to Kevin Fisher having been enlisted to use his
miracle laptop, background noise heard during Carter's phone conversation
was so isolate it gave Williams, Fisher and Michael Baldwin a clue as to
Carter's whereabouts. Specifically, it was the sound of a train whistle
and - a cow - and we don't mean Nikki Newman.
As any good PI worth his salt would do, Williams informed Mrs. Baldwin of
Carter's location and gave her a gun! Yes friends, this is what you do if
you are clueless and your former wife has demonstrated sighs of mental
decay. Give the woman a weapon! Have Nick confirm the location too and say
that wherever Carter is, it ain't far from the Baldwin condom and everyone
knows condos are built in close proximity to dairy farms which explains
the moo cow.
And you think Mrs. Baldwin would wait for help from the men folk? Think
any of them would inform the police?
Think again.
Away Lauren went on her own. But not to the place where the men went! That
place, was a diversion; a trick like so many others Williams and his team
of boobs have fallen for.
Oh my god, if it wasn't so that when Lauren got to where Carter was there
was this woman; a neighbor who was more than happy to answer Lauren's
question: Had she seen two babies and a lady? Do bears crap in the woods?
Of course she had! No sooner had Lauren asked but what she heard the
babies yelping and Carter screaming at the kids to shut up and probably
anyone within earshot could have called too and filed a complaint with
Child Protective Services or the nice lady with a gun outside asking about
the babies.
It was, it had to be, that at that moment in time Phyllis made a move for
Carter's gun. As the babes brawled over the pea-shooter who should be
kicking the door in using her combat boots? Why, silly, it's Looney
Lauren! Confused as to which of the mud wrestlers was which, Lauren told
them to reach for the sky. And then, somewhere, perhaps over a
walkie-talkie, damn but what Williams and Mr. Baldwin weren't getting all
of this.
And then, and then, and then along came Jones. Oops, wrong dastardly doer.
A gunshot was heard!
So who took the bullet? Phyllis #1 or Phyllis #2? Or, by some miracle did
Lauren shoot them both and then turn the gun on herself? We can only hope
that we too aren't in the wrong place at the wrong time so as not to miss
when this entire kidnapping saga goes over the cliff on Friday and even
then we may still have to wait until Monday to find out what really
happened.
They
Deserve to Die!
February 6, 2007
by Brent Kellogg
Asking Michael
what they can do to help to find Fen-Fen and crew, and never mind that law
enforcement did not apparently tell them to just stay the hell out of it
if they ever hope to see their loved-ones again, Gloria Abbott and Kevin
Fisher were told to go around the town handing out flyers! There was no
mention of a reward, cheap bastards.
Having heard her husband mention flyers, Lauren broke down bawling yet
again as just the other day she'd taken photos of Fen-Fen and now, well,
it was all so terrible.
Meantime, an hour's drive away, Daniel Romalotti and his wife were puking
all over themselves at the Newman Ponderosa. Daniel was in a snit because
security there is so lack as if it is in any way incumbent on the Newman's
to provide security at all for their guests who voluntarily travel to and
fro to protect them from slime like Daniel's former drug sidekick, Alex.
As for Lily, learning that Sheila Carter had had plastic surgery to look
like her mother-in-law, she was absolutely creeped out.
While it was a day of everybody and their brother saying how tragic the
kidnapping was, and that they were praying, and generally making fools of
themselves, Sharon Newman was fearing that her young son might hear of the
kidnapping and pee his pants - or something. Calling former husband Nick
Newman, to say she too was praying for a wonderful outcome to another fine
mess, Sharon said she was rushing to fetch son Noah from school before
word got around. Undoubtedly, flyers would be posted at the school
too, and as we're about to learn, the Internet!
Nick Newman was one step ahead of the bitch in a pinch. Fast thinking
knuckle-dragging Neanderthal that he is, Nick said his mother had already
whisked Noah off to a museum in Chicago!
Also at the Ponderosa, never misses an opportunity to kiss Newman ass,
Neil Winters was regurgitating the old, can't imagine what it's like to be
kidnapped garbage and how he felt so bad for the Newman's and the
Baldwin's. He praised Daniel for being a good little trooper and went so
far as to tell the great Victor Newman he considers Daniel "part of the
family" even as Danny boy was being coddled by the alleged adults for fear
Daniel would pee all over himself.
With Kevin's help, however, Daniel was calm enough to go on the Internet
and post photos of Fen-Fen Baldwin, his mother and half-sister like anyone
surfing the Internet would see or give a rip unless maybe there was a
reward of which there seemed not to be, cheap bastards. Bouncing in and
out of paranoia, Daniel fussed so much Kevin had to assure him all will be
well, because, well, look how many times Carter has terrorized his family.
If they could survive, Phyllis and the babies will too. So what were they
so worried about?
Daniel stomped his little feet. Those damn cops! They are so inept they
won't be able to tell the difference between the real Sheila and the fake
Sheila and will therefore shoot his mommy!
At about the same time, Gloria was telling Lauren the same thing. Why is
she so worried? She's only survived a series of similar events since the
day she started singing with rock star Danny Romalotti. What's the
freaking problem?
At this point no sane person observing this crap would not have said,
"Jesus! Would Sheila just kill these people and put them out of their
misery already?"
Only it go worse. While Neil was sucking up, his freaky wife Dru was at
their wooden box noticing knickknacks were out of place and yet it
couldn't be David Chow playing with her head and sneaking into her box
because she'd changed the locks days ago.
Back at the Ponderosa a news crew had arrived to broadcast 'live' the sad
story. Nick went before the camera to tell how the mother of his baby gave
birth in an elevator the delivery of said baby pulled out of the womb by
the mother's former husband? Wasn't that special? Wouldn't the
Bible-thumpers sitting around the dinner table watching the news got off
on those family values?
And who too should be watching from the comfort of her captor's hideout?
Non other than the victim herself! Oh, but that wasn't the funny part.
Clueless PI Paul Williams, at the God Have Mercy Medical Center checking
up on his lady cop friend Maggie who'd finally awoke from her coma, was in
contact with Sheila! They had a lovely conversation during which Sheila
said - and we are not making this up - that Maggie Sullivan couldn't be
alive because she, Sheila, being a nurse and all, knows how to shoot
people dead. But she doesn't know how to check for a pulse afterwards,
because, well, that's how loopy she is.
Then, having been told by Clueless of the conversation with Sheila - but
that Clueless didn't know how the babies were, or Phyllis - Michael
cautioned Lauren that they should keep their voices down because they
didn't want the cops to know where Sheila might be!
So this is where you draw the line. If you had an iota of concern
remaining for these bozos, you said, "That's it! I'm done. While it's
absurd when the bozos say that someone "deserved" to die, anyone as stupid
as these people are deserve to die."
See also:
Tempting the Hand of Fate
Have a
Nice Day!
February 5, 2007
by Brent Kellogg
While covering
the Devon Hamilton courtroom drama today I
mentioned the Sheila Carter kidnapping, but didn't go into detail.
Thinking at first there wasn't much to add to what had already been
written about the Carter boondoggle, during a review of my notes a few
items of interest glared back. Silly as they were, it took thirty minutes
of looking at them before I found the courage to repeat them here.
You may agree that when Nick Newman discovered his wife and baby had been
kidnapped he immediately assumed they were at the Newman Ponderosa at the
time. Phyllis and Summer Newman were earlier, but how did Nick know that?
Did Phyllis leave voicemail? A note?
"Dear Nick;
Summer and
Fen-Fen and I, or is that me, have been kidnapped. Don't worry - Sheila's
got us. We'll be home soon. Be sure to turn off the crock-pot.
Love,
Phyllis."
And why, when a bawling Michael Baldwin called, did Nick answer Lauren
Baldwin's phone? Was she kidnapped too? Wasn't she visiting Phyllis at the
time? Why, no. Shelia left the one woman she hates most behind. Nothing
like leaving witnesses to the crime. Why would Baldwin ask Nick if he had
any idea where Sheila had taken his son, Fen-Fen? Was that in the note
too?
"PS/Sheila's
taking us to a retirement home. Please don't try to find us, we'll find
you."
Why, in God's name, did Nick alert Newman's worthless, rarely seen,
security team? Did he think Sheila might be holding Phyllis and the babies
out in the barn, and might he have been hoping Sheila would impale herself
on a pitchfork much the way that crazy maid 'Sarah' did after killing Dr.
Joshua Landers? And when anyone alerts security about a possible
kidnapping, isn't it presumed the perpetrator is dangerous? Why did Nick
have to tell the guard Sheila "could be" armed and dangerous? Did Nick
think to tell security too that Sheila looks like his wife? Wouldn't that
have been something Lauren would have told him?
Never mind that Baldwin should have been in court for the whole town is on
edge Hamilton trial, Nick had to ask where Baldwin was and did not seem
surprised when Baldwin said he was at a warehouse tending to the clueless
Paul Williams, and the shot by Sheila, Maggie Sullivan.
Point of fact: Baldwin said Sullivan was in such bad shape "it doesn't
look good" and yet where was the blood? Even Nikki Newman, shot four times
in the belly by 'Sarah', was found in a pool of blood. But, as Sullivan is
expected to live, Nikki did too despite having bled for more than eight
hours and found the next morning by Jack Abbott who had driven more than
an hour to deliver still hot Egg McMuffins.
Meantime, at the retirement home, no staff around to ask who the hell
those people are, Phyllis asked the now looking like her, except for a
grey wig, Sheila if she knew anyone there. Does it matter who Sheila
knows? Fearing that Sheila might eat the babies should she scream, Phyllis
remained silent.
Having received word of the kidnapping, Victor and Nikki Newman did not
say, "Christ, now what has the boy gotten himself into? Why are we always
running to be by his side?" as they raced to be by Nick's side. They
didn't have to go far. The tackyroom, just feet away, and suddenly never
called until after the fact, cops were swarming. Lauren was telling them
what had happened right down to the fine description of what Sheila and
Phyllis were wearing at the time. And, as always, when she could have
prevented much of what has happened, Lauren sniveled for the cops to
please find the babies and Phyllis.
Speaking of cops called after the fact, they were crawling around the
warehouse too. A meat wagon arrived to take a clinging-to-life Sullivan
away, and following a concocted story given by the real criminals, the
cops allowed the two boobs to leave. Making the one-hour drive to the
Ponderosa in less than fifteen minutes, Baldwin and Williams, along with
the Newman's and Lauren, stunningly asked themselves where Sheila could
be.
Did they look
in the barn? Did they go up to the paved over pond where Cassie Newman had
fallen into? Did they check out the forest where drug dealer Alex had
fled? Did they look out the tackyroom window Sharon Newman had so often
seen Cameron Kirsten? Did they go to the main house fully expecting Sheila
to beam in, and sitting on the sofa, have a chat with them? No.
Not to say Sheila wasn't sitting. It must have been she'd watched too many
Bogart movies which explained why she sat at the home watching television
and thus saw the nationwide Amber Alert. Everyone, except for the old
fogies at the home who didn't see Sheila and Company, saw the alert
including Jack Abbott.
That Abbott was watching TV right after he'd helped get a senator arrested
for bribery was not as crazy as the fact that nobody in this loopy city
ever watches TV except for when Leanna Love is breaking gossip on cable. I
missed it, but wasn't Phyllis' name mentioned in the Amber Alert? Nick
told Jack that "all details" had been broadcast, so why wasn't Jack half
out of his mind? Doesn't he still love Phyllis? Instead of freaking,
'cause he didn't know, Jack merely said that everyone involved are in his
"prayers". Forgive me for bringing up religion, but if I were Nick the
last person I'd want praying for me and my family is a heathen like Jack
Abbott.
And Lord, but what the cops were everywhere. Returning to their condom,
Michael and Lauren had to ask if the police were there. What? They didn't
see the patrol cars parked below? The didn't see the cops in Fen-Fen's
room trashing the place, and, what's that? The kidnapping didn't take
place there? Never mind the small details, the cops did have the phone
tapped in the event Sheila calls.
"Hello? Lauren? Michael? This is Sheila. No, I'm not calling about the
ransom. I don't want no ransom. I want Lauren's baby! Haven't you figured
that out by now? Let's see. I stole Lauren's first kid, tried to make
Scotty Grainger mine a few years ago, and now I've got not only Fen-Fen,
but the Newman baby too! Get it? Oops, gotta run before the trace can be
made. Have a nice day!"
Malicious
Dumbness
February 1, 2007
by Brent Kellogg
It was
somewhere between the first and second does of pain medication when I
happened to glance at the TV and felt it, a stab of pain as though I'd
been hit in the head with a hammer.
It wasn't David Chow telling Neil Winters that he'll be working with
Winters and Winters not being able to do anything about it, I'd already
taken that hit and it was painless. Like Dru Winters, I knew Chow
would pull a stunt like that.
It wasn't the apparent forgetfulness that the dead Carmen Mesta has a
brother living in Texas who could give a rat's ass that his sister died,
nor was it the sudden recollection of an obituary-reading Sharon Newman
telling the Winters that Mesta has a heretofore unknown sister in Texas
who equally has no interest in her sister's death or she would, it would
seem, have flown to Wisconsin the moment she got word.
It wasn't that the Winters immediately wanted a hunkmonkey posing as a PI
to find Mesta's sister, and J.T. Hellstrom saying the woman he inquired
about looks nothing like Mesta and therefore was not, presumably, Mesta's
sister. Nor was it the obvious acceptance by the Winters - that while
Newman had said there is a sister they lost all interest in finding the
sister - that caused something in my head to snap.
What caused my rapid blinking, and the forehead blood vessel to twitch so
much it looked ready to explode, was the wailing of a grown man. There,
virtually on his knees in the same cage he'd held Sheila Carter, was Paul
'Clueless' Williams pleading with his semi-girlfriend to please "wake up".
Only lady cop Maggie Sullivan wasn't sleeping; she was unconscious due to
having been whacked over the head by Carter. She can't merely "wake up"
like she'd be napping while waiting for rescue.
I've never understood why the freaks in Genoa City do this. Children, like
Noah Newman who wanted his half-sister Cassie to "wake up" from her coma,
I can understand. But adults? Isn't Clueless supposed to be a grown man?
Why then does he act so childish? Could it be because prior to Clueless'
arrival Sullivan was in fact snoozing? When she opened her eyeballs and
saw she was in the cage, why didn't Sullivan recognize Phyllis Newman?
Doesn't Carter walk and talk and look like Newman? Wasn't Michael Baldwin
so convinced he had to pull the hair of the real Newman to be sure Newman
wasn't Carter?
Hasn't Sullivan, a police detective, ever heard of the mistress of
disguise, the evil Sheila Carter? Does she not know an iota of Carter's
history and yet had to ask who Carter was?
Another question might be, if, as Carter will, when she travels to the
Newman Ponderosa, how is she getting around? Is the abandoned warehouse
where the cage is on a bus route? Did she rent a car and if so, wouldn't
Clueless have seen it when he arrived at the warehouse? Considering a few
days ago - when Baldwin found the locale - shouldn't Clueless have looked
around before rushing to Sullivan's aid to see if someone else hadn't
found it too?
Of course for Clueless to do something logical wouldn't have been logical
as he was meant to be cracked over the head too. Funny though, once
muscle-head, thought to be suffering with a stomach wound infection,
Carter had dragged his body into the cage, nobody had to ask Clueless to
wake up. He did that by himself subsequent to Carter shooting Sullivan
with a gun.
You see why my head was hurting? Why shoot the cop, but not Clueless? Why
only wound Sullivan and not shoot both of them dead? So that they might
live and escape and eventually capture Carter?
The bawling, the sounds of a sissy, made my skin crawl too. Grow up! If
you can't be a real man, pretend to be one, I wanted to scream, as
Clueless pleaded with Sullivan to "wake up".
And when Sullivan came around, Clueless exacerbated the pain in my head by
sniveling for her to stay awake and then screaming for help as if folks
out at the bus stop would hear him. Hey Clueless! You're in a freaking
abandoned warehouse miles from civilization. Did you forget?
The sad part, and isn't it all so sad, is that for all the trouble Carter
has gone too, not one of her victims has died. She's had a million chances
to take these morons out, and I for one was wishing she would, and yet
they're still alive which, in a way, is a good thing because it's allowed
me to conclude that what I'm suffering from is a case of malicious
dumbness. There's a lot of that going around.
Who Let
the Dog Out?
January 29, 2007
by Brent Kellogg
Is it over
yet? Is there some sort of end in sight? Can we all emerge from the dark
cloud of sheer ongoing terror in this city regarding reliquaries and
crazies that seep into your toenails and eat away at your colon and steal
your common sense?
Nope. Not yet.
First and foremost we must have loopy Lauren Baldwin, wanting Sheila
Carter so dead, changing his mind today and running out to the cage to be
sure Sheila's still alive. Lauren is worried that Sheila's infection may
kill her and so calls her doctor and lies about needing an antibiotic. And
while no legitimate doctor prescribes antibiotics over the phone anymore,
the quack who treated Lauren buys the lie that she needs drugs in order to
attend a meeting and happily gives her a script much better than the one
she's reading from.
Moments later, Lauren, and the bodily discharge known as Paul 'Clueless'
Williams, are at his love nest where she beams of having scored the drugs
and thanks Clueless for catching Sheila like some great while shark off
the bow of the Neptune. Lauren also produces some pills she took during
her bout of depression and while there is no evidence, other than that
Lauren is psychotic, Clueless worries she's become addicted.
And still later, after he'd had a dream of Sheila escaping, Clueless took
the two anti-depressants Lauren gave him!
Prior to that madness, Clueless returned to the cage where he attempted to
shove antibiotics down Sheila's throat like she was a sick dog. And like a
dog might do, Sheila bit him and one might think Clueless better get a
rabies shot except that he's already rabid. It wasn't without pee on the
funny papers either as Clueless got upset when Sheila wouldn't take the
pills. Gosh, he was only trying to help.
After that Clueless met with his hunkmonkey sidekick, sometimes
make-believe PI, JT Hellstrom who wanted him to help investigate the local
college professor who is banging his blowup doll. Why, sure! Clueless will
help. It's not like he's got his plate full holding a woman hostage. It's
not like he's got a slew of other cases to investigate. It's not like
Clueless would ask the hunkmonkey, "Why can't you investigate professor
Gerbil yourself? Conflict of interest? Too busy working for Katherine
Sterling? How's that going? You spent a minute looking into Phillip
Chancellor's whereabouts?"
While all this was going on, Lauren was sticking her puppies out at
Michael Baldwin and bragging how she "saved" Sheila. How'd she do that? By
leaving Sheila to rot in a cage as an infection eats away at her belly
wound.
But get this. Busy as a bee conspiring with Clueless, and now his wife,
Baldwin declared he's ready to represent Devon Hamilton at Hamilton's
court trial this Friday! My, where'd he find the time? When was the jury
selected? Remember when Dru Winters and witnesses had to appear before a
Grand Jury? Why didn't the same apply to Hamilton?
Baldwin even found time to meet with Hamilton's adopted family to say he
wants to coach the boy in the event Hamilton is called to testify. What
the hell? How long as Baldwin been a lawyer? Oops, how soon we forget.
Baldwin is not a criminal defense lawyer. If he was, he'd know that the
decision for Hamilton to testify in his own case is a decision Baldwin
makes. For example, the DA cannot call the defendant as a witness against
himself.
Fortunately, while they didn't know why, the Winters were opposed. Mrs.
Winters said too she'd like to testify on Hamilton's behalf and was told -
no! Why? Whatever she'd say on the witness stand would do more bad than
good. That's probably true as what could she possibly say that would be
germaine to the case? That she was with her son when Carmen Mesta was
killed? Was a timeline ever established?
It even appeared Hamilton knew a travesty of justice is lurking around the
corner as he questioned Baldwin's ability only to be told by the Winters
that Baldwin is "the best" damn lawyer the world has ever seen. This,
despite that he had questioned the way Baldwin is handling this case, Mr.
Winters said Baldwin didn't seem himself, and then added that Baldwin is
the "best" lawyer he's ever known.
Adding to the lunacy was Mrs. Winters receiving another call from Mesta.
When Mr. Winters heard the voice he said it wasn't Mesta, but rather a
telemarketer which raised the question: Do telemarketers have a particular
sound? When the voice told Mrs. Winters that she's going to "pay" for what
she's done, did Winters think, "Golly, I wouldn't have ordered the Clapper
had I known there was a price to pay."
But the kicker, there's always a kicker, was when lady cop Maggie Sullivan
sniffed the air. Picking up the scent of Sheila's rotting wound, the pee
in the pot, and the body odor, Sullivan drove straight to the cage! Seeing
Sheila, Sullivan set her free. But wait! How'd she do that? Did Clueless
leave the key hanging on a hook? Did Sullivan have a key to the city jail
and one key fits all cells? Did Clueless not lock the cell feeling
confident that the escapable Sheila Carter would be confined by a pair of
handcuffs? Not that she needs it, did Sullivan ever get her badge back?
Did she bother to ask Sheila why she was in the cage or who put here
there?
The moment the handcuffs came off Sheila choked Sullivan into
unconsciousness and then made her escape.
Day at
the Ambulance Chase
January 17, 2007
by Brent Kellogg
The thing to
keep an eye on today was how criminals Michael Baldwin and Paul 'Clueless'
Williams would deal with their captive having stabbed herself. Shoving a
shank deep into her belly, Sheila Carter, looking very much like Phyllis
Newman, bled like a stuck pig. Already knee-deep in crap, Williams and
Baldwin pondered what they should do as the blood sloshed under their
shoes. They considered First-Aid and dismissed taking Carter to the God
Have Mercy Medical Center unlike how Ether Valentine's captors willingly
took her to the hospital so that she could bump into a friend who just
happened to be there and whisper in his hear that she, and the friend's
mother, were in trouble.
As expected, the boob boys weighed their alternatives without actually
having to enter a moral dilemma. The question of should they let Carter
die or do the right thing didn't come up as Carter was doing fine with all
that blood pouring out of her belly. Besides, if the question had come up,
they'd have to figure out what might happen if Carter told someone of her
days in captivity. Would it be curtains for the boobs? Would Baldwin lose
his license to practice law? Would someone take away Williams' decoder
ring? Would they both find themselves charged with a crime, and if so,
would some sleepy judge come along to pin a medal on them, declare them
heroes for taking out an enemy of the state, and dismiss all charges?
Probably. It's been done before.
It was done in the Kevin Fisher case. It was done in the Cassie Newman
wrongful death case and the Tom Fisher murder case when Ashley Abbott was
absolved of having anything to do with the death just like nobody
complained when Ashley stole a man's sperm. If criminals aren't entirely
let off the hook, they most always escape, like Ralph Hunnicutt and
whoever ran Bobby Marsino down and Phyllis Summers who killed Sasha Green
and was never charged.
In cases where the criminals are well-connected they get patted on the
back and praised for their victims almost certainly "deserved" to die much
the way Carter should have died long ago. While it's presumed that's what
will happen to Baldwin and Williams, there will be of course weeks of hand
wringing especially if Carter escapes and more likely if she doesn't tell
anyone she's innocent and subsequently dies in, oh, say a fire set by
Fisher thereby letting him off the hook as having had anything to do with
the death of Carmen Mesta.
Alas, the cliffhanging drama didn't unfold quite as projected. Instead of
adamantly demanding she be taken to a hospital, Carter settled for some
first-aid while Baldwin held Williams gun on her. No, not that gun, but
don't you get the feeling he'd like to? Asked if he had the balls to shoot
her, Baldwin had no comment. He did say that should she die he and his
sidekick would find a place to dump her body. Outside a jazz club might be
nice.
Not one to have ever been a Boy Scout, Williams left it up to Carter to
not only tell him how to apply first-aid, but write it down on paper for
future reference. Since Carter was once a nurse, she fully complied. The
hole in her gut plugged temporarily, Carter told Williams he may have won
this battle, but he hasn't won the war which, given how these dramas drag,
could go on as long as the Iraq invasion has.
His little role played out, Baldwin was told to go home as though it was
just another day of ambulance chasing. Once home, Baldwin told his loving
wife that indeed, he'd had a rough day.
Reach for
the Sky
January 4, 2007
by Brent Kellogg
Before getting
into how Sheila Carter came be held captive by Paul Williams, I was
thinking this current outbreak of crime in Genoa City might be called a
spree if it gets any worse. Not only do we have Katherine Chancellor
Sterling admitting that she stole her own daughter's baby and switched it
with another, we've got Williams guilty of kidnapping and Michael Baldwin
aiding and abetting him.
My mind can wrap around an ordinary citizen resorting to crime, say a man
who kills the guy who raped his daughter, but Baldwin and Williams are
supposed to be professionals. More so in Baldwin's case as he's an officer
of the court. As crazy as this city is, last I checked it wasn't the Wild
Wild West where vigilantes took law into their own hands.
Besides bugging Williams' vehicle, Baldwin has added lock picking to his
repertoire. He gained illegal entry into the abandoned mine shaft, or
farmhouse, or whatever it is where Carter is being held and I'll be damned
but what he didn't notice beforehand Williams' car out front? If he had
been tracking it, and he was on the computer from his office, shouldn't he
have known where the car was before entering the building?
And why, unless he's become delusional, would Williams put a gun to
Baldwin's head? For dramatic effect? Is this something Williams saw on
Gunsmoke? "Reach for the sky," Williams did not say, but he may as well
have for as silly as making Baldwin put his hands up was.
Meanwhile, the girl tied to the railroad tracks is screaming. Sheila, who
now looks and speaks like Phyllis Newman, has Baldwin nearly convinced
she's Phyllis. Williams says it's really Sheila pretending to be Phyllis.
It takes some doing, but Baldwin finally gets it's Sheila. He calls home
to ask his depressed wife if the real Phyllis just happens to be there. Surprise,
surprise, she is!
With Phyllis on the line, Baldwin asks where the best place they
ever had sex is. She says his office. He asks where in his office. She
says the swivel chair. Hot damn but what Phyllis wins the jackpot which
can only mean the Phyllis in the cage is the fake one.
So how did Williams find out Sheila was alive? Christ Almighty, he
practically told everyone she was and that she'd had plastic surgery to
look like Phyllis. Wasn't anyone listening?
And how did Williams come to learn that Sheila was back in town? Brace
yourself for this, have a barf-bag handy too.
While purchasing a gift for Mrs. Baldwin's baby he just happened to bump
into Phyllis as the same store buying baby clothes too! Psychotic that he
is, Williams got a bad vibe so he followed Phyllis to the abandoned
whatever and Sheila not once noticed she was being followed. It wasn't so
much the vibe that tipped Williams off that Phyllis was really Sheila, it
was when he saw where she went. He could tell for sure when he saw that
Sheila had constructed an exact replica of the Baldwin nursery.
How Sheila would have known what the nursery looks like wasn't immediately
explained and probably never will because that would require as extensive
an explanation as the one detailing how it came to be that Sheila is able
to speak like Phyllis too. I say it's those magic pills.
But then Williams' story changed slightly.
After following Sheila he waited while she went out again and when she
returned pulled his pea-shooter because he had a vibe. Pretending to be as
shocked as he was to see the hideout, Phyllis, really Sheila, was about to
alert the authorities when Williams stopped her and locked her in the
cage.
Hearing this, Baldwin thinks back and lo but what he determines that
Sheila must have gained access to his condom. How else would she have
known what the nursery looked like? Worse yet, Baldwin surmised Sheila was
going to kidnap his baby. As for why Baldwin wasn't told their worse
nightmare was alive, Williams says he thought about it, but felt it best
if he didn't considering what a freak Lauren has become. Moreover,
Williams said he knew Lauren had a premonition that Sheila was "near" and
wanted badly to eat her baby. Thus, Williams did what he did to protect
his former wife who ironically never wanted to have a baby when she was
married to him in 1983.
The subtotal so far is that Williams wants Baldwin to keep his crime a
secret. Knowing secrets have a way in this town of getting out, Baldwin
said he'll conspire, but he doesn't know for how long. As to what will
become of Sheila, Williams says he'll think of something.
It might have come to pass that Baldwin would have left well enough alone
or at least, because he claims to be a lawyer, gone to the police and let
them handle Sheila and this time much the way Hannibal Lecter was handled.
But no, Baldwin likes living in fear. He enjoys having to look over his
shoulder each time he sees the real Phyllis so that he can wonder if it's
Sheila.
And so it was that the moment Baldwin arrived home and saw Phyllis he got
squeamish. He pulled Phyllis' hair and she, dumb as a duck, thought it was
just his way of being "surprised" to see her. What? He didn't know she was
there? He didn't call her earlier? What was the surprise?
It there is a surprise it's that Baldwin would trust Williams. If not for
Williams' letting Sheila escape the last time he had her trapped in an
abandoned farmhouse, she'd be making license plates in the State Pen
speaking of which, where does Sheila get her money? How did she pay for
the trip to Argentina and the new face and the return trip to Wisconsin?
Who paid for the rental car she was driving, or was it stolen, or did she
buy it? How could she afford baby clothes and if she didn't pay someone to
build the cage how did she pay for the parts and where does one buy the
material to build a cage? Wouldn't someone at Home Depot been suspicious?
If Sheila did gain access to Baldwin's condom, what does that say about
security. Considering the fear the Baldwin's live in, given how worried
Williams says he was about Lauren, why didn't he give them one of his
fancy alarm systems?
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