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Making the Grade

April 3, 2007
by Brent Kellogg

Pop quiz: If you'd just cut your daughter off; if you'd pulled the silver spoon out of her mouth, would you stand by as her uncle un-did everything you'd done? Not bloody likely. But then, what could you do if your daughter is legally an adult? Not much, really. Which may explain why Brad Carlton was belching hot air today.

Within moments of cutting Colleen Carlton off, when he'd shoved the college tuition bill in her face and told her to pay it - and you gotta wonder what university bills its students - when he'd just taken away the car, there Jack Abbott was giving Colleen a handout. So long as she continues living at the Abbott Hotel, Jack will pay her tuition. Call it loan. Not a big loan, college tuitions in Genoa City are a dime a dozen. Colleen could probably pay her own way using the money she makes as a waitress, but then she'd have to actually show up for work and what kid wants to do that when they rarely show up for school?

Brad was grumpy. If Colleen wants to be an adult, let's see act like one. Let's see her walk some pounds off that fat ass as she treks to and from GCU and that'll probably happen once, if at all, before Colleen is bumming rides or being picked up each day by her professor. Oh, Colleen said she can take the bus, but outside Mac Browning and Noah Newman, what rich kid in this city has ever ridden a stinking bus?

After accepting Jack's loan, Colleen hoofed it over to see Professor Gerbil. She whined about daddy taking the T-bird away and asked if perhaps she might get a scholarship. In what? Gothic art? Not that it mattered, the professor said all scholarships have been given out already! Somewhat peeved that if there had been but one scholarship remaining she could apply for it and have her application approved in about an hour, Colleen threatened to drop out of school until she recalled having just made a deal with the Devil to pay her tuition. In fact, the tuition had already been paid as evidenced by Brad's confrontation with Jack during which Brad said the university had called to tell him.

As if colleges anywhere on the globe would do this, or would give a rip who pays so long as the school is paid, Colleen's situation was furthered complicated when the professor said that because Brad is on the warpath they can no longer see each other effectively cutting her off from sex too. Forget that they were already pretending not to see each other, this time the professor meant it. Since it was short school day, since in some states the Spring semester doesn't start for a few days from now, Colleen got an urge to drop by the Jitter Joint.

At the same time, Lily Romalotti, Colleen's one and only friend, was having an urge for pizza. Not just any pizza; not Domino's or Pizza Hut, Lily wants Athletic Club manger Gina Roma's pizza, or at least something pasta related. Believe it or don't, Gina still dispenses her RoadKill Italian delicacies at the the AC. Without much interest in how Lily is doing these days, Colleen cried on her shoulder. Daddy cut her off. The silver lining though is that now she won't have to sneak around behind daddy's back acting like a grade school student in puppy love.

In other school daze news, Lily's mother and father, Dru and Neil Winters, were wringing their hands. When they'd checked their Palm Pilots this morning the words 'report cards due' popped out at them. Resembling new parents, the Winters said that between adopted son Devon Hamilton's loss of hearing problem and his arrest in connection with the Carmen Mesta murder case, Mama Dru's arrest in the same case and her subsequent incarceration in a loony bin, they'd been keeping an eye on Lily's college scores because she hadn't done well in high school. They were astounded to learn later however that Lily got straight A's on her report card as did Devon.

It was different story for Lily's husband. Having started college after his wife did and spending most of his time surfing porn on the Internet, Daniel Romalotti got an 'F' in one subject only it wasn't the type his mother-in-law had once recommended her sister give the best of to Brad Carlton. Additionally, Daniel's other grades weren't the greatest proving again that repetitive masturbation can make you go blind.

See also: Getting an Education in Genoa City
When teens won't go to school and other school daze madness

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