Dear readers, in an uncharacteristically generous
mood, I've created my own very special awards for
the Genoa City residents who made me laugh, cry, and
pull my hair out throughout 2007. Last time I
checked, no one was holding a gun to my head and
forcing me to tune into Y&R every day, so whether
I'm loving it or hating it, there's obviously a
reason I'm watching it.
And so, without further ado, I'm dropping the catty
sarcasm (mostly, probably), and I now present to you
the First Annual Liza Van Horne Awards for
Excellence In The Achievement Of Entertaining Me,
otherwise known simply as "The Hornies".
Peter Bergman gets my enthusiastic vote for Favorite
Actor. No one can equal his man-tears, and his range
is truly impressive. I love to watch him grapple
with his conscience, and I love to see him
occasionally happy. Following close behind is
Christian LeBlanc, whom I find charismatic, sexy and
at times, hilariously overdramatic.
This year, I have to give the Favorite Actress "Hornie"
to Melody Thomas Scott, whose work in the post "Out
Of The Ashes" hospital scenes was amazing. She is a
very strong actress when they give her something
worthwhile to do, and I hope the new writers will
give her some meaty storylines in 2008. If she does
not win an Emmy this year, there is no justice.
I've ragged on Noah Newman many times, but Hunter
Allan has improved quite a lot, and he gets the Best
Young Actor "Hornie". The writers finally consulted
someone who actually has children and realized that
Noah was being given dialog befitting a five year
old. Hunter Allan's had a growth spurt and is
looking and acting like an 11-year-old, and I think
he's doing well with these more mature themes
lately.
The Drama Queen "Hornie" goes to none other than
Judith Chapman, who cracks my shit up with her
classic campy bug-eyed smugness. Gloria is an
infuriating character, but also, for me, very
amusing to watch. Not to mention I can always count
on her for the Scratching the Surface reports. The
question is not whether or not I like Gloria, but
whether or not Judith Chapman plays her well, and
Lordy Lordy, she really does. Greg Rikkart gets my
vote for Drama King, since he has been slaying me
lately with his very twisted relationship with his
mother.
The STFU "Hornie" is a tie this year between Don
Diamont and Sharon Case. Sharon Case is capable of
acting - she'd been playing off Peter Bergman very
well and I was impressed, having had my doubts about
them as a viable couple. But lately it's been just
disgusting to watch her flailing around like a
hopped-up shrew. Also, Ms. Case, I really need you
to cut your hair, if I haven't mentioned it. Don
Diamont needs no elaboration. He sucks, period,
exclamation point.
The Most Improved Character "Hornie" goes to ...
wait for it ... Adrienne Frantz. I know, I know!
When Amber first arrived on the scene, I thought she
looked like Janice from The Muppet Show, and her
character was so stilted and wooden. She's infused
the character with humor, playfulness, and an
impulsive streak a mile wide - but also shows us
Amber's fierce loyalty and vulnerabilities. I still
don't like her, but Frantz does a good job with the
role.
Who gets the Favorite New Character "Hornie"? None
other than Daniel "Dreamboat" Goddard, who I would
NOT kick out of my bed for eating crackers. His
chemistry with other actors is off the charts, and
once in a while he surprises me by being a little
snarky. He has managed to achieve the impossible: he
has made me kind of almost not hate Lily.
The "Hornie" for Favorite Couple goes to Eyal Podell
and Adrienne Leon... but the "Hornie" for Most
Despised Couple goes to Eyal Podell and Tammin
Sursiks. The recast of Colleen was completely
offensive and unnecessary. It ruined Korbleen, and
it's seriously painful to watch a good actor like
Podell try to play off that fetus-headed nimrod who
can't even disguise her accent. It's a freaking
disgrace. My condolences, Mr. Podell, dahling. The
other reporters here think you're a gerbil, but I am
like totally in love with you.
If I had to pick a single actress on the show who is
consistently the Best Dressed, it would be Jess
Walton, for sure. Sure, I rip on her
ball-bearing-and-paper-clip necklaces, but in truth,
the woman knows what suits her, and Jill's wardrobe
is always the best. Lots of wrap tops and V-necks,
and she looks put-together no matter what. Her
hairstyle is very anti-soap opera; it's kicky and
contemporary, and whatever slight adjustment to
color or (simply a trim) she recently got, it looks
fantastic. Her makeup is never overdone, her eyes
are bright and expressive, and she knows how to
accessorize, so the "Hornie" for Best Fashion goes
to her.
Finally, the "Hornie" for My Favorite Veteran Actor"
goes to Jeanne Cooper, who has been on this show
since the days when dinosaurs roamed the earth, and
still manages to grow as a character, look fabulous,
and show off her acting chops when given good
material. Kudos to you, Ms. Cooper, and may you and
Katherine Chancellor enjoy many more years as the
Grande Damme of Genoa City.
That's it for the First Annual Liza Van Horne Awards
for Excellence in the Achievement of Entertaining
Me. Have fun at your parties, but call a cab or get
a ride if you need one. Drinking and driving is for
assholes, and our readers are not assholes.
