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The idea that Sharon Abbott is on a promotional tour for, wait, it's coming to me, Newman Enterprises Cosmetics Division? No, that can't be. Sharon doesn't work for Newman, does she? Isn't it NVP? It's easy to get confused because NVP, which is said to be owned by Nikki Newman, has its headquarters in the Newman Towers building which is owned by the great Victor Newman who is currently estranged from wife Nikki who owes hubby Victor so much money she may have to sell the company to Victor if he doesn't get it from her first by default.

Her company on the brink of going belly up, why would Nikki be opening two new health spas and why would she re-hire Phyllis Newman, a woman who thinks Victor is capable of murder? If in fact Sharon works for NVP, why has it been months since she showed up for work? Now that Sharon's husband is no longer a state senator, is Jack Abbott running NVP? Isn't that why the disgraced senator joined Nikki and Katherine Sterling in their lawsuit against Victor?

Like Sharon's age, it's hard to keep track and thus I can't fault NVP for sending an aging hag out to promote what are supposed to be health spas. I am concerned though with who came up with the new NVP product "Sweet Adorations"? Is that a toxic chemical old women put on their faces to make them look younger? SA couldn't be for the 18-35 age demographic - could it? Aren't the babes in this group more concerned about the appearance of their breasts? Sweet adorations sounds like such a misnomer.

It wouldn't surprise me if Sharon announces soon that NVP will be making an hour-long prime-time reality drama about shopping-obsessed sluts hitting each other with pocketbooks as they fight to keep their place in line at Fenmore's Department Stores cosmetics counters hoping to get their hands on a jar of SA. Sharon could roundup a pack of half-naked brainless women like Lily Winters, Colleen Carlton and Daniel Romalotti to parade around selling SA to neurotic, self-hating, weight-obsessed, pimply-faced little girls.

Sharon could do a lot of things, but like her trip to New York don't expect her to get much work done in Chicago. Brad Carlton, who it would seem also continues working at Newman Enterprises when he is despised by Jack, Victor and Phyllis, apparently has something to do with NVP too in that he coordinated Sharon's trip. Brad has a secretary who made all the arrangements and God only knows why Brad has a secretary unless she does whatever it is Brad is supposed to do when he's not at the office which is as often as when Sharon's not at the office which is most of the time and this week they're both out of the office and together in Sharon's hotel room where the question on everyone's mind is whether Sharon can control how wide her legs open.

It's funny that what was supposed to be a report on Nick Newman contains five paragraphs about Sharon, but that's what happens when you start, with apologies to Zapato and Fisher, writing about dogs.

Nick is a dog. As in bow-wow, he howled last week how hard it is being Victor Newman's son, and today told Victor he doesn't want to be like daddy. Oh the hypocrisy! Nick doesn't mind riding the Newman gravy train, he's never had to work a day in his life, was laughed out of Seattle the one time he tried getting a job on his own without a college degree, was given the CEO title at Newman Enterprises twice, and he doesn't want to be like daddy?

Nick has nothing to worry about. He'll never be like Victor. Victor never wanted his father in prison. Victor didn't go to the FBI to rat out Albert Miller. Victor has fired Nick before, however. Twice as I recall, and each time shoved the gold spoon back into Nick's foul, back-biting mouth. Now that he's fired Nick a third time, if Victor backs down again, I will be deeply disappointed.

I will hold my breath and turn blue if down the road - in a symbol of the old-boy white male power structure that still insists on its power and privilege in Genoa City society - as he says they are Newmans, and nobody can devalue the family they are, Victor hands back to Nick the keys to the empire.

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