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Living
in Genoa City
Thinking about moving?
Living USA recently picked these features about our fine city. After checking the list
you'll see why Genoa City is the place for you.
Education:
Genoa City University is known for its accelerated undergraduate and law school programs.
Need a college degree? Attend a few night classes and you'll be flashing the degree of
your choice in record time. Four year law degrees may be obtained in only one year!
Walnut Grove Academy is a private high school priding itself on casual admissions.
Can't register yourself? No family members to register for you? No problem! At WGA anyone
can register anyone. If you decide not to attend class once enrolled don't worry. Students
are not penalized for failing to attain passing grades.
Health:
The God Have Mercy Medical Center (formerly the Center 4 Disease) prides itself as the only hospital with exclusive private rooms, each
decorated with original paintings and plush furniture. Staff doctors specialize in all
areas of medicine. Some doctors are so dedicated they work while they themselves have
internal bleeding or other serious illness. Shot in the gut four times? No problem! Simply
lay in a pool of your own blood for eight hours and wait until a friend drives over an
hour to bring you breakfast and you'll survive!
On your death bed at the GHM? No problem!
Simply ask a former husband or wife for "the will to live" and you'll be up and
about before you know it. In severe pain? No problem! Your attending doctor will instruct
all visitors to leave allowing you to summon them back on an individual basis.
Got a 104.5 temperature and need to get out of your hospital bed for some
cool air? No problem. Hospital staff will look the other way while you slip
away then do nothing when you return to really slip away - for good!
Worried about the high cost of medical care? Don't. Only one person in
this city has ever received a bill. And thanks to a billing department open
all hours that bill was paid.
Legal Services:
Need an attorney but don't want to shell out those stiff retainer fees? Pop into Genoa
City's Legal Aid! You don't need to phone ahead for an appointment. Just walk in and find
a lawyer willing to take your case without first determining if you even qualify for Legal
Aid.
Legal Aid turned you down? In those rare cases never fear. Without you having to call,
the Genoa City Bar Association will order a private lawyer to take your case pro bono. If
the private lawyer is part of a law firm no consultation with the partners is needed.
Need a good criminal defense lawyer? No problem. Christine 'Bug' Blair,
her only experience prosecuting Victor Newman for a while collar crime to
which he pled guilty, will happily defend all those charged with vehicular
manslaughter.
If your child has jumped bail and can't be found, Private Detective Paul
'Clueless' Williams will put his best trainee on the case - for a small fee
you'll never be asked to pay.
Sports:
Genoa City makes up for its lack of professional and college athletics with a year round
soccer program. Phased out in the early 2000s soccer was replaced with
Little League Baseball.
Parks & Recreation:
There are no amusement or theme parks in Genoa City but Waterfront Park on the outskirts
of City Center is known for being a nice to place for women to walk alone in at night.
Warning: watch out for the muggers! Conveniently located near the Newman
Jitter Joint, "The Park" is a great place for teens to meet other teens
their parents have told them to stay away from. "The park" is also a great
place to meet the homeless and those named "Rose" with physical handicaps.
Remodeled in 2004, Genoa City's only paint factory was converted into a
recreation center for the city's disadvantaged kids by Victor Newman. While
rich kids and Newman's illegitimate daughter permeated the place, the Wreck
Center dropped off radar following an attempted rape, drug deals and the
discovery of a skeleton, a boy, Newman's wife shot to death more than 40
years ago.
Business:
Genoa City is home to two cosmetics giants headquartered here. Jabot Cosmetics and the
Rash & Sassy division of Newman Enterprises. Popular in the 2000s, Safra
and Tuvia lines of the above listed companies became defunct when they were
unable to capitalize on two very dead orchids smuggled illegally out of
Japan.
Of Dennison Vanguard, Chancellor
Industries and Hodges Savings & Loan, only the later two were active as
of 2005. McDonald's, BurgerKing and other fast-food
restaurants are banned by local law. Late at night but you need a lawyer? A
latte? Chinese takeout? No problem! Most
offices and stores here are open around the clock.
Employment:
Need a job but you've just arrived in Genoa City and you don't have any experience or
references? No problem! Many Genoa City companies offer unlimited potential through a
unique 'No Experience - No Education - Mailroom to Boardroom Fast Track Program'. Once
hired, be sure to ask about the 'No Fire' plan which allows employees to come and go to
work on their own time schedules. Don't want to work once you've been hired? No problem!
You can choose not to show up for work and not have to worry about being terminated. Note:
requirements for secretaries slightly different. Secretaries in Genoa City are required to
work all hours but can never been found at their desks.
Cuisine:
The ColonRoom is an exclusive formal restaurant where ring side seats are sold on the side
to the many fights which break out at this fancy eatery. Management refuses to ban anyone
for any reason. Want to lay in bed with your honey in front of other
patrons? The ColonRoom maintains a round mattress in its dank and damp
basement for just this purpose.
Once all the rage, the RoadKill Cafe claimed to be an Italian bistro where owner Gina Roma
pried into every aspect of customers personal life all the while saying "I didn't
mean to
pry". Roma was known for giving away free booze just before patrons left
the RoadKill to insure
they were drunk as the dead skunk she served with her world famous eyeball soup.
The RoadKill eventually went out of business when it was burned to the
ground.
In less than a month Roma was hired at the all-new Athletic Supporter
Club as club manager. The ASC prides itself on being a one-stop center.
Complete with saunas the gym is fully equipped. After a hard workout
customers can tank up on booze at the bar, or fill their bellies with a hot
meal in the restaurant. Those in need of a room for the night or longer can
stay at the club's accompanying motel. No money? No problem. Unlimited
credit is available to old and newcomers alike. Be forewarned: Minors are
allowed to congregate at this club without parental supervision and are
often seen studying for exams. While membership is required membership cards
are not checked at the door.
Newman
Rocks (renamed the Jitter Joint) is the latest coffee shop/school kid hangout where kids of all ages are now
welcomed. Located near Genoa City University, Newman Rocks is frequented by local business
owners and employees willing to walk miles for the JJ ambiance.
Once the place where adults and teens went to have sex in its upstairs
sperm-stained rooms, The Lodge Restaurant & Brothel has seen a
dramatic loss of clientele in recent years.
Culture:
At one time
Genoa City had the highest number of authors per capita in North America.
There was
young author Cole Howard who claimed to have written over 50 books and local resident Nina
Webster was so fortunate as to run into her favorite author one day while dining at
the Newman
Jitter Joint. She said Tomas del Cerro was her favorite author despite that del Cerro had only written one
book. Webster moved to California where her one and only book was to have
been turned into a movie.
Historic District:
On the road leading out of Genoa City you can't miss the Chancellor Mausoleum. If you
happen to be walking along in a daze on Chancellor Drive and smell coffee coming from the
mausoleum be sure to walk up and knock on the door. You'll be instantly invited in by the
ditsy maid and later asked to be a handyman by the lady of the house.
Transportation:
Genoa City's mass transit system can't be beat. Bus stops can be found on every corner
with buses running everywhere around the clock except to the Newman
Ponderosa. Unfortunately, only a few school kids use
the system. In a pinch? Genoa City Taxi service charges only $50 each way to
and from the Ponderosa.
Air – We Fly You Anywhere Air. Featuring hourly departures to every city around the
world. Need a flight to Italy? No problem! Simply get your butt to the airport "in
about an hour" and catch the next flight even if you are over an hour away! Passports
and Visa's? Not needed.
Environment:
In Genoa City it is cold enough to ski and warm enough for summer clothing in January.
People here slip on ice even when streets are bare.
Restrictions:
There is a six month waiting period for remarriage but the period can be waived if you are a powerful
businessperson with the ability to put pressure on local judges. No waiting time for tables at
restaurants. Need a medical appointment? No problem! Doctor's here can always
"squeeze" you into their busy schedules.
BUSINESS
LISTINGS
P rentiss
Industries
402 N. Clinton
Co-Owner Vanessa Prentiss
One of the first
businesses in Genoa City, PI is still in business but rarely heard from. At last report,
Vanessa Prentiss owns the controlling stock. Her two sons, Lance and Lucas, fought each
other for power and share the remaining stock.
Newman
Enterprises
7800 Melrose Ave
Chairman of the Board & President - Victor Newman
CEO - Nick Newman
Right Hand Man - Neil Winters
Victor Newman's
office is on the 22nd floor of Newman Towers but Newman often confuses his office with his
penthouse suite which is on the 35th floor. NE is said to be a "worldwide financial
empire". Brad Carlton and Jack Abbott have been employed by NE a number of times.
Neil Winters is currently one of the many vice-presidents and one of Newman's most trusted
employees. Vice-president, Ryan McNeil served as assistant to the founder
before his untimely death.
A NE subsidiary,
Brash & Sassy was run by Victor Newman's daughter, Victoria, before she
left town unexpectedly. R&S and the entire Newman cosmetics division is now
run by Winters' wife, Dru. Phyllis Summers serves as company webmaster.
Jabot
Cosmetics
304 S. Fourth St
Founder - John Abbott
CEO - Jill Abbott
John Abbott
maintains his office on the 12th floor of Jabot but is most often seen in the boardroom.
At one time, Jabot was controlled by parent company, Newman Enterprises. Ashley Abbott
Carlton serves
as chief chemist in charge of product development and was once President
until being replaced for cutting the insurance policy on the firm's only
warehouse which burned to the ground in 2004. Brad Carlton resigned his COO
position in 2005.
Chancellor
Industries
1000 Market St.
Owner - Katherine Chancellor Sterling
CEO - Jack Abbott
Phillip Chancellor
II ran this company until his death. While she controls the company, Sterling is rarely
seen at it and what it does isn't clear.
Dennison-Vanguard
Industries
CEO - Keith Dennison
Dennison-Vanguard
merged a few years ago with Newman Enterprises. Keith Dennison oversaw the European
division from his office in London until he was taken ill in the late 90's,
slipped into a coma, admitted to the GHM and never heard of again.
HOTELS
Genoa City Hotel
1100 E. Chestnut -- Elegant, formal, the Genoa City Hotel is the spot for wealthy,
displaced Genoa City residents.
Genoa Towers
1500 Ashland -- The hotel for those looking for style.
RESTAURANTS
Colonnade Room
350 E. Chestnut -- Got a memorable moment to celebrate? The Colonnade Room has it all.
Maitred Jacques will personally pour the champagne.
The Embers
1100 E. Chestnut -- Located inside the Genoa City Hotel for your dining convenience,
the Embers apparently went out of business.
Gina's Place (AKA RoadKill Cafe)
216 Summit -- Need to get wasted before the drive home? Owner Gina Roma will tank you up
with free booze. Update: burned to the ground. (See above)
Gina's Too
Her plans for opening a second restaurant were shelved following the
torching of the RoadKill Cafe.
Honorable Mention
Saigon Shack - Once owned by Luan Violein this Tai restaurant folded after
the owner died and her children returned to Vietnam.
Franklin's - bad food - local socialites no longer eat here.
SHOPPING
Fenmore's
470 E. Chestnut -- Like everything else on Chestnut, Fenmore's is the Saks Fifth Avenue of
Genoa City. In a pinch, owner Lauren Fenmore will personally haul the latest fashions to
your home. If you are involved in a cosmetics war she'll also - for a price
- place products at eye-level on store shelves. For those in need of
trinkets, or to watch Fenmore have sex on the floor, Fenmore opened the
Little Shop of Horrors. Once manned by Jabot's Glow Worms, the shop of
horrors has become a shell of its former self.
HOSPITALS
God Have Mercy Medical Center
308 S. Fourth St.--They didn't call this the Center 4 Disease for nothing. Dr. Olivia
Winters, all around physician, has never been prosecuted for all the deaths she's caused.
Market St. Clinic
81 Market St. -- Opened in the late 90's, this clinic was run by Dr. Kurt Costner
and his blind receptionist, Hope Adams. The two closed shop and ran off to Kansas after
only a few months.
SCHOOLS
GC University
1200 Hyde Park -- Need a liberal arts degree to help you get ahead in the business world?
GCU is for you! Recent grads include Traci Abbott, Lauren Fenmore, Christine Williams,
Ryan & Nina McNeil and Nick Newman. Note: Newman took GCU's infamous night time speed
course and obtained a degree in only a few weeks.
Walnut Grove Academy
A private school for the rich, WGA is known for its lack registration.
Students with no last names flock to WGA. Don't have time to register? Have someone
totally unrelated do it for you. No birth or previous school records needed.
Cam's Corner
Commentary by
Cameron Bishop
June 13, 2003
I got to thinking about what – aside from the opulent
corridors of the Chancellor toilet and the Newman bone ranch, what is Genoa City really
like?
My conclusion: A racially divided, socially stunted backwater in middle America that
struggles with urban squalor.
Let's examine the facts.
There are only nine homes that we know of in Genoa City, and by homes I'm talking about
property with a driveway and a backyard for the numerous bastard children to play in.
There's the modest home of Mary Williams that she shared with overweight cop Carl until he
bolted an hour down the road to pop some bedsprings with Ruthie the big-breasted
housewife; There's the Abbott mansion where former maid Mamie Johnson continues to live
and think of herself as one of the family, when everyone else damn well knows she's little
more than a nod to integration from the otherwise all-white Abbott clan; There's the
Carlton place where sperm – it seems – runs through the gilded taps; There's the
Newman main ranch house where the other night Victor gave Nikki "Miss Piggy"
Newman a "real workout" that left her jowls quivering and his pock marks full of
sweat; There's the Newman cottage currently inhabited by Nick and Sharon Newman – a
couple whose marital discord is remedied only by aggressive sex and Sharon calling Nick
"Conan" during their late-night rendezvous'; There's the tackyroom also located
on the Newman property where mother, daughter and daughter-in-law have allowed countless
stable boys to feast on their cherries jubilee and play "break in the mare";
There's the abandoned Denison home where tumbleweed roles through the living room while
Keith lies, alone, comatose and emaciated at the God Have Mercy Medical Center; There's
the Chancellor estate looking more and more like Grand Central Station and lastly, there's
the Hodge's Manor – cold, frigid and lonely – just like Fred and Anita Hodges.
Nine houses in the entire city – all inhabited by the rich, white elite that seem to
be the warp and woof of the Genoa City social circle.
Outside the gates of these homes however tells the real story about Genoa City values.
The average African American – Dr. Olivia Winters, Neil Winters, Dru Winters, Uglily
Winters, and Nate Hastings (who hasn't been seen since he went off to Summer Camp last
year and learned how to sail) – lives in what is classified as
"condo-apartments" in the downtown core of the city. Yet anyone with any sense
of the true nature of segregation knows damn well that the "black folk" as John
Abbott might call them, have been cast out of the gated homes of Genoa City's rich and
famous – refused the right to buy their own mansions and instead left to rot away in
a "condo-apartment" that would be little more than low-income tenement housing
in any other American city.
Yes, sadly for the African American residents of this community, the only time the white
man has the temerity to speak to these people is to either tell them to work harder or to
point out the humor of Dru Winter's jive talkin' diva sista-language as though it is some
sort of 21st century minstrel show.
Granted, they tried to throw Victoria Newman and Neil Winters into bed together – but
Victoria, the high and mighty sow of Genoa City, is certainly no Thomas Jefferson and
wouldn't crawl into bed with a black man unless he was holding a sweet potato pie and
willing to call her "massa."
Yes, the racial divide in this city is both shocking and disgusting – perhaps
Reverend Al Sharpton should roll into town and whip the black community up into a frenzy
where they could push for equality and respect, and a right to own a home with a gate, as
opposed to a low-rent apartment with an old wino named Charlotte Ramsey sleeping in the
lobby and yelling expletives at people when she's not tossed a nickel. Hell, maybe Al
could even push for African Americans to run their own damn companies instead of doing the
heavy lifting for some angry old white guy who's got a black, taxpayer funded corroded
heart like Dick Cheney.
Yet it is not only the African Americans of this city that are ostracized – so too
are single women, women entrepreneurs, Cuban immigrants and minimum wage workers.
Diane Jenkins, Lauren Fenmore and Gina Romalotti – three women with capable training
and education – who reside in a hotel in downtown Genoa City, and who are seldom
called or asked out for lunch or dinner. Indeed, Diane spends her time alone pining away
over having her bastard child ripped from her arms in order to be raised behind the gates
of the Abbott's chateau. I guess the next time Diane inserts a turkey baster into her
privates and fires the baby gravy inside, she'll make damn sure the guy is either single
and interested, or an old invalid with little more than a heartbeat.
Then there are the sad cases of Lauren Fenmore and Gina Romalotti – both are
entrepreneurs and both are ignored and ostracized by their peers. Oh sure, people call
Lauren's store and ask her to send over the latest catalogue, but the reality is that
Fenmore is little more than the ongoing cocktail party joke – a punch line inserted
somewhere after a waiter is heard saying, "Can I offer you another weenie, Mrs.
Chancellor?"
The very fact that Lauren has barely any staff or customers tells me that this poor woman
is wearing the figurative scarlet letter in this community. The word is out: the woman's a
whore and we'll ignore her competitive prices and merchandise until she's bankrupt, eating
chicken broth and sharing a bed with a nit-ridden bag lady at the local homeless shelter.
In Gina's case, she traipses from table-to-table in that restaurant/diner/bawdy house
smiling and belting out a few show tunes here and there – and yet, the only thing
these people want from her is to get her latest recipe for tortellini and to ship the
woman back to Italy on the next flight. When was the last time this lady was invited over
for a drink or even given a friendly wave or even mentioned in conversation aside from
derogatory comments about her plum tomatoes and sweet sweet oregano patch?
There is also the likes of the Guittierez family. Good, hard-working, God-fearing,
tax-paying immigrants. But in Genoa City they are scorned for being poor and for being
Cuban. Remember the outrage of the Hodges when it was discovered that Raul Guittierez was
dipping his cigar into Lake Brittany? Even Castro's espoused less venom towards the United
States. Sad, but true. Cubans may be welcome on Cinto de Mayo, but certainly not year
round in this Midwestern hell-hole.
And then there is Cody Dixon the coffee hack. Earning, it can only be assumed, three to
four dollars an hour pouring java for the denizens of Genoa City, he thought he'd get a
leg up by asking the boss's sister out on a date. After having basically laughed in his
face, Victoria Newman agreed – but then spent the evening inhaling everything
available on the menu and swilling back white wine in order to forget she was out with a
member of the proletariat. You see Cody forgot the Golden Rule in Genoa City: The rich get
richer and the poor just get blown off. Indeed, about the only thing Cody should expect to
receive from Pigtoria is a year in traction and a broken pelvis.
Moreover, entertainment-wise this City can only point to four restaurants: The Colon Room,
Crimson Lights, Gina's Italian Bistro and The Lodge. What kind of lure are these to the
average American tourists? Are these restaurants the best that the Genoa City Council can
do for commercial development?
It must be some ugly town – 9 mansions, tenement housing, the Olive Pit; the tall
glass structure of Newman enterprises, 1 hotel, the 3 story 1980's-style brick building
housing Jabot, 1 school where kids show up or not depending on how the mood hits, and a
university where degrees are apparently given away as easy as Nikki Newman has been known
to spread her legs.
Yes, Genoa City is certainly not a jewel in the crown of integration, acceptance or
opportunities for all. While "president" Bush runs around the country claiming
that in his America "no child is left behind" he may want to have Air Force One
touch down in Genoa City to see what some of his backwards, Reaganesque policies have done
to children, minorities, the working poor, single mothers and a large number of women who
are left having to rent hotel rooms instead of buying homes and are relegated to the level
of social and economic pariahs. Compassionate conservatism? Hogwash.
In this town the rich call the shots, the poor are given the boot, women clamor to crawl
into bed with deadbeat dads, kids never go to school but thanks to nepotism run
multi-million dollar conglomerates, unprotected sex is the norm, segregation remains, and
a pudgy chick named Sierra is made to think that she is somehow popular and not just the
swing vote in the campaign for homecoming queen.
This is Genoa City where there isn't much fun to be had. Just the smell of wealth and the
familiar sounds of class warfare and racial inequality. |
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