Since the appointment of Lynn Marie Latham to
Executive Producer and Head Writer in February 2006,
fans of The Young and the Restless have had mixed
reactions to some of the drastic changes on their
favorite daytime drama. We managed to snag an
exclusive interview with Latham when she was on set
recently, strolling around looking for crew members
to fire and plotlines to drop. Latham sat down to a
glass of the Genoa City Adultery Club's famous mint
iced tea and agreed to answer our questions for
thirty minutes or until she felt the need to have
her ass kissed by Michelle Stafford, whichever came
first.
Liza Van Horne: Thanks you for giving us your time,
Lynn - may I call you Lynn?
LML: No. I prefer Your Majesty.
LVH: First of all, what do you have to say to the
complaints about the grossly disproportionate amount
of screen time you're giving to Brad? You must be
aware that the fans unilaterally despise him.
LML: Ask him what he thinks about it. He's right
here under my skirt.
LVH: I'll uh, pass on that. But seriously, Don
Diamont can't move his face, is orange, and bugs the
living crap out of the viewers. What justification
is there for featuring him so heavily?
LML: Don Diamont is an exceptionally gifted actor
with an astounding range and tangible sex appeal.
LVH: Okay, well, it's evident your parachute is
Brad-colored, so let's agree to disagree. Moving on,
what do you have to say about the completely
inconsistent details your writing staff frequently
pulls out of their collective ass? For example:
since when is Porniel allergic to gluten? Since when
do the Winters' celebrate "Ice Cream Night"? Do you
think we haven't been watching this show long enough
to know better?
LML: Daniel developed a gluten allergy as the result
of his addiction to pornography, duh. Anyone should
be able to deduce that. As for the Winters' Ice
Cream Night, just because you haven't seen it
before, how do you know it didn't happen?
Jesus, this is a show in which miscarriages happen
during commercial breaks. You don't get to see
every thing.
LVH: Fair enough. I guess I was mistakenly assuming
a television show such as yours exists for the
purpose of presenting ongoing fictional stories on a
screen which the viewers can then watch at home and
follow along.
LML: Well, that's your first mistake.
LVH: Speaking of continuity, you have a reputation
for firing people faster and more often than a whore
pulls down her knickers. Why did you recast Colleen?
Rumors suggest Tammin Sursok had a bounce or two on
the ol' casting couch if you know what I mean and I
think you do.
LML: Tammin Sursok is an exceptionally gifted
actress with an astounding range and tangible sex
appeal.
LVH: Right. Sometimes it feels as if you are writing
storylines than gather steam and then get dropped
like a hot potato. Nick's amnesia, for one, and the
possible duplicity of Cane Ashby, for another. Do
you have ADD or are your writers really that sloppy?
LML: Raise your hand if you won an Emmy last year.
Oops, just me, then.
LVH: Also, you seem to throw actors together in
random pairings and sort of see what sticks. How do
you decide who might be a good couple with whom?
LML: We have this dart board in the office with
pictures of the entire cast and what I do is, I
blindfold one of my pages, get him drunk and spin
him around and we all bet on who he's going to hit.
It's a real scream! We do this on Friday afternoons
and sometimes I allow my staff to share a bag of
microwave popcorn too. They really enjoy that
privilege. I'm a beloved boss, let me tell you. My
staff adores me. I let them keep their jobs and in
return I can call in a foot rub anytime I want.
LVH: Wow. Just...wow. You do realize that you're
completely ruining my show? Do you just not care?
LML: Did I mention I won an Emmy?
LVH: Is Noah Newman gay?
LML: Oh, hell yes. Gay as the day is long.
LVH: Well, I have more questions but if I spend one
more minute of my life in your presence I think I
will have to projectile vomit and promptly commit
suicide. Thank you for your time.
LML: You're welcome, whatever your name is. Don,
stop it! You're tickling Mommy!
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