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by Kelley Jarvis
October 30, 2009
I want to tell all the GCNews readers a scary story.
Next year at this time, TPTB may have all of the
adult characters removed fro Y&R. Due to budget cuts
and the suits' screwing around with actors' and
actress' dignity and contracts, only teenage
characters will remain. Isn't that frightening? That
might make a few folks sleep with the lights on for
several weeks. Yes, I'm only kidding...maybe.
*Laughing maniacally*.
OK, semi-seriously speaking, since the witching
season is upon us, I may have a solution about how
to rid Genoa City of those pesky, no-talent teen
characters. The specialized services of two famous
men are needed to handle this problem. The first man
is a rugged, never-say-die sort who has been known
to plod along, despite impossible odds and hideous
injuries that would sidetrack other folks. He would
never be mistaken for just another face in the
crowd, since his complexion is pale white and his
features are devoid of expression.
This fellow has a deep loathing for teenagers and is
especially irked by the youngsters who behave quite
like the ones who clutter the Jitter Joint in Genoa
City. He's the strong, silent type and isn't exactly
what a discriminating woman would describe as a
sharp dressed man. This Haddonfield, Illinois native
prefers a basic one-piece jumpsuit that's basic
khaki with a few bloodstains thrown in. I am
referring to the infamous Michael Myers, who killed
his teenage sister with a large butcher knife when
he was six years old and dressed as a clown. Myers
seems to come out of hibernation only around
Halloween, so booking him might pose a challenge.
Kevin might enjoy meeting a true, undead psychopath
and he might have a buddy for life.
In the event Mr. Myers is busily involved in yet
another of the "Halloween" films, I can think of one
more guy who, if he couldn't get the teens out of
town, he would certainly liven things up with his
campy remarks and razor-sharp wit. This fellow has a
signature look of old, worn green trousers, a red
and green striped sweater, a battered fedora and a
custom made glove with long razor blades that fit
over his fingers. He has a complexion problem due to
the fact that enraged parents from Springfield,
Ohio, burned him alive in the boiler room where he
used to do his grisly work. Freddy Krueger would be
a good candidate for the job, but he could only
visit these obnoxious brats when they sleep. That's
problematic since they do nothing except swill down
expensive coffee all day. All that caffeine would
keep them from dozing off and meeting the man of
their nightmares.
Then again, this dynamic, undying duo could take a
little tour through the offices of Bell Productions
and Sony to meet the airheads who write the
uninspired crap and the suits who seem to have
driven away Y&R veteran actress Melody Thomas Scott.
Let's just give them a good scare, I am not
advocating murder or violence. Let's just cue up the
classic "Halloween" theme and the eerie chant by the
little girls who seem to play jump-rope throughout
the "Nightmare On Elm Street" series, "One, two,
Freddy's coming for you. Three, four, better lock
your door..." turn the boys loose to cause some
scary Halloween hijinks and pop some popcorn. It
might be the most exciting episode of Y&R in
history. |
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