Victor (or, Eric Braeden, take your pick) is so
desperate to prove he's still a stud flew to LA this
week in the space of ten seconds to see a woman he
barely knows because she showed the slightest bit of
attention to him. With his shirt unbuttoned down to
his navel, this poor, pathetic geriatric case
strolled the halls of the museum of modern art,
proclaiming the red beams and white walls so
compelling, along with the displays of giant Mylar
balloons, dead goats encased in glass, a Jackson
Pollack creation on a twirling board and a
kaleidoscope swirling mass that, thankfully, stood
still lest he regress into epileptic seizures.
Meanwhile his new found son Adam took up in his
stead with his hair greased back like he's trying to
copy Nick. A few more days and I expect him to be
sporting the same razor stubble his brother always
has. Given the added fact that Victoria never met a
brush she could abide it seems for all the world
that Newman offspring don't grasp the concept of
grooming. And why is this pretentious, boring kid
going by the name of Adam Wilson when everyone he
meets instantly recognizes him as Victor's son?
Who was that strange man at Brad's poker party? I
don't even think he had a name. When they have to
hire extra day players to fill out a poker party of
five people it rather obviously demonstrates the
fact that Brad has no friends whatsoever. He barely
knows Cane at all and never warmed up to the idea of
Adrian being with his daughter, but that's about the
best he could do for poker buddies.
There seems to be a whole host of extras these days.
In addition to the stranger at the poker party,
there was the chirpy new barista at the coffee
house, the janitor who interrupted Victor with the
vacuum, some lady sitting outside Victor's office,
another strange lady getting off the elevator at
both Newman and Restless style, and some other
groupies working the phone lines there. If the show
has the money to pay extras why aren't we seeing
Miguel anymore, or Mary Williams, or Victor's much
put-upon secretary, Connie? Where is Sharon's mother
Doris? Whatever happened to Michael's assistant,
Chantal? It's as though they decided en masse to
abandon the show just as millions of viewers have
over the last several years.
But I guess the burning question now is where will
Jack and Sharon live? Let me take a guess. Um, the
athletic club? Half the town already either lives
there or takes their meals there. Maybe there's
another guest house on the Newman property, or maybe
Sharon will remember she still owns the one she
left.
So Chloe is working Lily like a dog? My own dog does
more work than Lily and she spends her day licking
her ass and coughing up fur balls. Lily doesn't even
have enough sense to take a nap when she's sleepy.
She wanders around town going to the athletic club
and the coffee shop and the Chancellor estate
whining about how hard her job is. What job?
Whining? Yeah, that can take a lot out of you. I
feel sorry for Chloe having to put up with this
idiot and her idiot superiors who think spending ten
minutes a day in the break room pouring coffee
constitutes hard work.
Look, if they want to improve this show, they need
to spend less time on boring old farts like Victor
and boring young pathetic farts like Adam and Lily
and get back to normal characters the audience
actually cares about. Rumor has it that Maria Arena
Bell is a patron of Jeff Koons whose artwork we were
forced to gaze at in horror this week while Victor
marveled at the visage of giant Easter Bunnies and
toy caterpillars stuck into ladders. Fans aren't as
enamored of Victor as the writers seem to think.
Surely the other museum goers (not that there were
any to be found) looked upon Victor and Sabrina and
thought to themselves "Isn't it nice that her
Grandpa is taking her to the museum this week?" God
forbid they saw them making out amongst the light
pole display and wondering what this world has come
to when a grandfather and a granddaughter are
getting it on. I find myself asking the same
question.
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