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by
Todd Brown
What's Sharon doing in Paris anyway? Did she have to
follow her son there just because he took a class
trip? She sure as hell never felt the need to follow
him to Sam's house every night. Maybe following
Nicholas is her real agenda. She couldn't answer her
phone whenever her husband called but she picked it
right up as soon as she saw Nick's number on her
caller ID. And Nick's just dumb enough to fall for
her trap. Ostensibly in France to find Victor,
Nicholas nevertheless found himself wandering along
the left bank doing a little sight seeing. Between
his mother's trampiness and his father's idiocy,
it's no wonder Noah finds himself being led around
by the nose by Eden. This little mama's boy doesn't
stand a chance.
Lily has got to be the most loathsome, pathetic
creature around. Her life empty and meaningless, she
plops herself down at the coffee shop every day and
waits for Cane and Chloe to show up and rub their
pregnancy in her face, literally. Not only does she
seem to thrive on self pity, she encourages this
kind of masochism by actually inviting Chloe to sit
at her table instead of telling her where to cram
it. And as if that were not enough, Lily purposely
subjects herself to the companionship of that
tiresome little brat Ana while the kid prattles on
endlessly over her school chums and their
insignificant lives. Does Lily go home and flog
herself every day afterwards? She seems to live for
abuse.
How humiliated will Lily feel - deservedly so - when
she learns that her new cyber boyfriend is actually
someone she knows quite well - Billy Abbott? This
nitwit has not yet seemed to show the slightest bit
of suspicion that this guy has thus far avoided
meeting her in person. Nor can I fathom just why
Billy is playing this little game with her, unless
it be to purposely screw with her head. Billy is
kind of messed up anyway, maybe he just wants
someone as messed up as he is. He wasn't able to
elaborate to Lily about his one great love, because
it turned out to be his cousin. You know how that
can be.
What the hell is Olivia even doing in town?
Allegedly she ran into Lily while the latter was in
New York and decided to accompany her home to spend
some time with her niece during her latest moment of
crisis, yet she has spent every moment since with
Karen and Neil. Thanks a lot, Aunt Liv. Doesn't she
have anything better to do? Surely there are
patients at the hospital that need killing. The
death rate just hasn't been the same without her.
Are we supposed to feel sorry for Kevin and his pals
as they complain about their economic woes?
Seriously? Kevin owns a coffee shop where every
citizen in town spends at least half their day. On
top of that, he has a high powered job at Jabot, and
when he was hired, he took Michael along with him to
negotiate a hefty six figure salary. And he says
he's "just getting by?" If he's just getting by, I
must be homeless.
Daniel drew a few lousy pencil sketches of his
girlfriend and immediately got his own high profile
art show in Manhattan. He is obviously not hurting
for money, or he wouldn't have been able to spend
the better part of two months traveling around with
his "rock star" father. As for Amber, didn't
Katherine give her a big check to bankroll her new
clothing line? Whatever happened to that? The way
everyone sits around all day without ever actually
going to work, it's awfully hard to muster any
sympathy for them if they have financial worries.
So it costs $75,000 in cold, hard cash to get rehab?
No wonder poor people are drunks. You know what I
want to see? I want to be there when Katherine
brings her identical twin doppelganger Marge into
the dryout clinic, and the doctors who see drunks on
a daily basis think that THEY'RE seeing double for a
change. That ought to be good for a laugh.
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