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by
Todd Brown
June 13, 2009
So let me see if I've got this straight. Some con
man who sells art forgeries latched onto Daniel,
based on his mad skills at reproducing stolen
masterpieces faster than most people can paint by
numbers. Said con man already had Daniel duped into
thinking he was working for the Feds and would
therefore willingly hand over the painting upon
completion as agreed. Instead, the con man broke
into Daniel's apartment and ransacked it to steal
the painting for some reason, which caused Daniel to
phone the real authorities and unmask the con man's
cover story.
The con man then tried to sell the painting to the
sister of Daniel's stepfather only days later.
Didn't even bother trying to go somewhere else, like
maybe Chicago or New York, but actually had the
balls to try to pawn this thing off on someone
related to Daniel, with Daniel only yards away in
the next house over. Wow, I guess the con man
figured he wasn't going to find anyone stupid enough
to fall for his scheme except maybe in Genoa City.
And you know what? He was probably right. What on
earth would possess Victoria to allow a total
stranger into her home late at night, with her
husband away, the electricity off, and two small
children sleeping upstairs? How much of a moron do
you have to be to agree to an exchange that's
dubious at best with someone who wants to meet in
the alley behind Jimmy's Bar? A moron as big as
Victoria, that's how much. I think she suffered
permanent brain damage from that coma she was in.
She's like a walking magnet for stuff falling on
her, be it rocks or crates of wood. Rather pointless
for JT to hope nothing showed up on her CT scan.
There's nothing in there to see.
And what kind of Mickey Mouse operation is the
justice department running in Genoa City anyway?
Where were all the agents that were supposed to
protect Victoria, not to mention her bag of cash?
Jana said the place was "crawling with them" but I
only saw one guy sitting at a table plus the
bartender. Meanwhile people were getting shot, Amber
was screaming her head off, and the bartender had
his back turned to them while he calmly cleaned the
glasses or something, oblivious to it all. As though
stuff like that happens there all the time.
Aren't Daniel, Amber, Kevin and Jana getting a
little tired of being arrested for crimes they
didn't commit? They seem to be their own worst
enemies. By now they should be asking to be locked
up just in case another crime is committed so they
can be eliminated as suspects right away. The
Justice Department guy had it right, they're all bad
news. The chipmunk bandit and his moll, the two
strikes and almost out Daniel and the brain tumor
murderer. Not exactly the SuperFriends, are they?
Ashley's not too bright either, is she? I get that
she doesn't want to see Olivia, I mean, who would
with Olivia's track record. But wouldn't you find it
odd that a man who heads up the OBGYN department at
Harvard Medical and teaches at Boston College would
agree to make an impromptu house call? In Wisconsin?
Brains notwithstanding, Ashley is nothing short of a
medical miracle. She fell down a flight of stairs
and walked away with nary a bruise, even at her age.
I fell off a chair changing the battery in my smoke
detector a few months ago and my leg looked like a
Jackson Pollack painting for weeks. Ashley also
apparently miscarried yet only bled for a couple of
minutes. And I don't even want to think about where
the baby went.
Speaking of babies, how can Sharon's baby already be
kicking? The woman is still wearing a size zero
dress with a belt. At this point the baby can't be
any bigger than her nose hairs. Maybe it's just
indigestion from eating at the club every day. And I
don't care how low her self esteem is these days,
she ought to be downright embarrassed at this point
by the number of men seen coming and going from her
room. You'd think by now the manager of the club
would have thrown her out on suspicion of being a
hooker.
Say want you want about Jack Abbott, the man is a
machine. He had an unexpected sexual encounter with
his ex-wife Phyllis, got up and went to the club
(without showering afterwards, mind you), ran into
his latest fling Mary Jane, and was enticed to
follow her upstairs for yet another roll in the hay.
Jack is not a young man, and isn't taking any
performance enhancing drugs that I'm aware of.
That's quite an accomplishment - even Victor hasn't
had sex with two women in the space of as many hours
and he's the biggest stud in town. To even things
out, Jack can't have babies that are his. Not unless
someone steals his sperm accidentally, anyway.
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