Corner Stores
More Stores
Shop the GCN/Amazon Store
Best
Sellers |
|
by
Todd Brown
February 7, 2009
What a craptacular cabin the Abbott family has up
there in the hills. All these years, with their
never ending financial crises, I think the first
thing I would have suggested selling would have been
that God awful place. Not that it can possibly be
worth much money, but this is a family that needs
every penny they can get.
The place has no phone, no cell service, apparently
only one bedroom, and a generator that goes out when
it snows. Doesn't it even have regular electricity?
Generators are supposed to be for backup. And I
wasn't hearing about any kind of ice storm they were
having up there, no power lines snapping, no tree
branches crashing down to the ground, just snow.
What's the point of having a generator for when you
lose the electricity if the generator goes out when
it snows? Might as well get some hamsters running on
exercise wheels hooked up to the fuse box.
They can't even seem to make up their minds where
the hell it is. On the one hand, it's so far away
they can't even get reception on their cell phones.
On the other hand, people have been coming and going
like it's just up the street even in the heaviest of
blizzards. First Jack, then Brad, then Nick. Yet
somehow when Phyllis headed that way only moments
after Nick made the trip, the road was closed and
impassable. And while the location is so remote you
can't even get cell phone service, JT was able to
ping Brad's cell phone from a cell phone tower.
Someone needs to switch to the Verizon network.
What the hell do people in Genoa City consider a
blizzard, anyway? As far as I could see, all that
they were experiencing was lightly falling snow with
no wind whatsoever. You call that a blizzard? You
can totally tell the people who write this crap live
in California. People were falling through ice and
roads were closing but the snow didn't even come up
to their ankles. And the women were walking around
in sleeveless dresses like Abby was, or clomping
around in high heels like Phyllis. That's not
blizzard attire where I come from.
Is it just me, or is there a vaguely creepy vibe to
the whole JT/Victoria relationship? I know the
actors are around the same age, but to me JT should
still be hanging around with Billy, Mac and
Brittany. I can't help remembering he was one of the
high school kids when Victoria was already pushing
30 and running Newman Enterprises. Now, somehow,
they're supposed to be contemporaries and nobody
comments on the May/December aspect of their
romance.
I sure as hell wouldn't leave my kid with them,
anyway. Although to be fair you could probably just
put Summer in a box for all the difference it'd
make. The way she just sits there like a zombie
without reacting to any of her surroundings she
makes Rain Man look like a functioning member of
society. I keep waiting for her to say "Twelve
minutes to Wapner." I don't know where Victoria got
the idea that Summer was so good with Reed. If she
reacts to Reed the same way she reacts to adults she
probably thinks Reed is one of her dolls. Keep that
kid away from frozen ponds, is all I'm saying.
I guess it's no surprise the kids turn out this way
considering how they're raised. They get handed off
to relatives they barely know on their best days,
and to servants more often. One minute JT and
Victoria were supposed to be baby sitting Summer,
and the next thing you know, JT was off somewhere
with Colleen, Victoria showed up at the hospital,
and Phyllis didn't even bother to ask who was
watching Summer. Then Jack drove Phyllis home and
Phyllis went on and on about what a great family she
has and what a beautiful child she has, and it still
hadn't occurred to her she had no idea where her
daughter was or who was looking after her.
I'm not sure it's fair to blame women, or even his
interest in them, if Nick finds that every brain
cell in his head disappears the moment he sees one.
That's not a lot of brain cells to begin with, let's
be honest. Maybe two. And I'm being generous here.
He and Sharon have always been meant for one
another, if only to the extent that neither one of
them possesses the common sense to stay the hell
away from remote cabins with no phones or working
generators during a blizzard. What I'm not buying is
that Sharon is capable of writing a three page
letter to her ex-husband without a crayon and lined
paper, or that Nick is able to read it without help
sounding out the "big" words. Like "Nick."
More |
|
Please visit this merchant
|
