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by Todd Brown
March 28, 2009

Will Adam be the Mr. Magoo of Genoa City? When he looked at the drawing of Sabrina and asked if it was a picture of Zapato, I about died laughing. Aside from being horribly insulting - to Zapato - this storyline is rife with potential for hilarity, intentional or otherwise. I can't wait for the day when we see Adam standing there carrying on a conversation with a coat rack. "Excuse me my good woman, why - by George! You're not Sabrina either, confound it!" No wonder he thinks Ashley is capable of having another baby.

Considering who he has to live with, I'm not convinced Adam is better off at the Newman Ranch than he would be in jail. At least in jail he's got guards looking after him and three square meals a day. Is Estella getting paid extra to cook and clean for him, and essentially serving as his warden? And it goes without saying it's no picnic living with Victor. I swear the man kicks puppies in the head for laughs.

Then the great man himself officially pronounced Katherine genuine on the basis that no one else ever had the guts to speak up to him the way she did. Only, that's not exactly true, is it? Nikki talks to him that way all the time, and so have his children at various times. Jack and Brad have too. The only difference is that he doesn't kick Katherine to the curb when she does it. Does the old man have a thing for her? God knows of all the women he's ever been involved with she's the closest to his own age, despite what the show would have us believe.

Katherine has surely lost her memory to say that she trusts Olivia Winters "implicitly." She's lost a good deal of her sensibilities too. I don't even have enough digits to count up all the people Olivia has killed. The woman isn't to be trusted with unwrapping a stick of gum let alone performing the DNA test of the century. And since when do doctors do DNA tests anyway? That might be the whole problem right there. You know why Olivia is suddenly back in town? Because wherever she was before, whether it was Doctors Without Borders or elsewhere, they finally got sick of her killing everyone and sent her back home.

And as far as DNA tests go, what are they really worth anymore in this city? Jill and Katherine had a DNA test done a couple of years ago to prove they were mother and daughter, and now it seems those results were worthless. Cane and Jill had to take two DNA tests and got conflicting results from both. DNA tests on Chloe's baby also convinced Cane he was the father. Honestly, you can get better answers from a psychic phone friend.

There's not much to brag about when it comes to medical practices or ethics in this town. It looked like they dug up Marge and wheeled her into the lab while Jill was still arguing with Victor over whether or not she would allow such a thing. That whole timeline was horribly screwed up. Turns out Victor didn't need to give that stock away after all. Even the dead people go away unconvinced they're really dead. Marge and John keep wandering around like they're not quite sure to this day. I guess they figure if Genoa City hospital says they're dead that's no reason to rot in their graves considering their track record.

About this ring that's supposedly worth half a million dollars. In the first place, I find that highly unlikely. Never mind that it looks like something you'd get out of a gumball machine. If it's as old as they say then the stones aren't worth much today unless it's part of the Hope Diamond. But let us assume, for the sake of the argument, that it is in fact worth half a million dollars. Why on earth would Katherine have wrapped it up in a note, handed it to the bellboy and asked him to give it to Nikki? That bellboy should be living on an island somewhere by now.

And Victor can't seem to make up his mind about Nikki. First he asked her why she wasn't wearing the ring, which he went to so much trouble to get back for her. And I don't know why he bothered if he hates her so much. Then he proceeded to berate her for her poor choices and general gullibility. But, if he thinks she's so stupid and so easily duped, why did he think she should be walking around with a half million dollar ring on her finger in the first place? A ring worth that kind of money should be under a class case with a light shining on it and laser beams surrounding it, not on the finger of an idiot parading around town with it.

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