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by Todd Brown
April 25, 2009

People in Genoa City get married too damned fast. I think that's why most of those marriages fail. Look at Neil and Karen. When the primary reason you get married is to give yourself leverage in a custody case, and your wedding takes place at a jazz club of all things, what can you expect? Whatever happened to dating, and getting to know one another? Why rush down the aisle? I don't know anybody who didn't spend at least six months planning their wedding and none of those people had half the money everyone in Genoa City does.

Now Cane and Lily are engaged - again. And want to get married in less than a month. Their relationship thus far has started and stopped in fits of melodrama and scandal and they already have three divorces between them. Wouldn't it be a good idea to maybe just live together for, say, a year? And make sure it's for real this time? And did my eyes deceive me, or did Cane actually have the colossal gall to propose with the same ring he gave Lily the first time he proposed to her? A ring she gave back to him and which he proceeded to give to his NEXT wife? Which she, apparently, also gave back so he could give it to Lily again? And she didn't throw it in his face?

Cane has decided he wants to live "the simple life." In this town? He went from bartender to construction foreman to CEO of a major international company in a matter of months. At this point, I think "simple life" is out. If he's not going to work for Jabot, or Chancellor, or presumably Newman Enterprises, where does that leave him? Back to bartending? Oh yeah, actually owning a bar. Real step up. How weird it would be to be served drinks by the former CEO of Jabot cosmetics. You know where Cane should totally work? Outback Steakhouse.

And now Lily wants to be a model again. Can't she make up her damn mind? All she did was complain about it the last time she did it and now she says how much she misses it. Even more absurd is the idea that she's going to model for Restless Style. Since when in the hell does a magazine have their own model? Usually the people who pay to advertise in magazines pretty much have their own models. You never hear anyone going "Oh, yeah, she's the People model" or "I know her, she's the US Magazine model."

How considerate of Lily, telling her dad she's engaged (again) the very day his wife leaves him. Nice timing. Way to rub it in. As if the man doesn't already feel lousy enough as it is, now he has to contend with having a son in law that gets drunk and can't remember who he's slept with. Not to mention one that looks like he's only a couple years younger than he is. But at the end of the day perhaps Neil deserves added insult to injury. When he took off his wedding ring and set it down on top of Karen's it almost fit right INSIDE Karen's ring. He must have some tiny fingers. Hmm, maybe that's really why Karen left him.

Lily says she and Cane favor a "traditional" wedding. Maybe I'm old fashioned but to me, a "traditional" wedding doesn't include a bride with an ex husband and a groom she's already been engaged to, almost had a baby with, who had two ex wives himself, one that came before her and one that came afterward. Nor does include the decision to have a baby right away that they want to get started on before the wedding even takes place. And where did they get that dog? Since when do $1300 pure bred Yorkies wind up in rescue shelters? Poor thing's doomed in the house of Cane and Lily. Run, Toto, run!

Why is Mac applying for a job at a dive like Jimmy's? Like Lily did. It's like there's only two jobs in town for women: model or waitress. Well, we know Mac sure as hell doesn't qualify for the former. But didn't she offer to pick up the slack at Crimson Lights not a week ago to help out Kevin and Jana? A place she used to own, by the way. Shouldn't she be looking for work at a homeless shelter or social services or the welfare department or something? Isn't that her bag? Oh, I get it. Once Jimmy's gone, all the regulars are going to wonder where the mannish looking woman is, and Mac is there to fit the bill.

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