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by
Todd Brown
May 23, 2009
God, what a boring wedding reception Lily and Cane
had. The music sucked, the guest list was
questionable at best, and nobody drank. I guess
that's probably because half the town is made up of
recovering alcoholics. There's Katherine, and Nikki,
and Neil. And sometimes Jill. Daniel swore off the
sauce after the Cassie incident, and Cane quit
drinking after waking up a few too many times with
wives he didn't remember marrying. Kevin can't drink
with his anti psychotic meds and I'm willing to bet
Murphy has a few prescriptions at his age too. So,
dry reception. I'm surprised they didn't resort to
playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey.
Now Lily and Cane can't wait to start their lives
together. Gee, what an exciting life that's going to
be. The bartender and the model/waitress/interior
designer/college student/mother. As soon as Lily can
make up her mind what she wants to be, I'm sure it
will all turn out great. Does it strike anyone else
rather odd that Cane married someone young enough to
be his daughter? If he's the same age as Phillip III
and if Phillip IV is in the military, then yeah,
Lily could be his daughter. That's a sick thing.
How come Devon suddenly has relatives popping up out
of the woodwork right and left now? I thought he was
supposed to be some neglected kid nobody wanted that
wound up on the street. Then one day we found out he
had an aunt stable enough to hold down a job, a
sister he thought was a cousin, and now he's got a
great aunt with enough money to buy plane fare and a
fancy outfit. Why didn't any of them take care of
him? Maybe because they met him? No fools they,
waiting until he latched onto a rich family before
they finally decided he was worth the bother.
Boy they sure got a bunch of enthusiastic staffers
over there a Restless Style, huh? They could barely
register a response when Phyllis announced their
latest issue doubled their sales projection. They're
probably all dead on their feet trying to crank out
one issue after another with pictures on the cover
that were taken only hours before the issue hit the
stands. Apparently nobody there believes in planning
ahead.
Is that psychiatrist Sharon saw the same woman she
hired to counsel Jack when he pretended he had a sex
addiction? God what this woman must think of them. I
can't believe they locked Drucilla and Kevin up just
for a little paranoia and delusions but they still
let Sharon run around loose. Her laundry list of
instabilities over the last few months alone should
have had the shrink speed dialing the men in white
coats.
Looks like it's that time of year, when we drag out
the flashbacks of Cassie. I sure hope Camryn Grimes
gets residuals for this considering the way they
bumped her off. Hey, look, Summer drew a lousy
crayon drawing of her family just like Cassie did.
The similarities between the two stop there, though.
For one thing, Cassie could talk. I somehow doubt
the kid playing Summer is going to win an Emmy any
time soon. You know what's really amazing about that
drawing Cassie did of Sharon all those years ago?
The way she foreshadowed Sharon's stringy, yellow
hair years before it even started looking that way.
You know what else? The way Noah's still about two
inches tall.
I've about had it with the annual Cassie weep-athons
though. For God's sake, people die all the time in
this town. Katherine has buried three husbands but
you don't see her sitting around crying over their
photos every year. Usually people get over the death
of a loved one in about a week or so on this show.
It's bad enough we have to go through this on the
anniversary of her death, but we also go through it
every year on her birthday, and every single holiday
they say was her favorite. Enough already. In many
ways, Cassie is still more alive than Summer.
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