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by
Todd Brown
July 11, 2009
Well it looks like we're finally getting to the
bottom of all the DNA test inconsistencies that have
plagued Genoa City for lo these past many years.
Apparently you can bribe the lab technicians to have
the test results say anything you want them to.
That's what Cane did, anyway, when confronted with a
paternity test over Delia. Am I wrong in thinking we
need a law to abolish all future DNA testing in this
town for the foreseeable future? Why isn't Heather
arresting a whole bunch of DNA test people? Oh,
that's right, Heather only arrests innocent people.
My bad.
I guess we can also see why so many people get such
crappy healthcare at the hospital and lousy police
service from the local force. Doctors can be bribed
to fake deaths and rig equipment and sign phony
documents just so people who are unhappy with their
lives can run away and the police will also play a
part for the right price. At least Jill's money
troubles should be over. By suing the hospital and
the police force she stands to make millions. The
irony in all this is that so many people actually do
get killed in that hospital that when somebody fakes
their death nobody questions it. You know when you
walk through those front doors whoever you've come
to see has a very slim chance of making it out of
their alive.
I guess that's why all the nurses and doctors don't
even bat an eye when people are yelling their heads
off in hospital rooms and fighting outside in the
hallways. They just figure "Well, they're all going
to die anyway." I feel sorry for the other patients,
though. Another reason why people never make it out
of that place alive, there's no chance to recuperate
with all the noise going on outside their rooms.
Works good for coma patients though. All that
yelling, they eventually wake up.
So, Phillip. Gay, huh? Still drunk too by the sound
of him. I can understand why he ran away all those
years ago though. Must be pretty tough being the
only gay guy in all of Wisconsin. It's not like he
was ever going to get any action at Jimmy's bar.
Although I hear if you pour enough drinks into Cane
he'll screw just about anyone. Just keep the guy
away from Daniel and his weird v-neck shirts and
funny hats and proclivity for art. Because even
Phillip looks straight next to that kid.
I realize it's no use calling the police but isn't
Devon guilty of dognapping? Why did he take Humphrey
with him when he brought Lily all her clothes? As I
recall Lily gave that dog to Cane. There's no take-sies
back-sies with dogs. Say what you want about Cane
but he's a much better "parent" than Lily will ever
be. I can't see Lily taking Humphrey out for walks.
She'll probably just let him run around the
apartment building halls oblivious to his
whereabouts. I shudder to think of the poor thing's
fate at the hands of this empty headed moron. He'll
probably end up wherever Fisher went.
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