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by
Todd Brown
July 18, 2009
Why on earth is Mary Jane living in the potting shed
at the Newman Ranch? Surely the local no-tell Motel
out on Route 8 where all the other villains stay
isn't booked up. Maybe they don't allow pets? Look,
I know the lady is crazy, but where the hell is she
going to the bathroom? Is she going over to the
stables and pretending the horses did it? The woman
went from slightly delusional to out of her mind in
about a day.
At least she still has enough wits about her to
realized Adam isn't her friend and can't be trusted.
Adam has already proven himself a liar after
assuring her nobody ever goes to the old shed, and
then Ashley wandered in the very next day. Strangely
enough, even though she had a good look around,
Ashley failed to notice the rather obvious and out
of place stuffed cat sitting out in plain view. I
don't know about you but if I went into my potting
shed and found a stuffed cat I'd wonder where the
hell it came from.
Heather won't arrest Mary Jane? Because the evidence
against her is circumstantial? Seriously? Heather
got a court order to ban Phyllis and Nick from being
near their child on the say so of a woman she knew
to be sketchy at best and now she's following the
rule of law? Has she finally learned her lesson, or
is she just irrational that way?
Speaking of crazy women, is Ashley cutting her own
hair? I think that's the seventh sign of crazy,
isn't it? Olivia de Havilland had better hair when
she was in The Snake Pit. What's with the
bobby pins pulling the top part back? I thought she
was supposed to be insane, not retarded. There's
definitely something wrong with her, agreeing to
have such a tacky wedding like that. Half the people
there wanted to yell "Booooo!" when the minister
pronounced them man and wife. And who the hell
delivers flowers C.O.D.? Why would a florist even
agree to that? That poor delivery man spends all day
schlepping flowers around from door to door hoping
somebody's going to pay for them.
Speaking of retarded, I don't know why everyone is
wringing their hands over the fact that poor Summer
may suffer from speech impediments, she barely talks
as it is. In fact I've thought all along there was
something wrong with this kid so if they hadn't told
me she suffered brain damage I'd never notice the
difference. Hell when she fell off the swing and
they rushed her to the emergency room she just stood
there like a vegetable. At least now she's got a
reason for being "different." The kid can lose brain
cells until the cows come home and she'll still
never be as dumb as half the adults around her.
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